Desire: The Dark Christmases

by Z. L. Arkadie

  “However what?” I asked, mirroring her expression.

  “It wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be, and I’m guessing Jasper Christmas has a lot to do with it. Are you sure you can handle him?”

  No, I wasn’t. “Yes, I’m sure. I’m a professional. You know that. Plus, this thing that was going on between Jasper and me is over. Kaput.”

  Rachel studied me as though she were looking for cracks in my resolve. I worked like hell to keep a straight face and not show her any.

  “Okay,” she finally said. “I’m glad to have you onboard, but please be careful with Jasper Christmas. I always thought he was a little damaged.”

  “Damaged?”

  “It’s possible he doesn’t have a soul.”

  My first inclination was to defend Jasper, but my intuition told me to heed her warning and heed it well.

  Chapter Eight

  I checked into my home-living suite at Park Royale Hotel and didn’t have to pay a dime. The show would foot the bill for the first three months, after which I would have the choice to live there permanently at a reduced rate of $8,000 per month—fucking yikes—or move. I thought I would move eventually, but I didn’t know for sure, considering that living full-time in New York City felt as if I were deciding to reside on a different planet. The energy didn’t jibe with my soul. I wanted something slower and less hectic. However, I had no time to ponder and work through the restless emotions soaring through me.

  Kylie called as soon as I set my purse on the sofa. We planned to meet for a late lunch in the hotel’s restaurant after my appointment with Louis Ramsey, the fashion designer Rachel’s assistant had arranged to dress me for the night’s gala.

  Ramsey arrived before my call ended with Kylie. He and his assistants rolled in six racks and four bins full of dresses, accessories, and shoes for me to choose from. It felt like a tedious situation. I was done with the special treatment, and truthfully, after the day I’d had, all I wanted was to be at home in Philadelphia, in my pajamas, while working on my next story, which did not involve Jasper Christmas. The fact that I wasn’t dazzled by all the pretty garments made it easier to select what was right for me. It took me less than fifteen minutes to choose a dress.

  “I would lambast you for being too quick if you hadn’t chosen correctly,” Louis said.

  I selected a long, sleek golden gown made of silk with a sexy, low cowl neck and spaghetti straps. The material hugged my curves with a sultry ease.

  I let Louis and his team select my jewelry, cocktail purse, coat, and shoes. I said yes to everything, and it didn’t take them long to figure out that I really didn’t care what I wore for the evening. Hell, I would’ve been fine showing up in a pair of jeans and a sweater. But nevertheless, leaving my look up to the professionals had served me well. My head-to-toe look was pretty stunning.

  “We’ll send hair and makeup three hours before—” Ramsey began.

  I shot a hand up. “No.” I shook my head adamantly. “No hair and makeup. I can manage.”

  He leaned back as if what I’d said had been the shock of his life. “None?”

  “No. None.”

  Ramsey and his team raised their eyebrows, looking at each other as if they had to work through how to comprehend what I was saying. He didn’t argue with me, although I could tell he wanted to. I wanted no more poking and prodding. Plus, I hated wearing so much makeup that I didn’t look like myself. Finally, Ramsey and his team rolled out the same way they had rolled in. But less than a minute later, after I’d flopped wearily on top of the bed, someone knocked on the door.

  I looked around to see if Ramsey had left something behind. Nope, he’d taken everything. I figured it was Kylie, who probably saw the parade leave my room and, like me, was starving and ready to eat lunch.

  I shuffled out of the bedroom and opened the door. My jaw dropped.

  “Hello, Holly.”

  It was Jasper Christmas, looking delicious in a pair of black slacks and a black crew-neck sweater under a gray ski jacket. His blue-green eyes watched me with intensity, and I released a breath after forgetting to breathe.

  I swallowed the knot in my throat. “What are you doing here?”

  He appeared nervous as he glanced across his left shoulder. “Are you going to let me in?”

  No. At least that was what my common sense wanted to say. Instead, I stepped back and gave him space to enter.

