by T. M. Smith
“Hello, Blair?” Shannon snapped his fingers.
“Huh?” He blinked. “What was the question?”
Fits of laughter overtook the room. “It’s a damn good thing this isn’t a hostage situation, Agent. Your head is in the clouds.” Con shook her head, her fingers twirling Claire’s dark hair between them.
“Whatever.” He brushed off Connie’s jibe. “You seem to be in capable hands, so I’m gonna get the hell out of dodge. But you call me if you need anything, okay?” He secured a promise from Rory before bowing out of the room and all but running to the elevator. Pulling his cell from his pocket, he fired off a quick text to Mannie while the elevator slowly descended to the parking garage.
Blair: Hey, I’m leaving the hospital now, how bout I take you out for breakfast?
The doors slid open and an elderly couple chatting about how cute their new grandbaby was joined him. Blair nodded politely, swiping the dark screen on his phone when it vibrated in his hand.
Mannie: Morning. No need to spend money, there’s stuff for omelets in the fridge. Let me know when you’re close and I’ll get them started.
One floor down, three more people politely pushed their way into the tiny silver box that was becoming quite crowded. He stepped farther back, frowning at his phone.
Blair: You’ve cooked every day that you’ve been here. I wanted to let someone else cook for a change.
He’d barely pushed Send when his phone vibrated with Mannie’s response.
Mannie: LOL! I really don’t mind. Besides, you love omelets.
Snickering, Blair shook his head, another text coming through before he could respond.
Mannie: I’ll tell you what. I’ll wait for you and we can make breakfast together, then someone else is cooking. How’s that?
Blair: :p Fine
Blair shoved his cell into the pocket of his jeans and breathed a sigh of relief when he finally reached the parking garage. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was half past ten. Good, that meant little to no traffic on the tollway, so he’d be at the apartment in no time.
***
“That was delicious.” Blair stood, grabbing both empty plates and carrying them over to the sink. The legs of Mannie’s chair scraped across the wood flooring, his bare feet shuffling into the kitchen. Blair could feel the man’s body as he came closer, a barely audible pause in movement any other person wouldn’t have noticed. He quickly dried his hands on the towel, turning and leaning against the cabinet, hands at his sides. Body language could be tricky with the young man approaching him, and Blair didn’t want to give Mannie any reason to second-guess whatever it was he was thinking that had put a twinkle in his eyes. He’d reach for the man, pull him close, and kiss him with all the pent-up need that had been building for the past few days if he didn’t think Mannie might turn and run. No, Mannie had to make the first move, and Blair was a very patient man.
He stopped when he was standing right in front of Blair, eyes searching. This close, Blair could see little flecks of gold surrounding the pupils, almost like sunflowers on a bright blue day. So many emotions staring back at him, it made him dizzy—want, need, fear, and anxiety, to name a few. “I want so much to trust you with my heart.” The low, gravelly tone of Mannie’s voice laced with a little bit of panic and a whole fucking lot of desire damn near pushed Blair past the breaking point.
Unwilling to break the trance the blond, who was quite literally breathing down his neck, was in, Blair clenched his fists at his sides to stop from grabbing him and simply nodded. Frozen in time, he watched the gears in Mannie’s head turning, certain the man was considering running for a second there, doing a little happy dance, internally of course, the moment he saw unadulterated determination replace the million questions etched into the wrinkles in Mannie’s forehead. “God, I want to believe in you, Blair.” He reached up, fingers close enough to Blair’s skin that he could feel the warmth from them. His heart hurt when he realized Mannie was hesitant to touch him—not because he didn’t want to, but because he didn’t know if he could. Mannie was waiting for permission and rather than deal with that bullshit, Blair nodded again, closing his eyes and relishing the soft brush of skin on his cheek.
