Blue Sky

by D. Bryant Simmons

  “Miss?” He tried again.

  She collected herself and pointed us to the double doors to the right and handed us two passes. Folks was practically sitting on top of each other waiting to be seen. Heziah went right to the desk, but I couldn’t help studying all the faces, hoping to see my baby.

  “Belinda. She’s this way.”

  I never had any love for hospitals, but after all my treatments were successful, I thought maybe we might be able to be friends. But when I saw Jackie curled up under a mountain of blankets, I knew it would never happen. I was gonna always hate hospitals.

  “Hi, Mama. Hi, Daddy.” My girl tried to smile under the weight of all the swelling and bruising. She’d rolled herself up into a knot either outta fear or chill.

  Heziah squeezed her shoulder and asked her what happened. My girl tried again to smile. Said she was robbed on her way home.

  “Home? Or school?” Heziah wanted to know as if it would make a difference. Jackie didn’t answer. “You were walking by yourself? Where? Did somebody call the police? When did this happen?”

  “Heziah…”

  He took the hint well, nodded, and pushed the only chair, so it sat next to Jackie’s bed then went about finding a second one for himself.

  “It’s okay, baby. You gonna be just fine.”

  Tears made tracks down her cheeks, and her warm fingers grasped onto mine. It had happened again, and once again, I wasn’t there to stop it. To protect my child.

  The doctor said Jackie had a few bruised ribs plus cuts and a black eye. One of Kem’s neighbors had called the police, and the boys had run off at the first siren before they could do any real damage.

  “Real damage. What’s that supposed to mean?” Heziah glared at the man, then glanced down at Jackie.

  She was fixated on the machine that sat over her shoulder beeping.

  “Oh,” he gasped, and tears threatened to break free from his eyes.

  We listened in silence as the doctor continued with instructions to care for Jackie’s wounds. Instructions I’d never heard before but knew better than he did.

  They’d taken Jackie’s clothes and given her a sweatsuit that probably came from the lost and found. She huddled against Heziah, and I walked a few steps ahead of them, opening doors and doing my best to shield her from prying eyes.

  ◼︎

  “Mama, who’s at the door?” Nat stumbled out of her bedroom, rubbing her eyes.

  “Nobody. Go on back to bed.” I guided her gently and she didn’t resist. I wrapped my robe tighter around me and tied the sash into a knot. Had to lift both my robe and nightgown, so they wouldn’t trip me up on the way downstairs. Wasn’t appropriate attire to receive company, but I ain’t have a choice.

  Heziah was already on edge, and he sounded as if he was about to lose it.

  “Where were you, huh? You just leave my daughter to roam the streets at night by herself!”

  It was a ridiculous accusation. One that he wouldn’t have made if he’d had a night to sleep on it.

  “Where were you when she was being attacked by three thugs?”

  “Heziah.”

  He stood over an equally distraught Kem and turned ever so slightly in my direction. We ain’t need to make eye contact. He knew he’d gone too far. He sighed and headed toward the stairs.

  Kem held his head in his hands, and as Heziah’s feet climbed to the second floor, Kem slowly withdrew his fingers until I could see his face. He loved my girl, I was sure. It was easy to feel guilt for something that wasn’t your doing when you loved the person hurt by it.

  “Is she…? Did they…?”

  “Just a few cuts and bruises. She’s gonna be just fine.”

  He nodded, more for my sake than his own.

  I sat next to him, squeezing my knees together, and took his hand in mine. Jackie had seen and felt enough pain in her young life for any mama to feel the burden of that failure. Not to mention I knew my girl. I’d raised her. And wasn’t no man or even three strong enough to break her. Not in this life or the next.

  “I don’t remember giving my permission for this. Don’t remember you even asking. You just moved them in.”

  Nikki hushed him, but he continued without altering his tone or volume. My sister’s husband was what my daddy would’ve called too big for his britches. And Nikki wasn’t big enough to put the little man in his place.

  Mia sat on the floor playing with a clean white bunny that Nikki’d given her two hours before. It still had the tag on it. Nikki’d handed it over, talking about Easter, which sparked a question-and-answer session that covered both the resurrection of Jesus Christ and the Easter egg hunt. Mia didn’t understand the importance of either, but she liked the bunny’s soft fur.

