The Rancher's Return

by Kathy Douglass

She shook her head. Elias had no problem suspending reality when it came to superheroes. But when it came to the whimsical? He became very literal-minded. “You never know.”

  “But—”

  Elias was about to launch into a long, logical argument but Donovan put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. “Never argue with a woman. You won’t come close to winning. If she wants to believe her stuffed toys have feelings, you should just nod and agree.”

  “But she’s wrong.”

  Donovan winked at Elias. “It makes her feel better to believe it. Okay?”

  “Whatever.” Elias shrugged. “Can I go with my friends? We want to ride the bumper cars.”

  Raven nodded. “Be nice and be careful.”

  “I will.” Elias and the other boys raced away, leaving Raven alone with Donovan.

  She took the teddy bear from the young man running the game and hugged it close to her chest. When she looked up, Donovan was watching her. “What?”

  “You still have that bear I gave you?”

  “Yes.” They’d gone to an amusement park in Charlotte and he’d won it for her by tossing rings onto empty soda bottles. He’d spent over twenty dollars on tickets before he’d won, but she’d wanted the bear and he’d been determined that she have it. When Donovan had driven her home, he’d told her the bear would watch out for her while she slept and remind her that he would always love her. That bear had been one of the few links she’d had to him these past years and she could not imagine parting with it.

  He nodded as if satisfied with her answer. “I can carry your prize if you want.”

  “And have everyone think you won it?”

  “You don’t have to worry about that. There’s not a person in this place who didn’t hear your victory cry. And I’m sure Elias has bragged to anyone who missed it.”

  “In that case, be my guest.” She handed off the stuffed animal and they walked toward the area filled with rides. As they neared, the music of the carousel grew louder. Children carrying half-eaten cotton candy with ice cream stains on their shirts darted from place to place, high on sugar. Their haggard-looking parents trailed after them.

  “This has been fun,” Donovan said.

  “Yes it has.” She’d been worried about how it would feel to be around him again, but surprisingly she’d been comfortable. It was like old times minus the hand-holding and stolen kisses. She wasn’t going to let down her guard and give him free access to her heart again, but she was willing to put aside her anger and try to become friends for Elias’s sake. And though Donovan didn’t know the woman she had become over the past decade any more than she knew the man he’d become, they had been good friends as kids even before they’d fallen in love. They’d had a solid basis for rekindling that friendship.

  They reached the bumper cars and watched Elias and his friends crash into each other, laughing with glee every time. When the ride was over, Elias walked over to them, his feet dragging. “Kenny’s mom and dad said it’s getting late and he has to go home.”

  “I was thinking the same thing,” Raven said.

  Donovan and Elias groaned simultaneously and then laughed together. And to think she’d worried about how the two of them would get along. She shouldn’t have wasted her time. They got on like a house afire. After a few cautious attempts at conversation, Elias and Donovan had discovered a mutual love of comic books. As they’d munched on corn dogs and walking tacos, they’d rated the various superheroes.

  “How about one more ride before we go?” Donovan asked. Elias pleaded with his eyes for her to say yes.

  “Fine. One ride.”

  Donovan and Elias looked at each other. “The roller coaster.”

  “I’ll sit this one out,” Raven said. She’d been shaken and rattled enough for one day.

  As they walked the short distance to the ride, Donovan and Elias picked up their conversation about superheroes.

  “If you could have any superpower, even if it’s not one that real superheroes have, which one would you want?” Elias asked.

  “I’m not sure. Let me think on it for a minute. Which one would you want?”

  “I would want to be invisible,” Elias said promptly. “I could go everywhere I wanted to go and nobody would see me.”

  “That’s true. But people might step on your foot and bump into you. That wouldn’t be good.”

  “I could still see them, so I would get out of the way. Plus when it was time to do chores or math homework I would disappear so Mom couldn’t see me.”

  Donovan laughed and Raven shook her head.

  “And at night I could read as long as I wanted and Mom wouldn’t be able to tell.”

  “Sure she would.”

  “How? I’d be invisible. She wouldn’t be able to see me.”

  “Maybe you’d be invisible, but the book wouldn’t be. Your mom would see a book floating in the air and the pages turning.”

  “Yeah. I forgot about that.” Elias kicked at some gravel in the road. “So what power would you want, Donovan?”

  “Time travel.”

  “You mean like see the future? That would be good. I could use that to know the problems that my teacher was putting on my math test ahead of time. That way I could get an A.”

  “Or you could study,” Raven added dryly.

  Elias rolled his eyes at the very idea. Apparently the notion was too ridiculous to warrant a comment.

  “I wouldn’t use the power so much to see the future. I’m good with being surprised about what might happen. I would use the power to go back in time and change the past. I would do things differently and avoid some problems. I wouldn’t go to the places I’d gone to or see the things I’d seen.” Donovan sounded so somber that Raven knew he wasn’t just making silly conversation to entertain Elias. He was serious. And she wondered just what he’d seen that he wished he hadn’t. Did it have anything to do with why he’d disappeared so abruptly and stayed away so long?

