by JA Low
“I did all this.” He thumps his chest. I nod. “Fuck!” He rakes his hands through his long hair. “Fuck!” The tears fall down his cheeks. “I did it to protect you. I thought it was the right thing. I…” I run into his arms and hug him as we both cry for the mistakes we both made. “I’m sorry, Issy. I had no idea I was hurting you so much.” Oscar looks up and over to his best friend. He lets go of me and takes a couple steps toward Finn who looks tense. Not too sure if my brother is going to punch him again, he instead pulls him into his arms. “I’m sorry, man. I am so sorry. I fucked up. I fucked up so much.” Finn holds him back. “Do you still love my sister?” Finn looks over my brother’s shoulder.
“I do…but…” My shoulders sag. “We have a lot to discuss.” Oscar claps him on the back.
“You both have my blessing. I should never have stood in the way. I could see it. I could see how much you both meant to each other. I just didn’t want anything to fuck it up, but instead I did. I messed it all up.” Derrick pulls Oscar into his side.
“I know how you can pay me for all this damage, Ragnar. But it requires you to get onto your knees,” Derrick tells my brother.
213
Finn
I wasn’t shocked when Oscar came for me at Derrick’s, but I was shocked about how easily he gave in after all these years. For the first time ever Oscar sat down and listened to Isla. He put away his protectiveness and really listened to how much he hurt her, hurt us. I could see that he was devastated as he listened to Isla, listened to her tell him how much he shaped her life and not always in a good way. It wasn’t great seeing your best friend cut to the core, even when he had done the same thing to me.
“Fuck, guys. I…” Oscar is lost for words. “I fucked up. I fucked you guys up. I thought my intentions were good but in the end I ended up hurting the two people I care about the most.”
“It’s all good, man.” I clap my best friend on the shoulder.
“No. It’s not. I could see the way you looked at my sister. But I thought you would treat her like one of your one-night stands. What I didn’t do was really look at all you had done for her. That you too protected her. That she meant more to you than I could ever have realized. And through all this you were still my best friend, you still had my back no matter what. You took my bullshit, my threats and you still didn’t curse me. Fuck, Finn, you’re a better man than me.”
“You were trying to be a good brother.” Oscar shakes his head.
“No. I was a controlling jerk off.” This makes Isla smile.
“What’s done is done. We need to move on,” Isla tells him. “Please, don’t cut yourself up over it. We can’t change the past, but we can make sure it’s not repeated in the future.” Oscar nods, he gets up and gives Isla a kiss on her forehead.
“I’ve stuck my nose between the two of you enough. I’ll leave you both to sort out what you need to sort out. I promise, whatever happens you have my support. Finn, you’re family now. No matter what.” He walks over and gives me a bro hug then leaves the room.
“Well. It looks like the beast has been tamed. Now we just need to sort the two of you out.” Derrick waggles his finger between us.
“I think maybe we should sort it out by ourselves.” Isla and I have a lot to talk about.
“I’ll go hide in my bedroom you won’t even know I am here.” Derrick gives us a big smile. Isla places her hand on his arm.
“Thank you for all your help, Derrick. I think Finn and I might need to sort this out one on one.” Derrick gives her a smirk as he taps his nose.
“One on one, I get it,” he chuckles.
“Derrick, no!” Isla looks at him shocked, but he’s laughing too much.
“Damn pregnancy hormones. I feel ya. Sienna was like a horny teen jumping Evan every second she could. Poor guy, I think she fucked his dick off.” I have nothing to add to that comment. Isla stands up and gives Derrick a hug.
“Thank you for everything.” He hugs her tighter.
“Any time, babe.” I give Derrick a thank you hug as well, because even though he is a nosey gossip he did good today bringing us all together. He walks us out toward my car, holding open the door for Isla as she struggles to get into my truck. He waves us goodbye. That’s when the awkwardness hits. We both sit in silence as I travel from West Hollywood to my home in the Hills.
