Look the Part
Page 25
“Gaga …” I step in and shut the door behind me.
Narrowed eyes look at my reflection in the mirror. “What?”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about Lady Gaga watching us. That’s why I didn’t finish.”
“Bullshit.”
“Turn around.”
She shakes her head.
“Turn. Around.”
On a sigh, she turns, leaning against the vanity. “What are you doing?”
“Taking five more minutes to prove a point.” I squat down in front of her, pulling off her panties.
“Flint—”
I hold a shushing finger to my lips a second before shoving my sweatpants and briefs down my legs. Her gaze drifts to my erection because it’s pretty much a constant when I’m with her.
“I haven’t been with anyone but you since the day you walked into my life.” I lift her up onto the vanity.
“Flint—”
“Shhh …” I kiss her while wedging myself between her legs.
She sucks in a quick breath as I push into her. My hand finds her breast as I find a rhythm.
“Race you to the finish,” I whisper in her ear.
Elle’s lips press to my neck, pulling into a grin. I show her how much I love her. How much I’ve missed her. How much I crave every inch of her. And then I beat her to the finish, pulling her across the line just after me.
With her arms draped over my shoulders, she collapses into my chest. And because this is my life with Ellen Rodgers, the unlocked door behind me opens while I’m still balls deep.
“Grandma!” Ellen shrieks.
“Oh … dear.” She clears her throat.
I glance up at her reflection in the mirror, but she’s staring at my bare ass like fucking Lady Gaga.
“Your grandpa is using one bathroom downstairs and your dad is in the other. I really need to relieve my old bladder.” She continues to focus on my ass.
“Thirty seconds, Grandma. Just shut the door. Okay?” Ellen buries her face in my neck.
“Oh … okay.” She backs out and shuts the door.
“Oh my god …” Ellen whispers.
I chuckle, pulling out and easing her to her feet.
“Turn around.”
I raise a brow as she lifts the toilet lid.
“Just do it,” she says with exasperation.
I pull up my pants and turn my back to her while she pees … and hums. She slips back on her panties and washes her hands. We both stare at the door for a few seconds, readying ourselves for Grandma on the other side.
Ellen takes a deep breath and opens the door. Grandma smiles as we squeeze past her.
“What kind of therapy was that, Dr. Hopkins?”
She’s good.
I grin. “Just good ole sexual healing.”
Grandma purses her lips to keep from grinning and shakes her head at me before shutting the door.
“I feel very close to your grandma.”
Ellen pulls on her robe, still red from nose to toe. “You’re going to give her a heart attack.”
“I’m going to start locking that bathroom door. She just doesn’t look like the stairs are her thing.” I lean against the doorframe. “Yet, she seems to navigate them just fine when she senses we’re naked in the bathroom.”
Ellen rolls her eyes and fists my shirt while she gently taps her forehead against my chest. “It’s something with my dad’s family. A sixth sense. I didn’t tell my dad about my situation, but I have this feeling he knows.”
“You should tell him. Do you want me to tell him?”
She glances up. “No. Do you want me to tell Harry?”
“Yes.”
“Sure.” A laugh escapes at the end of her single word.
I don’t smile. I don’t blink.
“You’re joking.”
I shake my head.
“You want me to tell Harry that you got me…” she lowers her voice “…pregnant?”
“No. I want you to word it more like this, ‘Harry, I got a little carried away and now I’m pregnant and your dad is my baby’s daddy too. Please don’t blame him.’”
She opens her mouth to speak, just as my new ass admirer comes out of the bathroom.
“What can I get you two mischievous kids for breakfast?”
“Don’t worry about it, Grandma. I’ll be down in just a minute to make something.”
“Okey dokey.”
Ellen loses the smile as she returns her attention to me. “You want me to throw myself under the bus to save you?”
“You walk on water in his eyes. I’m not sure he’s truly capable of getting upset with you, especially if you make cookies.”
Her lips purse to the side. I’m not sure if I should cover my junk or run.
She shrugs. “Fine.”
“Fine?”
“I’ll tell him.”
“You will?”
“Yes. But not for a couple more months. If I miscarry, it’s all for nothing.”
I swore after Heidi died I’d never let another woman tear my heart out. Yet, here I am, letting this woman do exactly that.
“Let’s go eat.” I turn before she can see how much her words slay me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Ellen
I WATCH HIM pack his bag. Why does he have to leave? I know the answer, but my heart still asks the question.
“I hope Harry loved New York City.”
“My dad texted me a picture of him in Times Square.” He holds up his phone for me to see.
“That’s a big smile.”
“Yeah.” Flint stares at the photo for a few more seconds.
“You miss him.”
“I do. Some days I can’t wait to distance myself from him, but after a while, I miss his constant nagging and incessant talking about random stuff.”
And that’s why he has to leave. I may feel this need for him to stay, but only one of his children really needs him at the moment, and it’s not the one in my womb.