  “But if you change the past, then now would be different,” Elias said.

  “I know. I’m good with that.”

  “But what if you weren’t around somewhere that you should have been? What if you saved somebody in the past? If you weren’t there, that person might have been hurt.”

  Like Amelia. She’d needed him that night. If he hadn’t been there, her life would be different. She might not be the vibrant woman she’d become. “I hadn’t thought of that. Maybe it’s a good thing we don’t have superpowers.”

  “Well, it’s a good thing you can’t go back in time and mess up things. It still would be great for me to be able to be invisible.”

  Raven and Donovan looked at each other and laughed. They’d reached the front of the line for the roller coaster so Donovan gave her back the bear. He and Elias boarded, strapped in and pulled the metal bar over their thighs. After all the cars were loaded, the ride started to move and riders cheered in anticipation.

  Raven stepped back and sat on a bench to wait, enjoying the minute to sit and people watch. She waved to a couple of folks she’d gone to school with and let some little kids pat her teddy bear. Five minutes later Donovan and Elias returned and they wandered to the parking lot. All in all, it had been a good outing. If things went this smoothly every day, co-parenting was going to be a breeze.

  They reached her car first. Elias said goodbye to Donovan then hopped inside. Donovan placed the teddy bear in the back seat and then leaned against the driver’s door. “I had a nice time. Thanks for letting me hang with you.”

  She nodded. Suddenly this felt like the end of a date and she was unsure what to do. Donovan solved that problem by moving out of her way and opening the door for her. He held it as she got inside and then closed it firmly. As she drove away she looked in the rearview mirror. He stood there alone, watching them leave.

  Would he be happy to stay
on the outside or would he try to shoehorn himself into their lives? And just how far was she willing to let him in?

  * * *

  Donovan stared at the phone for a long moment before he set it on the patio table. That was unexpected. Yesterday things had gone so well with Raven that he’d called and asked for pictures of Elias. He couldn’t get back the years of Elias’s life that he’d missed, but if he could somehow experience them in pictures, that would take away some of the sting. He didn’t see the harm but apparently he’d overstepped. Raven had shot him down, telling him that if he’d wanted to see Elias grow up, he should have stuck around. Then she’d hung up the phone before he could say another word.

  Of course, there was nothing he could have said to that anyway.

  “Trouble?”

  Donovan looked up. He hadn’t noticed his parents’ approach. “Not really.” He didn’t want his parents worrying about him. They still watched him more closely than they had when he’d been sixteen. Their fear was as understandable as it was frustrating.

  “How was the carnival?” Lena asked as she settled into a chair. The early afternoon sun provided sunlight without excess heat and the cool breeze was the perfect touch to a great day. He’d missed these pleasant days when he’d been in Texas. Now he cherished every moment he spent in the North Carolina weather.

  “It was fun.”

  “I’m glad you and Raven are getting along. I always liked her.” Lena sighed. “The two of you made such a cute couple.”

  He could see where his mother was going with this and stopped her in her tracks. “We were kids then. A lot of water has gone under that bridge. She’s engaged to Carson Rivers. There’s no going back for us, so don’t start trying to turn my life into one of those romantic movies you’re always watching.”

  “Carson’s a nice man but he’s not right for her. Now that you’re back you can help her see that.”

  “Lena. Leave the boy alone. He can find a girl on his own.”

  “I’m sure he can. All I did was remind him of how well they’d always gotten along. And they do have a son.”

  “Lena.”

  “Okay. I won’t say another word about Raven. I’m sure he remembers how sweet she is. And he’d have to be blind not to see how pretty she is.”

  Donovan and his father exchanged glances. Clearly his mother was not going to be deterred. She was going to point out all of Raven’s virtues one way or the other. Not that he’d missed them. But since she was getting married soon, they just didn’t matter.

  Mario stood and held out his hand. “Come on, Lena. It’s time for our walk.”

  Lena smiled and took her husband’s hand. For as long as Donovan could recall, his parents had taken long walks around the ranch every Sunday afternoon, weather permitting. His father had told him once that carving out special time for the two of them was the glue that held their marriage together. That and communication.

  Listening to his parents’ voices as they walked away, Donovan wondered if he was making a mistake by not calling Raven back. They would never get anywhere if they didn’t communicate. Not that he expected them to restart their romance. She was in love with another man and he was still adjusting to this life and trying to find a way to put the one he’d left behind in Texas behind him.

  No matter how happy he was to be home, he missed Texas and the friends who’d become like family.

  Della and Gabe Turner had become surrogate parents, their children his siblings. Not that he would ever say that out loud. The words would hurt his parents. He’d already caused them enough pain. He’d have to figure out this problem on his own.

  Chapter Eight

  Raven twisted the sponge as if she were wringing out the devil before slamming it on the sink. She blew out an exasperated breath. She knew she was sending Donovan mixed signals but she couldn’t control the anger that reared its ugly head at unexpected times. One minute she was happy to be with him and the next she was recalling how much time she’d lost because of him and she’d become short-tempered and mean.

