Endless as the Stars

by Domina Alexandra

  was enough to warm her body right now.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow. Give your mom a kiss,” Gina instructed

  Carina’s kids. Carina’s sister smiled and winked, leaving with a trail of kids

  behind her.

  Once everyone was gone Carina searched the front of the house and

  went to the backyard, finding Tia wiping down the tables.

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  Tia shrugged, not swayed by the task, and continued. “I’m not going

  to leave it here for only you to clean.”

  Carina sensed that Tia wouldn’t stop and decided to join her. Tia

  began to sing under her breath. Casually, Carina slid to the other end of the

  table, wiping the chairs and trying to listen. Tia moved around the table,

  folding one of the chairs and leaning it against the table.

  To be stealthy, Carina tiptoed closer to Tia, trying to make out the

  words. Tia couldn’t sing to save her life, but she had a great rhythm

  flowing. She was headed into the rap part of the song “No Diggity” nodding

  her head as she let the words flow out.

  When Tia turned to move to another table, she leapt back, squealing

  like she’d been in a horror movie.

  Carina couldn’t help herself, hunching over in laughter. She covered

  her mouth and then ran around a table as Tia lunged to grab her. Carina

  laughed harder, holding her index finger out trying to speak. “I’m sorry.”

  Carina gasped, waving her hands out in surrender. Her eyes teared up.

  “No, you’re not!” Tia said, crossing her arms over her breasts. She

  took a step to the side of the table, Carina mimicking Tia’s movement. The

  thrill to grab Carina made Tia take another quick step.

  “Wait.” Carina snorted, thinking of how bad she’d startled Tia. There

  was no warning to how loud and high-pitched Tia screamed. “I am. You just

  sounded so terribly cute.”

  Tia straightened and narrowed her eyes. She placed her hand over her

  hips.

  Startled by Tia’s sudden action, Carina froze unsure what to do. Tia

  hopped and tumbled off the table into Carina, falling on top of her.

  Tackled into the grass, Carina lay underneath Tia, the laughter

  causing a cramp in her stomach. Tia shifted her weight on top, her knee

  pressed in between Carina’s legs. A moan escaped Carina’s lips and the

  laughter slowly drifted away as they both lie there, mesmerized in each

  other’s eyes.

  Carina felt so brave near Tia. She took a chance, hoping Tia wouldn’t

  pull away, and brushed her thumb over her cheekbone. Her heart pounded

  in her chest. Every part of Carina’s body was awake. “Being here with you

  now… It’s scary, but I know I’m ready to let go of Bruce. I want to move

  forward with you.”

  Her eyes dropped to Tia’s lips. Carina’s breath grew heavy as need

  spilled out of her. She shifted her head and stole a kiss. It was brief but

  tender. The feel of Tia’s lips made Carina’s heart flutter and she tried again.

  This time, more patient and slower. Her fingers curled into Tia’s dreads as

  she pulled Tia’s mouth to hers and kissed her harder. A moan escaped her

  lips. Carina’s stomach tightened as her body felt out of control. The need to

  breathe was forgotten, and Carina wanted more than a kiss.

  Tia pulled back, her hot breath coating Carina’s lips, and she shut her

  eyes. When Tia opened them again, her brown eyes darkened with desire.

  She’d been holding back and was ready to let go. Tia’s mouth crashed into

  Carina’s, pressing her body against hers with a need to be closer.

  Carina nipped on Tia’s bottom lip, sucking it into her mouth. Carina’s

  hands moved all over, searching for skin to touch. She pulled up the hem of

  Tia’s shirt, slipping her hand underneath, grazing her fingertips over her

  warm skin.

  She felt Tia shudder and continued to work her fingers up her back.

  Her body yearned for Tia, wanting to explore more of her all night. The

  butterflies in her stomach seemed to magnify and burst through her body,

  hitting Carina in her most sensitive spot.

  There was nothing more important than this moment. They kissed and

  explored each other for what felt like hours.

  Breathless, they pulled their mouths apart, panting for air.

  Carina felt a revelation hit her so hard that tears began to blur her

  vision. In little over a year of being without Bruce, the friendship and

  exploration of her bond with Tia had turned into something more. Without

  realizing it, something had blossomed as they planted a seed into a strong

  foundation. Carina could see it now.

  “You okay? Is this too much? We can—” Tia caressed Carina’s cheek

  with her knuckles.

  Carina kissed her again, longingly and hard. She looked into Tia’s

  eyes, pulling away. Tia slid off her, sitting quiet as she waited for Carina to

  say what was on her mind. There was so much Tia wanted to say, but she

  wasn’t good with her words and she was scared to say it. Tia looked up,

  gazing into the dark sky. The stars were bright, the moon half full. She

  shook her arm, pointing up to the sky. “Look, it’s a shooting star.”

