If You Lived Here You'd Be Home by Now

by Christopher Ingraham

  Epilogue

  At the outset of our trip it wasn’t clear how long it would all last. I had pitched my editors on a year, maybe two, who knows. Thankfully, they hadn’t set any preconditions regarding my return. But the longer we’ve lived here, the more it seems clear that yes, we’ll actually be staying here for good. Or at least for the foreseeable future.

  As I write these words the twins are in kindergarten. I can hear Briana and William laughing outside, in the snow, from my office window. Every minute we’re able to spend together here, as a family, is a reminder of the time we’d be forced to be apart if we were back in the city. With each passing day that old life becomes more unimaginable.

  When people and places halfway across the country are just a mouse click away on your computer, it’s easy to assume that we live in a nation made small and manageable by technology. But living in a place like Red Lake County, hours away from any major metro area, is a reminder that in much of the country, the rhythms of daily life are still markedly different than the coastal city grind of long commutes and high-octane jobs.

  As somebody whose job is to write about “data” writ large, I’m a big believer in its power—better living through quantification. But my relocation to Red Lake Falls has been a humbling reminder of the limitations of numbers. It has opened my eyes to all the things that get lost when you abstract people, places, and points in time down to a single number on a computer screen.

  The government’s natural-amenities index captures the flatness of midwestern farm country quite well, for instance. But it misses out on so much about that landscape: the sound of the breeze rustling the grain or the way the wheat catches the light at different times of day, the dry-sweet smell of a field full of sunflowers.

  Yes, that natural amenities index accurately captured the flatness. The summer heat. The bitter winter cold. But it doesn’t tell you how a family can keep itself warm through the coldest of winters by building igloos and sledding down the town hill. Or how the vast winter night’s sky shines with the light of thousands of stars that people who live in cities will never know. It doesn’t tell you about the warmth put off by a big roaring fire in a town park at the darkest time of the year, how the light dances on the faces of the people gathered around.

  Briana and I have lived together all over the country, including in New York, California, Vermont, and Maryland. But we’ve never lived in any place quite like this.

  Most important, the data do not capture how moving to a place like this can be a life-altering experience for kids—for our twins, now six, who’ve now spent more birthdays in Minnesota than they did in Maryland. Or for little William, now two—a soul as dear to me as anyone I’ve ever known. There would have been no William had we stayed in Maryland. This whole new dimension of our lives, of familial love, would have remained shut off from us had we stayed there. Worse, we would never even have known what we were missing.

  Here there is space for families to play, grow, expand. Space that doesn’t exist where life is circumscribed by commutes and high costs and the presence of thousands, of millions of other people. If you keep a fish in a small crowded tank it will grow up stunted and tiny, never attaining its true natural size. Part of me believes that people are the same way, that we need space, room to explore and grow, a certain distance from our neighbors.

  In that respect, at least, the Midwest has quite literally broadened our horizons.

  One of the big dangers of our glorious, new, quantified world is the emergence of a type of numeric stereotyping—of insights hardened into dogma by the weight of a thousand datasets.

  We “know,” for instance, that Mississippi is poor, that New York City is expensive, that Chicago is violent, and that Red Lake County is ugly. These things are, of course, true in the aggregate sense, or in comparison with other places.

  But each of these numbers and rankings masks infinite nuance behind their finite limits. They overlook the thriving communities in Mississippi, the inspiring stories of tenacity and triumph in Manhattan, and the people quietly working to make Chicago’s streets safer.

  And they can’t, of course, capture the quiet peace of an evening spent by the bluffs of the Red Lake River, watching your sons giggle as they toss sticks in the current while dragonflies dance overhead.

  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it one more time: it takes a place as small as Red Lake County to drive home just how big this country really is.

