Unconditional

by Tyler, Q. B.

  I bite my bottom lip, knowing that I need to run from this room and not tempt or torture myself with being in the same room as a naked and wet Maddie. I rub a hand down my face and move closer to the tub and sit on the floor next to it. “How was your day?”

  “Good. I missed you.” She leans forward and for a moment my heart stops, but I realize she just wants to kiss me. “I won’t…” she whispers. “Until you tell me you want to.” I nod in understanding and lean in and meet her lips. I hold her head in place as I find her tongue, kissing her like I haven’t seen her in weeks and not the seven hours we’ve been apart. When we pull apart there’s a smile on her face. “I love kissing you.”

  A stab of guilt comes out of nowhere. It flares up from time to time. A voice that tells me that I’m fucked up and, worse, that I’m fucking up Maddie for this. That she’ll never be able to have a normal relationship when this is over. Or worse, that these daddy issues that she’s working through will never completely go away and she’ll end up with some guy twice as old as me. A pout finds her face and I can see the rejection creeping onto her skin so I push my guilty thoughts away and smile at her. “Kissing you has been the highlight of my day.”

  I don’t know how long we’ve been talking, but the bubbles that had been hiding her body from view begin to disintegrate into the warm water. The bubbles are clearing and I’m beginning to see smooth skin under the clear water. “Maddie…” I turn away as the last of the bubbles surrounding her chest disappears.

  “Do you have to go?” Her voice is quiet and shy and sexy as fuck and I feel the beast at the base of my throat dying to come out. I swallow, in an attempt to keep him at bay, but the second I open my mouth, the words fly out before I can stop them.

  “No,” I growl before I turn to face her. “I want to see you.”

  Her voice lights up. “You…you do?”

  “Yes. Everything. I can’t touch you. But I can look. I can memorize every inch of your body and then later, when you rub that tight body against me, I can visualize you naked. I can picture that space between your thighs. Those pretty pink nipples. The curves of your perfect ass cheeks.”

  She whimpers and shifts slightly, pushing the bubbles away from her and putting herself completely on display. The water has a slight film from the bubbles and her body wash, but I can still make out her curves. She spreads her legs under the water and all I can see is the dark slit between two creamy folds. She’s completely bare. I groan and let my head fall back, squeezing my eyes shut to sear the visual into my brain. In this moment, I would probably give my life to take one slow lick between her legs.

  I grit my teeth shut, so the words don’t leave my mouth. The sounds of water sloshing make my eyes pop open just in time to see her stand in my tub, water running down her body in rivulets. I watch enthralled, my eyes unable to look away from the Goddess in front of me. I wanted to catch every drop of water that cascades down her slim body with my tongue. I want to see if she is wet between her legs with something other than water. I wanted to pull her nipples between my teeth to see if they’re hard. I wanted to run my finger between her ass cheeks and circle the rosebud there. I want it all, and I can’t have any of it. Saliva pools in my mouth and I swallow it down.

  I stand up and grab the towel sitting on the sink. She reaches for it and I take a step back. “I just…need a second.”

  “You can have all the seconds.” She purrs as she takes a step out of the tub and onto the floor. She takes a step closer, the water falling from her skin and I back up again. “Don’t you want to touch me?” Her bottom lip juts out.

  “I shouldn’t.”

  She looks down at her body and then at me, her eyes wanting approval that only my dick can give. “Do I look okay?”

  “Okay? Maddie your body is insane. You’re so beautiful it fucking pains me to look at you and not touch you. My dick is so hard it could cut glass.”

  She bites her lip and reaches for me. I drop the towel and her eyes watch it drop to the floor with a dull thud. “Can I see?”

  “Maddie…”

  “Just a peek. I won’t touch, I promise.”

  I’ve been ogling her for the past five minutes, it’s only fair, right?

  Her hands find my belt buckle and she rubs her hand along the leather and the metal before tugging it gently. “Wait,” I growl at her, my hands find her hips and before I can stop myself, I’ve sat her on my counter and she gasps when the cool marble hits her ass. “I can’t touch you when we’re both naked…so just give me a second.”