  As soon as I closed the door, my back was pressed against the wood. Jasper’s tongue was in my mouth, and his lips were feverishly devouring mine.

  My head spun as his kiss set my body on fire. Where am I? Who am I? Am I even existing on earth as my head floats higher and higher?

  “Don’t you ever talk to me like that again,” he whispered thickly while kissing me and pressing his full erection against my pubis.

  “Don’t you ever talk to me like that,” I said breathlessly.

  Suddenly, I was being cradled and carried. He took me to the bedroom and dropped me on top of the bed. Holy shit, I didn’t know which way was up. My natural pragmatic self was lost inside me, but I could hear her attempting to jar me into sanity.

  “Shit,” he said as his mouth voraciously devoured my neck.

  “Wait, wait, wait.” I was able to roll off the bed and onto my feet. My head felt woozy. “No.” I could hardly take my eyes off his magnificent bulge. But I had to get a grip. We couldn’t keep using sex to mitigate the many issues that existed in our relationship or lack thereof.

  He stood, and we were face-to-face. “I miss you.”

  “That’s your fault, not mine.”

  “Damn it, Holly. I apologized for hurting you.”

  “It seems you’re always having to apologize for hurting me,” I said.

  “That’s not true, and you know it.”

  I sniffed bitterly. “I haven’t even known you a month, and the hurts weren’t small ones, Jasper. They were big, heart-torturing hurts.”

  His shoulders collapsed when he sighed. “You know our circumstances aren’t normal.”

  I intended for him to feel the fervor emanating from my eyes. “You’re getting married to Julia Valentine, Jasper. And if you expect me to be your side piece, then—”

  Suddenly, I was in his embrace, and we were kissing deeply. As usual, my head was spinning.

  “I’m not marrying anyone,” he whispered after his lips softly released mine.

  I felt so confused. Rachel’s voice was in my head, reminding me that he was damaged. Perhaps Jasper would lie to get what he wanted at that moment because he craved my pussy.

  “Why does everyone believe you’re damaged and dangerous?”

  His body went rigid. “Who believes that?”

  For a moment, I questioned whether or not I should’ve mentioned Rachel’s assessment of him. However, I hadn’t been able to get her words out of my head. She would never make such claims without proof.

  “Many of my colleagues. The ones who don’t make such accusations without evidence.”

  His blue-green eyes softened some as they searched mine. “Do you believe I’m damaged and dangerous?”

  I felt like a fly trapped by his gaze. Since my words wouldn’t form, I shrugged.

  “I could be dangerous, and maybe I am damaged.”

  I sucked in a sharp breath as my lips parted. Was I afraid? Turned on? Grateful that he had told the truth? I hadn’t expected such veracity from him.

  “But I would never hurt you, Holly. I would die before I did that.”

  My eyes closed as I allowed the lightheadedness to pass. “I can’t…”

  “You can, baby.” He kissed me again. “Yes, you can.”

  “No, I can’t.”

  Jasper stood very still, and for that reason, I opened my eyes. His gaze held me captive.

  “Holly, listen to me and listen to me well. I know how to be Randolph Christmas. I was given that lesson from the day I was born. But I rejected my father. Not as a boy, who harbored pain, ange
r, and resentment. My father gave me a harsh education. It was the Roman way, as he used to say.” He snorted as he snarled. “I could’ve been just like him, but I had to do things to change my course. I had to know who he was through and through and make a conscious effort to never be like him. Do you understand? I know you do.”

  Jasper’s level of introspection held me spellbound, turned me on, and made my heart want to jump out of my chest to melt with his. I had to swallow the lump in my throat before I threw my arms around his neck. We were making out feverishly. All I felt for him was raw desire. Then a thought came to mind. I tried to banish it. Now was not the time to say it, but what was on my mind wanted to find its way out of my mouth regardless.

  “Jasper…” I whispered and sucked air, feeling the tickling sensation of his lips and tongue on my neck.

  Now is not the time, Holly.

  He grinded me hard with his swollen cock. “What is it, baby?”

