Rock My World

by Lauraine Henderson

  Before long, the mac and cheese was keeping warm on the stove, and J.R. had tossed a fresh green salad to make up for the carbs and calories of the main dish. Right on time, the little engine that could—as J.R. started thinking of Junior's car—made its way down the driveway and roared to a stop in front of the garage. J. R. braced for impact.

  Julianna swung open the door to the kitchen and breezed in. The day had gone well and she was certain Brad Taylor was eying her for the assistant manager opening they were trying to fill. If she could secure the position, she'd be on her way to a full-time management job which meant more money and better hours. Eight years as a cashier at Charlie's grocery store showed strong loyalty and dedication. Brad had taken her aside only last week and asked if the position interested her. Without trying to sound too anxious, she had told him that was where she was hoping to direct her career.

  Her career! What a laugh. Before she graduated from high school, she had all kinds of plans and hopes and dreams. It's funny how foolish actions could change the course of someone's life. Looking at it in reverse, she supposed there were other things she could have done and still gone to college, but she'd been broken, heartsick, and clueless about the way the world really worked. And she knew nothing of God then. Knowing what she knew now, having God in her life, she would have made different decisions. But she couldn't go back, and she was too old to go to college now. Besides, she needed the job to support herself. She was going to have to move soon, and she wasn't sure...well, no need to follow that train of thought. She would survive. She always did. And this time, she did know God, and He was on her side. It was all she had, but it was enough.

  "Hello everyone," she said to the room. Taking in a big sniff in the direction of the stove, she said, "Smells wonderful, like bacon." J.R. leaned against the kitchen counter, a grocer's apron draped over his neck. Julianna's heart revved up a little, and she looked at Sharon so he wouldn't see he had any effect on her. "How was your day, Mama?"

  "Good, good. J.R. and I went over the list. We can talk about it over dinner."

  "I'm glad you made some progress. I'll just get washed up. Is it ready?"

  J.R. grabbed three plates from the cupboard and took them to the table. "As soon as you are."

  Julianna made quick use of the downstairs bath and returned to the kitchen just as J.R. finished putting the dishes on the table. Seeing the salad, she grabbed the salad dressings from the fridge and set them next to the bowl of greens. If she could have avoided the seating arrangement, she would, but Mama's spot was taken at the head of the table and that left her facing J.R. yet again. Why, oh why did she ever tell Mama she would come for dinner every night of the renovation? Oh yeah, she thought it would be less stressful than going home after working on the house all day and fixing something for herself. Fat chance.

  Sharon said grace and they served up the dinner.

  "How was your day, dear?" Sharon inquired.

  "It was good. Brad is considering me for the assistant manager job. I think I have a pretty good chance."

  J.R. looked up but didn't say anything.

  "That's what you've been hoping for, right?" Sharon asked.

  "Yeah. I've been there the longest of any of the other cashiers, and I don't think there are too many applicants." The condemning silence from J.R.'s side of the table breathed hard on Julianna. Forcing herself to dissipate the pressure, she nodded to J.R. "I mentioned to a few people you were back in town today. Everyone wants to see you."

  "Oh," he said, sitting up a little taller as he filled his plate with the mac and cheese. "Like who?"

  "Like...oh! Manly Mac! I haven't had this in years." Julianna smiled her first unfiltered, real smile since she first saw J.R. again. "This is so good."

  "I'm glad you approve." J.R.'s clipped voice had an edge Julianna couldn't quite figure out. "Like who?" he repeated.

  "Oh, yeah, like...like Mrs. Robinson, our tenth grade English teacher." Julianna paused, trying to remember, but J.R.'s penetrating gaze bore a hole in her armor. Her heart hadn't settled down yet, and her palms were clammy. Hiding his effect on her dominated her thoughts and she couldn't concentrate on the question. "Oh, and Mrs. Young from summer camp. She's got five kids now. They are so cute. The youngest one is about two, and he's all over the place when she comes into the store. She keeps saying we need one of those babysitting booths like Kimmers in Bend. I just laugh. We're so small I don't think she understands what we would have to do to offer that kind of service. And then the little guy—his name is Tony—was screaming because she wouldn't let him have a bag of candy. And—"

  "Who else?" J.R. interrupted.