  Carina looked up, only catching a second of what Tia witnessed. She

  smiled and kept her eyes up for a while, star gazing with Tia. This was

  serene. Carina dropped her gaze to Tia and knew this was only the

  beginning to something as beautiful and endless as the stars.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Carina

  “So…” Gina waved both hands emphasizing she wanted detail. “Last

  night. You and Tia were here all alone.”

  Carina shook her head, hiding her face in her couch pillow. She felt

  young all over again, thinking of how warm Tia felt. They’d kissed a lot.

  And talked just as much. This was new and Carina didn’t want to over think

  it. They knew they’d face scrutiny from people who knew Bruce. His

  family and hers. Friends who would see her and Tia’s relationship as

  inappropriate. Carina loved Tia and facing all those harsh judgments would

  be worth it.

  Gina shook her, trying to get a response. “Come on! I’m trying to get

  some details and you’re stalling.”

  There was no use in hiding from Gina. She’d keep nagging until she

  got an answer. Carina lifted her head from the pillow, blowing the few

  strands of hair off her face. “There’s nothing to report. We just talked.”

  Gina crossed her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes with

  suspicion. “Seriously?”

  Carina snorted, giving into her sister’s inquisitive eyes. “We might’ve

  made out several times.”

  “See…” Gina held her up hand until Carina clapped their hands

  together. “It’s like riding a bike. Well,” Gina tilted her head, considering a

  change in her statement. “In your case, a tricycle.”

  “Really?” Carina rolled her eyes at her sister’s underlined meaning

  and leaned into the couch, her elbow over the top. She brushed her fingers

  over her lips, visualizing last night. Tia didn’t head home until almost three

  in the morning.

  She’d be at work tonight. Carina was eager to see her but knew she

>   needed to take a chill pill. They needed time apart as much as time they

  needed time together. In the past, the whole missing each other thing was

  one of the things Carina loved about dating. To go a few days without

  seeing the person she wanted to see was both exhilarating and torturous all

  at once.

  “So, when’s your first date?” Gina asked.

  Carina frowned. “Oh, we haven’t gone that far.”

  “What are you two waiting on?” Gina asked.

  Nothing. It slipped Carina’s mind. She was only living in the moment

  not thinking of what steps to take next. Now all Carina could think about

  was the future. Carina wondered if she should tell her sister she was in love

  with Tia. There was no need to hide her feelings. “I want to be with her!”

  After Carina said those words aloud, she looked directly in her sister’s eyes

  searching for support.

  Gina smiled, reaching for her hand. “I’d be surprised if you didn’t.”

  Her voice held sincerity.

  Carina sighed. “You don’t think it’s too soon?” All Carina desired

  was to openly own her feelings for Tia.

  “What do you think? Because that’s all that matters.”

  “I believe…what we want has no calendar. It’s real for her and me.

  We’ll figure out the rest.”

  Gina nodded. “Then you’re on the right track.”

  *

  Tia had been texting Carina throughout the night, sending her flirty

  messages that made Carina’s skin heat every time she read them. The kids

  were off to bed and Carina was left alone in her room. Carina would be

  lying if she said she wasn’t nervous about their future. Carina wanted Tia.

  To be intimate with her in the deepest way. Carina just didn’t want to

  disappoint Tia in anyway.

  Carina knew sex between them would be magical. She kept telling

  herself to trust in her heart. It’d been a while since Carina touched herself.

  A few months after losing Bruce, she needed to think of him until she

  eventually stopped. Now, all Carina could think about was Tia and she was

  afraid. Would it be inappropriate to touch herself now? Carina knew she

  was being ridiculous.

  The door was locked, and Carina was naked underneath the sheets.

  Her heart raced fast with the anticipation of her actions. It didn’t hurt to at

  least try. Carina shut her eyes, imagining Tia coming into her room. Tia

  sitting at the edge of her bed and running her fingertips down Carina’s

  cheek. Tia’s lips on her neck and whispering in her ear before lightly

  nipping. Carina’s hands slid over her belly. She opened her eyes, wanting to

  picture Tia sliding on top, but her thoughts were short lived. In the corner of

  her vision, she saw a picture of Bruce and her on the wall.

  Carina’s hands slid away and her eyes teared up. “Damn it,” she

  groaned and curled to her side. She cried for some time. There was so much

  more she needed to do in order to move on. If she wanted to make things

  work for her and Tia, it was time to create change. This was still Bruce’s

  room too.

  After several minutes of endless thinking, Carina got out of bed and

  put on a robe. She walked over to the picture, staring at it and thinking of

  when this picture was taken. It was one of Carina’s favorite days with him.

  “I have to let you go,” she whispered.

  Carina’s hands shook but she reached up, removing his picture from

  the wall. Once she took it down, Carina had to take the others down too as

  well as his poster that he bought at a game store. And the guitar he used to

  play even though he sucked at. Carina carried them all downstairs into the

  garage. She did keep one of their pictures in her dresser. She felt there was

  nothing wrong with keeping one to herself. There were still some pictures

  of Bruce throughout the house with her and their kids that she’d never put

  away.

