Five First Dates

by Erin McCarthy

  “Emphasis on youth, hmm.” She glanced at Sullivan, who was sitting next to her, chewing on a stuffed animal. “That makes sense for Brooklyn. It’s a cool opportunity. Are you nervous about being on camera?”

  My whole life I felt like I’d been scrutinized. I shrugged. “No. That doesn’t bother me. I think I’m going to have a harder time having to pretend to be pissed at people when they give us fake tension scenes. It’s not my personality. But I really want this to work out, so I’ll do whatever I have to.”

  “Request you be the flirt instead of the angry guy, then,” she said. “Since you claim to be so good at it.”

  I gave her a smile. “I am charming as hell.”

  Savannah rolled her eyes. “What you are is hot. Girls are automatically going to respond to that.”

  Interesting. Hot, huh? I’d take that. Guess I wasn’t so much a little brother to her, after all. That particular comment had annoyed me. I didn’t appreciate anyone implying I was immature.

  I’d never been immature. At five I’d been getting myself up with an alarm for kindergarten while my mother slept in after working late. My babysitter at night had been a woman who had been very sweet, but eighty-five years old. I’d fed, bathed, and entertained myself. As a teenager, I’d become a chauffeur and babysitter to four siblings. And I didn’t resent one single thing about any of it. I was proud of my mother and me. I loved her and my siblings with all my fucking heart.

  But don’t tell me I’m a kid, and don’t tell me how I feel.

  Those were my two buttons and Savannah had inadvertently pushed one.

  “So you think I’m hot? And here I thought you said I’m barely out of high school,” I said. Then I gave her a smile so she wouldn’t see how serious I was about that. “Doesn’t matter what the show wants. I can only be me. They’ll either be cool with it or not.”

  “It’s a huge opportunity for you, though. You’ll get exposure and future clients. You should play whatever character they want you to.”

  I stabbed a piece of romaine lettuce. “I’m going to try, but I’m not really that guy. It’s going to be a challenge for me. I believe in being straightforward.”

  “What is your end goal? Are you hoping they’ll pick up the show and you’ll move here permanently?”

  I shook my head. “I think the odds of that are small, but I guess it is a possibility. That would be amazing, obviously, but I want to be realistic. My thought was more that after the episodes air, people will recognize me as an artist and trust me. My plan is to take the money from the show and open my own shop in Stroudsburg. I want to be close to my family and I would prefer to run my own business.”

  “That sounds like a great plan. But if you wind up on the show for a few years, we’re only ninety minutes from your family. It would be easy to see them. How old are all your siblings now?”

  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and found a picture. It was me and the kids standing in front of Mike’s shop. “This was right before I left.” I pointed to my sister to the right of me. “Bianca is eleven now. She’s a great student, changes her hair color weekly, and looks so much like my mom it’s freaky.”

  “Definitely a cool girl,” Savannah said, nodding. “Arms folded, head tilted, purple hair. She knows who she is.”

  “That is very accurate. This is Lillian.” I tapped the screen to my sister, who was draped across my back, leaning on my shoulder, her hair covering half of her face. “She’s ten. The most like me. Quiet, serious. Then this is my sister Kyle. My parents took a detour on the feminine names. I think they were thinking she’d be the last kid.” Kyle was flashing deuces, legs apart, pretending to be tough. “She’s eight. Then this little punk is Sebastian. He’s six and fearless. It will be a miracle if they can keep him alive.”

  Savannah laughed. “Don’t tell me that. That’s my fear as a boy mom. That Sully will be more than I can handle. I wasn’t a daring kid.”

  “Sully will probably be more chill. Sebastian is the youngest of five kids. He’s fucking wild. It was a given.”

  “I like his Mohawk,” she said. “And I see he has temporary tattoos.” She pointed to my brother with his fists out, BAD BOI written on his knuckles.

  I shook my head, laughing. “Bianca got hold of a Sharpie and did that. My mother was not thrilled.”

  Savannah was watching me, no longer looking at the photo. I closed my photos and turned to meet her gaze. “What?”

