Yoshiwara

by Eve Kaan

  After this statement, Rin couldn't stay quiet, so she retorted, 'You leave me alone whenever you see the chance because you're full of understanding toward my loneliness.'

  Nori instantly reacted, with her still full mouth. 'I didn't say you were lonely.

  Gina wasn't paying too much attention to their conversation, just sitting there enjoying the food, and briefly commented. 'Nori, your food is delicious. And come on, give it a rest, Uta is here.' She looked at me. 'It's never peaceful here.'

  My attention came back to Rin as she pulled her hand out of mine to pour us both some tea, I'm not used to being treated so nice. She was focusing on a teapot while releasing the question, 'I was thinking, we could visit the Bunraku play tonight, we could use some real entertainment for once?'

  I quietly repeated, 'Bunraku.'

  Gina commented, 'You know we are always in the mood for theater, but we also enjoy the dance of our girls.' Nori bumped her shoulder a little, and Gina quickly corrected herself. 'But of course, the theater is my number one.' She looked at Nori to check if she was satisfied with her response.

  Rin finished serving our tea. 'And you, do you like the theater?'

  I couldn't hide the reaction, 'I love it! Last time I went was a couple of summers ago, I was always looking forward to the plays. They were driving us regularly when I was in house 24, but since I moved to Mother's home the opportunity hadn't shown up because of –' suddenly I finished the sentence before I said 'the costs'. Serious note seized the table.

  Nori looked warmly at me. 'Tonight is one of the best plays with supreme performers.' She continued to speak about the dance, costumes, and actors, and I was looking at Rin. With a contemplative glance, she lightened her cigarette, taking the smoke as she placed a hand, beneath the table, on mine.

  'Uta, Uta.' Gina called me several times before I reacted. She asked me about the shows I watched. It didn't take long for Nori to infiltrate in our conversation. We talked during the whole tea session. They enjoyed my stories, about how we imitated the dance moves at home while we were still young girls, and how we would get scared of the actor's faces full of makeup, at that time.

  Rin only smiled here and there but didn't participate in our conversation. In the end, I praised Nori's lunch, and she thanked me with rosy cheeks. I tried to help with the cleaning after lunch, but Gina scolded me. 'You're the guest.'

  Rin stood up with the fourth cigarette she was smoking and guided me to the garden path, above which the crowns are joined in a tree that's ending on the ground. Above us, only violet and white colours are merging. Embracing me around the waist, she gently kissed me when we stopped at the syringe. She moved her lips away from mine, but her nose is still touching my cheek. We stayed like that for a while in silence, feeling a touch of emotions. 'Yuna, I'm so sorry you had to endure such a life.'

  'What do you mean?'

  'I mean on Yoshiwara - if I could change your past by giving you everything I've had, I'd do it in a heartbeat.'

  'I'm not sorry about it Rin.'

  'You like the theater so much, yet you didn't have a chance to visit it. This is surely only one of many things you've been longing for.' She raised her hands to my face. 'I love you so much - I want to give you everything.'

  'Rin, I learned and saw things in Yoshiwara without which I would spend the rest of my life if I had stayed in the village. And you've already given me everything I need for happiness.'

  'But yours past...'

  'My past is like the present, thanks to you – very happy. Without Yoshiwara, I would be illiterate today, married to a peasant and giving birth each year. So what if I didn't go to the theater as much as I wanted. Not even all the gold in this world could buy every wish someone would have, and you are my only wish Rin. I would live in Yoshiwara, in the village or wherever it takes just to meet you in the end.' She kissed me gently. 'Stop looking at me like that, I am happy.'

  'How am I looking at you?'

  'Like that, as if you were met with an orphan on the street.'

  'I don't look at you like that.'

  'And how do you see me then?'

  'Like the little creature that did not wipe her mouth properly.'

  'What!?' I felt my cheeks blushing.

  'You missed some sauce here.' She pointed to my lips.

  'Where?'

  'Riiight - here.' She kissed my chin. 'And here as well.' Her lips showing me, sliding over my skin and I indulged myself in the pleasure she's giving me.