  Acknowledgments

  This book would not have been possible without the contributions of the following people:

  USDA economist David McGranahan, who in 1999 compiled the Natural Amenities Index, quietly planting the seeds of data that would upend my life sixteen years later;

  Zach Goldfarb, who as my editor at the Washington Post in the summer of 2015 was surprisingly amenable to nearly every wild story idea I threw at him;

  The anonymous individuals behind the Indignant Minnesotan Twitter account, who fanned the initial flames of polite outrage in response to my original story on Red Lake County;

  Every indignant Minnesotan who wrote to me in defense of the beauty of their state in the summer of 2015, of whom there are far too many to mention individually;

  Every indifferent North Dakotan who did not write to me in the summer of 2015 despite their state’s poor showing on the Natural Amenities Index, which served as a tacit confirmation that Minnesota really is someplace special;

  Jason Brumwell, whose cordial invitation convinced me to actually visit the place I had trash-talked in the pages of a national newspaper, and who’s done so much since then to make me feel at home here;

  Dick Brumwell, who’s worked so hard to ensure I experience everything Minnesota has to offer, from corn shocks to ice fishing;

  The rest of the Brumwell clan, including Ryan, Kristin, Steph, Joe, Heather, and Wade, who have truly become our Minnesota family;

  My mom, whose spirit of adventure spurred us to move here to begin with;

  My dad, who inspired me to become a writer;

  My agent, Rafe Sagalyn, who shepherded this book from idea to proposal to first draft;

  My editor, Sara Nelson, who shaped my messy manuscript into a coherent narrative;

  The publishing team at HarperCollins, including Jane Beirn, who’s done so much to get the word out; Mary Gaule, who’s patiently guided me through the publishing process; Hannah Bishop, for her invaluable logistical work; and Christine Choe for her social media expertise;

  Editors and managers at the Washington Post, who were shockingly receptive when I pitched them on moving out of D. C. and into the middle of nowhere;

  Missy and Danny Maurstad, who showed us the true meaning of Minnesota kindness;

  Jim Benoit, for his always-entertaining bullshitting;

  Larry Eukel, for welcoming us to the neighborhood and rescuing our idiot cat that one time;

  John and Sandy Klein, for helping make our dream of a Minnesota home a reality;

  Rob and Alice Conwell, for introducing us to the northwest Minnesota arts scene;

  Jack, Charles, and William, who inspired Briana and me to seek a better life to begin with;

  And Briana, for being my steadfast partner throughout this long, ridiculous, beautiful adventure.

  Bibliography

  Prologue

  Berry, Brian J. L., and Adam Okulicz-Kozaryn. “An Urban-Rural Happiness Gradient.” Urban Geography 32, no. 6 (2011): 871–83.

  Pew Research Center. “Political Polarization in the American Public.” June 2014. Accessed March 4, 2019. https://www.pewresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2014/06/6-12-2014-Political-Polarization-Release.pdf.

  United States Census Bureau. “New Census Data Show Differences Between Urban and Rural Populations.” December 8, 2016. Accessed March 4, 2019. https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2016/cb16-210.html.

  ———. “QuickFacts: Red Lake County, Minnesota.” Accessed March 4, 2019. https://www.census.gov/quickfacts/re
dlakecountyminnesota.

  United States Department of Agriculture. “Natural Amenities Scale.” Last modified February 26, 2018. https://www.ers.usda.gov/data-products/natural-amenities-scale/.

  Chapter 1

  Cook, Philip J. Paying the Tab. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2007.

  Ferguson, Todd W. and Jeffrey A. Tamburello. “The Natural Environment as a Spiritual Resource: A Theory of Regional Variation in Religious Adherence.” Sociology of Religion 76, no. 3 (2015): 295–324.

  Glaeser, Edward L., Joshua D. Gottlieb, and Oren Ziv. “Unhappy Cities.” National Bureau of Economic Research, 2014. https://www.nber.org/papers/w20291.

  Glaeser, Edward L., and Kristina Tobio. “The Rise of the Sunbelt.” Taubman Center Policy Brief, May 2007. https://www.hks.harvard.edu/sites/default/files/centers/taubman/files/sunbelt.pdf.

  Helliwell, John F., Hugh Shiplett, and Christopher P. Barrington-Leigh. “How Happy Are Your Neighbours? Variation in Life Satisfaction among 1200 Canadian Neighbourhoods and Communities.” National Bureau of Economic Research, May 2018. https://www.nber.org/papers/w24592.

  Kanazawa, S., and N. P. Li. “Country Roads, Take Me Home . . . To My Friends: How Intelligence, Population Density, and Friendship Affect Modern Happiness.” British Journal of Psychology 107, no. 4 (2016): 675–97.

