Unfolding Kiara: Second Chance Best Friends to Lovers Romance (The Unfolding Duet Book 2)

by Mahi Mistry

  I hope you forgive me.

  Ten

  28th June, Thursday

  Did I ever tell you how much I hate your best friend? I despise him. I hate Liam so fucking much.

  I . . . I wanted the pain to stop, Ethan. So, with that intention in my mind, I went to the Moonstone Bridge and yes; I was going to jump. I was contemplating my decision and obviously, my mind won. Everyone said to jump. Life would be easier and happier for all of us. I won’t have to drag you into my problems, you’d be happy with Ariana and you know how much I hate to see you sad. I had decided that I would do it.

  Be selfish for one time in my life.

  I wondered who would come to my funeral. Would you be there? Happy, that I was finally gone. Or bitter that I am dead.

  I shook my head and stopped my brain, my heart, those voices and stopped breathing. I was more than ready.

  But, of course, he just had to drive over that bridge at the same time and stop me.

  Hating myself,

  Kiara

  Eleven

  30th June, Sunday

  You ignored me when I snuck into your room today. I was hurt, but I kept myself together and explained to you I needed to be alone for two days. But I swear I saw a hint of a smile when I said that I’d brought you your favorite bundi ladoos to make peace.

  As we both bonded over the sweets, I didn’t dare to tell you about Liam. How he dragged me away from the edge. I kept hitting him and punching him, but he scolded me and dragged me to his car, locking me in.

  I had fought with him, called him things, but he didn’t listen and threw his jacket at me because my entire body was trembling. I had never seen him so red and furious. After driving aimlessly for a while and ignoring me, he stopped the car in our parking area and asked me one simple question,

  ‘Why, Kiara?’

  That’s when I looked away and cried. He stayed silent as my sobs echoed in his car. He had asked me why and truthfully, either I had many reasons or no reason at all. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t. I wanted to scream at him and tell him it was my life and it's my decision if I want to end it or not.

  But somehow, words betrayed me for the first time in my life.

  When I didn’t reply, he removed his seatbelt and hugged me. I hugged him back, crying on his shoulder as I kept muttering ‘sorry.’ What was I apologizing for, anyway? But he said nothing and let me cry. Rubbed my back, brushed my hair back which had stuck on my face and wiped the tears away.

  I kissed him. I don’t know who initiated it. But we were in his car, I was straddling him and he was holding my face in his warm hands. I kissed Liam, Ethan. It felt so good that I almost forgot why I was in his car in the first place.

  We were both blushing red when we pulled away. He squeezed my hand and told me to promise him something—that I won’t give up or try to kill myself. In return, he won’t tell this to anyone, including you—only if I tell you first.

  I knew that if I had told you I wanted to kill myself and I am suicidal, you’d never let me out of your sight. Stay by me 24/7 and make sure I get proper medication. Maybe, in the end, I would make you as crazy as me. Because who even considers that the ‘Golden Girl’ with the perfect family, perfect friends, perfect grades and perfect fucking smile is suffering from depression and anxiety? No one.

  I am not sorry for lying to Liam about the promise. Because you’re too good for me. You deserve so much better than me and it hurts that I can’t give you anything because I have nothing left! And I would do anything but see you waste your time on my already broken self.

  Sorry,

  Kiara

  Twelve

  3rd July, Tuesday

  Holy shit, Ethan!

  I can’t believe it.

  You broke up with Ariana and ended your friendship with Liam. I wanted to let you know I felt the same emotions you were feeling when you realized that the person you had feelings for was sneaking behind your back. I held my tongue because Liam and I had shared just one kiss and I am sure it meant nothing to him. I wanted to fight him and as always; you held me back.

  But I can’t believe that my stupid drunken self-told you how I felt about you. It just tumbled out of my mouth. We were dancing. We were alone. We were grinning and happy. I can still remember the way my skin scorched wherever you touched me.

  I still can’t get over the fact that I said I love you.

  Thank God you were drunk and didn’t remember it the next day. But I did. And I hid it well. There’s at least one thing I am good at.

  I am glad we didn’t kiss each other. Because I was already in panic mode when I said it and . . . I am sure I would have told you everything.

  Hai Bhagwan. That was a mess.

  Well, now you know how I feel about you. How I have always felt about you since you punched Paul Corey and bought me ice cream, kissing me on the roof with your cold lips. I didn’t tell you because it would steal you away from me as my best friend. Our friendship mattered more than a stupid emotion called love. But then Ariana happened, and you were so happy with her. So, I swallowed my jealousy with my feelings.

  I don’t want to lose you, E. That’s why I will ignore my feelings until they go away on their own. Fingers crossed.

  Love,

  Kiara

  Thirteen

  5th July, Thursday

  I guess our age and hormones are taking a toll on us.

  I had written six thousand words last night and slept at four in the morning, so I was pretty exhausted throughout the entire day. But it got worse after a little talk with Liam. He wanted me to tell you about the day I tried . . . you know what I mean. I ignored it and had to shut myself in a washroom because warm tears were sliding down my cheeks.