  “Why not?”

  “You know why not, Maddie.” I press my lips to her neck, my hands still planted firmly on her hips, and refusing to move an inch. I pepper kisses down her slender neck and chest before I move slightly down. I stop kissing, knowing that I am crossing into dangerous territory.

  She squirms and whimpers as I reach her nipple and rub my nose against it. “What are you doing?”

  “Memorizing your scent.” I move from her right to her left nipple, smelling the sweet vanilla on her skin. I could practically taste her sex that smelled of her body wash but also her wetness forming on her folds. “Part your legs, Maddie.”

  “Are you going to touch me?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Then no because…I’m wet.” I look up at her just as I see the pink flooding her cheeks.

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing. Like that doesn’t turn me the fuck on. Like I don’t want to lick up every drop.”

  “Then why don’t you?”

  I tell her, “Not now.”

  “When?”

  “Fuck. Maddie…I don’t know.”

  “My birthday?” she squeaks.

  I freeze and stare up at her. I part her legs slightly and move the rest of the way down her body until I’m staring straight at her wet folds. Fuck. Maybe just a taste.

  Her folds are spread, exposing her swollen clit that is staring at me begging me to lick it, suck it, devour it. The tip of my nose runs up her thigh and I let it hover over her pussy, breathing in her sweet scent. “Cal.” She’s white-knuckling the counter and I feel her sex moving closer to me. Her clit grazes my nose slightly and she moans which has a direct line to my dick and it throbs painfully. “Holy fuck. S—sorry. Didn’t mean…t…tto.” She stammers and I wonder if just that minor brush against me is about to have her coming. “I…I need to put clothes on. Or…whatever we can do that will make you touch me.” Her eyes find mine and I look from her to her glistening pussy.

  “Maddie…” I groan as I close my eyes and stand up away from her sex. “I just can’t yet.”

  “Yet?” The hope laced in her voice doesn’t just speak to my dick, it speaks to my brain and my heart, and I’m wondering if every part of me is starting to get on the same page as my raging fucking hormones.

  God, I’m so fucked.

  “You really want this?”

  “I really do.” She presses her hands to my chest and leans up to kiss me. I pull away and shake my head and she frowns.

  “We need to talk about a few things first.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like what? Like what this means for you and me. I can’t…” I rub my hand over my forehead and back away from her. I pick up the towel and hand it to her. “What happens to us once we go down that road? Shit, even this?” I point back and forth between us. “Where does this leave us when this ends?”

  Her eyes well up with tears instantly and before I can reach out to wipe them, she gets off the counter and wraps the towel around her. “I hadn’t counted on this ending.” She bites her bottom lip before she leaves the bathroom without another glance.

  I think about giving her space, letting her collect her thoughts before I go in and force her to talk to me. But then I remember she hasn’t exactly granted me that same courtesy. She bulldozed her way into my heart ten years ago, and then again last week in a completely different way. I’ve never had a chance to collect my thoughts before I’ve had to f
ace her, and if she’s asking for what I think she’s asking, then she needs to know how to talk to me. I follow after her and push my way through her closed door to find her pulling out a pair of underwear. She turns to look at me as she pulls her panties up her legs and lets them snap against her hips. Her chest is still bare and all I want to do is drop to my knees and feast on her tits. “Madeline, if you’re going to fucking run away from me every time I upset you, this is never going to work.”

  “Well, I love you, and I want to be with you and you’re talking to me about when this ends…so I’m sorry for being a little emotional about that.”

  “I’m sorry I said that…I guess I’m still playing a bit of catch up. I just think it’s going to be a lot harder than you think transitioning this relationship. I raised you, Maddie, and now…This is complicated. And what happens when you go away next year? You’re going to want to be free to explore and find yourself.” The last thing she needs is an overprotective…boyfriend? Following her around everywhere. And I know I fucking would. I wouldn’t let any of those frat fucks within a mile of her.

