Endless as the Stars

by Domina Alexandra

her mom, hoping Tia would say yes.

  “I said I would talk to her, honey,” Carina said to her daughter for the

  fourth time. Carina sipped lightly on her tea, noticing her daughter’s intense

  stare.

  “Mom, I know you,” Rina said. “You’ll mention it, but then tell Tia

  you don’t want to go when I know you do. Family is everything to us. You

  taught us that,” Rina argued. “And I know Grandma and Papa are being

  idiots—”

  “Hey,” Carina cut in.

  “They are and you know it,” Rina said. “I love them, but they are.

  Besides, today isn’t about them. We have cousins and aunties and uncles

  whom you get along with perfectly fine that will be there. Don’t let

  Grandma and Papa take this day away from you.”

  When did Rina grow up? She’d be 13 soon enough. Carina smiled,

  proud of her daughter’s maturity. Many of her family did support her. After

  they’d found out about Tia and her, they sent a bunch of lesbian cards in the

  mail. Silly ones. Their funny way of saying they loved and supported her.

  “All right. I’ll really talk to her. But please know this will be hard for her

  too.”

  “I know,” Rina nodded.

  “Who wants donuts!” Tia shouted coming inside the house. She

  walked through the kitchen holding out a box. Her grin was big and Carina

  could tell Tia loved spoiling her kids.

  Carina narrowed her eyes. “Sugar?” she said. “They’re already about

  to be filled with sweets,” Carina pointed out.

  “Yeah, so why not start the day off on sugary fun,” Tia explained.

  “I concur,” Johnathan said grabbing two donuts.

  When did he learn that word? Carina thought. Her kids were growing

  up way too fast.

  Tia placed the box on the counter, pulling out a chocolate glazed

  donut. It was Carina’s favorite and Tia knew it. She waved it near Carina’s

  face and grinned. “I suppose you don’t want any then,” Tia grinned.

  Carina narrowed her eyes playfully. “Evil,” Carina muttered under her

  breath.

  Casually, Tia brushed her lips over Carina’s and then handed her the

  donut. “How are my four favorite people?” Tia asked offering her arms to

  take turns giving each of them a hug.

  “Good,” was all Michelle could utter, mouth half full of her donut.

  Her eyes looked bigger than her stomach, staring at the donut as if it was a

  quest she had to complete.

  “Can I hang out with you instead?” Johnathan asked Tia randomly.

  Tia frowned and snuck a peek at Carina for an explanation.

  “No!” Rina rushed out. She looked to Carina ready to pout if she

  didn’t ask soon.

  Carina hadn’t mentioned her family’s picnic to Tia, convinced she

  wouldn’t want to attend. The last thing Carina wanted to do was make Tia

  feel like she had to face her parents glare only to be judged and possibly

  mistreated for being in love with their daughter. Besides, Carina had no

  intention of going until Rina made it very clear she wasn’t going to attend

  without them. Carina knew Rina looked forward to this every year and

  didn’t want to take that away from her.

  “It’s my family’s annual picnic,” Carina finally stated. Her smile was

  tight and forced, seeing her kids’ nervous eyes wander between the two of

  them.

  “The one you invited me to last year?” Tia asked.

  Carina nodded.

  Tia stood quiet for a long moment. “Then don’t let me stop you guys

  from missing all the fun. I knew the kids were headed to their grandparents.

  Just didn’t know it would be that kind of a wild adventure.” Tia was being

  strong for the kids. She looked to them with big eyes. “You three don’t look

  ready to leave,” Tia pointed out.

  Tia was getting better at giving silent suggestions that alerted Carina

  she wanted to talk privately.

  “That’s very true,” Carina agreed. “You three should be getting ready.

  I know your grandparents will want you and all your cousins over for a

  sleepover so pack an overnight bag.”

  Michelle slid out of her seat with her donut sitting on the napkin she

  used as a plate. She looked stuffed and sighed. “I can’t finish it,” she said as

  if disappointed with herself.

  “That’s all right. I’ll finish it for you,” Tia assured.

  Rina gave her mom one last plea reminder with her eyes and then

  headed toward the stairs.

  Johnathan seemed to be the only one left hesitating to get up. His

  behavior had improved in the last several months, but today he was

  struggling to speak, keeping his head down. “I’d rather stay home.”

  “Johnathan, the video games can wait,” Carina stated. Every chance

  Johnathan got, he asked to play. Since summer break started, Carina had

  been pushing him to go outside more and socialize. “Right now I need you

  to go upstairs and get dressed.”

  “Fine,” he blew out harshly and stormed up the stairs.

  Carina shook her head. She’d let him calm down for now and discuss

  things later.

  Finally alone, Tia took the seat closest to Carina and positioned to

  face her, making it evident that she wanted to talk.

  “I know what you’re going to say,” Carina said. “I should’ve told

  you.”

  “Why didn’t you?” Tia asked, reaching in to grab hold of Carina’s

  hand.