  “If anything comes up missing, you’re paying for it.”

  Nikki agreed hurriedly and begged him to keep his voice down. “Mommy, we live here now? Where Dee gonna sleep?”

  “Shh. Time for bed.”

  Mia hopped up into the center of the bed and pretended to fall asleep. She’d spent one night in a separate room and apparently that was enough. I wasn’t about to fight her on it. Truth was I felt better knowing she was within arm’s reach anyway.

  “I’m sleep now, Mommy.”

  “Okay.” I lingered at the bedroom door and opened it an inch more. Nikki’s bedroom was directly across the hall. The argument had stopped.

  “I really sleep now, Mommy. See.”

  “Mmhmm.”

  The quiet was a suspicious end to the conflict. That is until I heard the bed creak followed by a long moan. I closed the door and turned my attention to the little girl claiming to be asleep while she jumped up and down on the bed.

  ◼︎

  “What will the neighbors say? Get him off my lawn! Are you trying to embarrass me?”

  I was caught off guard by the exchange. Awakened from a deep slumber by the irate little voice that was becoming too familiar.

  “I’ll call the police! I will!”

  I was almost vertical when Nikki slipped into the room. She smiled and stuttered, apologizing if the noise woke me up, then waved me over to the window. Darien stood on the front lawn looking up at us.

  “I told him you weren’t here, but I don’t think he believed me.”

  Of course, he didn’t. She was a terrible liar.

  “Do you want me to get rid of him?”

  “And by you, you mean Jean-Louis?”

  She nodded.

  Even if he were high as a kite, Darien would’ve been too much for her little Napoleon. The angry little man would’ve been put down in a matter of seconds.

  “No, I’ll handle it.”

  “You don’t have to. We can call the police. They’ll make him go away.”

  And Darien would’ve gotten a police record as a parting gift. “No. I’ve got it.”

  Nikki watched restlessly as I pulled on a pair of tube socks and reached for the doorknob. “That’s it? You’re going down there like that?”

  I wasn’t really big on sleepwear. I wore to bed what most folks considered workout attire. My sister didn’t approve. She shed her own robe and handed it to me.

  “Our neighbors are a little touchy.”

  “They’ve never seen arms and legs before?”

  “Mya, please.”

  I’d made her life hard enough, so I took the robe and hurried downstairs. The little dictator was pacing at the front door. He wanted to issue an order to me, but good sense kept his mouth closed. When I opened the door, Darien was standing on the doorstep.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I…I wanna see you—talk to you.”

  The morning sun fell across my eyes, and he stepped in its path to shade me from it.

  “I read your note.”

  “Good.”

  “I fucked up.”

  “Yeah.” I crossed my arms against my chest and waited to hear something I didn’t already know.

  “I slipped. Just once. But
I’ll get straight. For you. If you come back to me.”

  “I’m done, Darien.”

  He understood and chewed his bottom lip as he studied the blades of freshly cut grass that had blown across the stone pathway. “Please, Mya. Forgive me. I need you.”

  A forgiving wind blew my hair across my face, and I tucked the flyaway strands behind my ear. I’d never struggled with forgiveness. Even when logic told me the grievance was bound to happen again. I forgave anyway. I just didn’t forget.

  They arrived with a spring bouquet and their cheer-up smiles, but that didn’t last long. Nikki couldn’t possibly relinquish her title as the family wet blanket. She distracted me with talk about God never giving people more than they could handle while Mya sniffed the drink at my bedside. Once Mya had confirmed that it was indeed water and not vodka or some other clear poison, she moved on to studying her surroundings. She hadn’t been in my bedroom since before Mia was born. It looked exactly the same, minus a few details.

  Mya poked around my dresser then turned to me with a frown. “Where’s all your stuff?”

  “At Kem’s. Mostly. Where’s my little nephew?”

  “Downstairs with Mama.”

  “If you move back here, then it’ll be just like old times. Mama won’t mind.”

