by T. M. Smith
Blinking, Blair looked over at his alarm clock, the red numbers mocking him. It was six in the morning, and he’d gotten maybe two hours of sleep. “Well, hell. I might as well go for a run.”
Crawling out of bed he pulled on shorts and a T-shirt, stepped into his running shoes, and grabbed his keys. Jotting a note on the grocery pad he kept on the fridge, he left it on the table so that Mannie would see it as soon as he walked into the kitchen, just in case he woke up before Blair made it back.
Running was his therapy, something Blair had picked up on at an early age. It was an outlet for the overabundance of energy he often felt, a safe place to gather his thoughts. As his legs moved, muscles and tendons carrying him fast enough that the wind lifted his hair and caressed his cheeks, he could easily sort through the jumble of knowledge constantly flooding his brain. Currently, he was split in two, almost cored in half between his worry for Rory and his feelings for a man he didn’t even know. From the moment their equally blue eyes met, a spark ignited in his chest, a flame that refused to be snuffed out. He’d known the man for less than twenty-four hours and already, Blair felt very protective of the jittery blond. But that wasn’t true—not exactly. Howard Manning Tullor Junior had been a part of his life for years, their first meeting through the Columbia River Killer case shrouded in darkness and pain, emotions conveyed through a Polaroid that showed the horror Mannie had lived with at the hands of Bruce Pearson. Blair pushed that image aside, replacing it with another of Mannie walking toward him, exiting the sliding glass doors at the airport with a smile on his pretty face.
He jogged up the steps to his apartment, chest heaving, and entered quietly so he wouldn’t wake Mannie in case he was still asleep. The adorable blond lay curled up on his side, sheets tangled in his long legs, softly snoring. Blair pulled the door closed, heading into his room to shower, smiling as he stripped and tossed his sweaty clothes into the hamper. The spray of hot water relieved the tension in his shoulders, the gears in his head already turning as he formulated a plan, ideas of what to say to get Mannie to stay for a few more days. More than anything, he wanted to get to know the person behind all that pain. Saying they needed his help with the case would be easy enough, and not technically untrue; certainly Mannie could help strengthen the case against Pearson. But he didn’t want to start their friendship—or whatever this would turn out to be—with a lie.
Climbing out of the shower when the water ran cold, he brushed his teeth, threw on some sweat pants and a clean shirt before heading out of his room, intent on cooking breakfast. The aromatic scent of fresh coffee assaulted his senses, the bleary-eyed blond sitting at his kitchen table smiling up at him so much more welcoming than the steaming mug he pushed toward Blair. “I heard you in the shower and thought I’d start coffee and some breakfast.”
“Thank you.” Blair slid into the seat beside Mannie. “Breakfast?”
“Yes, there was a roll of cinnamon buns in the fridge, so I popped them in the oven. I hope that’s okay.” Mannie’s voice quivered, the light in his eyes dimming slightly as he ducked his head and looked away.
“That’s fine, thank you.” Blair quickly defused the situation, loving the shy grin he was awarded when Mannie looked his way.
“Yeah?”
“Of course, we have to eat, right?” Blair didn’t like the uncertainty in Mannie’s gaze, but then, the young man had been through more hell in his twentysomething years than most people. “I wanted to ask you something.” Slowly, he reached for Mannie’s hand, knowing full well that the gesture could spook the nervous young man.
Blue eyes sparkling like the ocean at dawn, the hopefulness in Mannie’s features gave him the momentum he needed. “Can you, I mean would you, be willing to stay here with me for a few more days?”
Mannie studied him for a few long moments before responding. “I think I can do that, but let me be clear. I will stay here with you because you…I…you…” Usually perceptive and always alert, Mannie was obviously flustered, cheeks reddening, and he seemed to be struggling with what to say. “I like you, Blair. It terrifies me, but I do. I will stay for you, but not for the case. Bruce Pearson has taken up more than enough of my life, and I won’t give him one more minute of my time.”
Wow. Blair squeezed Mannie’s fingers. “I like you too, Mannie, and I want the opportunity to get to know you better.”
