Circle of Doubt

by Buchanan, Tracy

  ‘He’s lying. He hit Jade too – her mum told me. You must leave him.’

  ‘But I have nothing without him,’ Tatjana said in a voice barely above a whisper. ‘I’ve let my business wind down really. My dad’s business is struggling, so it’s not like he can help any more. The only money I have access to now is Lawrence’s money.’

  ‘You’ll find a way. You’re strong, remember? The Design Divas class is amazing. All the kids love it. You can do more of those!’

  Hope flared in Tatjana’s eyes, then she frowned. ‘Why are you being so nice? I’ve been horrible to you.’

  ‘You’ve told the truth. That’s all I wanted. And now all I want is for Isla to stay with Dele, even if I do end up going to prison. Lawrence will not get Isla!’

  Tatjana looked down at her hands, which were curled into fists in her lap. ‘He’s so convinced he will, though. He honestly thinks with the right amount of money, anything is possible. Two solicitors have told him how unlikely it is with his violent past, but he just won’t listen.’ She lifted her eyes to Emma again. ‘He went to London right after Isla’s party to meet with a new solicitor, one who’ll no doubt be charging a ridiculous amount.’ She shook her head. ‘My father did this to him, made him think that money can buy absolutely anything. Like hiring that private investigator and getting all that stuff about your sister. That was the final straw for me, when he said he was using that against you. I just didn’t want to be involved. I did try to convince him, you know. I said it was unfair, that you’re a good mother and that’s in the past – but he got angry.’ Her fingers flickered up to her bruise. ‘I did try,’ she whispered. ‘There’s nothing else I can do.’

  ‘There is! I – I know I’ll probably lose Isla.’ As Emma said that, the reality of it hit her again. She clenched her jaw to stop herself from crying. ‘What’s important now is we have to stop Lawrence getting custody of Isla.’

  ‘But how?’ Tatjana asked.

  Emma gestured to the bruise on Tatjana’s cheek. ‘You need to go to the police about this.’

  Tatjana shrank away from Emma, shaking her head. ‘No. I can’t go to the police, I can’t do that to the boys. I can’t have them thinking their father is a monster.’

  ‘He is a monster!’ Emma said, her voice echoing around the car. ‘What else is a man who does this to his wife? And God knows what’s happened to Jade – you know she’s missing, don’t you? I thought that was because she was you, assuming a new identity. But now I know she isn’t, what the hell happened to her?’

  She thought of how Evie had been convinced that Lawrence had murdered someone.

  Could he be behind Jade’s disappearance?

  ‘You have to go to the police, Tatjana,’ Emma said, more desperate than ever now. ‘For the boys. For Isla.’

  Tatjana was quiet for a long time, then she nodded her head. ‘Okay.’

  A few minutes later Emma drove away from the big house in the woods, watching in the wing mirror as Tatjana ran inside through the rain. She’d promised Emma she was going to get out that night while Lawrence was away. Emma was pleased. She didn’t want Tatjana to suffer for all this. Plus with Tatjana on her side, giving evidence against Lawrence – if she did in the end – it would surely mean he would have no chance of getting custody of Isla, no matter how much he paid some London solicitor.

  As she drew up to her house, the storm was at full throttle, leaves swirling around the rain-drenched roads, wheelie bins toppling over.

  She let herself in, then stopped, frowning.

  All the lights were on.

  ‘Hello?’ she called out, quietly in case Isla was still sleeping.

  Dele ran out from the living room, his face full of panic. ‘I’ve been trying to call you!’ He peered behind Emma. ‘Where is she?’

  ‘Where’s who?’

  ‘Isla!’

  Emma’s skin went clammy. ‘She’s not with me. What the hell is going on, Dele?’

  ‘Jesus!’ He raked his hands through his hair. ‘We fell asleep. I woke up, she wasn’t with me. I checked her room, then I came down, neither of you were here, so I – I just thought you’d gone out for some reason.’

  ‘Oh God,’ Emma said as she noticed a broken window in the kitchen. ‘Lawrence has taken her!’