  "Oh, sorry. Um, I can't remember. I think there might have been a couple of people from high school."

  "Really? Don, Karl, Steve, any of those guys?"

  Julianna laughed. "No, they don't generally shop for groceries in the middle of a weekday."

  "Oh, sure. They're probably working. Any idea what they're doing these days?

  "Well, Don is still around, running his father's print shop now. They do a lot of ads for the grocery store. When Karl graduated from college, he moved to Salem for a new job. I think he got married there, but I'm not sure. And Steve, Stacy's hubby number one, took off after the divorce. I have no idea where he is."

  "Hubby number one? He married Stacy Smith?" J.R. took another bite of dinner.

  "Yeah, right after high school. Surprised everyone. But it only lasted about a year. You could look Don up."

  "Who else did Stacy marry?"

  Julianna couldn't help her eyes from narrowing. "Why so interested in Stacy?"

  "Isn't she your best friend?"

  "Not for a long time."

  Sharon interjected, "Stacy married Devon Ashworth and then Jim Grant."

  J.R. turned to his mama, "She's married to Jim now?"

  Julianna laughed. "Well, she was until last month. You should have seen her celebrate her divorce two weeks ago. I heard they had to call the cops to take her home from Pat's Tavern."

  "Julianna," Mama scolded, "that was just a rumor and you shouldn't repeat it. You don't gossip."

  "Sorry, Mama." Sometimes remembering her manners was hard. But she loved Mama and wouldn't do or say anything to purposefully upset her. "Anyway," she said, turning to J.R. with a wicked gleam in her eye, "She's totally available again. Maybe you'd like to become hubby number four?"

  J.R. choked on his mouthful of food and couldn't clear his throat until after several coughing attacks and almost a full glass of water. "Nice try, Junior," he finally croaked.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “I

  can start up here and you can start on the second floor. Then we'll work our way down. Mama wants the attic bedroom painted and the floor refinished." Julianna’s adamant voice echoed in the room. Julianna, J.R. and Mama had all made the trek upstairs to the third floor to look over the work to be done.

  "But Mama said she didn't mind if this was left alone," argued J.R., talking over Sharon's head.

  "It will look stupid if it's left undone. Everything else in the house will be updated and this will be left looking shabby." Julianna's voice raised a little. "No offense, Mama," she said, giving Sharon a nod.

  "Most people won't even come up this far when they look at the house initially. And when they fall in love with the rest of the renovations, they won't care, and they can do what they want with it. With three bedrooms on the second floor and two on the main floor, it will probably only be used for storage anyway. It would just be a waste of money." J.R. wasn't willing to budge on this. Mama only had a certain amount money and if they could save here, they could use it somewhere else more important.

  "You don't know that!" Visibly annoyed, Julianna rested her hands on her hips and continued, "You can't possibly know whether the people who buy this house won't have a whole passel of kids and need every bedroom."

  "I've been in the real estate business for several years. I see the trends. I know the market,"
J.R. insisted.

  "You don't know this area. You haven't been here for ten years."

  J.R. didn't need yet another reminder that he'd been away for so long. Taking a deep breath, he tried again, "It isn't worth the cost. You seem to have a real easy time spending Mama's money."

  The accusation hit its target. Julianna's eyes got big and watery. "How dare you! Do you know what I've done for her? Do you know...I can't...I can't even tell you what I've done because I promised Mama it was a way for me to pay her back for being there for me when I needed it. But you should know I've been very helpful!"

  It was another backhanded jab. J.R. crossed his arms over his chest. "I would think living in the trailer would give you some insight into pinching pennies and being more resourceful."

