Seduced by the Soldier

by Melia Alexander

  Besides, she hadn’t been entirely sure she’d be able to figure out the train schedule and allotted enough time in case she ended up headed somewhere funky—like Belgium. God knew that had been entirely possible.

  She hoisted her bags onto the escalator that led to the airport terminal entrance, careful not to sideswipe the swarm of nuns that had joined her on the moving walkway.

  Really, it was a good thing she was doing this travel thing on her own. Sure, Jackson would follow her around and be her assistant whenever he got the chance—that’s what big brothers were for. But in those instances when she had to do stuff on her own, knowing how to navigate the world was a big plus.

  She just wished she had the help of one hot-looking, well-traveled, Army Captain.

  Chapter Thirty

  “What’s up with you?”

  Blake looked up from the stack of papers he’d had his nose buried in for most of the morning. “Good morning to you, too, asshat,” he replied as Jackson entered the office Blake had temporarily commandeered and plopped onto one of two uncomfortable chairs parked in front of Blake’s desk. “You’re back.”

  “If you’d open your text messages, you’d see that I came home three days ago.” Jackson slouched against the chair back, a sure sign there was some serious shit going down.

  “Can’t be anything with Uncle Sammy or I’d have gotten something official, too.” He carefully capped the pen he held, almost sure he knew why his best bud was in his borrowed office at six a.m. on a Saturday morning, out of uniform.

  Jackson cocked his head to one side. “You too good for me now?”

  “Why the hell would you think that?”

  “You’re avoiding me.”

  Not exactly. More like Blake was avoiding Zandra. Anything that Jackson was doing socially, outside a guys’ night, meant that there was a good chance his sister would be close by. And while it’d been a week since Europe, Blake wasn’t in any mood to see Zandra again. Not so soon, anyway.

  “Since you’re likely to PCS out of the states, I thought you’d be doing something other than burying yourself in paperwork.”

  A permanent change of station was exactly what he needed, and the move couldn’t come soon enough. He raked a hand through his hair. That’s what he wanted. It was a chance to up the training for a new batch of Special Forces soldiers, a chance to teach them skills to keep them safe, a chance to make a difference in this crazy world.

  “You making an offer?”

  “How about something fun like camping out by a lake or hiking Mt. Rainier?”

  Hanging at a lake sounded like a good idea. Preferably one with the Swiss Alps surrounding it and a gorgeous woman sitting next to him, feeding the swans.

  Not helpful, buddy.

  “Can’t. Don’t have the time.”

  “Well, you coming to Anthony’s tonight? To celebrate Zandra’s promotion at Flights and Sights? She’s pretty stoked.”

  He stopped and blankly stared at the paperwork in front of him. She’d worked so hard, and he was so damned proud of her. But the last place he wanted to be was somewhere he wasn’t wanted. “Can’t. Got too much going on.”

  And that’s what he’d been doing since getting back—burying his nose in paperwork, taking care of business, exactly the way he was supposed to.

  Too bad things weren’t the same. He used to get off on doing things better, faster, turning out quality soldiers ready for field experience. Now…well, things were just different. Not that he didn’t care about all that. He did. Life just wasn’t the same since he’d come back from Germany, which was insane. He was tracking forward, toward law school and the career he’d always wanted.

  But a big part of him felt like it’d been left in that Stuttgart hotel room.

  Blake squared his shoulders and sucked in a deep breath. He was taking care of his responsibilities to his mother, to his sister, and to himself. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all.

  Not long ago, he’d have sworn it was all he’d ever wanted. Now he wasn’t so sure…

  “Do you even know where you want to head to next?” his best friend interrupted, snapping Blake back to the present.

  He tapped his fingers on the worn wood desk. “No. Maybe.”

  “That’s decisive.” No missing the sarcasm in his best bud’s voice.

  “Japan’s a possibility.” Blake shrugged. “New training team, best equipment, easy access to home. You know, in case Mom needs me.”

  With the added benefit of the Pacific Ocean separating him from Zandra.

  Blake stared across the desk at his best bud. “You know, the more I think about it, Japan’s looking pretty good.”

  That was logical. And right now, to get where he wanted, logic had to trump everything else.

  …

  Zandra glanced around the restaurant at the close-knit group of people who’d loved and supported her for as long as she remembered. “Thanks for coming by, everyone.” She grinned and waved, exchanging hugs and pleasantries.

  “We knew you could do it, Zandra!”

  “You’re definitely on your way!”

  “When’s the e-zine issue coming out? I need to subscribe.”

  This was it. All her hard work coming to fruition. This was what she’d wanted, what she’d dreamed of, for years. Through every accounting class and summer bookkeeping jobs through college, through the realization that none of it appealed to her, through the knowledge that these people loved and supported her decision to become a full-time photographer.

  “Tell everyone about your next assignment.” She glanced up and caught her father’s proud smile.

  “You earned it, sweetheart,” her mother added.

  That her parents had turned out to be more supportive than before was an added bonus.

