Roots and Tendrils
Page 3
You murmur and turn in closer to me.
My entire left side against your right.
My emotional heart space all aflutter.
I stop my ruminating, take a deeper breath, and drift off as the sun beams illuminate your bed.
As I drift peacefully into a dream, my vibrations are humming.
I know that soon enough you will stir, awaken me, our lips will meet and we will say Good Morning.
For that, I am already grateful.
Nothing Matters More Than Love
Is there anything that matters more than love? I believe we often pretend that there are things or ideas that matter more than love. We are given gifts from the universe to rip down the veil of these false ideals. Love will do anything to find you and reach into the depths of your being until you can feel and see that nothing else truly matters. There is nothing that matters more than love.
As you rise on this new day, your neural pathways tingle with an awakening. You search for a label to attach to the energy waves and information that pulses through your body. While these waves wash through you, you attempt to look at them through a conceptual lens. This lens does not focus the way you want it to, for what you really seek is a portal through which you can experience the aliveness that is waking within you, a portal that leads you to the doorway of your heart. For once that door has opened, there is no turning back.
If you walk through that door, you can no longer attach to the feelings of sadness, grief, anger or heartbreak. For what are they really? They are mere representations of fear. Nothing exists in our minds except fear and love. When the door to love has fully opened, fear steps aside. Fear can no longer survive in this environment. The air and darkness that fear thrives upon are stripped away and it vanishes deep into the shadows of who we once were.
Love delivers you an invitation of the grandest kind. Love shows you what you can become as it moves through all of your senses, all of your stored memories, every cell in your being and all that you uniquely encompass. This place that love shows you is sacred and wild within you. It is wild with untamed lands yet to be discovered. It is the light that pierces the darkness of your shadows.
A creative stirring now ripples through you. It ripples and creates waves on the ground that you once held your feet firm upon. You try to label this stirring. What you try to label has never appeared before. It is the divine intelligence of the universe hurtling out of the cosmos to stir the stardust of your soul, requesting your presence within the collective consciousness of the universe.
Step back from the story and bask in the awakening of your inner sacredness. Don’t try to name this evolution of your inner being. Take hold of the vulnerability that is presented before you; the vulnerability to accept and love the being that you are without any masks, layers or cover-ups. Remember, you only ever long for your own presence in this world, not for something that appears outside of yourself. There is nothing that matters more than the love of your unique self in the vastness of our universe. There is nothing that matters more than love.
Trust and love are hard to come by in any relationship
until you learn to
trust and love yourself.
Solstice
Waves of familiarity rush through me.
What does it mean?
What does any of it mean?
I am not supposed to know…until I do.
The day was filled with thoughts that were deep and consuming,
Often, not my own.
A stream of consciousness flowing as the tap, tap, tap of ice fingers touched my window.
Tap, Tap, Tap.
Tap, Tap, Tap.
Why are you so willing to expose yourself?
Why am I?
Perhaps, we understand this journey to finally be accepted in our naked form?
Did my honesty disarm you?
Or did it just allow you to unlock all on your own?
Wide Open.
It’s the only way to move forward from this self-imposed smothering.
As my head falls into the cradle of soft down,
A chime echoes amongst the tapping.
I read the words delivered as an invitation to explore.
I see and recognize myself in you.
It’s familiar and settling
For the first time,
I will sleep all of the hours-
A Sound Solstice Sleep.
Love Letter
Although you might not know it, I tell you “I love you” almost every day, many times a day. It’s like poetry that pounds in my heart to be heard. I tell you with the flowing of my blood, the vastness of the universe and the simplicity of my breath. My breath, my air, and my voice rejoice in you when I tell you “I love you”.
I remember the first time I felt you near. The ground literally moved, I shifted on my feet as you emerged from shadows into the light. I knew then, my life would be changed forever.
When I tell you “I love you,” what I mean is, I want you, forever. The electro-chemical burn of “us” is undeniable. I love the way you feel, taste, smell and breathe. I love the way your silhouette attracts the moonlight in the dark. I love how you hold yourself, still somewhat shy behind that outer Kevlar shell.
When I tell you “I love you”, I want you to hear that I want to share a life with you- whatever that may look like. I want us to lift each other toward our goals. I want to feel the electric part of your kiss on my soul. I want to fall asleep with you the way that otters do; holding hands so we won’t drift apart.
When I tell you “I love you”, I want you to hear how much I respect you. I respect you for everything you have come through. I respect your drive and your passion for the things and ideals you believe in.