  “Who said I was going away?” She sits on her bed and looks up at me. “I thought…I mean I was going to ask if I could stay here with you while I went to school.”

  “Maddie…you’re brilliant and Ivy’s are already knocking on our door.”

  “Ivy League schools are expensive.”

  “Will you let me worry about that?” I didn’t want to tell her that I’ve been putting money aside for school for her for years, not to mention Margie, Henry, Aria, and Grant are all on board that we’d send her wherever she wanted.

  “Since I’ve known you, you’ve always put me first. You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted or needed my entire life. I don’t want you giving up anything else for me. I don’t want you sacrificing anything else for me. I just want…you.” Goosebumps appear all over her body, and my eyes immediately go to her nipples that are turning to hard points.

  I sit next to her and pull her hand into mine and run my lips over it before draping a blanket around her shoulders. “I’ll never not put you first, Maddie. No matter where things go between us.”

  I PEEK MY HEAD OUT behind the red curtain, staring into the sea of people in the auditorium. Dozens of eyes stare back at me and it turns my stomach into knots. I don’t think they can see me through the tiny crack, but I back away slowly, my lip trembling with each step. “I can’t do it.”

  A hand touches my shoulder and then her familiar perfume surrounds me. “Of course, you can, honey. I promise it’s not scary.” Aria kneels in front of me and smooths my hair into a bun. Though I don’t know how a hair could be out of place, she is hair spraying it down for a full twenty minutes.

  “Cal’s not here.” Tears fill my eyes and one threatens to trickle down my cheek, but then I remember Aria’s hard work on my eyes. I look pretty. Like a model in a magazine or a movie star. It’s my first recital and my first time ever in front of an audience and all the makeup on my face makes me look like a pretty made up doll. I rub my nose absentmindedly and look up at her. Concern flashes in her green eyes and she tucks a strand of her newly chopped bob behind her ear.

  “I know, and you know he wants to be here, but something happened at work.” She pulls me into a hug and squeezes before kissing my cheek. “He promised to meet us as soon as he could, remember? And I’m going to take a video. You’re going to be so good, Maddie. The best ballerina there ever was.”

  Somewhere in the distance, they call for me and Aria stands up. “I have to get to my seat, but I promise everything is going to be okay.”

  I look up at her and start to rub my eye, but I let my hand fall when I remember my makeup. “What if I fall?”

  “Then you get back up and keep going.” My eyes widen. I expected her to assure me that I wouldn’t. “Everyone falls sometimes…you just get back up and keep going.” She touches my cheek and strokes it gently. “Now get out there and show us what you can do.”

  I’m ushered into a line by a stage mom and a girl next to me, with the same bright pink tutu looks over at me with bright shining eyes. “I heard you talking to your mom…don’t be sad, my dad isn’t here either.”

  “Oh, that’s not my mom…and Cal’s not my dad…” I trail off, still trying to find the words of how to explain who Cal is in my life. I frown when I think about my real dad. “He’s better than any dad I’ve ever met.”

  I’m brought back into the present by the sound of Catrina’s voice. The same young girl with the bright pink tutu is now an older girl with a white tutu indicating she’s one of the Russian dancers in the Nutcracker Ballet that our studio puts on every year. “Come on Shaw, you’re up.” She flicks my shoulder and I stand up with a sigh. “You’re being moodier than usual. You’re the Sugar Plum Fairy for God’s sake, can we put on a smile?” She leans forward into the mirror next to me and purses her freshly painted lips in the mirror. “I can’t wait to get out of this; Jacob just got home from college this afternoon and I am feigning for a good dicking.”

  You and me both. I pout. “I don’t think Cal’s going to make it.”

