Breaking Down Her Walls

by Erin Zak

  Julia cannot stand this woman and that gorgeous smile. “I almost fell off the back of yours, though. I don’t think this is a good idea.”

  “You’ll probably fall off this one. I’m sure one of us will try to teach you how to not be a bumbling idiot.” Elena cocks a dark, perfectly shaped eyebrow before she breezes past Julia and walks out the screen door.

  And if it wasn’t for that stupid sly smile, Julia would have been really upset by the bumbling idiot remark.

  Chapter Five

  Julia sits bolt upright in her bed when the old alarm clock next to her starts buzzing. For half a minute, she can’t remember where she is, and it makes her heart beat rapidly. And then she remembers. The cabin… It keeps happening, the not-knowing-where-she-is routine. It’s from waking up in too many different homes throughout her life. It never gets easier. She calms herself down and slides out of bed, her bare feet hitting the uneven wooden slat floor. Even though it’s not yet five o’clock in the morning, she feels fairly rested considering she was up half the night worrying about bears and thinking about Elena shooting that rifle.

  And that thought alone causes a chill to course through her body. Elena and her dark, sad eyes and beautiful smile have really gotten into Julia’s head. It’s not what she wants or needs right now. That kind of attachment is not good for her at all.

  She pads over to the window, her bare legs covered in goose bumps from the cooler morning air. The sun hasn’t risen, but she can see from the very early light that there is not a cloud for miles. The last few stars are starting to disappear. The mountains are starting to glow with the beginning of the early morning sun.

  “At least it’s beautiful up here,” she murmurs before she turns around and heads over to the dresser where she stored the few clothes she owns. As she’s pulling on a pair of jeans, she hears a knock at her door. She curses to herself and yells, “Coming!” and flies through the small cabin, approaching the door at top speed. She peers out the small window in the old, wooden door and sees Elena standing there wearing a red plaid shirt and dark blue jeans. She has that damn straw cowboy hat hanging around her neck, and aside from the pissed off expression, Julia has never seen anyone look as sexy as Elena Bennett does in that moment. “Oh, no. I must be so late.”

  “I can hear you. And you’re not late,” Elena says before the door is even opened.

  Julia unlocks the door and opens it slowly, embarrassment flooding her. She watches as Elena’s eyes take in her attire, from her white tank top, and unfortunately no bra, to her jeans that she didn’t even get buttoned yet. Her eyes rake back up Julia’s form and then land on her eyes. “Yes?” Julia asks, slightly breathless and definitely more turned on by this display than she probably should be.

  Elena clears her throat, “These are for you. I took the liberty of guessing your size in pants.” She hands over a box that says Ariat on the side and two pairs of blue jeans.

  “I have jeans.” Julia takes the items from Elena.

  “You have jeans that are not made for riding a horse.” Elena has her arms crossed now, and she’s speaking in that same tone she uses to talk down to Julia. “The inseam on these jeans is flat so it doesn’t irritate your…You know what? I’m not explaining it. Let’s just say if you don’t change your jeans and put these boots on, you’re going to regret pissing me off.”

  It’s Julia’s turn to use the pissed-off expression. “Fine.”

  Elena turns to leave. “We’re taking off in twenty minutes.”

  “Wait, we’re going to pick up the horse?”

  “Yes, Miss Finch. Horses don’t just find their way here or magically appear like this is Hogwarts,” she shouts over her shoulder as she trots down the steps and away from the front door.

  Honestly? Julia has rolled her eyes more in the last week than she has in her entire life.

  * * *

  Julia pulls her hair up into a ponytail as she leaves the cabin, slamming the door behind her. She is clad in the Wranglers that fit like a dream, tight in all the right places, and boots that are ridiculously comfortable, and she’s only slightly pissed off that Elena was right. But Julia will never tell her that. No way, no how! And just to make sure she keeps a hold on a little bit of herself, she decided to wear a black and white Ramones baseball T-shirt. She better never be told she can’t even wear her T-shirts, or she will pitch a fit. She’s carrying a Chicago Cubs baseball hat that she can throw on if need be, just in case she gets scolded for that, too, which she knows she will. She’s so annoyed already, and the sun hasn’t even risen yet.