A finger slid into his belt loop and Blair grinned. He could feel Mannie’s breath on his face and fought the urge to close the distance between them. The first brush of lips was gentle, searching, Mannie’s fingers gliding over his cheek. The urge to rush was razor-sharp, and Blair danced on the edge of the knife, tamping down the impulse, letting Mannie hold the reins. A hesitant tongue licked his bottom lip, and Blair happily opened his mouth. That first taste was crisp and invigorating, the heat in the room rising as Mannie dug his fingers into the nape of Blair’s neck, deepening the kiss. It was all bravado, the thinner man’s body trembling in his arms. Good lord, but he wanted to slide his fingers down Mannie’s back, grab his ass, hoist him up onto the cabinet, fit his body between Mannie’s legs, and feast on his lips—a fantasy best saved for another time. The man currently holding his face while pillaging his mouth was still far too fragile, and while Blair was certain the beautiful man would open up to him, he would be damned if he caused Mannie any more pain.
Pulling away proved to be extremely difficult, but one needed oxygen to breathe. “Mannie, I…we…” Sucking air into his lungs, Blair blinked, focusing on the man in his arms. “What do you want, Mannie? Right now, what do you want?” Regardless of the answer, their exploration of one another would go no further than sensual kisses and fingers on flesh, not yet. Mannie’s response seriously had Blair ready to do so much more, though.
“You, Blair. I just want you.”
Chapter 14
Mannie
Legs shaking, fingers twitching, Mannie rested his forehead against Blair’s, his emotions a tangled heap of want, need, and fear. He wanted Blair more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life, and that desire scared the living shit out of him. Fire danced down his spine as Blair’s fingers left a trail of heat, hands resting on his hips. “I want you too, so very much, but you deserve better than you’ve been given in the past, Mannie. You’re worth more than that.” The last few words were just a whisper, Blair’s lips brushing his softly.
“No, I’m not.” Stubbornly, he tried to step away, but Blair’s firm grip held him in place.
Eyes blazing with anger was an image that would forever be imprinted in his brain; he’d seen it nearly every day for the three long years he’d spent with Bruce. But the outrage wrapped around Blair’s expressive blue eyes like a firecracker in the sky, that wasn’t aimed toward him. No, the animosity in the sexy man’s gaze looked through Mannie, beyond him, as if turning back time to intimidate and promise retribution to a man that was no longer a part of Mannie’s life. “Yes, you are, to me.” Squinting, Blair gentled his hold, sliding his hands up Mannie’s chest, cupping his cheeks. “You deserve to be held close as you fall asleep in my arms knowing you’ll be safe, treasured, cherished. To be kissed softly at first.” Eyelids fluttering shut, Blair leaned closer, the barest brush of lips over his like a leaf swaying side to side at dusk on a gentle breeze. “Then deeper, passionately.” Blair’s strong hand grabbed him by the nape of the neck, fingers twisting in Mannie’s hair as he dove into his mouth, the kiss frantic and heady, making him feel intoxicated and dizzy.
Blair’s warm tongue traced the seam of his lips once, twice, before he pulled away, sucking in a few deep breaths. “I want you too, Mannie. Please, don’t doubt that. But this”—Blair leaned back against the counter and waved his hand between them—“is the foundation of a relationship built on friendship and trust, and I think we should take it slow. I want to continue to get to know you, Mannie, and for you to get to know me. I want to date you. Take you to see a scary movie so you can curl into my side and cover your eyes. Bring you home and make out on the doorstep like crazy, hormonal teenagers.”
Words were a double-edged sword for Mannie; they always had been. Between growing up wi
th a father and grandfather that promised unconditional love that had more wires strapped to the heart than a fucking bomb, his mother turning a blind eye, always, and winding up with a man whose belt stung far worse than his father’s while beating him and cursing him for being a fucking faggot, he’d learned the hard way that what a person said and what a person meant were usually not the same thing. With Agent Blair Cummings though, he meant the words he said, exactly as he stated them. When Bruce had said, “I want to get to know you,” what he’d meant was, “Shut the fuck up. Get naked and in my bed so I can twist you up in knots and toss you in a corner when I’m done so you can fester and rot until I’m ready to use your body again.” When Blair said, “Let’s make out like hormonal teenagers,” he meant just that. Hell, Mannie could literally see them on the doorstep of Blair’s apartment, standing on the welcome mat that read, “If you forgot the wine, go home!” exploring each other’s mouths with their lips and tongues while their fingers memorized the feel of one another’s skin.