  “I was just thinking that Sully is probably going to have a childhood like yours. An only child for years, then suddenly siblings. It’s good to see how much you love your brother and sisters.”

  I didn’t want to think about Savannah marrying some future guy. “You have no idea what is in store for you,” I told her. “You could be married in six months.”

  She laughed, pushing chicken around on her plate. “That sounds ridiculous. Wonderful, but ridiculous.”

  “Wonderful?” I asked, my eyebrows shooting up. That was an interesting word choice.

  “I like relationships,” she said, her cheeks turning pink. Her fair complexion made it easy for her to blush. “I want to be married. I want to have inside jokes and Sunday morning snuggles and date nights. I know that’s not a popular viewpoint to have now but it’s true.”

  “I think there are a lot of people who want to be married.” Me included. I’d never be the fall-on-a-different-woman-every-night guy. I wanted what my mom and Mike had, not the endless dates and lousy relationships my mother had before that. “Nothing wrong with knowing yourself.”

  “But I suck at choosing men. I fall for the lines, for the pretty face, for the promises. Every time. And they’re always not very nice men.”

  “Is that what happened with Sully’s father?” I asked, figuring it was as good of an opening as any.

  She nodded and looked over at her son. “He said he wanted a serious relationship but I think he was just telling me what I wanted to hear. He was not happy about the pregnancy.”

  Reaching across the table, I covered Savannah’s hand with my own. “His loss. Not yours.”

  “Sully’s loss too.”

  That pissed me off on her behalf and the kid’s and made me thread my fingers through hers to squeeze her hand. “No. Sully’s gain. Nothing good comes out of having an asshole for a father popping in and out of his life. I don’t know my biological father, and trust me, from what I’ve heard, it’s better that way. No anger, no bad memories, no waiting for a dad to show up that never did. If a man doesn’t want to be a father, good riddance.”

  She gave me a soft smile. “Thanks, Maddy. I mean Maddox. Sorry. I didn’t mean to get so melancholy or tell you my sob story.”

  “You’ve got a lot going on and you’re a great mom. Bottom line.”

  “Maybe I need an arranged marriage,” she joked. “Let someone else pick a man for me. They couldn’t do any worse than I have.”

  Interesting information. I wasn’t sure if it was going to aid my cause in any way, but I thought it couldn’t hurt it. “Maybe you just need to trust your gut more.”

  Or maybe she needed me to arrange a marriage for her.

  To me.

  Chapter Three

  I stared down at Maddox’s hand entwined with mine. It was a strong hand, callused and covered in tattoos. It looked like brambles had wrapped themselves around his fingers. It was elaborate and beautiful, though dark.

  “Did that hurt?” I asked, tapping my thumb onto his hand, both curious and to change the subject. I eased my hand out from his. I’d gotten a little too revealing with Maddox. What guy wants to listen to a woman talk about her romantic failures? I’d made myself sound totally thirsty for a man and that was a little embarrassing.

  Maddox gave me a slow smile. “What’s a little pain in the pursuit of pleasure? It’s clearly not intolerable or I wouldn’t keep doing it.”

  That basically summed up my dating life. “I’d like to see your portfolio sometime.”

  “Sure. But wha
t about you? Aside from this guy, what’s new? How’s work going?”

  I glanced over at Sully, giving him a smile. “It’s good, honestly. I’m really fortunate I can work at home, though I have to admit I’m a little behind right now. It’s hard to be posting videos about looking cute for a trip to Barcelona when I’m sitting in my apartment in Brooklyn in yoga pants.”

  “How does that work? Does the site give you assignments or is it more freelance?”

  I’d been at Snap, a lifestyle and fashion site and video channel, for almost three years. “I have standard features that are expected to be turned in on certain days of the month, but there are also articles or topics that are assigned to me. I used to go into the office a couple of days a week, because I loved the energy and vibe of being with my co-workers, but now with Sully it’s perfect to be able to work at home.”

