Of Gods and Monsters

by Susan Harris

  Donnie had kissed her then, stealing any response she might have offered or any questions that she may have asked to know what had put that haunted look on his face. Instead, she had placed her hands on his hips, pulling their bodies flush against one another.

  With a growl of lust, Donnie had kept on kissing her, backing her toward the bedroom door, with Caitlyn opening it. Once they were inside, the door was quickly shut, and then there were a lot less clothes and a lot more skin. They had spent the rest of the night and half the next morning as such.

  Now Caitlyn was sitting up in the bed, watching as Donnie slept with one hand on her side of the pillow, the other under his head. His eyes were shut, yet she could feel his emotions through the bond as he twitched. She had yet to speak to Ricky and ask what had happened, but it must have been something to send little pinpricks of sadness and pain down the bond.

  A rap of knuckles sounded at the bedroom door. Caitlyn got up from the bed, dressed quickly in a pair of leggings and one of Donnie’s tees then padded barefoot to the door and cracked it open a peep to see Melanie standing there, looking sheepish.

  Caitlyn stepped out into the hallway so as not to disturb Donnie, closing the door softly behind her.

  “I’m sorry to disturb you, but you have a visitor in the front room.”

  Caitlyn offered Melanie a warm smile. “It is all right. I was awake. If Donnie comes looking for me, would you tell him where I am?”

  Melanie nodded, then walked beside Caitlyn as she made her way down the stairs, pausing at the door of the living room when Caitlyn asked her, “Has Ricky spoken of what happened to them whilst they were gone?”

  With a small nod of her head, Melanie chewed on her bottom lip before she glanced toward the kitchen. “Just his stuff. He didn’t break Donnie’s confidence, but if what happened to Ricky is anything to go by, I think Donnie has a story to tell when he wakes up.”

  Caitlyn watched as her sired child strode away, heard her peal of laughter from the kitchen before she opened the living-room door and stepped inside.

  Marcel turned as she entered, once more dressed impeccably, his handsome face brightening when she entered. Caitlyn lowered herself into one of the armchairs that faced a roaring fire, tucking her legs underneath her as Marcel then took a seat opposite her. Caitlyn rested her cheek on her hand and smiled at Marcel, who studied her with open curiosity.

  “You almost seem relaxed.”

  Caitlyn chuckled softly. “I’m afraid that all my high lady manners have mostly gone out the window, living with all the young ones.”

  “If it means that your face is alight with happiness, then it is not something I can disapprove of.”

  Caitlyn rolled her eyes before she asked, “Why are you here, Marcel? I would have thought you would have returned to Paris.”

  Marcel leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees. “When I came to your mating ceremony, I was awash with anger. I cast aside all that you helped me achieve because you would not offer up the girl to me. Had it not been for that girl, what skills she had, both myself and Mateo would be ash on the wind.”

  Closing his eyes for a moment, Marcel then opened them, those dark brown eyes filled with sorrow. “We have both lost too much to let old vengeance ruin the friendship, the bond we shared since you took me from the streets. I wish I had not been so easy to dismiss it, but I have spent the time since our last encounter replaying that night in my head, and I am sorry for my part in all of it.”

  Caitlyn lifted her head. “Marcel, you came when I called. That was enough. Actions, they do always hold more weight than words ever do. Just like I would come anytime you asked me to, if you needed help.”

  “Then I can go back to Paris with my heart full, knowing that one day, maybe soon, you might come and visit us back home.”

  “Ireland is my home now, Marcel. My family is here. The man I love is here. Paris might be where I came from, where I survived the darkness, yet I am home here. But I may still visit one day.”

  “And bring your niece with you, if you can. I fear Mateo is quite smitten with her.”

  Caitlyn chuckled softly, a smile tugging at her lips as Marcel rose, and she followed his lead, waiting until he opened his arms to step into the embrace. She patted his back as she whispered, “You will always be part of my family, Marcel. If you should fancy ever swapping Parisian wine for Irish stout, you will always be welcome here.”