  The day went like it was pulled out of an enchanting dream.

  We were riding horses from her estate, and she had to add that I can try it now when I'm no longer an innocent girl, so I don't have to worry about my hymen.

  We soaked in hot baths, walked throughout the gardens, everything accompanied by mutual gentleness. Gina and Nori were nowhere in sight until dinner time. It's no wonder when the estate is so large - as half of Yoshiwara altogether.

  In her room, a plate of fresh fruit welcomed us. I'm not sure if Nori had prepared it for us, but judging from her noting of it at dinner, significantly saying that she hopes we will enjoy the grapes, I assume that was the case. I watched Rin as she took off her yukata, and again she caused shiver inside of me, despite my previous enjoyment in her allurement this afternoon. She opened the sliding door, which led to an unknown room, I haven't had a chance to see yet.

  I was astonished. Everything was filled with yukatas, kimonos, hakamas, and even with some western garments. The closet stretched in length the same as my room in Mother's house - she just walked in. I went after her, the colours attracted my eyes as well as her naked body surrounded by silk.

  'All of this is yours?' I asked, sliding a hand over the silk fabrics.

  'Yes, has any of it caught your eyes?' I looked at the clothes, placed in several rows, sorted by the colours and materials. Behind me were winter and in front of me, summer pieces. Rin came from my back, taking the kimono I gazed at.

  'They are all beautiful. I have never seen so many clothes in one place, not even in a tailor's parlour.'

  'Try this one. I've never even worn it, I got it for a present when I came back from Europe. It's too perky for my taste.' She held the kimono attached to my shoulders. 'It will suit you wonderfully.'

  'I have enough of my own kimonos. I'm just looking.'

  'Oh, come on. Just try it, I want to see how this colour looks on you.' Kimono glittered like a starry sky. Dark blue silk with silver needlework and a matching obi. I couldn't resist.

  'I'll just try it if we have time?'

  'We have all the time in the world.' Rin helped me and then took me to the large mirror. 'You're so beautiful Yuna, I want to watch you in this kimono tonight. It's yours, I'm giving it to you.' She was excited, although she immediately realized what she had just said.

  'I can't Rin. I don't want -'

  'What do you not want? Allow me to enjoy your beauty?'

  'That's not why I came here. I don't want to accept your expensive gifts, It's not important to me, I'm not that kind of woman, I told you already.' She took me by the shoulders and turned to herself.

  'Yuna, if I was to think something like that about you I wouldn't spend my time with you. It matters to me, I want you to accept it - for me. I want to give you all I have and can. Please take it. I don't want to run that conversation again.'

  'But Rin -'

  'There's no but, Yuna. What would you do if we were in reversed positions? It makes no sense for me to live in luxury, and you -. You have to accept that I have - that I'm wealthy. I'm not buying your love, you know I would never do that. I just have the need to share everything I have with you. For me, the feelings toward you have much greater value than any gold ever could.' I directed my eyes to the floor, and for a few moments stood thoughtfully.

  'At the beginning, you were refusing me because of the gold, I don't want you to think -'

  'I refused you because of fear from my own feelings - your intentions. I didn't believe in love, I
didn't believe I was capable of it.'

  'Intent, Rin. I don't want you to doubt my intentions. I can't accept the gift, I'm sorry.' I turned my back to her looking at the floor, yet she could see my expression in the mirror that stands just in front of us. Approaching my ear, she gently whispered.

  'I accepted it all Yuna. The gold means nothing to me in comparison to the pain that would destroy me if I were to lose you. I would doubt in your intentions if I was poor, then I would wonder if I was just entertainment to you. I'm aware that you've been asking yourself that, you can hide - even from yourself, but it's the truth. The wealth was just an excuse for a moment.' I felt her hands hugging my waist.

  'I was wondering, but I never considered it because -' I raised my head, staring at her in the mirror, 'your eyes Rin - I have read it all in them.'

  'I'm not brave like you. My feelings -,' She stared down, leaning her head on my shoulder, 'I was a coward. You will never trust me. It's my own fault.'