  Elijah is standing by a very nice, very beautiful, black Ford F-250 that has an empty horse trailer attached to the back. He’s talking to Elena, saying something about staying and riding up to the west side of the ranch to check on the new fence. Elena mentions something about getting an accurate count because of the wildlife. Elena looks over at Julia as she approaches and does a double take. Julia feels her stomach bottom out and her palms turn clammy, and she wonders if Elena realizes at all how much emotion is held in her expressions.

  “Good morning, City Girl,” Elijah says. He lets out a low whistle. “Look at you. Boots and Wranglers? Who’d have thought we’d convert you so soon.” He motions to the baseball cap. “Now we gotta get you a real hat.”

  “Yeah, well, I don’t think I had much of a choice in the clothing,” Julia says and then bites her lower lip as she glances at Elena.

  “You’ll admit that I’m right one day.”

  “Doubtful,” Julia mumbles. “So, where are we headed?”

  “I’m staying here today. It’s just going to be you two that head out.”

  “Wait, what? Why?” Julia says. “I mean, don’t you need a couple people that know what they’re doing?”

  “Nice recovery,” Elena says. “I’m going to show you how it’s done, Miss Finch. Now, if you’re ready?”

  Julia watches Elena walk away. The sight causes something to stir in the pit of her stomach. The jeans, the boots, the old straw cowboy hat, the way her hair isn’t in a ponytail at the base of her skull like it has been every day since Julia got there—it makes her feel things between her legs and in her hands, and she wants to smack herself for even thinking that way about her bitchy boss. “What the hell, Elijah? You found out about my car and didn’t even tell me?”

  “Whoa, whoa, I just found out last night. What’s wrong? Where is this coming from?”

  “Elena fucking told me! She said a couple months of work! Are you kidding me? I cannot be here for that long!” Julia can barely speak without sounding shrill. “I will never survive.”

  “Settle down, Julia. Please,” Elijah says as he puts his hands on her arms to stop them from flailing about. “It’s parts related, too. We aren’t holding you captive. Your car isn’t exactly a brand new one. It takes some time here. Your car will get done, but look, it’s gonna be about three grand. Two months of work? That’s not bad.”

  “Three grand?” Julia’s heart is hurting. That’s so much money!

  Elijah smiles. “Is it really that bad here?”

  Julia shakes her head. “I hate you right now.”

  “I know you do.”

  “And you’re going to make me go with her? Alone? She hates me! And now I doubly hate you!”

  Elijah shrugs. “We don’t have enough workers for me to go with. Elena said she wanted to do this with you.”

  “You mean so she can murder me and dump my body on the side of the road,” Julia says as she looks back at the truck. “Please have some beers ready for me if I make it back alive. Or maybe bourbon? Moonshine?”

  “I will.” Elijah chuckles. “Just try not to be too city.”

  Julia looks over her shoulder as she walks to the truck. “So, don’t be myself?”

  “Exactly!” Elijah shouts over the roar of the diesel engine. He gives a thumbs-up as Julia gets inside the cab and buckles her seat belt.

  * * *

  They’ve been on the road now for
about an hour, and Julia hasn’t said a word. And neither has Elena. All Julia can think about is her car and how much it’s going to cost. The thought is nauseating. She’s trying to not focus on it, but all she hears in her head is “three grand” and “a couple months,” and it makes her want to start crying.

  She’s watching the scenery fly by, seeing more and more as the sun climbs in the blue sky. There is still so much snow on the mountains, something Julia isn’t used to seeing in the summer months. It’s breathtaking, really, the way the landscape moves and changes. And the sky…Julia has never seen anything so beautiful.