  Chapter Forty-One

  Welcome to the Mums of Forest Grove Facebook Group

  Saturday 21st November

  10.40 p.m.

  Malorie Cane

  The police just came into the pub. They’re searching for little Isla Okoro! She’s gone missing from her house. They seemed incredibly worried. Vanessa, you live next to them, any news?

  Vanessa Shillingford

  Yes, I can confirm Isla is missing. My husband and boys are out helping Dele and Emma search for her, I’m at the house with the police in case she comes back, but to be honest, I don’t think this is a case of her running away. There’s a broken window in their kitchen.

  Lucy Cronin

  Oh God, has someone taken her? I can’t believe she’s out there in these weather conditions! I’ll get Fraser to go and help with the search. They need to get the police helicopter out!

  Rebecca Feine

  They have, judging from the helicopter that just flew over my house! This is awful, I’m going to go out with the dogs.

  Belinda Bell

  Me too. Did Dele check the garden? Or the toilets?

  Rebecca Feine

  Erm, yes, I think he would have done all that, Belinda.

  Malorie Cane

  I told the police they must make sure they check CCTV! And do a search of the forest. They’ll need to take torches, it’s very dark out there.

  Vanessa Shillingford

  I think the police will be on the case with the torches, Malorie. So worried for little Isla. Such a lovely girl. Emma and Dele must be beside themselves. Gavin is going out in his car now, did the police mention any particular area we should search?

  Myra Young

  I just had an officer knock at the door. They asked me if I’d seen Lawrence, which seems a strange thing to ask.

  Belinda Bell

  Well then there’s our answer. The man has abducted her!

  Ellie Mileham

  We shouldn’t rush to conclusions.

  Belinda Bell

  Really? I knew they’d be trouble the moment they moved in.

  Kitty Fletcher

  I quite agree with Belinda. I always knew something wasn’t right about them, Lawrence in particular. From the moment I saw that crane in the middle of the woods followed by the Belafontes flouncing around the village with their designer clothes and those obscene cars of theirs – I mean, really, who needs a car the size of a lorry to drive around a little village like ours? I just knew they’d be trouble!

  Ellie Mileham

  You’ve changed your tune, Kitty! Last week Lawrence and Tatjana were the best things that ever happened to Forest Grove and Emma Okoro was the worst.

  Kitty Fletcher

  Things come to light, don’t they? Right, I’m going out to check my garden, you never know, there are a lot of hiding places in there. Stay safe everyone!

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Saturday 21st November

  10.45 p.m.

  Emma’s windscreen wipers splashed manically, going back and forth to clear the rain and the splatter of leaves from her windscreen as she scoured the streets for Isla and Lawrence. She was taking the east of the village while Dele took the west. She could already see lots of villagers out, their torchlight bouncing against the flooded roads. Police, too, with their helicopter above and the glimmer of their blue lights in the distance. They’d suggested Emma and Dele stay in the house in case Isla returned, but she knew Lawrence wouldn’t bring her back, so it was up to them to get her back.

  Emma just had to hope Lawrence hadn’t got too far with Isla. The main road had already been blocked, so all that left was the village and the surrounding area.

  ‘You will not
take my daughter, Lawrence!’ she shouted out loud, her voice echoing around the car.

  ‘No, because you will not let him.’ She turned to see Harriet sitting beside her, eyes scouring the darkness, too. ‘Think, Emma, think. Where would he take Isla if he can’t get out of the village?’

  Emma took a moment to mull it over. ‘He isn’t at their house, the police checked.’

  ‘Then where else?’

  That was when it came to her: Tatjana had talked about a swing Lawrence wanted to take Isla to.

  He wouldn’t even let the boys go on the red swing. He said that was for Isla.

  Emma slammed on her brakes, turned the car around, its tyres screeching on the wet leaf-slimed road, then headed towards the closest entrance into the forest.

  She turned down the forest track, tyres bumping along as the trees thrashed above her.

  The hedgehog playpark appeared in the distance. She parked in the small car park, then darted out into the rain, her jumper and jeans getting soaked through, her red hair clinging to her face. As she ran into the forest she nearly slipped but managed to stop herself, grabbing on to a nearby branch.