  Zandra sucked in a deep breath, still proud, but the giddy feeling not half as strong as she’d once thought it would be. “They’re flying me to Guam.”

  “Guam? Where is that? Sounds exotic,” someone asked.

  “It’s in the South Pacific.” Truthfully, she’d had to Google the location of the easternmost U.S. territory, barely a dot on a world map. There was a lot of ocean between Seattle and the tiny island.

  She sipped her beer. Cold. Not warm like the Germans drank it.

  Well, with any luck, she’d end up on assignment in that part of the world again one day. She looked around the table at the crowd of family and friends who chatted, ate, drank, and celebrated with her. For the moment, she’d bask in her next assignment.

  “I saw Blake today,” Jackson said beside her.

  At her brother’s words, Zandra froze, blinked, then slowly lowered her bottle. “Oh?” She forced a smile. “He’s still in Seattle?”

  They hadn’t talked about his next duty station or when he’d leave, and now she couldn’t stop the curiosity insanely tracing through her.

  “Yeah.” Jackson frowned. “I told him he should be here tonight. You know, since he played tour guide and all.”

  “Yeah?” Her heart hammered, and she had to force herself not to look toward the front of the bar, forced herself not to look for Blake.

  “Yeah. He said he was too busy.” Jackson eyed her as he took another swig of beer then swallowed. “It makes me wonder what the hell happened in Europe, but it’s warring with a part of me that swears I don’t really want to know. Watching you two in that live was bad enough.”

  She straightened in her seat and stared him down. What happened with her and Blake was none of her brother’s business. “You should listen to that part of you.”

  Jackson narrowed his gaze and opened his mouth like he wanted to say something then changed his mind. He nodded a moment later.

  Europe was a done deal, wasn’t it? She needed to quit looking back because that’s not where her future lived.

  S
he took a deep breath and smiled, forced herself into the present and the band of people who’d shown up to celebrate with her. “This next assignment is a bonus, of sorts, even though I’m still new.” Right along with the nice financial one she’d been given. The real bonus was when her editor had made it clear that Zandra was destined for exciting assignments.

  She frowned even as she quelled the sharp longing in her chest. She was getting everything she wanted, and it somehow wasn’t half as great as she’d once expected.

  Because she couldn’t share any of it with Blake.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  All things considered, life in Japan was pretty good.

  Blake was training a new batch of soldiers, the weather was pretty decent, and in the three weeks since he’d arrived at the military base in Okinawa, he’d made two trips into Tokyo, once to scope out the temples he’d finally gotten his mother to admit she’d wanted to see, and now to meet up with her while she was on summer break.

  Despite his suggestion, Constance Monroe had insisted she hadn’t needed to drop her backpack off at the Airbnb before hitting the sights. Then again, getting his mother to change her mind about anything often took a great deal of time and patience, both of which had seemed to be in short supply these days.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” His mother laid a gentle hand on his, the touch soothing much as it had when he was a little boy and she worked two jobs and still managed to be patient with him.

  He looked up from his tea cup and traced a thumb over the delicate etching on its side. “Yeah, why?”

  His mother’s shrewd eyes narrowed slightly. “You haven’t said much since I got here.”

  “Sorry.” He dragged in a deep breath and regarded the woman to whom he owed all that he was. “Just a bit tired.”

  “Seems to me I’m the one who should be tired after crossing a few time zones and sitting for more than ten hours.” She straightened in her seat when he didn’t offer a response. “Don’t get me wrong, Blake, because I’m glad to be here, but you’re the one who insisted on this trip.”

  “I thought you’d said you’d always wanted to visit the Tokyo temples.”

  “Not all thirteen thousand of them,” she said drily. “And certainly not all in one day.” She raised her teacup and sipped. “I would’ve been just as happy chilling—as you kids call it—after my exams last week.”

  Of course she would have. She never complained and didn’t ask for much. It’s one of the many reasons her being here was so important to him. “You’ve worked hard, Mom. You’ve earned this time to visit temples or do whatever you want.”

  “At the risk of sounding ungrateful, what I wanted most after that brutal quarter was to sleep.”

  “Sleep?” He raised an eyebrow. “You can’t be serious.”

  She lifted a corner of her mouth in a crooked smile. “Sleep. Not that I’m going to get much of it once I start my hospital residency, but I figured I should grab some while I can.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “What? That I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself? That I’d make it to Japan one day? That I got through chemistry and physiology without your help, so I could most certainly find my way around Japan—or any country—just fine without you?” She tilted her head. “Would you have believed me?”

  He raised an eyebrow. Would he have believed her? He’d vowed as a kid to do everything he could to protect his mom, to help her achieve her own dreams since she’d sacrificed so much to give him and his sister a shot at life. He’d been willing to do the same for Zandra. “Yes, I know you’re capable of taking care of yourself, Mom.”

  She gave him a small smile then relaxed against the wooden chair. “You have something on your mind.” His mother stared. “Tell me about it.”