  In calculus, you kept me awake by poking my arm in school. Thank you, Ethan. I couldn’t stop thinking about our slow dance, my drunk confession, and not to mention you wanted to feel my breasts, which was funny.

  We saw each other naked for the first time.

  Not that it will ever happen again.

  But it was brilliant. I mean, you are the first guy who has seen me naked and by your flushed face, I could only wonder if I was the first female to see you naked. I can’t believe I saw a dick for the first time in real life. Unless you count Paul. I will not talk about it because that’d be awkward.

  We skinny dipped. We were having so much fun and I almost told you to kiss me and you would have, but Katherine interrupted us.

  I swear, I wanted to kill her for cockblocking us. But what you did at the dining table topped it off. You teased me and it was like you were a whole new person.

  I hope you were happy after teasing me and not letting me eat. That was just plain rude. But I love you anyway.

  Love,

  Kiara

  Fourteen

  9th July, Monday

  You slowed down. Again. Just when you were about to win, you let Liam win.

  Why, Ethan?

  You think if you don’t tell me, I won't know. Well, you are very wrong. We grew up together and I know when you’re lying. The pupil of your blue eye goes small like a dot, making your lid twitch on the side when you lie. Yes, I know I stare at you a lot, that’s why I know that but don’t act like you don’t like me ogling at your handsome face.

  But, ignoring that, something happened today. Between me and Liam, which got you riled up in the end. I am sorry, even though I know it won’t change anything.

  When I went to talk with Liam today, he was angry at me because I hadn’t told you about me . . . trying to end my life. He would have told you and ended it then and there. I panicked and just snapped, arguing with him as if it would have solved anything.

  I lost my mind and said that no one would care if I died. Not even . . . not even you. I know it was a low blow, but I didn’t care anymore.

  After I said that, Liam whispered to me, ‘He does,’ and pushed me in the pool.

  He was right.

  Love,

&n
bsp; Kiara

  Fifteen

  14th July, Saturday

  Well . . . we did something last night.

  I hope you don’t regret it because I can’t get our kiss out of my mind. Among other things.

  You know Katherine chose the outfit for the party and judging by your expression; I think it damn well worked. I was pumped to party after what had happened with Liam earlier that week. He had come to apologize and talk to me when you left. He wanted me to come clean and tell you about everything. But you entered before he could say anything. Thank God, you did.

  Enough about that. The frat party at Ryan’s farmhouse was wild. I am not sorry that I chose Seven Minutes in Heaven with Liam instead of a kiss with Carter. Liam said some things and as always, threatened to tell you but I shut myself off in the bathroom and then you were there. Is it bad that I am happy Liam spilled nothing to you?

  You both fought, and we made out on a bed. I am blushing just thinking about the way you cradled my face in your warm hands. My lips are tingling thinking about pressing them against yours.

  One good thing that came out of last night is that we made a deal. A very weird but good deal, nonetheless.

  Love,

  Kiara

  Sixteen

  15th July, Sunday

  Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, but she can be very truthful and honest sometimes. Like how she knows I love you and am too scared to admit it because I am too scared to ruin our friendship.

  Only if it was easy to admit what we feel and stop overthinking every decision we make. It would be so damn easy to confess my genuine feelings for you, E.

  Speaking of, you don’t appreciate my dry humor, Ethan.

  When you asked me to swim with you, I replied that I needed the swim lessons. You got that angry look on your face saying that it was Liam’s fault that he pushed me in the pool.

  But how could I ever tell you it was my fault?

  In his weird Liam way, he was trying to help me. He was right. You saved me. But it’s sad that I didn’t let you save me again as you are reading this.

  As soon as you said it was his fault, I pushed you away. Even Katherine. Because that’s all I know. Pushing away. Running away. And just . . . jumping. Which I already tried, haha.

  The truth is, I am drowning. I want you to save me again and again. I am so caught up in feeling each emotion that I don’t know what’s happening around me. But sometimes, I forget that you are a human and you need saving too.

  So, I pushed those feelings away and tried to be happy around you, for your sake. You looked so happy and sad when you talked with Eveline yesterday on my phone. I tried my best to swim around you without having a panic attack, thinking about the last time.

  Do you know how happy you looked when you were swimming? Or the time when you were cuddling with my stomach with your head on my lap? I don’t care if you put on an intimidating, angry mask for the world because you were hurt in the past by those bullies. But when you’re with me, it slips away and you turn into a beautiful, goofy guy who needs all the love he deserves.

  I am sorry that those children bullied you and I wasn’t always there for you, but I promise you I will always love you. Even when you’re reading this, I want you to know that wherever I am, I may be happy—away from those horrible voices and I will love you.

  Love,

  Kiara

  P.S. Do you know you purr adorably when I run my hand through your hair? Looking at your smile with a dizzy look on your face, I realized that I took a fart on my heart.