  When Carina went back upstairs, she glanced around searching for

  anything else of his. Carina stared at the bed and realized what stood in her

  way of potentially being intimate with Tia the most. It was the bed. Carina

  couldn’t keep it and she couldn’t sleep on it anymore. Every time she did, it

  gave her false hope in seeing Bruce again. They’d made memories on this

  bed. Bringing someone else into it felt wrong.

  Carina put on some clothes and walked into Rina’s room. She was

  asleep, an arm dangling over the side of the bed. Carina walked around,

  stepping over her shoes and slid in beside her. She watched Rina sleep for

  some time until her eyes shut for the rest of the night.

  *

  It’d been two days since Carina saw Tia and she was beginning to

  worry. Tia had been brief in her texts. Carina ended up calling Tia’s dad and

  asking for her address. Carina didn’t consider if Tia would find her action

  invasive and took a risk. Tia’s father told her Tia was sick and right away

  she got up, grabbed a few things, and headed to Tia’s place.

  Carina stood in front of Tia’s new place, knocking on the door lightly.

  A woman answered, smiling as she waited for Carina to introduce herself.

  She was friendly and directed her toward Tia’s room.

  “Tia,” Carina called out, knocking on Tia’s bedroom door. Carina

  smiled to the woman. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  Carina heard movement inside and stepped back when Tia opened the

  door, sneezing at the same time. Tia turned her head away, covering her

  mouth. Her room was stuffy and dark. She’d been sleeping, her eyes

  fatigued.

  “I brought soup,” Carina chimed.

  “I don’t want you to catch what I have,” Tia said groggily. “How’d

  you find my place?”

  “Your dad.”

  Tia nodded. “Sorry I haven’t called.” Her voice was shredded as if

  she’d been coughing out a lung.

  Carina narrowed her eyes. “You should’ve told me you were sick. I

  could’ve come and taken care of you.”

  Tia grinned lazily. “Is that what you do for someone you care about?”

  she asked.

  “Yes,” Carina said and blushed from Tia’s playful question. “Are you

  going to let me in?”

  Tia turned, looking at her room and smiled, embarrassed. “I’m

  usually not this messy.”

  “You’re sick. And all I care about is you.”

  She pivoted back, making room for Carina to step in. Tia waved out

  her hand. “Welcome to my sick domain,” she joked.

  Tia lazily got back into bed, sliding underneath the covers. “I guess I

  should let some light in here.”

  “And air,” Carina added. She grinned, twisting open the blinds. The

  sun wasn’t out but the sky still carried enough light into Tia’s room.

  Tia groaned.

  Carina turned, worried something had happened. “You okay?”

  “The sun.” Tia covered her face with her arm. “It burns.” She began

  to chuckle.

  Carina lifted the latch and opened the window halfway. “You’re not

  funny.”

  “I think so,” Tia smiled. Her coughing came sudden and long as she

  tried to catch her breath. She sat forward until her coughing subsided.

  T
here was cold medicine on the nightstand that was already half

  empty. Carina placed the soup next to it. A box of tissue was on the floor

  and she picked it up, offering it to Tia as she took some.

  “Sorry. I feel like crap.” Tia laid her back against her pillow.

  “Have some soup.” Carina offered, twisting off the container top. Tia

  cooperated, letting Carina spoon feed her.

  The silence filled the room. When she was full, Tia leaned back,

  staring at Carina with a furtive grin.

  Carina felt Tia staring and looked up. “What?”

  “You didn’t have to do this.”

  Two days without Tia had been long enough for Carina. She reached

  over, brushing her hand up Tia’s arm. “I’ll always be here.”

  “I know.”

  Carina kicked off her shoes and slid into bed. Carina had no intention

  of leaving Tia alone, and before arriving at Tia’s, she made sure she

  arranged one of her sisters to watch the kids for the day.

  “I don’t want you to get sick.”

  “And I don’t want to leave you.” Carina sat up, guiding Tia to slide

  down and lay against her. Carina held her, twirling Tia’s dreads around her

  fingers in an effort to sooth her to sleep. Soon, Tia’s breathing drew calm as

  she relaxed into Carina’s arms.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Tia

  “Just admit it.” Joe chuckled, chewing on his fourth toothpick of the

  night. Anytime they had a variety of stressful calls in a row, he’d chew

  them raw until Tia ordered him to spit them out.

  They were parked at the station for the last hour after coming back for

  a reload of supplies. Their last call was a cardiac arrest that took a handful

  of their medical supplies. Their parking lot was small with a narrow street

  on both sides of them. Cars passed by occasionally. It was after 10 at night,

  the dim street light doing a poor job of keeping them hidden from the

  overly curious people walking by attempting to take a peek in their

  ambulance.

  Tia pretended not to hear Joe’s comment, picking up her phone from

  the center console. It was too soon to think that far ahead.

  “So, you’re going to act like I’m not making any sense?” Joe asked in

  a friendly tone. Tia knew he cared and only had the best of intensions. Her