Excuse Me!

by Rupert Hughes

  CHAPTER XXVI

  DELILAH AND THE CONDUCTOR

  Like the best of women and the worst of men, Marjorie was perfectlywilling to do evil, that good might come of it. She advanced on theinnocent conductor, as the lady from Sorek must have sidled up toSamson, coquetting with one arch hand and snipping the shears with theother.

  The stupefied Mallory saw Marjorie in a startling imitation of herselfat her sweetest; only now it was brazen mimicry, yet how like! Shewent forward as the shyest young thing in the world, pursed her lipsinto an ecstatic simper, and began on the unsuspecting official:

  "Isn't the country perfectly----"

  "Yes, but I'm getting used to it," the conductor growled, withoutlooking up.

  His curt indifference jolted Marjorie a trifle, but she rallied herforces, and came back with: "How long do we stop at Ogden?"

  "Five minutes," very bluntly.

  Marjorie poured maple syrup on her tone, as she purred: "This train ofyours is an awfully fast train, isn't it?"

  "Sort of," said the conductor, with just a trace of thaw. Whatfollowed made him hold his breath, for the outrageous little hussy wasactually saying: "The company must have a great deal of confidence inyou to entrust the lives and welfare of so many people to yourpresence of mind and courage."

  "Well, of course, I can't say as to that----" Even Mallory could seethat the man's reserve was melting fast as Marjorie went on withrelentless treacle:

  "Talk about soldiers and firemen and life-savers! I think it takes abraver man than any of those to be a conductor--really."

  "Well, it is a kind of a responsible job." The conductor swelled hischest a little at that, and Marjorie felt that he was already hers.She hammered the weak spot in his armor:

  "Responsible! I should say it is. Mr. Mallory is a soldier, butsoldiers are such ferocious, destructive people, while conductors savelives, and--if I were only a man I think it would be my greatestambition to be a conductor--especially on an overland express."

  The conductor told the truth, when he confessed: "Well, I never heardit put just that way." Then he spoke with a little more pride, hopingto increase the impression he felt he was making: "The main thing, ofcourse, is to get my train through On Time!"

  This was a facer. He was going to get his train through On Time justto oblige Marjorie. She stammered:

  "I don't suppose the train, by any accident, would be delayed inleaving Ogden?"

  "Not if I can help it," the hero averred, to reassure her.

  "I wish it would," Marjorie murmured.

  The conductor looked at her in surprise: "Why, what's it to you?" Sheturned her eyes on him at full candle power, and smiled:

  "Oh, I just wanted to do a little shopping there."

  "Shopping! While the train waits! Excuse me!"

  "You see," Marjorie fluttered, "by a sad mistake, my baggage isn't onthe train. And I haven't any--any--I really need to buy some--somethings very badly. It's awfully embarrassing to be without them."

  "I can imagine," the conductor mumbled. "Why don't you and yourhusband drop off and take the next train?"

  "My husb--Mr. Mallory has to be in San Francisco by to-morrow night.He just has to!"

  "So have I."

  "But to oblige me? To save me from distress--don't you think youcould?" Like a sweet little child she twisted one of the brass buttonson his coat sleeve, and wheedled: "Don't you think you might hold thetrain just a little tiny half hour?"

  He was sorry, but he didn't see how he could. Then she took hisbreath away again by asking, out of a clear sky: "Are you married?"

  He was as awkward as if she had proposed to him, she answered for him:"Oh, but of course you are. The women wouldn't let a big, handsome,noble brave giant like you escape long." He mopped his brow in agonyas she went on: "I'm sure you're a very chivalrous man. I'm sure youwould give your life to rescue a maiden in distress. Well, here's yourchance. Won't you please hold the train?"

  She actually had her cheek almost against his shoulder, though she hadto poise atiptoe to reach him. Mallory's dismay was changing to aboiling rage, and the conductor was a pitiable combination of SaintAnthony and Tantalus. "I--I'd love to oblige you," he mumbled, "but itwould be as much as my job's worth."

  "How much is that?" Marjorie asked, and added reassuringly, "If youlost your job I'm sure my father would get you a better one."

  "Maybe," said the conductor, "but--I got this one."

  Then his rolling eyes caught sight of the supposed husbandgesticulating wildly and evidently clearing for action. He warnedMarjorie: "Say, your husband is motioning at you."

  "Don't mind him," Marjorie urged, "just listen to me. I implore you.I----" Seeing that he was still resisting, she played her last card,and, crying, "Oh, you can't resist my prayers so cruelly," she threwher arms around his neck, sobbing, "Do you want to break my heart?"

  Mallory rushed into the scene and the conductor, tearing Marjorie'sarms loose, retreated, gasping, "No! and I don't want your husband tobreak my head."

  Mallory dragged Marjorie away, but she shook her little fist at theconductor, crying: "Do you refuse? Do you dare refuse?"

  "I've got to," the conductor abjectly insisted.

  Marjorie blazed with fury and the siren became a Scylla. "Then I'llsee that my father gets you discharged. If you dare to speak to meagain, I'll order my husband to throw you off this train. To think ofbeing refused a simple little favor by a mere conductor! of a stupidold emigrant train!! of all things!!!"

  Then she hurled herself into a chair and pounded her heels on thefloor in a tantrum that paralyzed Mallory. Even the conductor tappedhim on the shoulder and said: "You have my sympathy."