  He tapped his fingers on the table and stared out the window. Maybe his mother was right. The more he thought about it, Zandra didn’t learn the train system until he’d had to practically duct tape his mouth and not tell her what to do when they’d left the goat farm for Stuttgart. If he hadn’t interfered all the other times, she’d probably have caught on much more quickly.

  “I’ve been a total ass,” he muttered, slumping forward. “A complete and total ass.”

  “Now I think you’re being a bit dramatic, Blake.”

  He shook his head. “You don’t understand. I took that away from her.”

  “Who?” The gently asked question made him sit up. He searched his mother’s eyes.

  “Zandra,” he finally said, watching her closely.

  True to form, she didn’t pry, didn’t ask complicated questions, but simply said, “Go on. Tell me what’s been happening.”

  Some guys would never swallow their pride or bare their souls to anyone, let alone a parent, but his mother had never let him down. Ever. He trusted her to have his back as much as he trusted his battle buddies.

  “It all started when I met Zandra in Germany. Back when she’d gotten her first assignment for that e-zine.” Blake let it all out, from the way he’d admired Zandra’s work ethic, her insistence on perfection from each shot she took, to the hours she spent editing the photos she’d taken, to even the time she’d spent posting things on social media.

  He told his mother all of it, right down to Zandra’s resilience when someone had stolen her camera lens, to the way she’d tried and tried and tried to figure out the train schedule until she’d finally nailed it on her last day in Germany.

  “So what happened that’s got you all upset?” she quietly asked when he’d finished.

  He looked up from the tea that had grown cold long ago.

  “Nothing. She just… It’s just…” What the hell was he even trying to say? That Zandra tended to tie him up in knots? That the time they’d spent together was more special than he’d thought possible? That the thought of not seeing her smile again, touching her, laughing with her ate at him so hard that he was having trouble sleeping?

  If he were really fucking honest with himself, it was the realization that he’d willingly give up what he wanted for his life for someone who was his polar opposite.

  He spiked a hand through his hair and sucked in a deep breath. He was thoroughly fucked.

  “She’s special,” his mother finally supplied. “Am I right?”

  He glanced up. “She is. And that’s where I fu—umm, screwed up.” He ducked his head and tapped his fingers on the wood table top. “She’d taken some amazing photos, stuff I don’t think I’d ever seen before. I mean, it’s like she’d touched the soul of whatever she was shooting, whether it was people dancing or a piece of chocolate.”

  “I understand she’s really talented.”

  “She is.” He continued drumming his fingers on the table. “But afterward, when we were back in Seattle, I found out about the recognition she’d earned from Flights and Sights, that they’d given her a bigger assignment, and I didn’t support her. I didn’t acknowledge her success, I didn’t even send her a text. I…” He looked away. Confessing this to his mother was beyond embarrassing and something he had to do. “I ignored her.”

  “Why? That’s not like you.”

  “Because I’m scared, Mom, scared of what’d happen if I turned my focus from what I want to do with my time and bent to someone else’s wants.” He sucked in another deep breath and tried like hell to stay grounded. “I mean, think about it. First chance I get, I’m headed to law school, which means staying put. Meanwhile, Zandra’s just starting her career, one that she’d been dreaming of for years. She wants to travel, to take pictures all over the world. How could I ask her to give that up? Ever?”

  “Law school?” She sat up, a frown on her face. “You want to go to law school? How did I not know this?”

  “Ummm…well…” He scrubbed a hand over his face. Now he’d gone and done it. He hadn’t planned on sharing anything
with his mother until after her graduation day.

  “Blake, tell me the truth. How long have you wanted to go to law school?”

  He glanced up and caught the no-nonsense look on her face. No way could he lie to her now. “Since I was a kid.”

  “Then why in the world did you insist on helping fund my college plans? You and your sister both swore you wanted military careers. Why didn’t you go after your dreams first? Because I’m assuming Lily doesn’t want to stay in the Army, either.”

  “You’ll have to ask her.” He made a mental note to text his sister. She was probably still doing drills in Australia and wouldn’t get his message anytime soon. “Look, you’re our mom, and you gave up a lot for us.” He swallowed deeply but forced his voice to remain even. “You’d just started college when Dad died. You gave all that up and made sure there was a roof over our heads and food on the table. You helped put us through college, too. Now it’s your turn. You deserve a shot at making your dreams come true.”

  “And you don’t?” Her shoulders slumped as her eyes searched his, and he had the uneasy feeling this convo wasn’t ending anytime soon. “Oh, Blake, ever since you were young, you’ve been taking care of everyone else instead of doing what you wanted. My God, you even learned how to cook so that you were better than I was by the time you were fourteen.”

  What did she expect him to do? Let her do it all on her own? “You were busy, you held down two jobs, so I helped where I could.” He shrugged. “Besides, it was either that or starve.” He grinned, hoping the conversation could be diverted to safer topics. “So which Japanese temple would you like to see next?”

  “You took care of your sister,” she said, clearly ignoring his attempt to steer the conversation. “You held a job when you were in high school, you didn’t play sports like the other kids, and through it all, you never complained.”

  “I learned that from you.” He flashed her another grin. “So how about that next temple, huh?”