by Caitlyn Dare
It’s clear now that Warren wanted what Conner had.
He wanted me.
And now he has me, I’m not sure he’ll ever willingly let me go.
He kisses me, hard and without warning. His tongue plunges into my mouth and curls around my own, forcing me to join as I grip his muscular arms, trying to keep some shred of control.
“Bedroom, now,” he growls against my lips, the anger in his words reverberating through me.
“O-okay.” I force the word over the lump in my throat, my heart breaking clean in two.
I knew what coming back here meant, yet, deep down, I hoped there would be a way out of it.
Inhaling a deep breath, I center myself, mentally preparing myself for what’s to come.
You can do this. You don’t have any choice.
I take a step, but Warren grabs me again. “Fuck it,” he says, snapping his belt with one hand. “I can’t wait. Get on your knees, baby.” His eyes are blown with lust.
“H-here?” I balk. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s made me do things in front of his unconscious father, but I still don’t want it to be like this.
“Get on your fucking knees, Ken. Now.” He fists my hair and pushes me to the floor. I swallow a whimper as his grip tightens in my roots. “Now open up like a good little girl.” He’s already pumping his angry cock.
Tears leak from my eyes as I lose the fight to maintain composure.
I don’t want to do this... because I know if I do, I’ll be forever tainted. Conner will never want me again.
The realization slams into me with such force, I retch just as Warren thrusts into my mouth, the intrusion unexpected and unwelcome.
“Fuck, that feels good. Suck me, baby. Take all of me.” He thrusts harder, hitting the back of my throat and making my eyes sting. I try to breathe through my nose as he fucks my mouth with brutal strokes. Tears run down my cheeks, mixing with the saliva pooling in my mouth and running down my jaw.
I’m a mess. A broken, tear-stained mess. But he doesn’t stop. He just keeps going, stopping every now and again to let me catch my breath.
His hand reaches for the neckline of my sweater, yanking, and I wonder what the fuck he’s doing until he rips his cock from my mouth and sprays jets of cum all over my chest.
Warren pulls me to my feet, tracing his name in the sticky mess all over my skin. “Mine,” he rasps, all heavy-lidded and breathless. “You’re fucking mine, Kennedy.”
He grabs the back of my neck and kisses me hard. It’s over as quickly as it started, and he shoves me away. “Go take a shower, you’re a fucking mess. Then put on something sexy, we’re going out.” He tucks himself back into his jeans, watching me.
I nod, too disgusted with myself to reply. As I walk away, only one thought fills my mind.
Forgive me, Conner.
Warren brings me to Joker’s. The second we step inside the dingy bar, Shelbie spots me and rushes over to us.
“Hey guys,” she says. “I didn’t expect to see you here.” There’s a silent question in her eyes, but I discreetly shake my head.
“I need to go speak to some people,” Warren says. “Hang out with Shelbie for a little bit.”
His words are like music to my ears. “Of course.” I smile, and it’s the most genuine smile to cross my expression since fleeing the hotel room in Colton.
“Tell Dakota I’ll take a beer,” Warren barks at Shelbie before walking away.
“Oh my God, I’ve been so worried.” She pulls me into a hug. “Are you okay?”
“I guess.” My eyes dart to the floor.
“Kennedy, what did he do?”
“It doesn’t matter.” I fix another smile. “I’m here now, and it beats being holed up in the trailer.”
“Come on.” Shelbie motions to the long counter at the back of the room. “Did you eat already?”
“No, Warren seemed in a hurry to get here.” I scan the room. It’s quiet, a few mean looking guys occupying one of the booths. There’s an older couple eating wings at another table. Warren is at the back in one of ten booths, but whomever he’s meeting is obscured.
“Hey, who is that?” I ask Shelbie.
“Beats me.” She shrugs. “You know the kind of people that roll in and out of here. Hey, Dakota, Warren wants beer. And put through a basket of bacon and cheese fries for me and my girl.”
“Put it through yourself.” The woman smirks.
“I thought you loved me.” Shelbie pokes out her tongue and chuckles.
“Oh, I do, but it doesn’t stop you being a pain in my ass.”
Dakota is her cousin. Her older and much wiser cousin. She doesn’t take any shit from the guys who frequent the bar, and they know not to mess with the Garret women. Shelbie’s dad might be rough around the edges, but he looks out for the girls in his life.
