Tony shook his head. “Don’t need to.”
“Why not?” I demanded.
“Because he doesn’t hit back,” Noah advised from where he stood next to Logan on the outskirts of the ring.
Ryan and Luke moved to the opposite side of the ring, each leaning on the ropes to watch.
I glanced at Alissa, who stood near the opening with Nate. She shrugged. “He’s right. Tony doesn’t fight back. He’s the one who helped me heal.”
I pulled my gaze back to Tony. He’d helped Alissa? What else hadn’t he told me?
And why didn’t he fight back? I didn’t understand.
“Come on,” Tony waved me closer. “Hit me, chica. Kick my ass. I hurt you, remember? I deserve a beating.”
He was right. He had hurt me. He did deserve a beating. And I did want to kick his ass for hurting me. But I was madly, hopelessly in love with him, and deep down, I didn’t really want to hit him. I just wanted to hold him. So tightly. I wanted to chase all his pain and his fears away. I wanted him to open up to me and let me in.
He wanted me to hit him? Fine. Maybe this was the only way to get through to him.
We danced around each other for a moment, eyes locked.
Then I launched an upper cut toward his jaw.
He could have easily bounced away from the blow, but instead, he turned into it, a feral gleam in his eye.
My fist struck his jaw.
I grimaced, pulling back as pain arced through my hand. That had to have hurt him. I’d swung pretty hard. I shook my hand out, releasing some of the pain from the blow.
Tony smiled, a wicked grin. It was more a baring of teeth than anything else.
I struck out at him again, this time pummeling him in the chest. Wham. Smack. He didn’t stop me. He just stood there and took it. Arsehole. Why wouldn’t he fight back?
I swung again. And again. And once more. Smack. Thud. Thwack.
Still, he just stood there, taking it all. Feckin eejit! Why wouldn’t he fight back?
I stepped away from him, breathing heavily, my gaze locked on his. Was he trying to wear me out first? Was that his game?
“Your turn,” I announced. “Hit me. I know you want to. You’re pissed that I messed up your dull little lonely life. You’re pissed that I brought excitement and mind-numbing sex into your world. You’re pissed that I’m getting to you. You’re pissed because I care, and that scares you.”
A hushed silence filled the gym.
Tony’s eyes darkened. He let out a low growl. “I don’t hit women.”
I lifted my chin. “No? Maybe not. But you overpower them and handcuff them to bedposts and leave them there wondering if you’re going to come back and hurt them.”
His nostrils flared. “That was only payback for what you did to me first. I would never have done it otherwise.”
Luke let out a low whistle before Ryan smacked him in the arm, silencing him.
“Come on,” I taunted. “Are you scared you might lose control? Why don’t you show some emotion for once in your feckin life, you big arse! Give me something besides that cold aloofness!”
A sudden change came over him. It was so subtle, I wouldn’t have noticed it if I hadn’t been staring at him so closely. I swung toward him again, trying to egg him on, trying to make him show something besides that coldness. I wanted him to lose it.
His lifted his arm, a sudden blur, and blocked the blow. My forearm struck his with a crack. I winced.
A hush fell over the gym.
“What’s he doing?” Alissa whispered. “He never hits back.”
“He’s not hitting,” Nate answered quietly. “He just blocked her.”
I swung again. Hard.
And again he blocked me.
Crack.
Again I swung, this time with both arms at once.
And once more he blocked, raising both his hands to stop me from hitting him.
Thud. Thud.
“Holy shit,” Logan breathed out. “He’s blocking the blows. He’s fighting back.”
My heart squeezed. What had happened? Was this a good thing? Why was everyone so shocked?
Tony’s eyes smoldered with darkness as something unraveled inside him.
Finally, finally Tony was letting go of the control and showing some emotion. Instead of standing there letting me beat on him, he was blocking me. Yes. I wanted more from him. I wanted him to let it all out. In my sudden greed, I wanted everything from him.