  "Pinching pennies? Resourceful?" Julianna practically growled. "You don't know anything about the way I've had to live. I am the poster child for pinching pennies!" Julianna's eyes radiated fury.

  "Then why can't you see the benefits of saving money here?"

  "Because that's not what Mama wants!"

  "She agreed!"

  "Stop!" Mama shouted.

  The room sank blissfully into silence, and J.R. and Julianna turned red faces toward Sharon.

  "That's enough. I feel like locking you two in this room and not opening it up until you can be civil to each other."

  "We'd kill each other first," J.R. muttered.

  Julianna's glare only fueled his fire.

  With all the calm he could muster, J.R. spoke hardly above a whisper. "What do you really want, Mama?"

  "Besides you two to get along?"

  "Yes, besides that."

  "I think we can compromise. Maybe when we paint the downstairs rooms there will be enough paint left over to paint this room, too. It's not very big and if we put one of the downstairs rugs up here to cover the bad spots on the floor, it will still look pretty good even without refinishing it. If we don't have enough paint, I think we could splurge for an extra gallon."

  J.R. thought for a few moments before answering. It wasn't a bad idea, but he just knew Junior would see it as a victory against him. "I was only thinking about your finances, Mama."

  Mama patted J.R.'s arm. "I know, son, and I'm grateful, but there's enough money to do this. If there wasn't, I wouldn't even start."

  Putting aside his animosity toward Junior, he agreed. "Okay, we'll paint up here later but not refinish the floor. When we're ready to furnish the rooms, we'll bring one of the area rugs up here to cover the floor. Okay?" he asked, staring at Junior.

  Julianna rubbed her forehead. "Fine."

  It wasn't much, but at least they had come to an agreement. J.R. sighed. "Let's go down to the second floor and go over the list again."

  Sharon nodded, and headed for the narrow stairs that led to the attic room.

  Julianna sidled up next to J.R. and whispered, "You better not shut down everything she wants, or we'll spend the majority of our time arguing."

  J.R. worked to repress a shiver at her close proximity. All through high school he hid his feelings for Junior until he thought he would burst. Then, after they were finally a couple for a few short weeks, she'd told him to get lost. His heart had shattered. He thought she could never affect him again, but the sweet scent of her shampoo and soft voice rippled through him and awakened something he couldn't control. "I don't suppose you could just let me run this project?" J.R. whispered back.

  "Not on your life," she said, a little louder as she reached the top of the stairs.

  "Junior!" his whisper shouted.

  Julianna turned on her heel and gave him her full attention. "What?"

  "Why?"

  "Why what?" she asked. But she must have known what he was asking because her gaze dropped to the floor, and her cheeks turned pink.

  "We need to talk."

  "Most worrisome four words in the English language," she said. "No, J.R., we don't need to talk. Too much time has gone by, and I've moved on.

  "You make it sound like I was the one who broke up with you."

  "Well, seen from a certain angle, you did. I just sealed the ends of the break."

  "But I don't know why you think that."

  "It doesn't matter now. And we have work to do. Mama's waiting."

  "We're going to talk about this before I leave again."

  Julianna turned again and stood on the top step. "Yeah? How's that working for you so far?" Without bothering to see J.R.'s reaction, she practically ran down the stairs.

  Julianna and J.R. began the arduous task of removing all the furniture from the rooms on the second floor. She had lost the fight of working separately, and whenever they were together, the jabs and sparks were enough to light up the reader board over the parking lot at Charlie's. She didn't believe he didn't understand what broke them up, and she had no intention of bringing it up. That road led to tears, and she had shed enough.

  The methodical exercise of scanning groceries left her too much time to think. She still had a week before her vacation kicked in, and her time at work puttered along as slow as the molasses in Mama's gingerbread cookies. The only break in the monotony was Brad's request to come see him before she left for the day, except it gave her a feeling of foreboding instead of anticipation. The meeting had to be about the assistant manager position, and she had a hard time believing anyone else in the store was more qualified than her.