“Hey, beautiful, you still with me?” Blair’s words echoed in his mind like a boomerang, pulling him back to the here and now.
“Wha…” Mouth suddenly dry, Mannie licked his lips, his indecision and concern slowly ebbing away when his eyes locked on Blair’s. A flash of desire sparked like a shooting star, there one second, gone the next. “Yeah, I’m here.” He grabbed Blair, pulling the man close, hugging him, inhaling his spicy, woodsy scent. “I need a few minutes. I’m gonna go take a shower and then, maybe we can talk for while?” He prayed Blair didn’t hear the uncertainty in his tone.
Strong arms wrapped around him like a warm blanket. “Of course, take all the time you need.” Blair kissed his temple and stepped around him, holding on to Mannie’s hand until they were out of arms’ reach. Falling back against the refrigerator, he held his breath until he heard the door to Blair’s bedroom close.
Mannie exhaled sharply and sucked in a few gulps of air. “Lord, I don’t know what I have ever done to warrant the attention of such a great guy. But thank you for bringing him into my life. Now, if only I could climb out of my own goddamn head, maybe I can keep him.” He huffed a shaky breath, laughing at himself.
A nice, long, hot shower would be great. But Blair would be waiting for him, and Mannie truly did want to learn more about the man that had captured his heart and made him feel…well, anything. For the first time in a very long time, he wanted to trust another man. He just prayed it wouldn’t come back to bite him in the ass.
Chapter 15
Blair
Interviewing was his specialty. Well, the Bureau and pretty much any law enforcement used the term “interrogation.” But Blair was cut from a different cloth. Walking into a room with ignorance in his eyes and a warm smile, speaking to the suspect as a person instead of a name on a file with a list of crimes and heinous acts flowing like water, had always yielded him better results. Patience and determination worked better than threats and intimidation most of the time. Spending five minutes with a person generally told you everything you needed to know, as long as you were paying attention. Body language, grammar, and connotation were strong, valid indicators of a person’s attitude and demeanor. But the most important aspect of anyone’s character could be determined by their eyes. They were the windows to the soul and for whatever reason, God designed them to be the true lie detectors of each and every human being’s personality.
When he held Mannie in his arms, his limbs were stiff and guarded until Blair kissed him softly, gently, allowing Mannie to set the pace. Slowly the younger man let go of his uncertainty, embraced Blair, and allowed himself to feel vulnerable and alive. It would have been so easy to take Mannie to his bed, to coax him into lovemaking. But Christ almighty, he deserved so much more than that. Yes, he could have forced his hand and taken Mannie; he was loose and pliable after several heated kisses. But that would make him as much of a user as Bruce Fucking Pearson, and ultimately it wouldn’t have given Blair what he wanted, Mannie in his life permanently. Whoa, what? Was that truly what he wanted?
Not having a lot of experience with guys, Blair was admittedly ignorant when it came to matters of the heart. Hell, he didn’t really have a lot of experience with either sex. There’d been a girl here and there throughout high school and college, a couple of guys as well, and a nearly two-year relationship with a fellow agent fresh out of the academy that ended when Blair couldn’t commit. Back then, that one word had sent him into a full-blown panic. Commit. Now though, thinking of a commitment with the man in the other room, likely turning every tiny detail of their interaction in the kitchen over in his mind, much like Blair was, made him smile.
The deep-seated pain he’d seen in Mannie’s eyes and felt from his touch, as brief as it was, had him second-guessing his own decision-making abilities. When the shower in the other room came on he knew he had a few minutes, so he grabbed his phone, plopped down onto his bed, and dialed Rachel.
“Yeah, what do you want?” Rachel asked, covering the phone while she shouted for her husband to come get the screaming toddler threatening to burst Blair’s eardrums.
“Nice, Sis. Real nice. Listen, I need your opinion on something.”
“Really? I’m intrigued, just a sec.” She whispered something, probably to Lloyd, and went into the garage, Blair was certain, as the noise level dropped dramatically. “Okay, I’m all ears, shoot.”
