Second Chances
Page 8
When you think negatively about a person, you call them stubborn. When you think positively about a person, you call them committed, confident, or full of self-esteem. Both of these men had that quality—stubbornness and/or self-esteem. They both believed they were right in their opinions about each other, and neither would be moved—at least no one would ever expect them to be moved. Dad thought Glenn was a low life. Glenn thought Dad was an ungrateful old bastard. They had somehow reached an angry stalemate, an affirmation of their mutual inability to live in each other’s verbal presence. Yet I could see these two men, engaging in the same prayer-like behavior, only about twelve feet from one another.
The priest finally waved his hand and stopped talking. My father wheeled my grandmother up to the casket, and she placed a flower upon it. My father put his hand over his mouth. He placed a flower on the casket and said goodbye to his father. He cried.
I didn’t watch. I tried to ignore it. The others paid their last respects and embraced each other. I watched my sister and Glenn, my brother Matt and his girlfriend Janis, my Aunt Marie, my Uncle Bertrand, and my cousins Robert, Jean-Luc, and Claudette, all pay their respects and walk on, staring at the ground or into empty space. There were countless other relatives, sometimes weighed down by the presence of anxious small children. Then there were a few people I’d never seen before and would never see again. Perhaps they were friends. Perhaps they were casual acquaintances who respected my grandfather in some capacity because of his work.
When the last group of mourners had walked on, the casket was lowered into the ground. There came a moment when Glenn and Dad, whether by coincidence or mutual choice, came face-to-face with each other, with the gravesite in their background. I don’t know if what happened was spontaneous. I don’t know if it was inspired by my grandfather’s passing. I don’t know if maybe one of them did secretly think they were wrong about the other. Glenn and Dad came face-to-face with one another and looked at each other. They shook hands. The handshake turned into a hug. I could only make out some of the words that they said—they were talking only to one another and didn’t want the crowd to hear. But Glenn said to my father that he was sorry for his loss, that he did care about my father, and that he wished they didn’t have to be enemies. Dad told him that he did appreciate Glenn for taking care of Christine, and that he was proud of Glenn and Christine in their happy life with their beautiful children—his grandchildren.
Glenn seemed ready to leave it at that, but then my father said something like, “We don’t have to be enemies anymore,” and they embraced in front of the gravesite. Everyone was already quiet, but by then the entire family had realized that a reconciliation was happening, and they had crowded around Dad and Glenn, trying to hear what they were saying to one another. When they embraced, everyone applauded. It was like a miracle had happened and everyone just watched it. Everyone went from being solemn to being hopeful, perhaps even a little bit celebratory.
When we all got together at the house afterwards, the mood was light and happy. No one cried. My father didn’t cry anymore that day. Something tragic had happened, but then something more beautiful had happened. It was almost like the beautiful thing canceled out the tragic thing for a while that day. There was one less confusing, awkward silence between two of my family members from that day forth.
Experiences like this make me wonder: why do we wait until bad things happen to tell each other we care? If there is something that we ought to say or show to one another before the day is done, we should do it right now! If we wait until it’s convenient or appropriate, we are truly stubborn—but that is the rut we fall into.
Glenn and my father had a reason to come together on that day, but the rest of us don’t need to wait for a reason. If you love or respect a person and believe that a person deserves your acknowledgement, appreciation, or consideration, you must say it, and you must say it as soon as possible! The convenient or appropriate time might be too late. That time, it was my grandfather’s funeral, but I know that both Dad and Glenn knew that everyone passes, and that making peace and having forgiveness between them was an endeavor they were obliged to undertake before one of them passed and their true respects went unpaid. This was a happy ending to a funeral. But the happiest part of this story is that you and I now know that we do not have to wait until a funeral happens to make peace and forgive one another.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Thanks to my friend and colleague Andreas Saint-Laurent, a great writer who helped me shape these stories. He is a funny and sincere man, and it was a sincere pleasure to work with him to create this book. I also want to express my gratitude to Nadine Edwards, a dear friend and a wise lady who lives every day with a second chance in mind.
I also want to thank my kids, Zak and Jake, who have taught me that redemption and hope can be found every day in the eyes of our children. Lastly, thanks go to my beautiful and sexy wife, Zahra, who gave me a second chance to be a better husband and father!
William Umansky
Orlando, Florida
March 2011
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
William D. Umansky, also known as “The Lawman,” is a criminal defense and personal injury lawyer who has made it his life’s mission to help others have a second chance at life. As the Managing Partner of the Umansky Law Firm in Orlando, Florida, William uses his experience to show people who have gone through life-altering ordeals that in the midst of difficulty, there is a way out.
William and his wife Zahra, also a trial lawyer, and their great boys, Zak and Jake, currently reside in the Central Florida area.
He is also the founder of the Second Chance Foundation of Florida, a non-profit foundation that raises money and funds for tuition and book scholarships for outstanding underprivileged high school seniors who need a second chance! For more information go to SecondChanceofFlorida.com.
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