  Mya seemed to think it over, but Nikki interrupted with some jazz about Mama being swamped as it was with her recovering from having cancer and taking care of Nat, the twins, and now me. Not to mention, Mama wanted Aunt Clara to move back up here and everybody knew it was only a matter of time before it happened. Mama simply couldn’t handle another three mouths to feed.

  “Well, I won’t be here that long. Probably be back at Kem’s in a few days.”

  “Oh? And how is Kem?” Nikki’s fake smile asked. She stood in the corner folding my laundry. “Are you two getting married finally?”

  It was a struggle just to see out of both eyes, so I couldn’t roll them the way I wanted, but Mya made that unnecessary anyway.

  “Leave her be.”

  “I’m just saying…milk…cow…free. That’s it. That’s all I’m gonna say.” Nikki lifted the neat pile of pants she’d created and placed them into the second drawer in my dresser.

  If Kem had proposed, I probably would’ve said yes, but I wasn’t about to hold my breath. Seemed unlikely that a man who didn’t believe in monogamy would want to get married.

  “Well? How is he?”

  “He’s fine.”

  “That’s good,” she replied, smiling harder still. “You might want to give some thought to cleaning up your act. Just because your friend does something doesn’t mean you have to join in.”

  Nikki suffered from self-imposed memory loss. When it was convenient, she forgot the most obvious details about people and life just so she could impose her own version. That’s how she managed to delude herself into thinking that her own life was so fabulous, and I was the type of chick to do anything because of some man.

  “I think you’re smart enough to know that,” she was saying as she began folding my underwear.

  I glanced at Mya and said, “I think she just gave me a compliment.”

  “None of this would’ve happened if you made better choices. You’re not a kid anymore. Somebody’s gotta tell you these things, and if it has to be me then so be it.”

  “Saint Nikki.”

  “I’m just looking out for you.”

  In the most uncharacteristic fashion, Mya sucked her tongue and shook her head just slightly. Nikki was too involved in her advice to notice. Mya was the one with a bottomless well of patience. Even as kids, she had a soft spot for Nikki. Mya could listen as she droned on and on without even an inkling of irritation or agreement. Normally.

  “I’m hungry,” I announced.

  Nikki sighed and glanced at Mya before making a big show of volunteering to go downstairs. Couldn’t be a saint while people starved right in front of her. Once we heard the stairs creak, Mya sat at the edge of my bed and exhaled.

  Mya, like me, had been blessed with Mama’s figure—shapely and lean—but she wasn’t at all aware it seemed. She wore army fatigue pants and a black sweater. It wasn’t that she was hiding her body exactly, but she damn sure wasn’t trying to present it in the most attractive light. If we’d had a few more years under the same roof, I probably would’ve been a good influence on her.

  “Stop critiquing my clothes.”

  “What? I’m not…”

  She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Terrible liar.”

  “I am not. I’m a fabulous liar.”

  She laughed, dropping her head into her chest. Giving me that girl-you-so-crazy look. I didn’t mind since it was the first moment in twenty-four hours that I didn’t feel like a charity case.

  “You…umm…remember what they looked like? The guys that attacked you.”

  And just like that the moment was over.

  “Jackie?” Mya’s gaze turned hard. “Tall? Short? Black or white?”

  I could’ve lied. Given a very detailed description of men that didn’t exist. Mya wouldn’t have known the difference. She was just making conversation.

  “Do you remember?”

  I didn’t. I barely remembered leaving Kem’s apartment. The scent of cigarette smoke and sounds of a jukebox whispered to me in my dreams while fuzzy faces and lights danced around me. And then there was the cool night air.

  “Were you high?” Mya had a bad habit of asking questions that she already knew the answer to.

  “I called Kem a bunch of times, but he’s not answering the phone. Mama says he came by last night. It might be nice if somebody I trusted went to check on him.”

  Mya’s chest rose two inches then fell gently as she struggled to find her usual blank expression. But too much was going on in her head. She tilted her head left and right, stretching her neck.

  “He didn’t do anything wrong. He wasn’t even there.”

  “I know.” But the neck exercise continued.

  “And I’d never do something just ‘cause some guy told me to. Or wanted me to. I do what I want. Just like you. I ain’t a puppet.”