  'You're not a coward Rin.' I turned to her while tracing my fingers underneath her chin, carefully pulling her closer to myself. 'I wouldn't be here if your words were true. I trust you, and I accept your gift like I will every other in the future you might want me to have.' She kissed me gently filled with emotions.

  'Each and every garment here is yours Yuna - if you'd like that. With you, I would share everything, all I have.' In excitement, she gestured with her hand, pointing on all the clothes around us.

  'And I will share everything with you, Rin, but I don't have much as you do. Maybe some expensive kimonos and several fancy napkins.' She went to the golden box, pulling out silk with my initials.

  'You mean like the one I stole from you?'

  'You kept it?' My eyes widened while looking at the napkin she held.

  'It's worth more than gold to me, I've been sleeping with it every single night.'

  'It's that napkin when I... That was the only time... I don't even know why I was -.' I blushed.

  'Because you're just the way you are, which made me fall in love with you.'

  'Oh, Rin.' I kissed her neck, her cheek, then my lips came to hers.

  She enjoyed watching me while getting ready in front of the mirror. I brushed hair then tied it in a bun. She pulled out the box with silver hairpins, placed two of them in my hair where she thought would be beautiful on me. I didn't comment - only looked at her through the mirror and took her hands in mine.

  Gina and Nori were waiting for us in the carriage impatiently. 'Uta, you are beautiful.' They complimented me at the same time. I thanked them with presumably rosy cheeks.

  'She's always entrancing.' Rin looked at me, holding my hand to help me up on the metal stairs of the carriage. I'm really excited about the theater. Carriage ran through the night, and she held me all that time. The bright city lights struck in windows like the rain of the starry sky. I was admiring the world around me.

  We finally came in front of the same theater I visited as a girl.

  Rin has a permanent reservation in an exclusive lodge, from which the entire stage can be seen. I never had the opportunity to watch the show from that perspective.

  Gina and Nori were sitting behind us, and Rin squeezed beside me. I was thrilled when the first music notes started.

  There's a man dressed in a woman. As a little girl, I didn't know that there were no women in kabuki, I just always assumed that they have ugly faces, or better said - awkward. It's obviously a man there, regardless of clothes, heavy makeup, big fake hair, and graceful movements, a facial figure remains recognizably coarse in male linings. I'm fascinated because I only saw such a blend as a little girl when I walked through the streets. It's a secret, but everyone knows that in the other part of Yoshiwara, there are a few houses - where you don't know if it's a man or a woman in front of you.

  'This is a performance of a princess sacrificing herself for her people to save them.' Rin whispered to me with the first actor's movements. I watched breathlessly at the show. These body movements are better then most girls would perform, yet he is the old master of Kabuki theater. He's wearing a large wig, almost down to the floor in length, tied in a tail. His sleeves are almost as long as the kimono I wore at the ceremony. In each movement, he kept steady for a few moments. I can't believe what kind of physical condition he has. It's like the body is floating in the air, weightless. Every gesture talked about his own emotions.

  I hear Nori sobbing behind me, the story really is disturbing, but I'm not going to cry about it. I'm entirely in the movements that this man controls. For me, and from a woman's perspective, that seems like it's only a dream to achieve. Dance is my passion. What a spectacle this is - I'm shivering from the excitement. In front of me is an army of swords, through the combat they are going toward the kingdom. Jumping and making hoops in a way that's making us believe their feet are only touching the air - a beautiful image. The play takes place on the side stage, but I watch those who stayed on the main one, striking on instruments. I've always been like that. I like to observe whatever theater does not want to put in the focus of an observer, you can see all the secrets there. Especially when we can see actors assistants in black neutral costumes. They are the ones helping to revive the spell.

  I applauded every time the princess would change her costume in a blink of an eye in front of us. If I were a man, I would become a part of the Kabuki theater.

  In the narrative piece Gina and Nori began to comment, 'Oh, what a spectacle - we could be watching it forever.' Nori's tears disappeared with a napkin, but I noticed a subtle tear on Rin's cheek slowly sliding down - I'm amazed - besides myself, the great Respected lady is crying on a play.