When I tell you “I love you”, I mean that I love who you are. I love your courage to become who you want to be even though you are fearful. I love the broken cracks of you. I love the whole of you. I want you to know that I will stay as long as it takes for you to trust me. I want to hold you tight when your fears arrive and reassure you that everything will be ok.
When I tell you “I love you”, I want you to hear that you are free to be you. I love who you are, as you are. I don’t want to change you. If you decide to change, that is your journey and I will be here to adapt to those changes.
There’s a place that has been carved out in my heart for you. So, when you are ready to show up in my life, there’s a place for you here in my heart.
If I write it here, maybe you will feel it in its most raw form. From my core pours my love and my heart. Do you hear my love beating on the drums? I want to run through the fields to the sound of the pounding. I want you to know this beating inside my chest.
I know I will recognize you when I see you, even though we haven’t met before. We will recognize each other, for you just finished writing the same letter.
A Plea for Holding Heart Space
Many years ago, I lost someone.
He died.
He went away.
He disappeared.
Loss changed the way I share love.
Don’t hold your love away from those you care about,
or from those that love and care about you.
Whether you are withholding love because you are bruised, because you feel uncomfortable, or because you don’t know how to restart, BE BRAVE and fight to hold heart space.
This world is an amazing, beautiful place, and yet often we treat each other cruelly and without intention. We lose sight of each other’s human frailty.
When you hold your heart away, the messages stop, the requests to be a part of your heart cease, the phone stops ringing with hope on the other end that you will answer. The person who loves and cares about you may go away, may disappear.
So, love big, love intensely, love wide open and hold heart space.
Branches
Her arms reach
toward the shining sun
Dropping an acorn now and again
Hoping one will germinate
Into a beautiful strong tree of its own.
She comes from a long line of oaks storing wisdom within
the rings of her trunk.
Her strength is like no other oak tree.
Her branches reach out further than any other.
They reach out to all she holds dear.
She comforts and loves all in her embrace.
She is the mother of all the oak trees that come after her.
She wraps each in a blanket of love as she sends them off into the world
Tall, short, twisted, or majestic,
Her acorns take root and grow as they may-
Each one unique from the other.
Some are strong and propagate other strong oaks to carry on her wisdom
Some develop disease and perish.
Some do not receive the sun’s warmth delaying growth and losing memory of the ancestors and their place in the line of oaks before them.
The last few years have cast shadow on the mother of all oak trees.
Her branches dry and brittle, fewer leaves greet each passing season
Her trunk may bend, but she is the symbol of strength, nobility and knowledge that all of her acorns hope to grow into from underneath
her loving branches.
When we keep our hearts CLOSED, we become brittle and break easily. When we OPEN our hearts, we become soft and are able to BEND to all that life brings.
Acknowledgements
To my family and friends who have been the constant cheerleaders throughout this process. Thank you for believing in me. Your love and belief have helped make this possible.
To Kate Spencer, who first published my Brave Enough To Love Me affirmation in her book, 2018 Twelve Lessons Journal.
To my editor, Crystal Roy, thank you for your vision and guidance throughout this process. Your understanding of my heart made these pieces come to life. I am forever grateful for your participation and friendship. Thank you for helping me share my voice and structure it in a way that it tells of the journey a heart can take at any given moment.
To my mother and father who understood my silence as a child and cultivated it into the voice that I hear within. They reminded me that feelings and words don’t have to be spoken to be felt and heard. Their quiet, gentle guidance has always been ever-present.
Thank you to the universe for providing me with many muses. Thank you for allowing me to be aware enough of the significance of their presence.
To the many people who inspire me on a daily basis. I am amazed at your stories, your perseverance, your fearlessness, your fortitude, your strength, your vulnerability and your bravery. Keep shining your light, heart warriors.
About the Author
Heidi Dellaire, BA, LMT, RAP, is an alternative health care practitioner, massage therapist, heart space coach and social entrepreneur. She is the founder and CEO of LoveWideOpen.com, a website for self-development centered around heart space healing and learning. Several of Heidi’s poems have been published within articles at LoveWideOpen.com. Love Wide Open is a registered trademark. Heidi delivers a daily inspirational message to over 3 million souls on her Love Wide Open social media platforms and website. She is a lover of nature and finds her inspiration from the ocean or within the mountains. She lives in Maine, a place that will always be home to her heart.
Connect with author Heidi Dellaire at:
LoveWideOpen.com
HeidiDellaire.com
facebook.com/lovewideopen
facebook.com/heididellaireofficial
youtube.com/lovewideopen
instagram.com/lovewideopen
twitter.com/lovewideopen