  Mya rose and gulped down the glass of tepid water that Mama had brought me that morning. “Nikki is,” my favorite sister finally admitted, “she lets him run her like some kinda servant.”

  In all our years, Mya hadn’t said one bad word about Nikki, but something had changed. Her black eyes seared into mine, giving me chills. It wasn’t anger exactly. Anger was hot. Mya’s stare was cool as ice. Calculating. And lethal. Somebody else might’ve been scared by the brutality that threatened to lay itself across my bedspread but not me.

  “You wanna kill him? I know where we can hide the body.”

  Mya was tickled and tempted if I wasn’t mistaken. Even so she shook her head and hit me with one undeniable truth. “Nikki would miss him too much.”

  Pink, white, gray, and blue with furry coats and happy expressions, they sat in the darkest corner of my basement tucked against Jean-Louis’s tool kit. A bag of stuffed animals. It was probably the child in me that laughed at the sight. The wife in me was finally vindicated. My husband was a good man. He’d taken the time to purchase toys for my sister’s kids. I hurried to the washing machine, leaving the load of laundry I had pre-soaked on top of the dryer and seized the bag of toys covered in a thin layer of dust. Nothing for a newborn, but then newborns didn’t need toys. I wondered if Mia had even seen a toy before. She was totally enamored by the stuffed bunny I’d given her.

  And then a life unfolded before me, a life I thought would never be mine. It suddenly all made sense. Mya was meant to come live with us. A year maybe even two, and then I’d help her find an apartment nearby. The school district was amazing, and Mia and little Alan would grow up with every advantage. Jean-Louis would be the absolute best father figure. Maybe the boy would grow up and want to be a doctor too. Happiness rarely brought tears to my eyes, but standing in the dewy basement of my immaculate home, I let them flow
freely.

  Mya sat at the kitchen counter, pouring a bowl of cereal for Mia. She hadn’t yet adjusted to her new surroundings although she hid that fact from me reasonably well. Never complaining. Never asking for anything and only taking what was offered. Now that Jean-Louis was fully on board, my sister was sure to feel welcomed in my home.

  “What?” she asked, frowning at my expression. “Laundry usually make you this happy?”

  “No.” Clearly Jean-Louis wanted to be the one to present his gifts, and I would let him. “I’m just a happy person. Happy to have my sister in my kitchen.”

  Mya gave a silent nod.

  “I was thinking…,” I began, placing a paper towel in the puddles of milk in front of Mia’s bowl. “We could get Mia a toddler bed for the bedroom upstairs, the one facing east. She’ll need a little area where she can color and play, have tea parties, and stuff.”

  Mya’s lips remained shut as she studied me, but that didn’t deter me.

  “And, of course, we’d outfit the smaller bedroom as a nursery for Alan. What colors would you prefer? Blue and white or green and brown? I’ve seen some very pretty ones in catalogs.”

  “That’s…umm…”

  “I don’t want you to worry about it. I’ll take care of everything.”

  Mya took a breath and smiled a smile that had little to do with her happiness, but it was a first step.

  “Just think about it, okay?”

  She nodded.

  “Mommy, when we go get Dee?”

  “Shh,” came Mya’s quick reply. “Eat your cereal.”

  “I save some for Dee.”

  Further proof that he was no-good for them. My beautiful little niece felt like she needed to deprive herself of nutrition for his sake. He was supposed to be taking care of her, not the other way around! I smiled as the righteous glow of God’s grace fell upon me. It wasn’t the way I’d planned, but surely he knew best. God had provided. They needed me.

  ◼︎

  David Letterman was introducing a celebrity I’d never heard of, but I could only devote a fraction of my attention to the television. I scanned the index of my book of daily devotions for a passage that would fit the day I’d had and sank into the clean bedding on my bed. Besides the occasional cry of a baby, the house was quiet. The clock flashed 11:47, marking fifteen hours since I’d laid eyes on my husband. Working such long hours made him terribly tired. When did he have time to go shopping for toys? Didn’t matter. As soon as he walked through the door, I was going to spend the rest of the night showing my appreciation.