Mannie turned his hand over so their palms were touching, his smile brilliant, and Blair immediately twined their fingers together. Blair sniffed the air, his nose twitching. “Is something burning?”
“Shit, shit, shit!” Mannie jumped up and pulled the oven door open, waving the smoke away with a dish towel.
Blair flipped the fan on and stifled his laugh, certain his houseguest wouldn’t appreciate humor in response to his current predicament. “Sorry,” Mannie muttered, dropping the pan of black cinnamon rolls on top of the stove.
“No worries, I wanted an omelet anyway.” Blair waved off Mannie’s apology, heading toward his room. “There’s a really good café that delivers through DoorDash—let me grab my phone.”
“Okay, I guess, but it’s my treat.” Mannie sighed, tossing the hockey pucks into the trash.
Blair bit back the argument on the tip of his tongue, agreeing to Mannie’s request. He’d consented to staying in Texas for a few days, and Blair intended to make the most of his time, however long, with the man that captured his attention.
Chapter 12
Mannie
“Oh my God, these are delicious.” Mannie grabbed another spring roll, taking a bite and moaning. They’d spent the day sightseeing in downtown Fort Worth, and Mannie was beat. When Blair asked about dinner, Mannie begged for takeout and Blair had quickly agreed.
“There’s this amazing Vietnamese place that has the best spring rolls you will ever sink your teeth into. It’s this little hole in the wall, but the food is delicious.” Blair had handed Mannie his phone and told him the name of the restaurant to look up to do an online order, which was ready for them when they stopped to pick it up.
They were now sitting on the living room floor on either side of the coffee table that was littered with fast food cartons. They’d eaten sesame chicken, beef with broccoli, and curry shrimp as well as fried rice and lo mein; the containers were pretty much empty. And the spring rolls, they were to die for. “I think I ate too much.” Blair spoke around a mouthful of food.
“Why are you saying ‘ate’ in the past tense? You’re still eating.” Mannie chuckled. “And I have to agree, I ate way too much, but it was so good. Thank you for today, Blair. For dinner, for letting me stay here, just…thank you.” His nerves were getting the better of him again. Blair had already conveyed to Mannie with both words and actions that he liked him, wanted to spend time with him, but it was hard for Mannie to completely let go of the past. Hell, they hadn’t even kissed yet. A couple of times Blair looked to be leaning in, but Mannie would pull away. His own goddamn body was conspiring against him.
“Hey, you okay? Where’d you go just now?” Blair crawled around to Mannie’s side of the coffee table.
Old habits rearing their ugly head, he winced. “Sorry, yeah, just tired and…confused.” He avoided Blair’s gaze and stared down at his hands. The tension in his shoulders was seriously making his head hurt.
“Mannie, can you look at me, please?” There was no anger or condemnation in the sexy man’s voice. Sighing, Mannie sucked in a deep breath and lifted his head. Oh, holy hell. Blair’s eyes, reminding Mannie of the sky on a warm, breezy day, watched him carefully as hope and tenderness radiated off the bigger man’s body in waves. “I know it’s difficult for you to fully let your guard down with me, Mannie. I know about all the darkness and pain in your past. But there’s so much more to you than that. Talk to me. I promise, I won’t judge.” Blair reached for him, hesitating, his hand mere inches from Mannie’s face. Calm washed over him in that moment; the realization that Blair would never do anything to him that Mannie wouldn
’t allow was both welcome and startling.
Smiling, Mannie nodded, eyelids drifting closed as Blair’s fingers brushed his cheek. “Tell me why you’re confused, Mannie.”
“Because he said the same things, whispered the same promises, and broke every single one.” Mannie reveled in the courage he didn’t realize he possessed, being in Blair’s presence alone giving him the strength to speak his mind. He could hear the sincerity in Blair’s tone, feel the warmth of his touch. “He broke me, Blair. I don’t know if I’ll ever be whole again.”
“I know, Mannie. I hear you, but I’d still like the chance to try.” Blair’s words caught him off guard.
Blinking, he stared at Blair. “Try, what?”
Oh, holy shit. The half-assed grin on Blair’s face was entirely too sexy. “To be together, to date, whatever you want to call it.”
“Really?” He had to be hearing things, his hope for something more with Blair clouding reality.