  Above Emma, the trees creaked, the dark skies ominous.

  Isla will be so scared, Emma thought. So confused and scared.

  That thought made her run even faster until the park came into view.

  It was all made of wood apart from the silver of the slide and the stark red swing beneath a solitary street light.

  As Emma drew closer, she realised she was right. There was Isla, wrapped in Lawrence’s thick blue raincoat as he pushed her back and forth on the swing.

  Emma stayed where she was for a moment, hidden from view as she caught her breath.

  She had to approach this carefully.

  She got her phone out and quickly typed a message to Dele: He’s at the hedgehog park. Am here. Tell police.

  Then she stepped out from the shadows.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Saturday 21st November

  11 p.m.

  I understand this is difficult for you, Isla. But I wish you wouldn’t cry so much! It’s making a challenging situation even worse. It wasn’t meant to happen like this, me breaking into your house and snatching you away. I know how terrifying that was, my love, to hear your name called, then see me in the darkness staring down at you!

  But I have run out of options.

  The solicitor I spoke to emailed me while I was watching your house to tell me he couldn’t take me on, despite how enthusiastic he’d seemed when we met for an early dinner. There was no point, he said, it would be impossible for me to get you back with my history.

  And then Tatjana left me a message. She has left me, taken my beautiful boys!

  Oh please stop sobbing, Isla. I told you I’m your father. Your real father!

  But then girls can be like this, can’t they? Not quite as robust as boys.

  That’s fine, I can get used to it.

  ‘Don’t worry, we’ll be back in my car soon,’ I say as I push you back and forth on the swing. ‘Back in the warmth, all dry and snug. Just need to wait a few more minutes.’ I look at my watch, stifling my frustration. ‘Then the world’s our oyster! You can look at a map and choose where you want us to go. Your choice, a hundred per cent. Isn’t that exciting? We can have the most wonderful adventure.’

  ‘I don’t want to go anywhere!’ you shout. ‘I want my mum!’

  ‘Well, darling,’ I say, trying to control my temper, ‘your mummy – your real mummy – isn’t here right now.’

  ‘My mummy is my real mummy!’ you sob. ‘I want her and Daddy. Please.’

  You try to get off the swing, but I hold you down.

  Not hard, just firm.

  You flinch away from me and I can’t tell you how much that hurts, Isla. I tuck a strand of your hair beneath the hood of my coat. ‘I know this all feels very strange now, but you will understand one day,’ I say in as soothing a voice as I can. ‘I didn’t even know about you, can you believe that?’ I laugh, shaking my head. I know I’m crying, but that’s fine, you need to see your father has feelings, that I care. ‘Your mother didn’t tell me about you, she just gave birth to you then gave you away.’

  ‘Because she loved me!’

  I laugh. ‘That isn’t love, giving your child away!’

  ‘Mum and Dad say it is, that it’s proper love.’

  I think about it. ‘You know, maybe they’re right. That’s why Emma and Dele are giving you to me, your real daddy. Because they love you!’

  ‘No, you’re lying! They wouldn’t do that!’

  You wriggle to get free so I hold your shoulder even harder. You yelp and it breaks my heart.

  ‘Stay. Still,’ I say. ‘Then I won’t have to hurt you, Isla!’

  You turn your face up to mine, your brown eyes so like Jade’s, full of fear.

  Then you turn away from me, your face lighting up.

  ‘Mum!’ you cry out.

  I turn to see your fake mother appear from the trees. She goes to run towards us, but I put out my hand.

  ‘Stop right there, Emma, or you’ll regret it!’ I shout.

  My other hand tightens on your shoulder and you whimper.

  Just a little pain to get us through this, Isla. Then nothing but love.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Saturday 21st November

  11.05 p.m.

  Emma came to a stop and looked at Isla, giving her a shaky smile.

  ‘Mum’s here now,’ she said. ‘Everything will be fine, do you understand?’