“So, there’s this guy and he’s gotten under my skin, Rach. He’s beautiful and caring, but he doesn’t even realize just how special he is. His ex really did a number on him, and he has trust issues. But earlier, we were kissing and he let his guard down for a minute and, wow, Rach. I could fall for him, I really could. But when his walls are up they are hard as steel and impenetrable. I’m being gentle and approaching him with kid gloves, but I want…more. Shit, Sis, help a guy out here. Am I doing this the right way?” Swallowing the lump in his throat left a nasty taste in his mouth. He ran into his bathroom, grabbing the mouthwash to rinse, gargling while listening for his sister’s response. Nothing. Silence. Had the call dropped?
“Rach, you still there?” Blair looked at the phone screen, the time of the call still ticking away.
“Yeah, uh, did you just say he, as in him? A guy?”
“Yeah, so?” Blair felt his hackles rising.
“Oh, no, no, no, Blair, I don’t care. That’s not it. I just didn’t realize you were, what? Gay? No, you’ve been with women, so you’re bi?”
“Yes, bi. Now, back to my question.”
“Oh, right! Suffice it to say, there’s a story there—this guy likely has a troubling past, I’m assuming just by the tidbits you’ve given me. It’s hard to point you in any direction without knowing, what’s his name?” He heard the flick of a lighter as Rachel lit a cigarette, then the deep inhale, requisite exhale, and a huge sigh of relief.
“Mannie…” As quickly and quietly as possible, he filled her in on some of Mannie’s past with Bruce, Tuan, Arizona, and the fact that he’d not only been severely abused but almost killed. He couldn’t go into too much detail, though—it wasn’t his story to tell. “Jesus, Rach, he has such a kind heart, but he’s as skittish as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”
“Damn little brother, that fucking sucks. You two need to talk, but mostly, I think he probably needs to do a lot of the talking, and you just need to listen. From what you’ve told me, I don’t think you misread any signals, Blair. He’s probably still fucked up from this Bruce guy, was that his name? Fucking piece of shit, going after a teenager like that. If that were my boy, I’d rip that son-of-a-bitch’s fucking balls off and shove them down his throat,” Rachel growled protectively. Her comment put an entirely new perspective on Mannie’s troubled past, one that Blair could truly wrap his brain around. Mannie was only fourteen when Bruce sank his claws into him, so young and impressionable. Where were his fucking parents? Blair sank down onto the bed, his heart in his throat.
“Sorry if I’m bei
ng forward, but, are you his first since that douche canoe?” Rachel’s question was wrapped in indignation.
He chuckled. “Yes.”
“Good lord, little brother. You have a long, hard road ahead of you if this relationship grows into something more than just friends. Listen to me now, Blair. I know you have the patience of a saint and you’re very good at your job, but this is a different kind of patience you’re going to need moving forward. When you interview witnesses and victims, that’s all they are to you, just a name on a page, another person that can solidify whatever case it is you’re working. It’s an entirely different ball game when there are feelings involved, Blair. You need to be prepared for that.” Lord, but he loved his sister. The concern in her voice was evident, and he could sense that it wasn’t just about him and his feelings. No, Rachel was worried for Mannie as well.
“I hear you, Rach, and I realize that, but I don’t know if that’s even an option yet. I like him, a lot, but he may decide to go back to Arizona and never consider what could be between the two of us. Right now I thought I’d just take it one day at a time.” He ran his fingers through his hair, suddenly very tired.
“Huh,” Rachel tutted. “Look at you, being an adult.”
“Fuck off,” he quipped.
“Go piss up a rope, asshole.” He heard a door open, and a cacophony of kids and a frustrated husband burst through the speaker. “Gotta go, Blair. Call me later.”
Laughing, he disconnected the call and tossed his phone onto the bed. There was a soft knock at the door. “Yeah?” Mannie peeked into the room, hair damp and hanging loosely around his face, cheeks flushed. Blair panicked for a second, praying Mannie hadn’t heard any of his conversation with Rachel.