  Carina sighed. “Because my parents haven’t treated you with any

  respect, and I didn’t plan on going.”

  “I’d never tell you to disown your parents for me,” Tia said. She

  appreciated how much Carina cared, but she didn’t want her to one day

  regret not speaking to her parents again because of their relationship.

  “First, they’ve done a great job at making me feel disowned all on

  their own.” There was bitterness in Carina’s tone but she was working

  through it. One day at a time. “Second, you’re someone I’m very proud to

  be with. And I’ll never regret not going where we both aren’t welcomed.”

  Carina’s attempt at maintaining composure was quickly failing.

  Tia smiled and nodded. “Do you want to go?” Tia asked.

  Carina gave it some thought. She took in a long breath and leaned

  into her seat. “I’ve always loved going. There are so many who still support

  me and my life. But it won’t be the same,” Carina said honestly. “I have all

  the family I need in this house,” Carina said, staring into Tia’s eyes. “The

  rest can just see me when my parents aren’t around.”

  Tia nodded. “But?” she said, knowing Carina well.

  “But Rina really wants both of us there. I explained to her why she

  shouldn’t expect you to jump for joy at the idea. Maybe she’s just being a

  teen, ready to face her grandparents for social justice or something,” Carina

  joked.

  Tia chuckled. “Maybe,” she said rolling her eyes. “I can see her now

  holding up a protest sign, demanding equality.”

  They both laughed.

  Carina silenced first, staring down at their linked fingers. “I’ll tell her

  it’s all too much and—“

  Tia shook her head, preventing Carina from continui
ng. “No!” she

  said adamantly. Their eyes locked. “I chose all of you. That meant those

  kids up there too. I fell in love with you because not only are you an

  amazing woman—passionate and honest—but also because you’re an

  amazing mother.” Tia squeezed their linked fingers. “For whatever reason,

  Rina needs us there. So, I say yes and to hell with your narrow-minded

  parents.”

  Carina snorted. “Understatement.” She looked into Tia’s eyes for the

  longest moment. A tear slid from Carina’s eye and marked a passage down

  her cheek. “I love you.”

  *

  Tia

  The entire car ride to Carina’s family picnic felt emotionally draining,

  but Tia held it together for the kids and Carina. Despite Carina putting on a

  brave face too, Tia wasn’t oblivious to her fears. Tia was fortunate to never

  be treated differently or unwanted by her father when she came out to him

  years ago. More than half of Tia’s gay friends had parents who no longer

  talked to them for choosing to be their true selves. Tia admired Carina’s

  strength. To have been happily married to a man and create three children

  with him only to openly explore her feelings for a woman after such a

  devastating loss took a lot of guts.

  Carina’s hand squeezed Tia’s thigh, drawing her attention toward their

  present surrounding. The car was parked in front of a volleyball court

  someone must have set up for the event.

  Tia noticed the huge picnic shelter with a banner stretched across it. It

  read 30th Castillo Annual Family Picnic. Tia’s brows rose. “You weren’t

  joking when you said this was tradition.”

  “Yeah. Normally, they don’t put up some big banner. Only every 10th

  anniversary,” Carina explained.

  Tia twisted to see the kids were already out of the car. She hadn’t

  realized she’d zoned out long enough for them to exit.

  “We can leave whenever,” Carina promised.

  “Same goes for you too,” Tia said. She opened her passenger door

  and smiled before exiting the car. If they lingered any longer Tia was afraid

  they’d never get out.

  Carina walked around the car, meeting Tia on the sidewalk, and

  offered her hand.

  Tia arched a brow and nodded toward many of Carina’s family

  already taking notice of them. “You are a badass!” Tia said with pride.

  Carina snorted. “I’m only walking up to my family with the woman I

  love just like any other couple here would do and has done.”

  Tia took hold of Carina’s hand and smiled. Her heartbeat could almost

  be heard with every step they took. Relief slowly settled into Tia’s

  bloodstream when she noticed most of Carina’s family eager to greet them.

  Tia recognized a few from last year and from Michelle’s birthday party.

  Their kind and supportive eyes made Carina let out an audible sigh as she

  hugged her relatives.

  Carina introduced Tia to everyone that surrounded them and

  conversation began to flow immediately. When Carina’s sisters approached,

  it was evident to Tia that despite what Carina thought, she’d needed to be

  here too. Tia understood how much Carina loved being a part of a big

  family. For Tia, it had always been only her and her father.

  There was well over 40 people here with just over a dozen kids of

  various ages running around. Carina had warned her that today would

  include a lot more people than last year and Tia suspected more would

  arrive.

  “Would you like something to drink?” Carina’s sister Sandra asked.

  She opened the ice chest near where they’d sat.

  “A Sprite would be great actually,” Tia answered.

  Tia knew that in the beginning there had been hesitation in Sandra’s

  support. She was relieved that whatever objections she had before were

  dissolved. Casually, Tia noticed from the other end of the picnic shelter

  Carina’s parents sitting with their backs turned to them. A few other

  members of Carina’s family sat with them, probably gossiping about Tia’s

  presence.