  “Oh, so that’s why you’re all pouty.” She turns towards me before looking around. “Ten years and you still get so antsy when he’s not here.” She narrows her gaze at me and for a brief second, I wonder if the answers are written all over me. That I want Cal here for reasons different than when I was ten. Before I was scared, and he made me feel brave and like I could take on anything. Now, I just wanted him here because I’m the lead and I want him to be proud of me. I want the man I love and the one that loves me to be here. He’d promised me over and over this morning that he would try his hardest to make it, but he had to go handle something a few counties over and wasn’t sure he would be back in time.

  “I just feel better when he’s in the audience.”

  “Hmmm.” She smooths her tutu down and pulls the straps of her leotard up. “You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?”

  “What?” I turn my head to hers, my voice loud and piercing and she rolls her eyes and presses a finger to her ear.

  “So, that’s a yes?”

  “No, Catrina. What? What would make you even say that?”

  “Well, now, your reaction, and the fact that you’re pinker than the Chinese dancer costumes, and two, because no woman could survive living in a house with a man that looked like Officer Sexy without having a taste.”

  I scoff. “I hate when you call him that.”

  “Why? Feeling territorial?” Yes. She leans forward and runs a finger over my lashes, pushing them upwards. “Tell me you call him that in bed, don’t you?”

  I roll my eyes and swat her hand away before standing up from my chair. “I don’t call him anything in bed because we are not sleeping together! You need to get your mind out of the gutter and stop with the romance books. It’s turning you into a horny nightmare.” I loved Catrina and her affinity for literally all the smutty books, but it’s made her believe that everyone is fucking each other. Or wants to.

  She shrugs. “Fine, whatever.” She holds her hands up before skipping off. I look down at my phone just as it buzzes, the sound making my heart sink because I know it’s Cal telling me he isn’t going to make it.

  Superhero:Still in Seattle. I’ll make it up to you, I swear. I love you.

  The three words make my heart soar. I bite down on my lower lip as I clench, my sex feelings those words almost as much as my heart.

  Me: And how do you plan to make it up to me?

  Superhero: Talk later, Madeline.

  I can read between the lines. Don’t start. I had tried to sext him once, last week when I was bored in my chemistry class. He was not having it and proceeded to give me a very stern lecture when he got home about not putting anything in writing. It made sense because, although texts could be deleted, nothing was ever permanently gone in this day in age.

  Me: Fine. I go on soon, talk to you later.

  Superh
ero: Break a leg.

  “You were so good!” Aria bounces up and down as I come out of the dressing room and move through the sea of people towards my very loud cheering section. Aria, Margie, Grant, and Sasha were the loudest by far. But although they always succeeded in embarrassing me, I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

  “Everyone needs a home team,” Aria told me once. “They’re the people that cheer hardest for you even when it’s the bottom of the ninth and the bases are loaded and all feels lost.”

  Sasha bounces up and down and wraps her arms around me. “I still can’t believe your legs can do that. The man that gets you into bed is going to kiss the ground you walk on.”

  “Sash!” I swat at her as Grant groans.

  “What! You’re eighteen in like less than a week.” Sasha treats my entire family like they’re my older siblings and sees them in no way, shape, or form as parental. “Aren’t you taking her to a sex shop?” She points at Aria who then shoots me a glare.

  “What? She wants to come too!” I smack my best friend in the arm. “You have no freaking chill!”

  She wraps an arm around my neck and drags me away from my family and into a corner. “Okay, tell me you can come out tonight.”

  Visions of how Cal is going to make up for missing my show tonight come barging into my brain like a bright neon light. As much as no is on the tip of my tongue, I have to play it somewhat cool and not like I have plans that don’t include leaving Cal’s bed till morning. Or ever. “Out…where?”

  “Come on, you’ve barely been out in weeks and today was the last day of school until after the New Year! Tell me Daddy Cop is going to let you out.” Cal and I hadn’t spent much time out of the house the last few weeks because out here we couldn’t be us. Cal couldn’t touch me, he couldn’t look at me the way he can’t help but look at me. He couldn’t run his hand down my back and cup my ass. He couldn’t trace my neck with his tongue. He couldn’t kiss me. All things both of us relished in doing, often. So, no, I hadn’t really been out of the house.