  Promptly at the end of her shift, she found herself leaning against the door jamb of his office. Lightly tapping on the open door, she let him know she was there.

  "Oh, Julianna," he said, all business in his crisp, blunt manner. "Come in, and close the door, please."

  Julianna did as he requested, turned in her cash drawer, and took a seat in the tattered faux-leather chair in front of his desk. His eyes went back to whatever held their attention on his computer screen and she sat up straight like she had been called in to the principal's office at school. Nothing positive ever came from being called to the school office. He seemed nervous, repeatedly clearing his throat, his eyes darting back and forth between the paper on his desk to his computer screen. He didn't look at her at all and red flags started flying.

  "So," he began, clearing his throat yet again, "I wanted to talk with you about your application for the assistant manager's job."

  "Okaaay," she said, her concern dragging the word out a little.

  "Yes, w...well," he stammered, "we've filled the position."

  Julianna waited. Her hands clasped each other on her lap as she watched him swallow hard.

  "There was an application submitted before yours and we've decided, that is, the owner decided to offer the position to this original applicant." His huge sigh following his statement was evidence that he knew this wasn't going to go over well.

  "Before mine," she reiterated calmly.

  The calm must have given Brad courage. When he acknowledged her comment, he didn't look as nervous.

  "Someone already working in the store?" she asked.

  "As a matter of fact, no, this person answered our ad on Craigslist."

  "Someone from the outside."

  "Yes," he said. "I know you were counting on the job, but he comes with a lot of supervisory experience which the owner felt made enough of a difference."

  "Supervisory experience."

  "It's important in this job for that kind of experience, you know."

  "Just to be clear, you're saying that my experience training every cashier hired in the last four years and scheduling the cleaning crew and the warehouse crew doesn't really count. Not to mention how everyone knows me and always turns to me whenever you're not here."

  "Of course, it counted. It's just that this new guy has more experience in a bigger store and the owner felt that having someone from the outside would create a better separation between the staff and management."

  "Separation."

  "Yes." Brad's confidence waned, and he tugged at the neck of his shirt. "The owner feel
s that putting someone into the position who hasn't been a part of the staff would generate respect and obedience to the policies and rules we are required to follow."

  "And they don't feel I could bring that kind of respect to the job?"

  "It was only one of the factors, you see."

  "No, Mr. Taylor," Julianna's control of her emotions wavered, "I don't see. The other cashiers respect me. They are always coming to me with their questions. The box boys and warehouse staff respect me. They always treat me in a dignified manner. Everyone I work with is nice to me and follows my instructions when I've been assigned to give them."

  "I'm sure that's true."

  "Then I don't understand."

  "I'm sorry, Julianna. It wasn't up to me. I was only a small part of the decision."

  "Did you..." she wasn't sure she could even ask. The old saying of don't ask a question you can't stand to hear the answer to loomed in her head. But she had to know. "Did you even go to bat for me?"

  Brad looked down at his papers, his fingers lifting and tapping them into already perfect order. "Of course, I did."

  He was lying to her. Julianna could tell. Why wouldn't he have gone to bat for her? He didn't want her as his assistant? She worked hard, hardly ever took a sick day, always worked the evening and weekend shift to cover for vacations and everyone liked her! The sting of tears pierced the back of her eyes, but she wouldn't let them reach the surface. There was no use fighting it. It was a done deal.

  "When does the new guy start?" she asked, not even trying to hide the vacant sound from her voice.

  "Uh," Brad stammered. "Tomorrow."

  "I see." Julianna stood and took a deep breath. "You know I'm going to be on vacation starting next week, right?"

  "Yes, I was going to ask if you could postpone your vacation in order to train him."

  Nothing like rubbing salt into the wound. "I think instead I'll start my vacation tomorrow. Lila and Bobby can train him. You won't have any problem with that, will you?" she asked. When Brad looked up, he flinched at the anger she could no longer hide. A pinch of fear coupled with sorrow filled his eyes, and she almost felt sorry for him.