  Kwon, Diana. “Does City Life Pose a Risk to Mental Health?” Scientific American, May 20, 2016. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/does-city-life-pose-a-risk-to-mental-health/.

  McKinney, Matt. “Minnesotans Seeing Red over Washington Post List of Desirable Counties to Live In.” Minneapolis Star-Tribune, August 20, 2015. http://www.startribune.com/washington-post-reporter-says-minnesota-is-ugly-minnesotans-politely-beg-to-differ/322350791/.

  Rietmulder, Michael. “Minnesota’s Red Lake County Named America’s Worst Place to Live.” City Pages, August 19, 2015. http://www.citypages.com/news/minnesotas-red-lake-county-named-americas-worst-place-to-live-7577959.

  United States Census Bureau. “American Community Survey.” Accessed March 4, 2019. https://www.census.gov/programs-surveys/acs.

  ———. “QuickFacts: Oneonta City, New York.” Accessed March 4, 2019. https://www.census.gov/quickfacts/fact/table/oneontacitynewyork/PST045217.

  United States Department of Agriculture. “Census of Agriculture.” Accessed March 4, 2019. https://www.nass.usda.gov/AgCensus/.

  Chapter 2

  Graf, Nikki. “Most Americans Say Children Are Better Off with a Parent at Home.” Pew Research Center, October 10, 2016. http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/10/10/most-americans-say-children-are-better-off-with-a-parent-at-home/.

  Ihrke, David. “Reason for Moving: 2012 to 2013.” United States Census Bureau, Last modified June 2014. https://www.census.gov/prod/2014pubs/p20-574.pdf.

  Lucas-Thompson, Rachel G., Wendy A. Goldberg, and JoAnn Prause. “Maternal Work Early in the Lives of Children and Its Distal Associations with Achievement and Behavior Problems: A Meta-Analysis.” Psychological Bulletin 136, no. 6 (2010): 915–42.

  Chapter 3

  Ford, Carmel. “Number of Bathrooms in New Homes.” NAHB Eye on Housing, December 7, 2017. http://eyeonhousing.org/2017/12/number-of-bathrooms-in-new-homes/.

  Ingraham, Christopher. “Lawns Are a Soul-Crushing Timesuck and Most of Us Would Be Better Off Without Them.” Washington Post, August 4, 2015. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/08/04/lawns-are-a-soul-crushing-timesuck-and-most-of-us-would-be-better-off-without-them.

  United States Department of Health and Human Services. “Adolescents and Tobacco: Trends.” Last modified September 23, 2016. https://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/adolescent-development/substance-use/drugs/tobacco/trends/index.html.

  Chapter 5

  Harvard University. “Project Implicit.” Accessed March 4, 2019. https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html.

  ICPSR. “Uniform Crime Reporting Program Data: County-Level Detailed Arrest and Offense Data, United States, 2014.” September 12, 2017. https://www.icpsr.umich.edu/icpsrweb/ICPSR/studies/36399.

  Ingraham, Christopher. “It’s Not Just Rand Paul’s Street: Americans Are a Lot Less Neighborly than They Used to Be.” Washington Post, November 7, 2017. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/11/07/its-not-just-rand-pauls-street-americans-are-a-lot-less-neighborly-than-they-used-to-be.

  ———. “The Most Racist Places in America, According to Google.” Washington Post, April 28, 2015. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/04/28/the-most-racist-places-in-america-according-to-google/.

  Moore, Peter. “Obama Isn’t the Only One Who Doesn’t Lock the Door.” YouGov, September 30, 2014. https://today.yougov.com/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2014/09/30/obama-isnt-only-one-who-doesnt-lock-doors.

  Opportunity Insights. “The Opportunity Atlas.” Accessed March 4, 2019. https://www.opportunityatlas.org/.

  Chapter 6

  Belluz, Julia. “The Historically Low Birthrate, Explained in 3 Charts.” Vox.com, May 22, 2018. https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/5/22/17376536/fertility-rate-united-states-births-women.

  Ingraham, Christopher. “The Absolute Best Place to Grow Up in America.” Washington Post, June 24, 2016. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/06/24/the-absolute-best-place-to-grow-up-in-america.