So I launched myself at him, swinging my legs at his ankles, trying to trip him.
But when my legs struck his, he twisted his feet around mine, tripping me instead.
We went down with a thud, rolling and grappling and squirming, then I nailed him in the groin—a hard smack with my fist—quickly rolling aside as he gasped and released me.
“Cheap shot,” he grunted. “That was low.”
I smirked. He was nearly twice my size. I would use any angle I could to win this match, even cheap shots.
I almost got away.
But he launched himself at me, tackling me back onto the mat. Manhandling me into a submissive position, he sat on my hips, breathing heavily. I glared up at him, panting, very aware of the audience we had.
“Do you give?” he growled out, his voice a low whisper in my ear.
“Never,” I hissed. Then I wiggled an arm free and smacked him in the ear. He grunted, releasing his hold.
I squirmed away again. But I only managed to crawl a few feet before he tackled me again. I fought hard, not about to go down easily. I got in several good blows before he finally managed to subdue me again, pinning me down and kneeling on my hands so couldn’t pull them free.
“You want emotion?” he snarled in my ear. “How about lust? Will that work? Want me to fuck you now? Right here in front of everyone?” He ground his hips into mine.
“Tony,” Nate warned.
Luke cleared his throat loudly. “Ahem. As much as I’m enjoying watching you two roll around like pigs in the mud, I’d rather not see you going at it in front of my poor, virgin eyes.” He turned from the ring with a snicker, and headed for the door. “I’m out of here.”
Ryan chuckled. “Me, too. Take it easy on him, Grace.” He followed Luke out.
Logan and Noah glanced at each other uncomfortably. “Uh, I think I–” Logan began.
“Yeah,” Noah finished for him. “Me, too.” They both left quietly.
Did this mean they believed it was okay to leave Tony alone with me? I wasn’t afraid of him, but I was concerned that I might have pushed him too far. Nate’s warning to not push too far came rushing back to me. Should I back off now?
Feck no. I wasn’t finished yet.
“Yes,” I whispered, holding Tony’s gaze. “Maybe I do want you to shag me right here, right now. Maybe I want you to lose control and just give in to your feelings, just let yourself feel for once in your life.”
A tense silence fell. Nate and Alissa exchanged a worried glance, but neither moved to intervene.
Tony glared down at me. I stared back. Then his face changed. Just a flicker in his eyes. A scrunching of his brow. A tiny twist of his lips.
He turned his head and shot a glare at Nate and Alissa. “Get out!”
Nate hesitated, his gaze locking on Tony’s. A silent battle passed between them.
Alissa and I exchanged a worried glance as we waited.
Then Nate took Alissa’s hand and whispered something to her. They turned and left the gym, shutting the door quietly behind them.
Tony turned back to me. He drew in a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. “I told you I didn’t know if I could open up to you. Why do you keep pushing me?”
I was shaking, though it wasn’t from fear. Why had I pushed him like that? He’d said he needed space, and instead, I’d kept egging him on. What was wrong with me?
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, meaning it. “It just hurts being so close to you, yet feeling the distance you keep pushing betwee
n us. It’s like you only want me for sex and nothing more. I can’t do that, Tony. I told you I wanted more than that from you. That I wanted your heart. You said you didn’t have a heart, but I don’t believe that. You do have a heart. A big heart. You’re just scared to admit it. You’re afraid to care about me because you think it makes you weak. Vulnerable. Well, don’t you think I’ve made myself vulnerable by caring about you?”
His brow scrunched. “Grace…you’re fucking amazing. I’m not worthy of you. And yeah, this whole thing scares the shit out of me.”
He released me and rolled to his feet, staring at something across the room. “I need you to back off me, okay?”
My heart pinched. Had I just ruined any chance of being with him? Had I pushed him too far?
He held a hand out to me. Hope filled my chest. I hesitated, then placed my hand in his. He hauled me to my feet.
“You’re a worthy opponent,” he complimented.