  “So how can I help you, make life easier while I’m here? You’re doing me a huge favor letting me invade your space and crash on your couch. What do you need from me?”

  More than I’d initially thought. Sex immediately came to mind and I was shocked and annoyed with myself. “You’re doing me a favor too, you know. It’s mutually beneficial.”

  Maddox took a sip of water. “Call it what you want but use me, Savannah. Seriously. That’s what I’m here for.”

  Use him. Oh, I’d like to use him all right. I swallowed, hard. My cheeks felt hot. But I was determined to read nothing into that. I didn’t think he’d meant it as an innuendo. His face looked too casual.

  “I’ll show you around the apartment and go over with Sully’s routine with you. Mostly I just need backup after work and maybe a night or two a week for the chance to escape the apartment by myself.”

  He nodded. “I can handle that.”

  I bit my lip sheepishly. “Any chance you can watch Sully tonight?” I asked. “My girlfriends are all meeting up for a drink. It wouldn’t be long, I swear.”

  “Of course.”

  Maddox didn’t look offended or annoyed. He looked very neutral.

  But I instantly felt guilty. “But you just got here and I feel like I’m already taking advantage of you.”

  He shook his head. “No, you’re not. That’s what I’m here for, to watch Sully. Go and have fun. We’ll be fine, I promise. A little guy time, hanging out, watching Thursday night football. Are you going into the city or staying in Brooklyn?”

  “Brooklyn. My friend Leah complained but I told her I couldn’t go out unless we stayed close to my apartment. She grumbled, but agreed.”

  “Perfect.” Maddox rose from the table and took both my plate and his and headed to the kitchen. “Will Sully take a bottle if he gets hungry?”

  “Yes. There’s milk in the fridge.” I stood up and lifted Sully onto my hip. It was really, freaking nice to have help for a change. “Thanks, Maddy.”

  He glanced back, expression unreadable. “My pleasure.”

  His voice was like fingers stroking over my body. Yep. It was definitely time to have my girlfriends help with Operation Four First Dates.

  They were going to love saving me from myself.

  * * *

  “How is the manny?” my friend Leah asked me as she flagged down the waitress. Leah had the glow of a woman recently in love and it was adorable.

  She and Grant Caldwell were super new, but she was head over heels for him, and he was even more so for her. The man was giving up a penthouse apartment to live with her. After a whirlwind romance, they were now engaged. Could it get any more romantic? I don’t think so. Hashtag nope.

  Wishing desperately I could order a glass of wine, I eyed each of my best friends at the round table with enough of a pause to create the drama I wanted. Current events needed to be dissected and it would be fantastic to have a crisp chardonnay but nursing made that impossible.

  Isla’s eyebrows went up. “Someone please tell me that Savannah hasn’t fallen in love with the male nanny in the course of one day because I will lose my shit. I mean, legitimately lose my shit.”

  I smacked her arm. “Stop. You make me sound nuts. I have not fallen in love in one day.”

  “If the glass shoe fits.”

  Isla was a cynic. She called herself a realist but let’s be honest. She was sinking into Bitterville whether she wanted to admit it or not. I totally worried that one day she would wake up miserable and realize she’d wasted a decade hating people in general, men specifically.

  “Don’t make this about you,” I told her, sitting up a little straighter. My jeans were gutting into my post-baby gut. I felt lucky that only five pounds were being stubborn and sticking around, but they were all in my midsection. When I spent every day wearing yoga pants it was easier to ignore, but maybe it was time to go shopping for a size up and spare myself this minor torture.

  “About me?” Isla snorted. “How is that?”

  “About your determination to hate on relationships. I didn’t even get to say one word and you went straight to love. Clearly you’re obsessed with it.” This was a thing Isla and I did. We bantered about what ultimately was both our favorite topic, just from different perspectives.

  “Here we go,” Felicia said, her British accent making it sound particularly clipped.

  “Tell us about the nanny,” Dakota said, wearing a bodysuit that plunged in the middle to the navel.

  It was a bold choice for a Thursday night, but that was Dakota. She was six feet tall and had legs that came up to my armpits. She wasn’t much for drama, except when it came to her style. She embraced her height and dancer’s figure.