“Yeah.” Blair nodded, scooting even closer to him. “But right now, I’d really like to kiss you.”
Heart hammering in his chest, Mannie couldn’t stop his body from flinching, the movement involuntary. “Hey, it’s okay.” Blair grabbed his hand. “No pressure, we can just talk.” Lifting his hand, Blair kissed his knuckles, never taking his eyes off him.
Was this guy for real? His response caught Mannie off guard yet again. He stared, dumbfounded for a few seconds. “Okay, uhhhh…I live in Phoenix, Arizona. I own my own business doing website design as well as cover art and logos and such for independent authors, mostly in the LGBTQ genre. I think you know everything else.” Why the hell did he feel the need to quote his résumé?
Blair tossed his head back and laughed, the sound both rich and entertaining. “All right, then…things you don’t already know about me.” Usually confident and assured, the sexy agent tapped his chin with a finger, a contemplative gesture. “I was born and raised in Astoria, Oregon. I went to both high school and college, twice.”
“Whoa, hold up.” Mannie waved his hands in the air. “Explain that before you go any further.”
Blair looked quite pleased with himself as he continued. “I was assigned to a teenager as my first witness, or job, with the Bureau, right out of the academy. My handsome features and boyish good looks put me in high school with said witness as well as college. So, not only do I have a degree in Criminal Justice and a Masters in Criminology, I was also a star baseball player that liked to smoke weed and drive fast cars.”
It was all too much, laughable in fact, so much so that Mannie fell over, tears streaming down his face as he laughed harder than he had in years. Blair grabbed his hand, pulling Mannie up, their lips mere inches apart. As easy as it would be to take the unspoken offer of a kiss, he turned away. He had to know Blair was pursuing him for the right reasons, and that proof would need more than just words and empty promises. “Are you still working that case?”
“No.” Tone suddenly sober, Blair’s eyes clouded over with regret.
Mannie reached for him. “Hey, to use your own words—look at me, talk to me.”
Blair huffed, shaking his head. “It would take all night to tell you everything, Mannie. And most of the story is not mine to tell—you’d have to talk to Taylor—he was the witness I shadowed and still, thankfully, my best friend. The short of it is, his biological father was a sociopath that killed Taylor’s mother and the man that raised him. Ten years later, he came back for Taylor.” Blair stood, turned, and disappeared into the kitchen, returning with a beer in hand. Four sentences, not even a paragraph, but Mannie knew from Blair’s body language that there was a hell of a lot more to it.
“Wait, did he die, your friend, Taylor?” Standing, he rushed over to Blair.
Shaking his head, Blair set his beer on the table by the door, pulling Mannie into his chest. With the larger man’s arms wrapped around him, Mannie felt like he could take on the world. Warm, inviting, and strong, it was very alluring. “No, Taylor is fine.” Blair held him close, nuzzling Mannie’s head with his chin. “I was injured when I entered the apartment to save Taylor. I didn’t want you to hear about the risk that comes with my job before we even get this relationship, whatever it may be, off the ground.”
Throat tight, Mannie found it hard to breathe. Wasn’t it just his fucking luck that he would find a guy that made him want to try to be in a relationship, and the guy’s job put him in harm’s way on the daily? Still, Mannie couldn’t make himself pull away from Blair. He too had almost died at the end of a blade. At least Blair had been hurt trying to protect someone he cared about. “Fucking hell, Blair. I don’t know how to process all this, it’s…well, it’s a lot.”
Fighting against the triggers in his own damn mind, Mannie slowly processed Blair’s words. In, out, in, out. He silently repeated the mantra in his twisted mind until his pulse slowed, and his eyes could focus on Blair. “How were you hurt?” The question was out there, but Mannie wasn’t entirely certain he wanted to know the answer.