The heaviness in my chest loosened. I turned my head and met his gaze. “So are you.”
His lips twitched. Then his gaze turned serious. “Don’t hate me, Grace. Just give me some time, okay?”
I looked deeply into his eyes, seeing nothing but sincerity staring back at me. I would stop pushing him. I would give him space. “Okay.” It came out a soft whisper.
He held the door for me as we left the gym. We walked in silence to Tracker’s old apartment where I was staying.
“I’ll see you later.” He turned and went back into the gym, leaving me standing out in the corridor staring after him.
Moments later, the sounds of him working out—hitting the punching bag?—filtered through the door.
Was he working through his issues the dreg way? Would it be enough?
Would this man ever let me in?
CHAPTER FORTY
Tony
I had just stepped out of the shower and finished drying off when Nate pounded on my apartment door. I knew it was him even before I answered. I yanked on a clean pair of shorts, then pulled a fresh T-shirt over my head, and went to answer the door.
Nate had felt me coming apart in the workout room. He was naturally concerned. I’d kept all my emotions bottled up inside me, locked up tight, for so long. He was afraid I was about to snap. The tightness inside me had completely unraveled while in the ring with Grace. Now there was a looseness in my chest. An openness. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it scared the hell out of me. The only time I had ever fought back in the ring with any of my dreg brothers was when one of them needed me to. Most of the time, I was just a punching bag for them. A few months ago I’d had to knock some sense into Tracker and make him realize he loved Jessica. Then I’d scuffled a bit with Nate when he was fighting his feelings for Alissa, but I hadn’t egged that one on. Nate had. Other than those two times, I had been nothing more than a punching bag for the others. I hadn’t fought back. Then I had helped Alissa heal by being a punching bag for her. Always, I was the punching bag, only fighting back with those who needed to be fought.
Until a half hour ago when I’d fought back with Grace. Had she needed that? A part of me believed she had. Grace was a strong-willed woman. And she needed to purge her demons. She was by no means weak. She’d egged me on. Relentlessly. And I’d finally snapped.
I hadn’t hit her. I hadn’t actually fought her. I would never do that. Not to Grace. I’d just blocked all of her blows. Something inside me had unraveled, breaking apart, opening up. Grace had pushed, and pushed, and at first I’d shoved back, refusing to give in to the urge to fight back. Then, finally, I’d snapped. I’d blocked her blows. And it had felt so good, so freeing to participate, to not be a dead shell any longer. A punching bag. There was still something human left inside me, and that human part of me was tired of being a punching bag for others. I helped everyone else heal, but I could never seem to heal myself.
Grace had done something to me. Something phenomenal. She’d made me realize I didn’t want to be alone in my misery anymore. I didn’t want to be a damn punching bag. I wanted to be a puncher. Grace was screwing with my head. I craved the constant give-take between us, the continuous battle of wills. Nate was right. She was getting too close. And I was running scared.
But despite that, I truly wanted to be with her. The woman was good for me. Good for my soul. This knowledge was scary, and I needed to process it for a while.
I hesitated before opening the door, not sure if I wanted to deal with Nate right now. If he was going to harp on me, then I would only harp back. And I wasn’t in the mood to argue with him right now.
You can’t put it off forever. Just talk to him and get it over with.
I yanked open the door and turned away, walking into my kitchen and letting him decide whether or not to follow.
He followed.
He watched silently as I yanked open the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water, tossing one to him.
He caught it, but he didn’t open it. He set it on the kitchen counter.
He motioned to my leg. “What’s going on with your leg wound? You’ve never healed this fast before. None of us have. Not even Jacob.”
Jacob healed faster than the rest of us. He had some kind of miraculous healing abilities. I glanced down at my thigh where the bullet had pierced me. The wound was nearly healed now, no sign of infection. I shrugged, glancing up at Nate.
“They might have given me something at the facility. They had me hooked up to all kinds of tubes and things.”