  Oh God… the pressure of his hardness against my pussy stirred a pleasurable sensation. My desire was so high, I forgot what I was going to say, but I knew it had to do with my earlier meeting with Rachel. Then I remembered.

  “Jasper, I have to tell you…”

  Knock, knock, knock.

  The sound brought me back to earth.

  “They’ll go away,” Jasper said before his mouth consumed mine again.

  “But I’m supposed to have lunch with Kylie,” I whispered. Then I called, “Who is it?”

  “Hi, Holly Henderson. It’s me, Rod Huff,” the man said.

  My eyes grew wide.

  Jasper gave me a who’s-that look.

  “Rod Huff?” I croaked. He was a man I had fucked a few years ago during a journalism conference in Denver… or it could’ve been Seattle. No, it was Chicago.

  “Who is Rod Huff?” Jasper whispered, pronouncing every word sharply.

  “A colleague.”

  “I’m sorry. Are you busy?” Rod called.

  “Tell him to go away,” Jasper hissed.

  My eyes narrowed to slits. I didn’t think I could ever get used to Jasper ordering me around, which meant if he wanted our relationship to flourish, he would have to work on that annoying habit. However, in that instant, he was right.

  “I’m not decent at the moment. Could we talk later?” I asked.

  Jasper was shaking his head. I looked away from him to help me better ignore him.

  “You’ll be at the gala tonight, right?” Rod asked.

  I could feel Jasper’s jealousy burning me alive. “Yes.”

  “How about we go together?”

  “No,” Jasper whispered.

  “Um…” I was so terribly confused.

  “I can meet you in the lobby at eight,” Rod said.

  I squeezed my eyes tight. I didn’t want Rod escorting me to the gala, but I didn’t want to obey Jasper either. “Okay.”

  “Great. See you then,” Rod said, sounding happy about our eventual meeting.

  Jasper and I stood still, staring each other in the eyes. Why in the world did I feel as if I were cheating on him? I wasn’t. He wasn’t my boyfriend, and I certainly wasn’t his girlfriend.

  “You’re fucking stubborn,” he finally said. “You know that?”

  “I resent being called stubborn.” Damn, my heart was beating a mile a minute. Why in the hell was he turning me on like this?

  “Then stop being stubborn,” he said.

  “You can’t order me around, Jasper.”

  He ripped my white robe open. “Were you going to let him in here with you looking like this?”

  I glanced down at my panties and bra. He sounded crazy as hell, but for some reason, I wanted him to take me and fuck my brains out.

  “I had a robe on,” I said.

  Jasper maintained laser focus on my face. “What gala was he referring to?” The look in his eyes told me he demanded an answer.

  An energy raced through my body, one that would prove Jasper’s claim about me being stubborn was right.

  I folded my arms. “I’m surprised you don’t know anything about the gala. You knew I was in New York. You also knew I was here. Are you paying someone to follow me?”

  “Yes,” he answered without the slightest hesitation.

  My mouth fell open, and a breath escaped me. “You told the truth.”

  “I will always tell you the truth if you ask.”

  “Then why are you having me followed?”

  He stepped closer. “You really don’t know the answer to that question?”

  Our lips were so close that I wished he would kiss me. “Yes, I know it. Valentine,” I whispered.

  “He knows you’re in Manhattan and believes you’re here for me.”

  “But I’m not here for you.”

  A flash of desire lit his eyes. “No?”

  I shook my head. “I have a new job.”

  “Job?”

  “A news show, BCN…” I shook my head out of frustration because I couldn’t remember the name of it.

  “I see. Where’s the gala?”

  Shit, I felt like he’d injected me with obedience serum by simply standing so close and using such a confident voice.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “A car is supposed to take me to the event. I never asked for the address, but it’s the Gold Star Gala.”

  He nodded softly.

  I was still waiting for him to kiss me. But then I remembered the allegations against Christmas Industries, and I knew it was time to say something. However, he took a step back, leaving my lips lonely.

  “Um, Jasper. I—”

  My cell phone chimed, and I looked over at the phone, which sat on the nightstand. It must’ve been Kylie.