“So it’s weird that we never really discussed a plan. Do we have one?”
He zips his bag and slips on his winter coat. “I’m taking your lead on this, which seems to be a wait-and-see. So I guess we’ll wait a few months to see if you’re still pregnant.”
I flinch. “That’s a little abrasive.”
“No more so than your comments.”
“What comments?”
“The reminders that you could miscarry. The ‘all for nothing’ comment. I get the impression that we are one hundred percent contingent on this child coming into the world.”
“Well …” I say slowly. “Are we not? I left. You never contacted me until Harry and I were video chatting on Christmas—over a month after I left Minneapolis. Then you called me because you felt guilty about something you said to your dad. And you only showed up here because you thought I didn’t want this baby. What’s changed?”
“Everything!” He bites his lips together, hands on his hips as he looks up at the ceiling. “Don’t you get it? I’m not going to move Heaven and Earth to make this work and then scrap it all if you miscarry our child. For me, this is no longer about the baby.”
Everything inside of me tingles with emotion.
I want this life.
“You’re going to move Heaven and Earth for me?”
He blows a cynical laugh out of his nose. “Is that so hard to believe?”
Yes. Men love me when it’s convenient. When life is good. When they have two good hands. There’s nothing convenient about us. When Harry finds out, life might not feel so good. And Flint didn’t lose his hands, he lost something—someone—so much greater.
Yet he’s here for me.
“Do it,” I whisper. “Move Heaven and Earth.”
A painful smile pulls at his mouth. I hug him, fighting the emotions that come with goodbyes, fighting the emotions that come with loving someone so completely.
“Heaven and Earth,” he says, kissing the top of my head.
*
“No need to walk me out. Stay inside where it’s warm.”
I slip on my jacket and hat. “Not happening. Be thankful if you don’t see me chasing after your rental car like a dog.”
“Stubborn.” He shakes his head and opens the door for me.
We stand by the door to his car.
“I’m going to cry my normal tears, multiplied by one thousand because … pregnancy hormones.”
“Crying’s not necessary—oh, Elle.” He pulls me in for a hug as I blink out the first round of tears and sob at the same time.
I knew it would hit me hard when it came time to say the words.
“There’s s-so m-much I want to s-say.”
He hugs me tightly, kissing my forehead. “Then say it.”
I shake my head, fighting back more sobs. “It’s st-stupid.”
“It’s not stupid. Just say it.”
I take a few seconds to reel in the burst of emotions so I can get all the words out before falling apart again. “I love you, so don’t die in a plane crash. Don’t change your mind. Don’t sleep with another woman. Don’t think about me getting fat or getting stretch marks. Don’t ruin your relationship with Harry to be with me. But be with me. Gah! I know that sounds impossible. But …”
He kisses me. And kisses me. And kisses me until I could faint. “Heaven and Earth,” he whispers over my tear-stained face.
I nod and sniffle. “God … you sure do look the part, Flint Hopkins.” I grab the top to his jacket because he doesn’t have lapels to hold.
He grins. “What part is that?”
“My man, of course.”
“I like that part.” He kisses just the tip of my cold nose and opens the door.
“I love you.”
He slides into the seat and starts the car. “I love you too. Take care of my baby and her mommy.”
I lift my shoulders to hide from the wind. “Her?”
His lips purse as he nods. “Just a feeling.”
“Bye,” I whisper just before shutting his door. I watch him pull out, but I don’t chase after him. Harry needs him. And I love Harry. That’s what’s going to keep me going while Flint, god of my world, moves universes to be with me.
*
Flint
THE QUIET HUM of the plane mixed with the impossible decisions on my conscience makes my eyelids heavy. There’s nothing more exhausting than the unsolvable.
“You haven’t said much about Ellen.” My dad nudges my arm. “You two figure your shit out?”
I grunt, shaking my head.
“How’s her dad?”
“Better. But far from healed.”
“And Ellen? How is she?”
I glance across the aisle to my mom reading a book and Harrison, on the other side of her, leaned against the window of the plane, sleeping.
“Pregnant,” I say in a voice just above a whisper.
“What?”
I give him a long sideways glance. He heard me.
After a few seconds, he blows out a slow breath. “It’s yours?”
“Dad …”
He holds up his hands. “I had to ask.”
I get it. It’s the same question I would ask anyone else in my shoes.
“Should I be concerned that you’re on a plane going in the opposite direction of where she’s at?”
“She can’t leave her dad. I can’t leave my life in Minneapolis. The odds of this working are stacked against us, but I’m going to make it happen.” I’m going to move Heaven and Earth. “I’m not sure what the biggest obstacle will be, her dad or Harrison.”
“Don’t complicate this. Get her ass back home—with you—ASAP.”
I laugh. “You make it sound so simple.”