  Marcel was laughing as she showed him to the door, closing it with a firm snick, then turned to see Derek standing in the hallway. Caitlyn strode to him, then leaned against the staircase.

  “You two made peace?”

  “Yes, it appears Kenzie proved herself, saving Marcel during the fight.”

  Derek let his lips curl into a wolfish smile. “Diane was worried you and Donnie would starve, so they nominated me to check on you. You guys need anything?”

  “Not right now. I think I need to speak to my mate and not be … distracted.”

  Derek huffed out a laugh, running his hand through his hair. “Okay, but I want to run something by you both, when you have time.”

  Derek left her then to head back upstairs, where she found Donnie sitting at the edge of the bed in just his boxer shorts, his eyes staring out the window as she entered. When Caitlyn closed the door, Donnie’s shoulders sagged.

  “I don’t know how to tell you what happened. I don’t know what to say that won’t get you retreating into yourself.”

  Caitlyn carefully walked toward Donnie. “I had this feeling in my chest while you were away that I was about to lose you. That I hadn’t said all that I wanted to say. That I love you. That I would be shattered beyond repair if I lost you. That I had not told you any of that recently. Did I feel that through the mating bond?”

  Donnie was silent for a long time before Caitlyn kneeled down in front of him and rested her head against his leg. Her mate reached out and played with the strands of her hair.

  “Did Ricky tell you guys what happened during our test?”

  Caitlyn shook her head, afraid to say anything, especially when Donnie let out a relieved sigh. “I don’t want to tell you.”

  “It cannot be that bad, Donnie. We have no secrets, you and I.”

  As he continued to play with her hair, Donnie started to speak. “The compass led us to Nidhug, the dragon that guarded the forest of your greatest fears. I half expected it to be like I have to fight my way out of a pit of snakes or something, but this forest, it gets inside your head, your heart and soul and presented me with the thing I feared the most.”

  Caitlyn turned so that she was facing him, scooting back as Donnie joined her on the floor, shivering, though she knew he was not cold.

  “And what were you most afraid of, mi amour?”

  Donnie lifted his eyes, as if he needed to see her reaction as he said, ever so quietly, the name no more than a whisper between them, “Sebastian.”

  Caitlyn startled, her eyes widening. “I do not understand why you would be afraid of a dead man.”

  Donnie shrugged, and Caitlyn saw him bite the inside of his mouth, like he was trying to think before he spoke. “I know it’s not rational, Cait. But we mated quickly, and then I fucked up. I guess I felt insecure, like I was gonna be that kid again that never got adopted. Who was left alone in the home. That you would see sense and leave me, in the end.”

  With a shake of his head, Donnie continued, his fists clenching and unclenching as he spoke. “Sebastian—well, the test version—he showed me how you first met. He told me that you had too good a heart, collecting strays, and it made me feel like I was a stray.”

  “I have never made you feel that way.” Caitlyn heard the ice in her tone, tried to soften it. “You were different.”

  Donnie thumped a hand down on his thigh. “He took me to the house, your house you shared with him. I heard the easy laughter, felt the love inside that house, and it broke my heart. I felt jealous that Sebastian had that piece of you, b
ut I knew you had to go through what you did to end up with me.”

  Caitlyn blinked the tears in her eyes away before Donnie glanced at her again.

  “Sebastian offered me a choice. Let him walk into the house that night, the night he first met Cain, and none of it would have happened. You would not have suffered, and you would never know. You would never have found me in that alley and made me into a vampire. You would not have known I love you.”

  Caitlyn sucked in a breath, for a split second wondering if Donnie had failed his test. Because she was still here, with him …

  Donnie shook his head, having heard the thought in her mind. “I didn’t fail. I walked away, Cait. I left Sebastian to go into the house, even if it meant I was going to die. Even if you never knew me, I wanted you to be happy. I left Paris to walk into that street in Temple Bar and got my head kicked in. But there was no avenging angel to save me that night because you died happy as an old woman and were never reborn as a vampire.”

  Donnie held her gaze as tears began to stream down her face, and hurt flashed across his face. Silly man, darling man. Who would have given up everything for her … so she could have been happy?