  Except, of course, when she looks at Elena, which, along with the inevitability of being trapped on this fucking ranch, is scaring the living shit out of her. Julia cannot stand that every time she sees Elena, she notices something else about her that makes it hard to focus, something else to wonder about. It’s not that she doesn’t understand or appreciate beautiful women; it’s that she doesn’t really get what’s going on inside her. She’s not supposed to get attached to anyone but especially not Elena. Not even on a friendship level. As Julia watches her flip through the radio stations a couple times, going between music stations and AM talk shows, Julia wills herself not to notice Elena’s hands. Or the way her fingers turn the volume up or how they nimbly press the buttons on the radio. Or her wrists and how slender they are with the old, beat-up gold watch that she wears every day.

  Now the radio is on an AM station, and the announcer is talking about the stock prices of soybeans, corn, cattle, and pigs. And all Julia can do is keep glancing at Elena, her stoic expression behind her sunglasses as she drives, the way she grips the steering wheel and continues to check her blind spots. It’s slightly calming how relaxed Elena seems to be, but Julia remembers that this woman next to her has made it very clear that, so far, she thinks Julia is pretty irrelevant. Or maybe relevant but a complete idiot. Either way, none of this is doing anything good for Julia’s nerves, which this early in the morning, shouldn’t already be shot.

  Julia hears Elena clear her throat, breaking the silence in the truck cab that has gone on for what seems like an eternity. “We’re headed to a ranch right outside of Winter Park,” Elena says, her voice loud in the confined area.

  Julia doesn’t know what to say in response. She’s such a fool.

  “Winter Park is a ski town. And Dusty Hearts Dude Ranch is about forty miles from the outskirts. They breed and train a lot of horses. We purchased Cole’s horse Sweetie from them.”

  Still silent.

  “Sweetie was already trained. A dream to ride, especially for Cole, who was a novice when he started.” Elena takes her sunglasses off and glances at Julia out of the corner of her eye.

  Silence.

  “Your horse will also be trained.”

  And still nothing.

  Elena lets out a very exasperated sigh. “Are you going to respond at all, Miss Finch?”

  Julia looks over at Elena just as Elena looks over at her. Their eyes lock; Julia feels her breath catch and wants to smack herself. “I’m sorry,” Julia says. “I’m a little nervous.” She watches as Elena’s face softens just the tiniest of bits.

  “What are you nervous about? Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t bite,” Elena replies with an air of sarcasm that, in a different circumstance, probably would have been funny.

  But in this circumstance, it makes Julia’s stomach bottom out. “That’s not it, Miss Bennett. It’s this whole thing. And how you, well…” She wants to finish with you hate me, but decides on, “You’re getting me a horse.”

  “It’s just a horse.”

  “Come on, Miss Bennett, it’s not just a horse. And you know it.”

  Elena smiles. She honest to God smiles! “I suppose you’re right,” she says, the smile still on her face.

  “What if it hates me?”

  “Can’t hate you forever.”

  Julia doesn’t know how to respond to that except to offer a very small smile. “If you say so,” she whispers and looks out the window. “It’s not like you’ll be the one teaching me.”

  “What do you mean? Why won’t I be the one teaching you?”

  “Because,” Julia replies, crossing her arms tighter, wishing she could just open the truck door and roll right out the cab. “Just a hunch.”

  “If there’s one thing I hate, it’s when a person doesn’t treat a horse properly.” Elena adjusts her hands on the steering wheel. “So, if you want me to, I will be the one to teach you. I can teach you everything you need to know.” Her voice trembles a bit at the end of her sentence, and Julia wonders why.

  “Don’t put yourself out.”

  “Miss Finch, if I’m offering, it means I want to do it. So, just take the help and stop being so stubborn.”

  Julia feels her face getting hotter and hotter. If there’s one thing she hates, it’s being called stubborn. And anyway, how the heck would Elena Bennett know if she’s stubborn or not? Elena doesn’t even know her! And she certainly hasn’t tried to get to know Julia. She clenches her jaw, looks straight ahead, and asks, “Are you always this fucking pushy?”

  “Ah, there we go. There is a spark in there.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “You haven’t said a word since we got into the truck. Don’t act like I don’t know you like to yammer on and on about whatever is in that head of yours. I’ve seen you with Elijah and even Cole.”

  Julia is definitely getting more and more angry. “Are you serious right now?”

