Merged With Him (The Merge Series)

by Kylie Kent

  Zac

  I’ve been standing out the front of Alyssa’s townhouse for an hour. I was never planning to leave her here. Ella made sure I knew how much she did not like the fact I had called Dean to take her home.

  Pulling my phone out, I give him a call to make sure Ella didn’t put him through too much hell on the drive home. The phone only rings twice before he answers.

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m judging by the fact that you answered, you’re still alive and my sister didn’t manage to find a way to kill you yet?” I laugh.

  I don’t know what’s going on with those two, Dean and Ella used to be really close. Lately, it’s like they can’t stand being in the same room together.

  “I wouldn’t put it past her to be plotting my demise as we speak. She is your sister, after all,” he says.

  “Don’t I know it.”

  I’m about to ask him what’s up with the two of them when I hear someone scream. No, not someone, Alyssa. I hear Alyssa scream.

  “Fuck!”

  I’m holding the phone in my hand as I run towards Alyssa’s front door. My heart pounding as I take the stairs two at a time. Barging my way past Bray and some other fucker in the doorway of Alyssa’s bedroom, my heart feels like it’s just been ripped out of my chest.

  The room is a fucking mess. Where is she? Turning around, I spot her on the floor at her wardrobe, rummaging through shit mumbling about needing to find something. Fuck. Grabbing her, I pull her back into my arms. She fights herself out of my hold, begging me to help her find whatever it is she’s looking for.

  Trying to reassure her that I can replace anything she needs, her next words to me just break my fucking heart.

  “It’s the only picture of my mother I have Zac! You can’t buy me another one!”

  That’s not something I can replace. I watch as her body crumbles to the floor, she bends over herself and cries. I can feel the tears running down my own face, I haven’t cried since my parents’ funeral five years ago. But the sight of Alyssa on the floor, looking so fucking broken, I can’t take it.

  I’m about to pull myself together and scoop her up, put her back together. I can fix this. I have to fix this. Sarah leans over her, whispering in her ear, she’s also fucking crying. She looks up at me.

  “You need to take her home, Zac. Get her out of here. Please,” she pleads with me.

  I can see that she’s looking to me to put her best friend back together right now. I’m not sure how I will do it, but I make a promise to anyone that will listen that I will do just that. I will do anything to take away Alyssa’s pain.

  I pick her up and walk down the stairs with her in my arms. Bray follows me down.

  “I’ll drive,” he says just as Dean comes running through the door.

  He takes one look at us and asks, “what happened?” looking at Alyssa’s limp form in my arms.

  It’s just registering with me that she’s not clinging to me like she usually would when experiencing a panic attack. This is different. I don’t like how limp and unresponsive she’s being. I know she’s conscious to some extent, she still crying and mumbling about finding that damn picture.

  “Can you stay and help Sarah upstairs? Don’t leave her alone, bring her to the penthouse when she’s finished here.”

  I can’t even tell him what happened, I can’t bring myself to find the words that Caitlyn has finally managed to break down Alyssa.

  Getting her home, I take her straight into the shower. She’s stopped crying, she’s just silently staring into space. She won’t answer anything I ask her other than nodding or shaking her head. I honestly don’t know how to help her. Should I call a doctor in? A trauma specialist, maybe? Fuck, I just need to figure out how to help her.

  “Baby, please tell me how I can help you? What can I do?”

  I keep my voice quiet, calm, or at least I try to. But I’m breaking on the inside too. I’m breaking from seeing her like this. This is not Alyssa; not my sunshine, so full of life and promise. The girl standing in front of me now with her once beautiful blue eyes that are now dull and seem to look through me.

  She doesn't answer me, so I continue to remove her clothes so I can get her in the shower. Just as I’ve pulled her tank top over her head, she says, “you can’t help me, Zac. No one can.”

  Like fuck, I can’t help her. I know that right now she believes that, but she will see. We will get through this.