  She reached for him, her mate, who darted upright and strode to the window, his back to her.

  “I’m sorry it wasn’t real. I’m sorry I couldn’t fix it for you.”

  Caitlyn got to her feet, walked over and wrapped her arms around Donnie’s waist, pressing her lips to his spine. “There was nothing to fix. I am exactly where I am meant to be. Would you have thought I would make a different choice if it was offered to me? Do you think I would have replaced the grief for my babies with my grief for you and Melanie? Non, you gave up a chance of happiness for me.”

  “But I considered not walking away, Cait. For this split second, I was selfish and didn’t want to walk away, because like I told him, as much as I felt like the other man, I didn’t want to be without you. Then I felt like a bastard because I didn’t matter, in the grand scale of things … I didn’t matter.”

  Caitlyn felt her heart break, and she wondered if it was her fault that he felt this way, that she had made it so that he thought himself insignificant in their relationship. She made to answer him when Donnie tensed.

  “And now that I have his powers to dream walk, I’m terrified that you will look at me and only see Cain.”

  Caitlyn growled and spun Donnie round so he would see her eyes and know she spoke the truth. “Cain used his powers to invade my dreams and force my will. You, my love, have seen inside my head for decades and have not once forced me to do anything when I said no. You saw inside my mind that I ached for you and still, you held me when my nightmares were too much to bear alone. Not once did you take or use that power against me.”

  Caitlyn ran her palm up his chest, her mate’s body trembling slightly at her touch. “You would never invade my dreams for what I give freely to you. My body, my heart, my soul is yours, Donnie. And if I have to spend the next century proving it to you, then so be it.”

  “But …”

  She pressed a finger to his lips. “No. The past, it happened. I died under the city I called home, but I was like a wraith, waiting to be swallowed up. I began to live the moment I happened upon a sexy-as-sin rugby player and had to make him mine, like I had done with no other before him.”

  Donnie shuddered, then lowered his head to the crook of her neck, hugging her to him. They stayed like that for an age, until Donnie stepped back, his eyes full of tears.

  “I can’t believe Erika is my aunt.”

  Caitlyn smiled, patting his chest. “I think it is a good thing to have found that part of you. I also think Erika might be happy to know that despite losing Tyr, she has a little part of him alive to call her kin.”

  “Like you and Kenzie.”

  Caitlyn smiled at her mate as she took a step back. “Exactly.” She walked over to the duffel on the floor and removed some clothing for Donnie. “Derek would like to speak to us. I’m sure it will be about the expansion, but before we agree to anything, I have something to ask you.”

  Donnie’s eyes narrowed. “Anything. My answer will always be yes.”

  Caitlyn ran a hand through her hair before leaning her hip on the dresser. “I think it is time I buried the past. I would like to sell the house in Paris. Perhaps to the family who has worked in it for generations.”

  “Don’t sell the house because of me, Cait.”

  “Non,” Caitlyn said with a shake of her head. “I have been considering it for a time. I was wondering if you would like to see the world with me? I remember you saying that you had traveled quite a lot when you were human yet had not seen many places. The war is won. I think we could do with a few months of downtime.”

  Donnie crossed the room in three strides, cupped her face in his hands and kissed her hard once before he stated fiercely. “I would walk into the fires of hell if it meant I could be with you. I would very much like to see the world with you.”

  Donnie released her only to dress, then they walked down into the kitchen, where Derek sat with a tablet in his hand, Ash resting in his other arm. Ricky was brewing coffee, slid them a mug as Melanie beamed over at them.

  Caitlyn smiled as she took her mug and sat down at the table. It had not been two years since things had started to change, when Melanie had died and become a vampire. They had been through the wars between them, yet when Caitlyn considered it, the five of them had been there at the very start, with Sarge, and it was a miracle that they had mostly come out unscathed.

  A hand fell on her shoulder, and Caitlyn glanced up at Donnie with a sad smile.