  ———. “Start Saving Now: Day Care Costs More than College in 31 States.” Washington Post, April 9, 2014. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/04/09/start-saving-now-day-care-costs-more-than-college-in-31-states/.

  Lam, Onyi, Brian Broderick, and Skye Toor. “How Far Americans Live from the Closest Hospital Differs by Community Type.” Pew Research Center, December 12, 2018. http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/12/12/how-far-americans-live-from-the-closest-hospital-differs-by-community-type/.

  Mackin, Amy. “How My Autistic Son Got Lost in the Public School System.” Atlantic, January 3, 2013. https://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2013/01/how-my-autistic-son-got-lost-in-the-public-school-system/266782/.

  National Trust. “Jock VI of Chartwell.” Accessed March 4, 2019. https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/chartwell/features/jock-vi-of-chartwell.

  Stone, Lyman. “American Women Are Having Fewer Children than They’d Like.” New York Times, February 13, 2018. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/13/upshot/american-fertility-is-falling-short-of-what-women-want.html.

  Chapter 7

  Harveson, Robert M. “History of Sugarbeets.” Accessed March 4, 2019. https://cropwatch.unl.edu/history-sugarbeets.

  Kilgannon, Corey. “For Hunters in the Woods, a Quiet Killer: Tree Stands.” New York Times, December 22, 2017. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/22/nyregion/for-hunters-in-the-woods-a-quiet-killer-tree-stands.html.

  Li, Yong-Xiang, Torbjorn Tornqvist, Johanna M. Nevitt, and Barry Kohl. “Synchronizing a Sea-Level Jump, Final Lake Agassiz Drainage, and Abrupt Cooling 8200 Years Ago.” Earth and Planetary Science Letters 315–16 (2012): 41–50.

  United States Department of Agriculture. “U.S. Sugar Production.” Accessed March 4, 2019. https://www.ers.usda.gov/topics/crops/sugar-sweeteners/background/.

  United States Fish & Wildlife Service. “National Survey—Overview.” Last modified May 2, 2018. https://wsfrprograms.fws.gov/subpages/nationalsurvey/national_survey.htm.

  Chapter 8

  Bloch, Matthew, Larry Buchanan, Josh Katz, and Kevin Quealy. “An Extremely Detailed Map of the 2016 Election.” New York Times, July 25, 2018. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/upshot/election-2016-voting-precinct-maps.html#8.22/39.225/-78.231.

  Bump, Philip. “Donald Trump Will Be President Thanks to 80,000 People in Three States.” Washington Post. December 1, 2016. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/12/01/donald-trump-will-be-president-thanks-to-80000-people-in-three-states/.

  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Firearm Mortality by State.” Accessed March 4, 2019. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/sosmap/firearm_mortality/firearm.htm.

 
Kalesan, B., M. D. Villarreal, K. M. Keyes, et al. “Gun Ownership and Social Gun Culture.” Injury Prevention 22, no. 3 (2016): 216–20.

  McCourt School of Public Policy. “The Lugar Center, McCourt Unveil 2017 Bipartisan Index.” Accessed March 4, 2019. https://mccourt.georgetown.edu/bipartisan-index.

  Minnesota Secretary of State. “Election Results.” Accessed March 4, 2019. https://www.sos.state.mn.us/elections-voting/election-results/.

  Winchester, Ben. “A Rural Brain Gain Migration.” University of Minnesota Extension. Accessed March 4, 2019. https://extension.umn.edu/economic-development/rural-brain-gain-migration.

  Chapter 9

  Pete Boulay. “The Mysterious July 4th Snows of Minnesota.” Minnesota Climatology Working Group. Accessed March 4, 2019. http://climateapps.dnr.state.mn.us/doc/journal/july_snow.htm.

  National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. “National Snow Analyses.” Accessed March 4, 2019. https://www.nohrsc.noaa.gov/nsa/.

  Rao, Maya. “For Snowmobilers, 2014 Was a Deadly Year.” Minneapolis Star-Tribune, January 6, 2015. http://www.startribune.com/for-snowmobilers-2014-was-a-deadly-year/287426421/.

  Tweet by @mberkowski, December 28, 2018, https://twitter.com/mberkowski/status/1078632108208386048.