  After washing her hair for her, I dry her and bundle her up in one of my shirts, I watch as she brings the material up to her face and inhales. That one little gesture shows me she is still my Alyssa. Mine, and fuck anyone who thinks they can take her from me. I lay down in bed with her and hold her, whispering to her I promise to fix this. I promise her that no matter what, our tomorrows will always be together.

  It’s been two weeks since I carried Alyssa out of her bedroom in her townhouse and brought her back here. Two weeks and I still have no fucking clue where the fuck Caitlyn is holed up. I’ve had teams of private investigators looking for the bitch. I can’t find a single fucking trace and it’s doing my head in.

  It’s been two weeks since Alyssa has left the penthouse. She puts on a brave front to everyone. She didn’t fight me when I told her she should put in for a couple of weeks leave at work, which tells me she’s not as good as she keeps insisting she is.

  She can pretend to be fine, it’s the way she jumps at loud sounds, the way her hands shake a little, the way she clings to me when she becomes overwhelmed. All these little things that tell me she is not okay at all. She is spooked, she’s angry, and she’s anxious about what’s next.

  Alyssa didn’t get out of bed for two days. She barley ate. She spoke only in answer to a direct question and, even then, would only give two-word answers. On the third day after I brought her home, Sarah turned up having found the photograph of Alyssa's mother. Fortunately, the picture was not damaged, and now lives locked inside the safe in my home office. After she received the picture back, Alyssa’s spirits lifted again, and slowly I saw my sunshine coming back to life.

  Still, her laugh is not as full as it was, her smile not as bright. I didn’t know my heart could hurt so fucking much, but the last two weeks, watching Alyssa struggle and fight with her fear, has fucking wrecked me. I feel useless right now. The only time she seems at total peace and relaxed, are the times when it’s just her and me in the bedroom. Every night, we have been up for hours, me wringing orgasm after orgasm out of her until I wear her out enough that I know she will get some sleep.

  You won’t hear me complaining about that task though, I will happily give my girl whatever release she needs, anywhere, anytime.

  One thing I know for sure is that she is it. She is the girl I see my future with, the one I want to wake up next to every morning. And I will take her any way I can have her. If that means I spend the rest of my life fighting to bring life back, the sunshine and happiness into her eyes, I will. If I have to spend every day proving to her that she is safe with me, that I’m not about to let any motherfucker get their hands on her, then that’s what I’m going to do.

  I’m lying in bed with Alyssa in my arms and I couldn’t think of waking up any other way. It’s Christmas Eve, I have her car in the garage with a huge fucking bow on it. I just have to figure out a way to get her to accept it. I’ve been lying awake for a hours, conjuring up ways to get her to accept the car and accept the question I’m planning to ask her tomorrow morning. But first today, the car.

  Alyssa stirs, slowly opening her eyes. She is the definition of not a morning person. Grumbling she smiles up at me.

  “Morning babe.” She leans in kisses me gently before settling her head on my chest.

  “Morning Sunshine, sleep well?” I ask, kissing the top of her head.

  “Mm-hmm, I always sleep well next to you,” she mumbles back.

  Huh, she’s in a great mood today.

  Rolling her over to her back, I pin her down and kiss her. S
he responds immediately, opening for me. I pull away before I take things any further. A look of disappointment crosses her face as I get up.

  Chuckling, I say, “stay here, I’m going to get your coffee. I’ll be back.”

  Not waiting for her to reply, I make my way out to the kitchen and set up the machine to make her coffee. As I’m walking out of the kitchen Bray walks through the living room.

  “Morning, how is she?” He asks the same thing every morning. He’s been sleeping here for the last two weeks, around to help with whatever I needed, without question.

  “She’s good,” I tell him and can’t help the smile that appears on my face. Because for the first time in two weeks, I actually feel like it’s the truth.

  “That’s good, bro. I’m taking Ella last minute shopping today. Apparently, there is more shit she needs to get. Call if you need anything,” he says as he walks into the kitchen.

  “Thanks man,” I call after him.

  Walking back into the bedroom I’m greeted with the sight of Alyssa sitting up in my bed smiling at me. Maybe it’s the coffee she’s smiling at, but I’ll take it.