  “I hope you know I’m happy my baby sister was able to open her

  heart up again,” Gina said. She’d been observing Tia for several long

  heartbeats.

  Tia gave Gina’s words some serious thought. “I don’t plan on going

  anywhere.” This time Tia snuck a peek at Carina who was also glancing her

  way. They locked eyes and smiled. Carina had fallen into a deep

  conversation with her other sister and cousins.

  “No one expects you to,” Gina said, pulling Tia’s attention back to

  her.

  Tia gave her a furtive glance and chuckled lightly. “I doubt that.”

  ‘Well,” Gina said, apologetically. “They don’t count.”

  “Yes they do,” Tia admitted. She wasn’t trying to challenge Gina’s

  words. She knew Gina was only trying to make her feel comfortable. “But I

  can live with that as long as Carina can.”

  “You’re right and I’m thankful Carina has you by her side,” Gina

  said.

  “What are you two talking about?” Carina asked playfully, moving

  around the bench to sit next to Tia.

  Carina followed Tia’s brief line of sight and sighed. “I didn’t come

  here for them. I came here to see the people who have my back no matter

  who I am. And my kids deserve to still have their family.”

  “Amen to that,” one of Carina cousins cheered, holding up her soda.

  Everyone followed along and cheered, continuing their conversations with

  lighter topics for the next hour.

  Tia could see why Carina loved her family so much. She’d never been

  apart of something like this herself and only hoped she’d be able to share

  more moments like this for all the years to come.

  When Carina finally stood to guide Tia to meet more of her family

  that had arrived, they were instead greeted by Rina rushing to their side

  with a look of bad news to report.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Carina

  “What’s wrong?” Carina asked immediately. She knew her daughter’s

  expressions well enough to know it involved one of her siblings.

  Just as Rina was about to speak, one of the boys about Johnathan’s

  age walked up with tears in his eyes and a bloodied nose.

  All the adults took in the boy’s appearance as his father called out to

  his son, using his shirt to stop his nose from bleeding. The father, Piero, was

  one of Carina’s distant cousin’s she only saw during events like this. Carina

  frowned, already sensing where this was headed. More of the kids walked

  up with stories eager to tell.

  Tia noticed Michelle and called her over. Michelle moved swiftly to

  Tia’s side, hiding her body from the other kids by standing behind Tia.

  The boy started sobbing, telling his dad what had happened.

  Carina ignored the boy and looked around for Johnathan. “What

  happened?”

  “Where is your son?” Piero called out to Carina as if she answered to

  him.

  “Back off,” Sandra ordered.

  Carina continued to glance around in search of Johnathan. The more

  time went by the more concerned Carina became. “Rina, where
is your

  brother?”

  Tears flooded Rina’s eyes. “I don’t know!” She rushed out.

  This time Tia spoke up. “I’ll go check the playground,” she said,

  running in that direction.

  “He hit me,” the boy staggered through a frustrated breath.

  “You deserved it,” Rina argued, defending her brother.

  Almost three months without an outburst. Carina thought Johnathan

  was doing better. He’d been smiling more than ever and generally at peace

  with all he’d endured. He must’ve been provoked.

  “No kid should be hitting anyone. Especially my son,” Piero argued.

  Carina noticed her parents approaching, sensing the trouble.

  “Why do you think he deserved it?” Carina asked Rina.

  Michelle began to cry now. Carina moved toward Michelle and knelt

  beside her, soothing her daughter. “What’s wrong, honey?” Carina asked

  softly.

  She looked at the boy who’d been punched in the face by Johnathan.

  “He was saying mean words to me and Johnathan told him to leave me

  alone but he didn’t.”

  “That’s a lie,” the boy hollered.

  Carina could see Tia coming back without Johnathan and gradually,

  panic began to suffocate her.

  “NO, it’s not,” Michelle argued with defiance. “Just like last week

  when he and his older brother kept picking on Johnathan calling him a

  homo.” Michelle said the last word with confusion.

  “I never—”

  The boy tried to argue, but Piero cut in. “Shut it.” He looked to Carina

  with embarrassment. “I’m sorry. My son clearly crossed a line.”

  Carina was no longer focused on hearing what happened, watching

  Tia jog back without Johnathan at her side. Worry began to creep even

  closer, filling her lungs. “Nothing?” Carina asked Tia when she approached.

  Tia shook her head.

  “Is this why he didn’t want to come today?” Carina asked her eldest.

  Rina nodded.

  Carina groaned, wishing she would’ve noticed something earlier and

  asked questions. Right now that didn’t matter. She couldn’t afford to panic.

  “We need to find my son,” Carina said.

  Everyone agreed, Sandra organizing everyone to split up and search

  the entire park. This was the last thing Carina expected to happen today.

  She needed Johnathan to be safely found.