“How’s your lip?” Isla asks breaking the tension between us.
“I’ll live. It’s not the first time he’s punched me.” I shrug.
“Well if it’s any consolation, I’m sorry.” The tone in her voice tells me she’s not. We stop at a red light, I let my head sag back. I’m sick of this fighting. I’m sick of this anger. This hurt. We’ve created a little human together and nothing in this world is more important than that.
“Issy.” She turns and looks at me. “No matter what happens between us, I promise you, I am going to be the best dad to our little boy.” Tears trickle down her face and then a full on sob catches in her throat. The light turns green and people beep me as I haven’t moved. Shit! What did I say?
“I…I’m sorry…it’s the…hormones. They…make…me…cry.” She sniffled beside me. This makes me smile. I reach out and place my hand in her lap, she takes it and gives my hand a squeeze. We stay like that all the way home.
“You hungry?” I ask as we walk into my kitchen.
“I’m always hungry. I eat every damn minute of the day.” I pull out some chips and salsa for her to snack on until I can fix up some toasted cheese sandwiches for us. She happily snacks away while I move around the kitchen making us some lunch. “How cute are the twins? And Levi.”
“Poor Christian, he looks like a zombie. Am I going to look like that?” The exhaustion level on both Christian and Evan’s faces scares me. How can something so tiny ruin you like that?
“Maybe not as bad as Christian, he has two to deal with. But maybe as bad as Evan,” she giggles.
“Evan makes it look easy.”
“He’s a pro now.” She gives me a smile. I go back to making our sandwiches. “Finn.” I turn to her. “I think you’re going to be an awesome dad.” My heart blossoms at her comment.
“I think you’re going to be a pretty awesome mom as well.” Her face lights up; then lets out a heavy sign.
“We have a lot to work out, don’t we?” She gives me a sad smile.
“We do.” I flip the sandwiches and pull them from the pan placing them in front of her. The cheese is piping hot; the bastard burns my tongue as I spit the offensive piece of sandwich from my mouth. This cracks Isla up, lightening the mood again between us. “So, what’s the plan with your job?” Might as well get started with the complicated stuff first.
“Sebastien just got a TV deal so the next couple of months we should be based out of LA for a while.” Thank fuck, there is no way in the world would I let my child live in another country far away from me.
“Will you stay with Oscar when you move back?” She shakes her head.
“No. I guess it’s time I have my own space from my brother.” My stomach turns, she wants her own space.
“You wouldn’t…want to live here?” I wave my arm around the kitchen. “I have plenty of space.” Isla stills, those ice-blue eyes look up at me.
“You would want us here?” How could she think I wouldn’t?
“Of course, I want my baby near me.”
“But not the mother?” Her tone turning sour with each word.
“What are you talking about?” I’m not really following her train of thought here at all. “You think I don’t want you, Isla?” Tears well in her eyes again.
“Of course you don’t. I messed up, Finn. I’ve ruined any chance of us getting back together.” I walk around the kitchen bench and stand in front of her.
“You think I don’t love you anymore, Issy?” She nods. “Babe. All these years I have never stopped loving you. No matter what we have been through, no matter who either of us have been with. There has been no
one else in my heart since the moment I met you, Issy.” Ice-blue eyes melt at my declaration. “We have so much to sort out. But never ever doubt that I love you.” In that next moment Isla is kissing me, but I gently push her away, hurting her feelings.
“Oh.” Her face registering that I didn’t kiss her back. “I thought…I totally read that wrong.” Embarrassment falls across her face. I grab her face in my palms.
“I want us to be a family. I want us to have our happily ever after, but so much has happened, Is, in such a short time.” Her eyes close then open again.
“You’re right.” She gives me a sad smile. I lean forward and give her a kiss, then I move away.