“It goes like this … ‘Harrison, Ellen’s pregnant with my baby. You’re going to be a big brother. She’s moving in and so is her dad. He’ll use my office for a bedroom until we build an addition to the back of the house for him.’”
“That’s insane.”
“Which part?”
I shake my head. “All of it.”
“Pull your head out of your stubborn ass and do what needs to be done.”
“I can’t just ask her dad to move.”
“Does he know about the baby?”
I shrug. “I don’t think so … maybe. Ellen thinks he suspects something.”
“He will move for her. He will move for the baby. You can get him new doctors and therapists in Minneapolis.”
Rubbing my chin, I stare out my window into the dark starless night. We must be getting close to landing, I can see some lights below.
“I wanted to tell Harrison about the accident before I brought someone else into our lives.”
“Then tell him.”
“He’ll hate me. I don’t want that environment for Ellen or her dad.”
“Then don’t tell him.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Is your need to tell him for your sake or for his? Because I don’t really see how this benefits him. It just feels like you need to clear your conscience.”
Could it be that simple? Can I not tell him? Can I move Ellen and her dad here? Whether I deserve it or not, can I have a second chance?
*
“YOU’RE HOME,” ELLEN answers her phone.
“Did I wake you?” I sit on the edge of my bed, tired from the long day of travel.
“No. Just playing with my babies.”
“Can you start referring to them as rats, since you do have an actual baby now?”
“I will not, but thanks for the suggestion.”
“Are you taking the herbs I left you?”
“The liquid weed? Yes.”
“It’s not weed.”
“Sorry. Cannabis.”
I chuckle.
“How’s Harry?”
“Good. I think New York was a little overwhelming for him. He was pretty excited to get back to his rats. I think you and Harrison officially have Amanda sold on rats for pets.”
“They’re the best.”
“They’re not.”
“Agree to disagree.”
I grin. I’m sure she has them running all over her bed right now. “Have you told your dad about the baby?”
“No. I dodged him as much as I could today. I know he suspects something.”
“Tell him.”
“What?”
“Or I will tell him if you want me to do it.”
“No. Harry may take the news better from me, but I guarantee you my dad will not take it better from you.”
“Then tell him tomorrow. I can’t have you fifteen hundred miles away from me.”
“Does this mean you have a plan?”
“Yes. You and your dad move here. He can use my office as a bedroom until I have an addition built for him to the back.”
“You’re asking my father and me to move in with you and Harry?”
“Asking? Not really. I’m just telling you my plan.”
She laughs. “He’s recovering from a stroke. His doctors and therapists are here.”
“He’ll find new ones here.”
“This is his home.”
“You are his home.”
“His parents—”
I sigh. “His parents. His boat. His friends. His favorite coffee joint. His collection of nudie girl magazines …. I get it. It’s all there. But you are having my child, and I need you here, which means he needs to be here too. Tell him you’re pregnant and let him make the decision. Don’t underestimate his commitment to your happiness.”
“Do you think we should wait a month or two?”
“No.”
“I could—”
“You could miscarry. I get that too. I’m not asking you to move here to have a baby with me. I want you … period. Get th
at through your stubborn head.”
She whispers something.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing.”
“No. Tell me.”
“I said I want this life.”
I let her words hold the space between us for a few seconds. “This life? With me?”
“Yes,” she whispers.
“Then take it. I’m giving it to you. I’m moving Heaven and Earth. Just take it. Tell your dad. Pack a bag and I’ll send a moving company to pack the rest. I’ll arrange transportation. I’ll find your dad the best doctors and therapists around here.” I rub the back of my neck. It’s tense with guilt and worry. Guilt that I don’t deserve this. Worry that the laws of the universe will figure it out and take away what I haven’t earned so that all can be right, just, and balanced again.
“Give me a month.”
I shake my head even though she can’t see me. “I’ll give you a week.”
“A week? I can’t be ready to leave in a week.”
“Then you don’t have the right people.”
“The right people?”
“Yes. Successful people surround themselves with the right people.”
“Like your lubricant messenger?”
I smirk. “Exactly. I’ll loan you my people. One week. Now get some sleep and share the good news with your dad in the morning.”
After a few seconds of silence, I glance at my phone to see if we’ve been cut off.
“Elle?”
“Yes,” she chokes out.
“Are you crying?”
“No.”
“You are. Why are you crying?”
“Gah … nothing. Hormones. And you said tell my dad ‘the good news,’ which means you think …”
“I think this baby is pretty damn good news.”
“I love you,” she murmurs.
I didn’t see this coming. In a little over three months, my life has transformed into this existence I never imagined. On my road to sobriety, there were many days I thought about ending everything. I thought Harrison would be better off without me. Sandy could raise him. My debts to this life would be paid.
And I wouldn’t have been a father to Harrison.
I wouldn’t have met Ellen Rodgers.
And I wouldn’t be getting a second chance to bring a child into this world and do it right.
I’m going to fucking. Do. It. Right.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Ellen