  Isla nodded, her lips trembling. The sight of her daughter looking like that – wet, sobbing, terrified – made Emma want to sob herself.

  But she had to be strong.

  ‘Just look at me,’ she continued. ‘Look right at me. Dad will be here soon – and the police, too.’

  Isla blinked, then nodded again.

  Emma’s heart went out to her. She is such a brave girl.

  Emma looked at Lawrence. He was wearing trousers and a white shirt that was soaked through, his blond hair plastered to his head. His eyes were wild.

  ‘It’s over, Lawrence,’ Emma said to him, taking one small step forwards. ‘You won’t be taking her from us.’

  ‘We were just having an interesting conversation, weren’t we darling?’ Lawrence said, smiling down at Isla.

  Isla frowned, her eyes still on Emma.

  ‘She’s very clever, my little girl,’ he continued. ‘She was telling me how true love means letting a child go, like Jade did. Like you should.’

  ‘I will never let her go. I’m her real mother,’ Emma said firmly.

  Lawrence laughed bitterly. Behind him, there was the sound of creaking. He peered over his shoulder towards the tallest tree, which was swaying haphazardly. He turned back to Emma.

  ‘Mother?’ he said. ‘You call yourself a mother? A good mother doesn’t spend most of her time working. A good mother doesn’t palm her child off on other people. A good mother doesn’t forget important things. A good mother—’

  ‘Mum’s the best mum ever!’ Isla shouted, her voice echoing around the clearing, so loud Emma could hear it through the rain.

  Emma smiled, tears filling her eyes.

  ‘I am a good mother,’ she said. She took another step forward. ‘No, I am a great mother. Everything I do, I do for Isla. Everything Jade did, she did for Isla. Trying to get away from you, her abusive boyfriend – something Tatjana’s doing right now, too,’ Emma continued, still approaching. ‘All good mothers doing what they can to ensure their children are nowhere near a monster like you.’

  Lawrence’s mouth dropped open and Emma took the chance to dart forward. But he pulled Isla off the swing, squeezing her close to him as he backed away. He didn’t seem to notice as Isla pummelled his chest with her little fists.

  Then he turned on his heel and ran into the forest. Isla screamed for Emma, her hand reaching out towards her mother as Lawrence headed right in the d
irection of the swaying tree.

  ‘Lawrence, no!’ a voice shouted out.

  He paused, turning around. Emma followed his gaze to see a familiar figure behind her. At first she thought it was Tatjana – but then she realised who it really was.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Saturday 21st November

  11.10 p.m.

  Jade? My Jade!

  She looks so beautiful. She always was, but the drugs, they diminished that beauty. Not now, though. Now her skin radiates, her black hair long and braided.

  She is everything she was supposed to be. And now she is here, just as we agreed, to make the family we were always supposed to make.

  I’d lost hope after she stopped replying to my text messages and answering my calls. Garratt managed to track her down to Brighton a couple of weeks ago. Jade Fisher is her new name, married to some hippy and living with him in a tiny little shack near the beach. I can’t grumble too much about him. He’s the one who got her off the drugs when she booked herself into a rehab centre in Thailand five years ago. Holistic healer, he calls himself on his website. A website Jade designed.

  Yes, she’s a web designer. She has a career, she’s kicked the drugs, she’s the mother you deserve, Isla!

  And as I look at her now, I realise she really is my one true love. The fact she’s here must mean she feels the same about me and is not happy with her husband. When I messaged her earlier about my plan to take you, I knew I was taking a risk. It helped when I added if she should go to the police or your fake parents about it, I’d take you somewhere she would never find you. She replied straight away, saying she was travelling to Forest Grove anyway after reading my message the night before (I admit, I got drunk and sent her a rather long rambling message).

  And she kept her word, because she is here!

  She walks past Emma and approaches me, a smile on her face.

  ‘You came!’ I said as I walk towards her with you still struggling in my arms. ‘See, I told you she was on her way, Isla!’

  Jade’s eyes settle on you, and the pain is clear to see. It must still hurt so much to have given her daughter away and to have lied to me. But we forgive her now, don’t we, Isla?