“We have to think of our little man.” I move my hands to her stomach; the little one gives me an almighty kick which makes us both laugh. “He’s going to be a star footballer I think.” Isla smiles, her hand resting on mine.
“I want this. Us. Little one running around kicking a football. I want the Sunday family barbecues at our house and the Dirty Texas babies growing up together. I possibly want more kids. I want the fairy tale, Finn. I never dreamed it with anyone else except you.” Shit. The crack in my heart is slowly mending.
“I want it all too. But I’m hurt, Is. Not telling me about little one for nearly six months, that…that is a lot to just get over. I haven’t even seen photos of him. I’ve missed out on going to doctor’s appointments with you. Everything I dreamed of doing with you when I fantasied about us together forever. You took away from me, Is. You never gave me the chance to be there for you. You shut me out. Just please give me time.” She nods.
“I’ve made an appointment tomorrow at Sienna and Vanessa’s doctor for us. So you can meet little one then.”
“Thank you.”
214
Isla
“You excited to meet little one?” Finn and I wait in the doctor’s waiting room.
“I’m actually really nervous. I don’t know why.” His knees bounce.
“It’s going to be okay, I promise.” I have to travel back to Paris tomorrow, I should be excited but I’m not. Finn and I are still in such a fragile place.
“Miss Eriksen.” The doctor calls for us and we follow her. We run through the normal pregnancy questions and then it’s time to look at baby. I lay down as the doctor squirts the gel on my stomach and instantly his strong little heartbeat comes onto the screen.
“Oh my.” I turn to see the awe on Finn’s face and it brings tears to my eyes. Damn hormones. “That’s our…we…he’s ours?” Finn stares at the black and white screen. The doctor points out all the important bits, his strong heart, his legs, his little arms waving to us on the screen. She zooms in and shows us a close up of his face and I already know he is gorgeous. “Wow.” Finn is in shock and awe.
Finn is still amazed as he takes me back to my hotel.
“Did you see him waving at us? He was so excited to see his mommy and daddy.”
“His strong little heart beating as well which is great news.”
“His little lips. The detail in the images was so clear. He’s going to be a handsome boy just like his father,” Finn says proudly.
“Have you told your parents yet?”
“Yeah, last night. They were so happy.”
“I told mine too that the baby was yours.”
“Does your dad want to kill me?” Finn looks at me nervously.
“God, no. He said if I had to get knocked up out of wedlock he was glad it was with you.”
“Such a glowing report from Jonas,” Finn laughs. I fall silent thinking about our families.
“I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“I know.” Finn’s voice tightens.
“We haven’t really sorted anything out.”
“Not really.”
“What do you want, Finn? Just tell me, no matter if it’s good or bad. I just need to know before I get on that plane.” Silence fills the truck’s cabin.
“What I want is for you to move in with me.” I suck in a deep breath. “I want us to be a family. I want you beside me as my woman.” Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. “I don’t want you to step on that plane tomorrow. I don’t want you to leave. I want us to have more time together. Get back what we lost all those months ago.”
“Come with me.” Finn turns and looks at me. “Come to Paris with me. Axel and Olivia are about to get married. The wedding isn’t that far away. Then when that’s over we can move back to LA and be a family. I mean, if you want to, that is?”
“Yes.” There isn’t even a hesitation. “Axel’s been working in London, doesn’t mean I can’t either. It’s only a short commute from Paris.” My heart is nearly beating out of my chest. “But I have one stipulation.”
“Anything.”
“We are not staying at Sebastien’s.”
“Consider it done.” Finn nods his head and reaches over and takes my hand.
“You and me Issy. This is the start of you and me.”
Three months later
“Finn!” I call out from downstairs, around me is a puddle. “Finn!” I call again.
“What, babe?” He rushes down the stairs. I point to the tiled floor. “Oh shit. It’s go time.” I nod as a contraction comes over me. Holy shit where did that just come from. Finn starts running around like crazy but not really doing anything.