  Seventeen

  16th July, Monday

  Lots of things happened yesterday. I gave you a blow job, tried to do your rough sketch and when I was about to give last touches—Karan came and ruined it explaining to me how it was the worst thing I’ve ever done and showed me my mistakes. I let him. I wanted to scream at him for ruining the sketch I had worked hard on for hours.

  When I went to his room to give him a piece of my mind, I saw that he was crying. I thought Rachel was ‘The One’ for Karan, so much to my surprise when he said that she broke up with him.

  After crying with him, I realized something, Ethan. Everyone in this world is suffering from something. Life itself is suffering. But it’s our choice if we want to show our suffering to the world or not. Like me, some hide the pain behind their smile because that would make them forget about their own suffering. Even for a little while.

  Then, there are some like Karan. The bullies. Maybe in his own crazy way, he forgot about his suffering by ruining my sketch and hurting me ten times more in the process.

  You know, everything was going smoothly. I was trying to be happy with you—no; I was happy. More than happy. I found my happiness with you, Ethan. I considered this as a ray of hope. A small step ahead toward a bright and happy future. But then, there it is. Always lurking behind my happiness.

  One small step forward . . . ten huge steps backward.

  The worst part was that Karan didn’t even realize why I was crying with him, so I let him believe whatever he wanted. I was on the verge of an anxiety attack when I got back to my room. Feeling brave, I wanted to tell Karan that I was having an anxiety attack and I needed his help. When I went back to his room to tell him, I stumbled on my words.

  Before I could tell him, his friend called, and he said, ‘We will talk later. This is important.’ Guess what I did? I smiled. Brightly. When he closed the door in my face.

  I sat on the edge of my bed and I don’t know how many tears left my eyes, but I knew they weren’t enough to let anyone know how I felt during that moment. I helped him but when I needed help . . . he left me broken. He didn’t even see how numb and void my eyes were. How numb and void I was. I am.

  I knew no one would care, so I wiped the tears and grinned like I was a perfectly normal person. I mean . . . that’s what I do, eh? Pretend.

  So, pretending I am happy, I came to your room, and I hated every inch of my body as you looked at me as if there was something worth looking at. You saw past me, Ethan. Like I was transparent, and you knew what I was feeling every fucking time, and I hated that.

  So, I lied. Again.

  Telling you about Karan and Rachel’s breakup. You believed me because I was crying on your shoulder, hiding my face from you. Because I was scared that if I let you see me, you would hate what you’re looking at and you would know.

  I am sad, Ethan. So sad . . . it hurts. Why does it hurt so much?

  Maybe because I feel everything and nothing.

  Love,

  Kiara

  Eighteen

  27th July, Friday

  I don’t know if you know this, but I like you. Like crazy. It hurts me that only you can make me so vulnerable and weak. But that’s okay because I like you, you lovable fool.

  Love,

  Kiara

  Nineteen

  16th August, Thursday

  I know I haven’t been writing lately, but we were all busy with homework, projects and . . . stuff like exploring each other’s bodies.

  Did I ever tell you how much more attractive you become when you’re playing with Evey? Don’t get me started. God, your mothers have raised you so well! You know, as weird as it may seem, if I have a non-existent future, I would want a son like you.

  I just made it awkward, didn’t I?

  You must be wondering why I pushed you yesterday when you told me to take some rest after a long evening with Eveline. I wanted to save my virginity till marriage, even though I know how cliché it sounds. The feeling of becoming one soul with a person you love, cherish, worship, the one you call husband. Cherishing each other’s bodies, not because of lust, but because of love.

  Ethan, I was ready to give up my virginity to you, rather than anyone else. I was ready. Far more than ready, physically and emotionally. But when you said that you wanted me to take a rest, the sick part of me thought you don’t like me that way. Or didn’t want to have sex with me.

  Everything came crum
bling down and all I could think about was the negative part of it. I couldn’t see that you really cared about me, and not just because of my body.

  But fuck me for having a mini anxiety attack. It’s three in the morning right now and I can hear you shuffling in your room. I could hear Eveline cry faintly and without even seeing you, I know you are holding her in your arms and soothing her to sleep.

  I don’t regret anything that happened between the two of us, E. I really hope you feel the same.

  Love,

  Kiara

  Twenty

  17th August, Friday

  I can’t believe we had sex. Wow. I still feel that it was all just a dream. Let me pinch myself—

  Well, it was real. I mean, we stayed up all night. Having sex, cuddling, laughing, dizzy talking. To be honest, the first time was a little uncomfortable, but soon we practiced enough to know why the world was so obsessed with sex. It was so euphoric and you lose calories without working out!

  But I hated how you teased me on my weird penguin walk. My, oh my, was I sore? Still, it was a good kind of sore. Not painfully sore, if you know what I mean. I am rambling, sorry.

  If I said I loved you before then, I think I am more than in love with you after yesterday. The rose, the ‘I am Jedi!’ lightning neon condom, your main purpose to make me comfortable, making me laugh and your gentleness after we did the deed, everything you did makes my heart flutter.

  I am made for your love, Ethan Kane.

  Love,

  Kiara

  Twenty-One

  20th August, Monday