  After the great time she’d had with him at the carnival, she’d actually believed she was over her anger. She’d been deluding herself. She was furious over the pain she’d endured the past ten years. The enjoyment that she’d missed. The friends she’d lost touch with because she couldn’t think of anything except him. Although none of it was his fault—he wasn’t responsible for her actions—he could have prevented it. All he’d had to do was let her know he was alive and well and she could have moved on. That he hadn’t done so infuriated her and filled her with resentment.

  And he’d had the nerve to ask for pictures of Elias. If he’d been around he could have taken pictures himself. He could have been in some pictures. And he wanted to have copies of hers? Not in this lifetime.

  “Want to talk about it or do you want to torture that poor sponge some more?” Raven’s father’s amused voice startled her.

  She must have looked a sight, mumbling to herself and throwing things. She turned around, intending to tell him no. The concerned look on his face made her change her mind. She didn’t have to hide her feelings from her father. He would listen without judgment or criticism. Unlike her mother, he didn’t claim to know what was best for her. If she asked for advice, he would offer it. If not, he would kiss her cheek and tell her the answer was within her. She only needed to trust herself.

  She pulled out a chair and sat. “I’m angry. I know it’s irrational and I shouldn’t be, but there it is.”

  “Why shouldn’t you be?” Rudy, asked, sitting across from her. “You feel what you feel. Let’s start from there and see where we end up.”

  “It’s Donovan. He wants pictures of Elias.”

  “And you don’t want to give them to him?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Why should I? He doesn’t deserve them. If he wanted to see Elias grow up, he should have been here.”

  “And he wasn’t and you don’t know why. So you imagine him living it up while life passed you by.”

  She nodded.

  “Did you ask him why he left?”

  “That first day. All he would tell me was that he’d been living in Texas. For all I know he has a wife and ten other kids.”

  Rudy looked at her as if she’d said something revealing. Had she? Did he think she cared about what Donovan had done with other women? She didn’t care if he had five wives and a hundred kids.

  Finally her father spoke. “I doubt that seriously. And so do you. And, to be honest, I don’t think Donovan is the only one you’re upset with.”

  Sometimes it was hard to believe her father was a rancher and not a psychiatrist. “No. I loved him so much. I thought I was going to die without him. I wanted to. I was so worried that something terrible was happening to him when all along he was going about his life without a care in the world. You and Mom kept telling me to move on, but I didn’t. I was a fool. I wasted ten years of my life wishing on stars. And now Donovan wants to see what he missed of Elias’s life. I don’t get a second chance to relive my life and see what I missed, so why should he?”

  “Do you think if you give him the pictures he’ll be able to change the past? Looking at the pictures won’t suddenly make him a part of Elias’s life or give him back all the years he missed. At best, looking at the pictures will be bittersweet for him.”

  Raven nodded. “I know.”

  “What else is wrong?”

  She closed her eyes. “Having Donovan back in town is making me doubt everything. I’m engaged to Carson, but Donovan wants to get to know Elias. It would be easy to tell him no, but that wouldn’t be fair to him or Elias.”

  “What does Donovan getting to know Elias have to do with your relationship with Carson? The two things seem separate to me.”

  “It’s hard to separate Donovan from the r
est of my life. He’s not going anywhere. Everything is more complicated with him around.”

  “Why?”

  “Because... I don’t know.” She slapped her hand on the table. “Everything was clear before he came back. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have come back. That would be a horrible thing to even think. It just would have been easier if he’d come home after the wedding.”

  “Maybe. Or maybe it would have been worse. It’s understandable that you’re feeling confused right now. You and Donovan left a lot of things unfinished. When he left, you were still very much in love with him. You carried that love and hope inside you for ten years. You bore his child. Now that he’s back, those feelings are resurfacing along with anger and confusion. The question you have to ask yourself is whether that love is still there. And if it is, is it strong enough to survive in the present with all of its complications.”

  “I’m so confused. I’m not sure marrying Carson is the right thing to do anymore. And that only makes me angrier at Donovan. It’s all his fault.”

  “Is it?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He’s not responsible for you holding on to him for all these years. That was your choice.”

  “I just knew in my heart that he wasn’t dead. I believed that one day he would come back to me.”

  “And when he did, he didn’t have a good explanation for why he’d left you and you’d promised another man that you’d marry him.”

  “Yes. It’s all a big mess. Nothing is clear anymore. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Do the right thing.”

  She buried her face in her hands. “And what would that be?”

  “That’s something that only you know. You just need to listen to that voice inside. You might not see the entire picture now, but you don’t need to. Don’t worry about what might happen a year from now. Focus on today. Just consider what the right thing is for the issue you’re facing now—the pictures—and do that. One step at a time. Remember—”

  “I know. The answer is in me.”

  “That’s my girl.” He kissed her forehead and then left.