  Holding her hands out she says, “give me, give me, give me.”

  Laughing, I hand over her vanilla latte. I watch as she takes a sip and her face morphs into an expression of pure bliss as a moan escapes her. Dammit, I want to be the reason for those moans. I want to hear her screaming out my name in ecstasy. Reaching down and re-adjusting myself not so subtly, I see her smirk over at my discomfort.

  Tilting her head, she says, “so that does still work, I take it?” pointing at my crotch region.

  Oh, she did not just say that. Hell no. Does she think it wasn’t working?

  “Sunshine, my cock has never not worked. Why the fuck would you think it was broken?” I ask her, mortified that she’s questioning my manhood.

  “For the last fourteen days, I’ve woken up to that being buried deep inside of me. I thought maybe you had a little problem or something this morning?” she shrugs.

  Is she fucking kidding me right now? I look around the room in search of the hidden cameras, not seeing any.

  “Babe, I tore myself away from you this morning because I didn’t want to get caught up in bed all day, it’s Christmas Eve and we have shit to do today. It has absolutely nothing to do with my manhood not working.”

  “Oh, okay,” she says like that’s the end of this conversation.

  Ah, hell no. Crawling up the bed, I straddle her legs.

  “I’m more than happy to show you just how not broken he is. Name the place and time and I’m there,” I tell her, leaving the ball in her court.

  She looks from me to her cup of coffee back and forth like she’s trying to decide. Please god, do not let me lose out to a fucking cup of coffee right now. Finally, she sets the cup down on the table, reaches up and pulls my face down to hers, slamming our lips together.

  Home. That’s what this kiss feels like, it feels like returning home after a long absence.

  “How about right now?” she asks, raising her eyebrow.

  Well, she doesn’t have to ask me twice. I do however look carefully at her face, reading her expression.

  “Are you sure?” I ask.

  “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” she says.

  I make quick work of removing her shirt, well my shirt she’s been sleeping in. Cupping her breast in my hands, I lean down taking a nipple in my mouth, I audibly groan.

  “Mmm, I missed these beauties,” I say as I show the other breast just how much I missed it by sucking, nibbling and biting at it.

  Alyssa laughs, “it’s only been four hours since you last saw them.”

  Looking up at her, I respond, “babe, ten minutes without seeing these beauties is ten minutes too fucking long.”

  Tilting my head back down, I get back to work worshiping the fuck out of her breasts.

  Alyssa is making the most beautiful sounds, moaning, shivering and squirming beneath me.

  “I’d love to take this slow babe, but I can’t hold out. I need to be inside of you now, it will be rough and quick. But I swear I’ll make it up to you later.”

  Holding the sides of her lace panties in between my hands, I rip, tearing them from her body. She gasps and arches her body while I trail my finger in between the lips of her pussy, making sure she is ready for me. I’m pleased as fuck to find her pussy wet and weeping for me.

  “Look how wet you are, sunshine. Is this pussy starving for my cock? Has she missed him?”

  I feel a gush of wetness escape her as she takes in my dirty words. I settle between her legs, line my cock up to her entrance.

  “Ready?” I ask her.

  “Oh god, Zac. Hurry up already and put that in me!” she exclaims.

  Slamming into her, I still. Fuck. I’m really not going to last long. This feels too fucking good. I move slowly, thrusting in and out in careful, precise slow motions. It’s not helping, I can feel my orgasm building. Reaching between our bodies, I rub my finger in circles around her clit

  “I need you to come for me, sunshine. Come now!” I demand.

  She doesn’t disappoint. She comes hard, screaming out my name. Her pussy clamps down around my cock, milking me for all that I have to give. Falling onto the bed next to her, I pull her into my arms. We’re both a sweaty mess, both breathing heavily, sucking in air, attempting to catch our breaths.

  Alyssa’s breathing slows, her body relaxing into mine. “You okay?” I ask her.

  “Mhmm, never been better. God, I love when we do that.”