“Or it could be all the blood transfusions you’ve had over the past few weeks, making you stronger, boosting your immune system, helping you to heal faster. None of us have ever had to undergo so many transfusions in such a short amount of time before. You’ve had so many lately that you’ve got more of our blood running through your veins than your own.”
I shrugged again. “Dreg blood is dreg blood. Doesn’t matter who it came from.”
Nate scowled. “Don’t make light of this. You know it’s serious.”
I sighed. “Okay. Speak.”
“Noah is printing out your file. We all need to meet to go over it and see what Darcy was referring to about your DNA.”
I was relieved he wasn’t bringing up what had happened in the ring with Grace. I didn’t want to talk about it. Not even with him.
I needed a distraction from my thoughts about Grace. “So let’s go meet with the others.”
Ten minutes later, we were all back in the gym. Noah handed a several-page printout to each of us. “This is Tony’s file on all the tests and experiments that were done on him. I highlighted the part where it talks about Tony’s DNA sequence being different and how when combined with certain animal DNA, it creates a super soldier with extremely fast-growing abilities.”
Silence descended for several minutes while everyone read the file.
“So why didn’t The General collect Tony’s DNA before this?” Ryan glanced around the group. “If Tony’s DNA is so special, you would think The General would want to keep Tony alive to harvest his DNA rather than try to execute him.”
“Maybe he didn’t know,” Logan suggested. “One of his scientists could have been keeping the information from him.”
“Darcy,” I muttered, drawing everyone’s gaze. “That bitch has been lying to us all along.”
Noah nodded. “I think Tony may be right. If you look at the date of the last test that was done on Tony, it was three years ago,” Noah pointed out. “There may be more information that isn’t included here.”
“You think Darcy intentionally left it out?” Luke demanded. “Was she not only keeping it hidden from The General, but also from us when she gave us our files?”
Everyone exchanged a glance. “Very possible,” Noah said. “For all we know, she could have made up all the stuff she gave us. Our files could be fake.”
Silence fell while everyone contemplated that.
“Why would she keep it from The General? That’s what I want to know,” Ryan said.
> “Maybe he treated her as heartlessly as he did us,” Logan said quietly. “What if he was a cold bastard to her, too? Maybe she withheld the information so that she could show it to him later in the hope that he would praise her for the discovery and reward her for it.”
“All possible scenarios and things to consider,” Nate said.
“If the shareholders truly did try to kill Darcy like she said,” Luke cut in, “then why is she back with The Company now?”
“I can answer that for you,” I spoke up. “Darcy told me she was tired of running and hiding from the shareholders, so she went to Aikens—who, by the way is The General’s firstborn son—and showed him the information in my file to convince him not to kill her.”
“And so he let her come back to continue working toward the goal of creating the perfect soldier using Tony’s supposedly rare DNA,” Noah finished in disgust.
Another silence fell as everyone contemplated that.
“We need to kidnap Darcy and find out what the fuck is going on,” Luke muttered. “I’ll interrogate her. Find out the truth.”
Everyone nodded their agreement.
“Just so long as we remember that she is a woman,” Nate reminded. “So the interrogation needs to be mental, not physical. Luke should be able to get the truth out of her without any physical torture.”
Everyone exchanged glances. We’d never hurt women before, but Darcy made me want to forget that and just strangle the lying bitch anyway.
If Darcy had been keeping things from us, if she’d given us false information, then there was no telling what other information could be in our files. What real information. What if I did have a family out there somewhere? A sister? A cousin? An aunt?
Stop it, you moron. That kind of thinking will only bring you more disappointment. There is no family. Just the dregs. Deal with it.
“Does anyone know where Darcy lives?” Ryan asked. “It will be easier to kidnap her from her home than from the facility where she’ll be surrounded by soldiers.”
The gym door opened and Grace and Alissa entered.
My heart rate sped up. I feasted my gaze on Grace, barely sparing a glance at Alissa.
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