  “Shit,” I said under my breath. “I’m late.”

  “Late for what?” Jasper asked.

  “Lunch with Kylie.”

  “Kylie Roberson?”

  “Yes,” I said impatiently.

  My device kept ringing. I was torn between answering it and enlightening Jasper about the allegations against his company. He had already put on his coat.

  “Where are you going?” I asked.

  “We’ll talk soon,” he said and walked out of the room.

  The phone became quiet.

  “Shit.” I rushed to the console to call Kylie back. I frowned at the number of the missed call. It was unrecognizable but had a local area code. Since Jasper was more than likely long gone, I listened to the message.

  Alexia said you were asking about me. She won’t meet you. Please call me and tell me what you want. You have my number.

  My fingers poked eagerly at the numbers on the screen. My nerves stood on edge as I waited for the woman to answer. After the fourth ring, the call went to voice mail. I frowned. She should have picked up since she had left me the message not even a minute ago.

  “Hi, it’s me, Holly Henderson.” Since she was playing coy, I thought it best to get right to the point. “Does the name Randolph Christmas ring a bell? Please let me know. I’ll be waiting for your call.”

  My phone rang shortly after I hung up.

  “Hello,” I answered eagerly.

  “Holly, where the hell are you? You’re late,” Kylie said.

  “Shit,” I said, mostly because I’d just heard a beep while on the phone with Kylie, indicating someone else had just left a text. “Sorry, Kylie. I’ll be downstairs shortly,” I said in a rush.

  “How short is shortly?”

  “Less than five minutes.”

  “The clock is ticking.”

  I ended our call and looked at my screen. The previous caller had texted me. Please do not call me again. Go away. Leave me alone.

  “Shit!” I shouted loud enough to release my anguish.

  I had to calm down. Kylie was still waiting, so I jumped into a pair of black jeans, a cream cable-knit sweater, and riding boots, grabbed my purse and room key and headed to the restaurant for our late lunch. I’d learned early in my career that when an avalanche
of tasks that I needed to complete fell on me, I had to focus and do one thing at a time. First, lunch with Kylie. Next, attend the gala ball. Finally, call or locate Alexia and find out who the hell had called me and why there was so much confusion regarding our meeting.

  As I slipped into a crowded elevator, I pictured Gina as she gave me the lead on the house in Chattanooga. There had been something in her eyes. She knew something. I didn’t see it then, but I did now. Only as the elevator carried me up several floors to the penthouse restaurant did it occur to me that she was giving me a solid lead born out of real knowledge. I had thought for sure that all I was going to find was some sort of low-rate brothel. But now things were heating up. I wanted to know why the mystery woman had such an extreme reaction at the mention of Randolph Christmas’s name. I kicked myself for how I’d played my last communication to her. I should’ve divulged nothing until we were standing face-to-face.

  “Shit,” I muttered again as the doors opened at the floor I wanted.

  If only I could walk away from learning the mystery woman’s connection to Randolph Christmas. But I was more determined than ever to find out.

  Chapter Nine

  Kylie snapped her fingers. “Woo-hoo, earth to Holly. Where are you?”

  I refocused on her face. “Sorry.” I rubbed my temples. “I’m just so tired. It’s been a long day.”

  The truth was, I couldn’t get my correspondence with the mystery woman or Jasper off my mind. On top of that, I was thinking about Bryn.

  “So…” Kylie rubbed her hands together. “What did you find in Chattanooga?”

  I raised my eyebrows, remembering Kylie always had an agenda. She was hell-bent on destroying the Christmases, which meant our interests were not aligned.

  I shrugged. “No one lived at the address.”

  She twisted her mouth grimly. “Is that so? I saw a skinny guy with an oversized coat go inside.”

  I held a bite of my bolognese in front of my lips, pausing thoughtfully. I’d believed Nel when she said no one lived there. However, I was very accustomed to her type of personality. She was ashamed of drugs since her daughter had once been a slave to them. I’d appeared out of place to her. There was no way she was going to let me know illegal activity went on in that house.