“Finn,” I call out but he ignores me. “Finn!” I call again.
“Yes.” He stops, this time hearing tension in my voice.
“In the nursery is my hospital bag. Please go grab it and while you are up there can you please grab me some new clothes, these pants are ruined.” He nods and runs upstairs. I gingerly move away from the puddle and grab a towel out of the linen cupboard and place it over my mess. I pull out my phone and text Mom telling her it’s baby time. She’s probably screaming Oscar’s house down as we speak.
“Okay, babe, I have everything. Let’s have a baby.”
“I’m an uncle.” Oscar bursts into the maternity ward with a bunch of balloons, the biggest teddy bear I have ever seen and a huge grin on his face. “Let me see him.” He makes his way over to the little hospital cot with our new baby boy sleeping soundly in it. “He’s perfect,” he whispers, staring in awe at our son.
“His name is Easton,” I tell him, tears well into his eyes.
“Little East, welcome to the family.” His large finger gently brushes Easton’s fine blonde hair, but he doesn’t stir. “Sis, you are a champion.” Oscar hugs me. “Congrats, man.” He hugs Finn. “You know everyone is outside waiting to come in.” Oscar grins. Of course our Dirty Texas family are waiting patiently outside for us, just like we did for each of them.
“Let the madness in,” I tell Oscar.
I stare at my little blonde bundle as I rock him to sleep, still in awe that he is ours and we are his. That Finn and I, after all these years, got our happily ever after. We’re a family. Maybe we needed to go on this crazy journey over the years to appreciate what we truly have now. I know there is no one on this planet that will love me more than Finn Connolly. That there is no one that will ever compare to the love that I have for this man. I feel complete.
It’s funny how life turns out, maybe we wouldn’t be where we are now if Oscar hadn’t got in our way all these years. Would we have lasted? I don’t know. I guess the universe had plans for us, it knew what it was doing sending us on this complicated journey. It knew when we were ready for forever between us because the universe sent us Easton.
“Is he asleep?” Finn whispers. I nod, slowly moving from the rocking chair and carefully placing Easton into his crib then tiptoeing away. Finn takes my hand and walks me downstairs to where there is a candlelit dinner waiting for me.
“Oh, babe.” I pull him into my arms and kiss him.
“You deserve so much more than this. You deserve the world, Isla, and I want to be the one to give it to you.” Butterflies do somersaults in my stomach. Finn drops to the floor on one knee. My eyes widen. He pulls out a red
box and opens the lid. Holy shit! There’s a meteorite sitting atop of the black velvet. “Isla, will you marry me?”
“Yes. Yes. Yes.” Tears fall down my cheeks, my hand is shaking as he takes the ring from the box and slides it onto my finger. He grabs my face and kisses me, showing me exactly what forever looks like.
215
The End
Continue on with Suddenly Everything
Isla and Finn’s novella.
216
Finn
I take it all back. All the times I paid the boys out. Being a dad is hard! How the hell did Christian do it with two? And Evan, he has two as well.
When do you sleep? Why does he never stop screaming? I have never in my life been so exhausted. Although, when I look over and see Isla she is looking like a damn angel, soothing the little monster with her calming words. He snuggles further into her chest and slowly falls into a milk coma. That boy is living the dream nestled between her breasts like that.
Isla and I had a rough time leading up to this blissful point of our lives. Years of miscommunication and fear keeping us apart. I never thought in a million years we would get here. That we would be a little family. When Isla walked into the hospital to see Sienna and Evan after having Levi, hand in hand with Sebastien, I could deal with that. It hurt, but it was for the best. To everyone’s surprise, Derrick pointed out her pregnant belly. Her bump was hidden under a hideous dress trying to disguise it from the people closest to her. I felt the searing pain of my heart breaking in two. I always thought deep down inside that I would be the one knocking Isla up. That by some twist of fate we would be together against all the odds. It was in that moment I thought I had lost her for good.