  “Yes,” Elena answers, her tone so succinct it’s almost frightening.

  And that’s all it takes for Julia to snap. “Why would I talk to you at all when you think I’m worthless?” Julia licks her lips and waits for an answer but notices that she may have stunned Elena into silence. “It’s not like you’ve gone out of your way to be overly nice to me. You bringing me groceries or new pants and boots is not winning you any medals. You barely talk to me unless it’s to tell me I’m not dressed properly. I realize we aren’t supposed to be friends, but Jesus Christ, I figured you’d at least stop reminding me what a piece of shit you think I am.”

  Elena takes a few visible deep breaths and turns the truck blinker on. She checks her mirrors, then starts to pull off and steer them toward a clearing on the side of the road. When the truck comes to a stop, Elena takes her hands from the steering wheel and calmly looks over at Julia. “Do you realize that the other day when the horses got out, I was furious?” Her eyes roam over Julia’s features. “I was two seconds away from kicking you off the ranch.”

  Julia breathes in deep through her nose and lets it out slowly. “So, why didn’t you?” she asks through clenched teeth. At this point, Julia almost wishes Elena would have. “Just cut your losses?”

  “Because,” Elena says.

  “Because why?” Julia can see the contemplation on Elena’s face, how she’s studying Julia’s features. The look of fear in her eyes. The trepidation in the way she takes each breath. It’s driving Julia nuts. And Elena’s eyes are making it difficult for Julia to continue to stand her ground.

  “You,” Elena says, her voice catching. “You were wonderful that day.”

  Julia’s eyes go wide, and she feels her mouth hanging open. Did Elena Bennett just call her wonderful?

  “So, stop thinking that I hate you. Because I don’t. Far from it, in fact.”

  All Julia can hear, aside from the thud of her heart beating, is the sound of the diesel engine of the truck whirring and whirring. She swallows the lump in her throat and closes her mouth before pulling her eyes from Elena’s.

  Elena applies pressure to the brake and shifts the truck back into drive, easing them forward and back onto the road after checking her blind spots.

  Now what? Does Julia talk? Should she talk? All she wants to do is question Elena. Ask her everything all at once. For reasons Julia can’t seem to understand, she feels this intense pull to get to know everything about thi
s unbearable woman. “How long have you been a horse person?” Julia asks, unclenching her fists and taking another deep breath.

  “We do not have to keep talking, Miss Finch.”

  “I asked you a question,” Julia says. “Don’t be rude.”

  Elena glances back at Julia. The look is quick before Elena’s eyes are back on the road, but there was something there Julia can’t quite put her finger on. “Since I was a child.” Elena slides her sunglasses back on. Is it so she can hide some of the emotion that bubbled to the surface? Julia wonders how often Elena actually lets people see those emotions. “My parents owned this ranch first, and when they passed—my mother first and then my dad—I was given the responsibility to take care of it.”

  “I’m really sorry about your parents.”

  “Thank you.” Elena shrugs. “My dad was always my favorite, so his death was harder than my mother’s.” She pauses. “I have no idea why I just told you that.”

  Julia wants to say she has no idea, either, but she keeps that thought to herself. “And you love the ranch life?”

  “I do.” Elena eyes flit up to the rearview mirror, then she checks her side mirror. It’s so methodical. It’s just driving, but God, the way Elena drives is so calming and easy and attractive. “It’s really fun when things go right. When we’re fully staffed and the herding goes as planned and stock prices continue to stay up.”

  “And Cole has been in the business with you since birth, then?”

  Elena laughs. Julia isn’t sure why, but it sounds amazing nevertheless. “No, I took a break from the business.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “I moved to Miami for about five years.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Julia waves her hands and turns in the passenger seat. She instantly feels the weight between them starting to lift. “You were a city girl?”

  Another full-bodied laugh comes out of Elena’s mouth, and she rakes a hand through her dark brown hair. There’s a natural wave to it that before now Julia hasn’t really noticed. “Yes, I was.” Elena pauses, licks her lips, then looks at Julia. “Cole happened when I was in Miami.”