  “The last time I saw Maddox he was eighteen,” I told them, pausing to take a sip of water. Anymore I never had anything to contribute to conversations about dating, so I wanted to draw out the impact. “He was skinny, quiet, into Dungeons and Dragons.”

  “Those guys always have huge dicks,” Dakota said.

  She wasn’t wrong in Maddox’s case. My cheeks burned as I pictured him in the shower, water running down those abs and right over a very impressive cock…

  “I think that’s off-topic,” Felicia said.

  “Not if you look at Savannah’s face,” Leah said, sounding very gleeful.

  “I didn’t have sex with him,” I said, pointing a finger at Isla. “So don’t start reprimanding me. But yes, his dick is impressive and I know that because he told me to take a nap and when I woke up Sully was gone. In my mom panic I barged in on him in the shower.”

  “Where was the baby?” Felicia asked.

  “In the shower with him.” I put my hands on my cheeks. “Girls. Maddox is big and muscular and tattooed everywhere.”

  “Everywhere?” Dakota asked. “What’s tattooed on his dick? I always wondered how they do that. I mean, depending on whether you’re hard or limp the art is going to look different.”

  That momentarily distracted me. I wasn’t sure I could jump on a tattooed dick. Not that I was jumping on Maddox’s. But I thought it might be a little unnerving. “What? No. His you-know is not tattooed. But a lot of the rest of him is and he’s like this bad boy and it was shocking. I mean, I thought of him as a kid brother.”

  “And now you don’t?” Leah looked around. “Where the hell is the waitress? It took me a fucking hour and a half to get here on the train. I want a glass of wine.”

  “Have Grant’s driver pick you up,” Isla said with a smirk.

  “Ew. Don’t be weird.”

  “It’s not weird for your billionaire fiancé to take care of you,” I reassured her.

  “It’s even weirder when you put it like that.”

  “I would let my billionaire fiancé send a car for me.”

  “You would let a prisoner put you on his visitor list,” Isla said.

  That made me laugh. “No, I would not. But anyway, back to my story, thank you very much. I saw Maddox and he’s all man and flirty and cute with my son and I cannot, under any circumstances, go there. So I think I need to start dating again. I need you all to pick out my dates
for me, because we all know I can’t be trusted not to find the biggest douchebags ever.”

  “That’s a lot to unwrap,” Felicia said. “Can we start back at the beginning? So you’re attracted to Maddox the manny?”

  I nodded. My mouth practically watered. “I opened the door and I actually got flustered. Like, my basement flooded, if you know what I mean. I didn’t even know I could get turned on anymore. But now I know I can, so it’s clearly time to start dating.”

  “I feel there are some leaps in logic there,” Felicia said. “One, why can’t you date the nanny? Two, why do you need to date? Can’t you just find a hookup?”

  I eyed her. “It’s like you don’t even know me at all. I don’t do casual sex. I don’t even know how to do casual sex. I’ve tried and I’ve ended up spending six days straight in the Caribbean with the guy who was supposed to be a one-night stand!”

  “Oh, God,” Isla said, shaking her head. “I remember what will forever be known as the Dante Debacle.”

  “I need to date, old-school. Find a guy to be in a relationship with, at least for awhile. Have some nice sex, and settle in for a couple of years.” If not forever. But they’d protest miserably if I said that out loud.

  “What about the nanny?” Dakota asked. “Since he’s hung.”

  “Are you crazy?” Leah asked. “She just said she can’t do friends with benefits. We all know that is one hundred percent true. She cannot have a man living with her for two months, watching her baby, while she complicates the hell out of it by falling in love with him.”

  That made me protest. “I wouldn’t fall in love with him!”

  The waitress finally appeared and all conversation ground to a halt so Leah could get her wine order in first. Dakota ordered a bourbon on the rocks, which made my throat burn just thinking about. Felicia got a martini and Isla a craft beer. I felt sorry for myself as I ordered an iced tea.