  “I’ve already got Ricky and Melanie on board, but how about you two?” Derek interrupted her thoughts and glanced up, patting a hand on Ash’s tummy as she whimpered before drifting back to sleep. “I need people I can depend on to help me get this off the ground. Sarge had a lot of plans for expansion, and now that we have the warehouse, we have the chance to bring more supes onto the force.”

  Donnie glanced at Caitlyn, letting her decide what she wanted to do. Caitlyn reached up and squeezed his hand. “Mon loupe, we would be delighted to continue the good work that P.I.T. do when we return from our travels. I have some things I need to do in Paris.”

  “You’re leaving?” Melanie asked, her tone sad, her eyes even more so.

  “For a time. But Cork is where our family is. We would not be able to stay away too long.”

  Derek nodded his head. “I’ll hold you to that. Sarge was pretty clear in his instructions that we do this as a family. I texted Erika, and she’s in, once we allow her time to check in with things in Valhalla. Kenzie will also have a place once she spends some time training with the Valkyries.”

  Ricky nudged Donnie’s shoulder as he passed. “You owe me a pint before you leave.”

  Donnie lifted Caitlyn’s hand to his lips. “Sure, Ricky. I’m sure Josephine’s is having an open mic night this weekend. We could get the band back together.”

  Ricky held out his fist for Donnie to tap, and Caitlyn lifted her gaze to meet Melanie’s, who rolled her eyes as if to say, These two.

  Caitlyn sat back and sipped her coffee as Ricky told Donnie of places he needed to visit on their travels, from Berlin to New York, offering names of bars and restaurants. Derek caught her gaze, lifted a brow.

  She lifted her mug to let him know that she was happy, her eyes falling to the sleeping child cradled in Derek’s grasp. She sipped her coffee again, her entire body feeling relaxed for the first time in what felt like forever.

  Donnie peered down at her, his eyes filled with love and devotion, and Caitlyn smiled back, hoping that her eyes told him how she felt, how much she loved him.

  His expression told her he saw it.

  His kiss told her he believed it.

  And for the first time in Caitlyn’s life, she was excited for the future, for what was to come. Her demons may have been vanquished, even if the hurt remained. Yet, with Donnie by her side
, she felt like the darkness in her soul would be quietened.

  She loved him … truly loved him as much as he loved her. Love conquered the darkness. Love had been victorious.

  And in the end, that was all that mattered.

  Ever

  * * *

  Her sword swung toward the berserker, lodging in its chest. The creature roared, spitting drool into her face that made her want to swipe it from her skin, but Ever yanked out the blade, and her next swing severed its arm. They kept coming, the berserkers. She feared the battle would not be won.

  Ever patted the rump of her horse, and it galloped away, vanishing as quickly as it had appeared. Taking off at a run, she slid under the body of another berserker and twisted her wrist to slice through flesh and bone before Erika lifted off the ground and decapitated it.

  Back-to-back, they turned, then took out two more berserkers. Ever’s head darted to the right, her eyes falling on Marcel, the vampire who had traveled from Paris to fight beside them. A berserker had him pinned to the ground, its twisted and gnarled teeth snapping as it lowered its mouth to tear chunks out of the vampire, while the other vampire with the cheeky smile tried to get to him.

  Ever was about to head over to assist when she spotted a lush mass of feathers in an obsidian color come down, the glint of metal as Kenzie swung her scythe and separated the head from its neck. The head bounced as Kenzie dropped to her feet, held out a hand to Marcel. The vampire looked like he was about to refuse, then gripped Kenzie’s hand tight.

  They shared a look, then Marcel nodded as Kenzie shot up off the ground again, grabbing Mateo’s berserker by the shoulders before she dropped it from a height and Mateo sliced into its carotid.

  Ever looked around her as Thor fought alongside Baldur, Tyr fought alongside Loki. They were beating the forces back. They had a shot at winning this.

  Then Ever heard Erika shout, her sister pointing to where Donnie squared up to Odin before the monstrous wolf appeared, seizing Odin between his jaws, and then Ever felt powerless as she watched Ricky step up to Odin with that cocky grin of his. She was even more shocked when Ricky pressed his lips to her father’s, Odin’s magic being siphoned into the energy vampire.