  I'll pretend I didn't notice her soft heart. At the show - really, I need a little time to accept her emotional moment - for princes and the war that are not real, but just an illusion. I thought I was sensitive. Maybe I'm too rough when everyone else is crying, and I stayed indifferent. Rubbish, who's crying because of the play. 'Be quiet.' Rin said to them without averting her gaze from the stage - and now she is subtly trying to wipe her tear off. I can see that she'd like to participate in the conversation, but how can she with those tears. My heart beats hard from the tenderness she is hiding. I will use this opportunity to comfort her - I can see that she needs it. I hugged her with an arm around her waist, while the other slid in her palm. I leaned forward kissing her tear to wipe it off. She firmly clutched my hand, she must have been deeply affected.

  Rin silently whispered to me, 'It's not what you think, that's just my eyelash troubling me.' I looked at her and saw the rare blush flushing her cheeks. She's acting like she doesn't see the way I gaze at her - suddenly seeming very interested in musicians since there are no actors out at the moment. She's embarrassed, I softly whispered my love words to her - I couldn't help it, she squeezed even more into me. I could feel the quick pulse of her neck on my shoulder as she leaned on me to answer my fond words with the same ones. My hands are holding a fragile creature for whom I feel all the love of this world.

  Gina commented, 'It is truly noble of the princesses assistants to go on the field defending the area.'

  Nori turned to her. 'And you're starting again with your unfulfilled wishes about how you are the commander who's conquered the world, Gina.'

  Rin smiled. 'Do you remember Nori,' then she looked at me, 'when we were in Greece? Gina had fallen in love with the Spartan exercises and told us that she had a huge desire to master the skills of old warriors.' Rin and Nori laughed while Gina crossed the arms over her chest.

  Nori continued. 'You paid her a lesson on those exercises. She went once and never mentioned warriors again.' I stifled a laugh. I wouldn't like to offend Gina. Through the teeth, she responded to them. 'It's not true. And yes, I was there - but they told me I didn't need those exercises because I'm strong enough and that my eyes, however, shine like the ones of a warrior. After all, I was the only woman there.'

  Nori pulled her closer, regardless of Gina's resistance. She kissed he
r on the cheek. 'You are my hero, brave little spartan. I didn't forget how you carried me all over the house when I broke my leg.' Gina started to give in, and Nori continued. 'Not all women have such strength.'

  Nori knew exactly what to tell Gina to win her over. 'And it wasn't even hard for me, I could handle you even if you weighed twice as much.'

  'I know, I know...' Nori traced her cheek while soothing her.

  Rin still laughed a bit. 'So Gina, you would be prepared to leave your home for some time to defend your country?' Of course we heard the affirmative answer, followed by an explanation about a matter of her honor which stands in front of the courage. Rin seems to be up to something. She looked at me mischievously while repeating the question, rephrasing it. 'Does that mean you would go on a field for the benefit of the family estate?' I immediately knew what was going on. Nori looked at her as if she had just figured it out, but stayed silent. Gina was talking about honor again, and Rin looked at me, now seeming all nervous, silently asking for my support. I nodded to her lightly in approval. She turned to the two of them, asking if they're willing to go to the flooded area of her estate - she told them everything, pointing out that this is just a temporary solution and they wouldn't have to stay there longer than a couple of days every other week. That launched a serious conversation about selling the property. I took the liberty to express my opinion explaining that a properly guided field would give them a bigger profit, in the end, regardless of the troubles. Rather than the expenses, if they were to buy the needed crop for a market price. And the sum of field selling price would be spent in three summers on someone else's crop. Of course, I had to mention the families working on that field, my grandma brought me up from her earnings on the field after all.

  Rin immediately agreed with me, and it didn't take neither Gina nor Nori long to give in. They conceded on condition that the cottage, as they call a small palace where my love had to spend her nights at the time of the flood, is to be restored. They agreed on everything and concluded the matter just before the final dance started, where even the effects were used.