  “Yep, you and me both babe, but what I love most is this, just laying holding onto my girl with a feeling of bliss.”

  “Zac.” Alyssa’s voice is quiet, she tilts her head up so she looks at me.

  “Yeah, babe?”

  She’s pensive for a while before speaking again. “I know I haven’t been the easiest person to live with these past few weeks. But I want you to know that I’m really trying.”

  Her voice breaks a little, I’m about to say something when she continues, “I am trying. But the images, they keep playing on my mind. I’m not scared of her, you know, Caitlyn. I’m scared that she will succeed. That you are going to finally have had enough and leave me. I don’t know if I can survive that kind of loss, you know?”

  “Sunshine, there is nothing anybody, and I mean fucking anybody, can do to make me leave you. I will stay in this apartment for as long as you need me to be with you. Until you’re ready to go back out to the world. Until then, I’m happy staying here with you.” Kissing the top of her head, I continue, “always have tomorrow together, right?”

  I don’t know how else to reassure her I’m not going anywhere. Hopefully, tomorrow she will get the picture that I’m in this forever.

  “Always,” she whispers. “It’s not just the Caitlyn stuff. It’s the holidays.”

  “What about the holidays?” I ask her.

  “Well, I’ve never really had a good relationship with Christmas before. I’ve never had a family to celebrate with, to exchange gifts with. I mean, ever since I met Sarah in college, she has taken me home to her family every Christmas. But it’s not the same, I’ve always just felt like an outsider.”

  Shit, why did I not think of this before? Of course she hasn’t had a real fucking Christmas. “Well, you have a family now. And you just might question the sanity of the family you’ve joined when tomorrow morning you’re woken to the screams of Bray carrying on like a child. Because I can promise you that is exactly what’s going to happen.”

  She lets a small giggle escape. Good, if Bray being his usual idiot self will get a laugh out of her, then I’ll make sure he amps it up more than usual tomorrow.

  “Thank you. For everything, for being you. For not leaving me alone the last few weeks.” She leans up and kisses me. I need to get her back to a better mood, back to happier thoughts.

  “So, it’s Christmas Eve babe. I’ve got an early Christmas present
for you.”

  She sits up, eyes wide and then they turn watery. Shit, I fucked up. What the fuck did I say?

  “What’s wrong?” I ask as I rub her arms.

  “Your present, I didn’t get to make your present the way I wanted to, I mean, I got part of it done that day you went into the club and Sarah and her friend came over. But it’s not very good, and it’s not what I wanted to give you,” she says with tears running down her face. “I, I don’t have anything else to give you.”

  That’s what she’s upset about? Jesus.

  “Babe, the only thing I need from you, is you. If you want to gift me something, I have an idea of what you can give me.” An idea starts to build in my head.

  “What is it? Anything, I will do my best to get it today,” she says eagerly.

  I laugh and get up before she can reach and slap me. “Your gift to me will be your acceptance of any and all gifts I give you over the next two days, without argument.” I raise my eyebrows at her, waiting for her to respond.

  She stands up, completely naked as she saunters over to me. Leaning up, she kisses me on the lips. “Okay, but—”

  Before she can add a but, I place a finger over her lips stopping her sentence. “No buts, all I want to hear is thanks Zac, or yes. Now get dressed, I need to take you downstairs to give you your first gift.”

  Heading into the walk-in wardrobe, which I have now designated half the space for Alyssa’s things. Not that she has a whole lot yet, but that’s about to change tomorrow when she wakes up to see it full.

  I had Reilly sworn to secrecy and handed over my credit card to her to replace all of Alyssa’s clothing, shoes, and bags that were destroyed. Not that Reilly complained one bit about doing that shopping. I’ve seen the bank statements from her shopping trips, I know she hasn’t skimped out. She’s going to be in here tonight to set it all up with Holly and Sarah. I just have to keep Alyssa occupied in the home gym.

  Alyssa comes out of the bathroom and I swear every time I see her she takes my breath away. Even now, she’s wearing yoga pants and one of my shirts, but she still steals my breath with how beautiful she is.