Grabbing the long-sleeved Henley he was wearing by the hem, Blair pulled it off, his fingers tracing a spot near his abdomen. Mannie looked closer, the obscenely white, mottled skin a stark contrast to Blair’s olive tone. “I was stabbed, here. And I can already see your wheels turning, Mannie. Yes, my job can be very fucking dangerous. But it’s a part of me, a life I chose. As much as I care about you and want to see where we can take this obviously mutual attraction, you need to know that I’m an agent for life. If that’s a problem for you…”
Searching Blair’s eyes, Mannie slowly picked his way through every emotion he was feeling. It would be easy to admit defeat and fly back to Phoenix, never see Agent Cummings again. His heart hurt with just the thought of leaving Blair, though. “I can’t walk away from you, not now, I just…can’t.” Closing the distance between them, Mannie kissed him. It was a simple, chaste kiss, but he hoped it conveyed how he felt, hoped it showed Blair that he trusted him. And, truth be told, there was a spark when they connected.
He shifted sideways, putting some distance between him and Blair. “I’m…tired. We can talk more tomorrow.” Mannie forced his legs to move, turning and walking to the room he’d been sleeping in, closing the door behind him. He needed space and time to think, and being in the same room with Blair was a huge distraction at the moment.
Staring out the window, eyes fixed on the large oak tree behind the apartment, rain softly bathing the leaves, he thought about his life back in Arizona. Everything he needed was there with Tony, Sharon, and Zoe…with Pete in his own place but never more than a phone call away. Sure, he had good days and bad days, but he owned his own business and worked hard for what he had, for some semblance of peace. The nights were lonely, though—not having someone to warm his bed, hold him while slept, and love him the right way. Could that person be Agent Blair Cummings? More with each passing day, he truly hoped so.
Chapter 13
Blair
“Stop it, just stop,” Rory growled. Two bullets, hours in surgery, and a blood transfusion—and the wiry agent could still muster up the strength to argue with every-goddamn-body in the room. Right now Blair was up to bat. “Unless you’ve learned how to speak serial killer, I don’t think you could have known what Tuan would do, Blair. So stop with the guilt. If you say you should have done more one more goddamn time, I’ll set Brody loose on you.”
“Oh no, no no, I’m good.” He finally relented. The feisty nurse with the sparkling personality could only be handled in small doses, and Blair had more than his fair share when he’d been stabbed the previous year and spent a week in the hospital recovering.
The door opened, Connie and Claire walking in with Shannon and Rand right behind them. Rand’s little sister, Claire, had met Agent Connie Gonzales while they were still working the Columbia River Killer case, the spark between the two women was instant and intense. Much to Rand’s dismay, they’d been inseparable since.
Shannon came over and sat on the side of
the bed beside Rory, still talking to Claire about a cake—or a pie? Oh hell, who gives a fuck? Shannon reached for Rory’s hand, kissing his knuckles. “We got you one of those shakes you like from the cafeteria, babe.” Shannon took the Styrofoam cup from Rand, shoving a straw into it and holding it while Rory sucked generously. The burly detective walked around to the other side of the bed, leaning down to place a chaste kiss on Rory’s lips, snatching a quick peck from Shannon as well. That was going to take some getting used to, the three of them together. Blair could barely manage a relationship with one person, much less two. That thought brought an image of Mannie passed out in Rory’s old bed to mind and he smiled, unable to help himself.
“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Rory side-eyed him.
“Well, my partner was shot, and he’s going to be okay. Do I need a reason to be in a good mood?” Lord, he prayed Rory wouldn’t see past his bravado.
The enigmatic man in the hospital bed stared at him for a few long moments, his glare intense. “Whatever. You’re up to something and I’ll figure it out as soon as my chest doesn’t feel like an elephant is taking a nap on it.” Rory squirmed around, wincing, shushing Shannon when he started fussing about. Crisis averted, for now.
Rand had already pulled Blair aside and told him that Rory was going to Shannon’s place when he was released; the three of them were already setting up house. So he had some time with Mannie to figure out if this thing between them was real or just an infatuation. At least he hoped he did. He’d managed to talk Mannie into spending a week in Dallas with him so they could get to know one another better. In the wake of solving the Columbia River Killer case, they’d all been given some much-needed time off. Blair planned on using his to squeeze every detail he could out of Mannie about his life, his hopes and dreams. And, yes, his past. Thus far the subject had been off-limits, Mannie shutting down any time Bruce, Tuan, Seattle, or the name Tullor was mentioned.