Dakota brings us two sodas and a basket of fries. “Kennedy,” she says coolly. She never has been fond of me. I don’t know why, and I don’t ask.
“Hey, Kota,” I say. “Thanks for this.”
She gives me a sharp nod before taking Warren his beer.
“She really doesn’t like me, huh?”
“Oh don’t mind her, it’s just her asshole-o-meter.”
“Warren,” I say flatly, and Shelbie nods.
“He gives a lot of people the creeps.”
“Yeah, I know.” He doesn’t just give me the creeps, he makes my skin crawl.
“Are you ready to talk about it?”
“Shelb...”
“I know, I know. But you got out, Kennedy. I just don’t understand why you—"
“Because this is my life, okay? I can’t stay there and pretend to be one of them.” The lie coils around my heart. “They’ll all be going off to college and embarking on their futures, and I’m just supposed to what? Sit around and wait to be left behind again?”
God.
Why did it have to hurt so much?
Living with Warren is my worst nightmare, but at least I know what to expect. In a really fucked-up way, it’s stability. But now I’ve experienced life with Conner and his family, I know there’s something better out there. I’ve had a taste of it, and I want more.
God, I want so much more.
I want it all—the comfortable life, the safety and security, the contentment. I want the happily-ever-after. But the harsh reality is, so long as Warren is breathing, so long as he exists in this world, I will never be free.
I was foolish to ever think I could be.
He knows things. Things about me, about the Jaggers. He knows how to play on people’s fears and exploit their weaknesses.
And Conner Jagger will always be my weakness, the way I will always be his.
“Kennedy?” Shelbie says with an air of concern.
“Sorry.” I blink at her. “I’m okay. I’m okay.” Repeating the words doesn’t make them hold any more conviction.
Because the truth is, I’m not okay.
Chapter Eight
Conner
Levi's house is eerily quiet as we step inside.
"Drink?" Levi asks, leading us both through to the kitchen.
"Sure," I mutter, my eyes flitting around the place as we walk past the living room door.
I'm not really one to believe in weird vibes and shit, but something isn't right here.
He pulls the refrigerator open and throws a couple bottles of beer to us.
Twisting the top, I down the lot in one in the hope it washes away the image of Warren kissing my girl like he owned her that seems to be permanently etched onto the insides of my eyelids.
"What's the plan then, aside from stalking her like a creep?" Levi asks, coming to join us at the breakfast bar.
"Right now, I don't have one. He's blackmailing us."
"Oh shit, for real? What's he got on you?"
"It's not me," I sigh. "If it were me, I wouldn't bat an eyelid at going after the motherfucker. Nothing he could do to me would be worse than taking her."
>
"So it's Cole," Jay says, correctly guessing the only other person I'd lay down my life for.
"Sadly."
"Bro, we’ll look out for her the best we can, but if he's going to pull something like he did before then there's not much we can do about it."
"I know," I mutter. He’s right. But right now, I'm just glad Warren is allowing her out for others to see. He could quite easily hide her away, then none of us would know what he's doing to her. We already know what he's capable of; who knows what other evil things he has up his sleeve for when he realizes that I'm not just going to bow down to him?
Levi tries changing the subject, but I can't focus on whatever it is he's chatting to Jay about. My head is still firmly in that parking lot.
"Can I use your bathroom?" I interrupt when my need to get away becomes too much.
"Sure, it's right down the hall, third on the right."
I nod at him and head in the direction he just said.
Pulling my cell from my pocket, I read through more messages from Cole, Ace and Hadley. Something tells me that they don't have much faith in my ability to control myself. I mean, I get it. I'd raise hell if it would get Kenny safely home where she belongs, but right now, I need to remember that getting her back puts others I love in danger. I can't risk losing anyone.
Without replying to any of them, I angrily shove my cell back into my pocket then reach out and swing the door to my right open.
I realize my mistake the second the baby pink walls hit me. I lean forward to close the door again, but a body curled up on the floor beside the perfectly made twin bed catches my eye. My breathing falters when I recognize the woman as Levi's mom.
She doesn't so much as flinch at my interruption, but when I look closer, I see an empty bottle of something still in her grasp. She's totally out of it.
I quickly look around the room as I close the door. It looks like the person it belongs to has just gone to school. There are even some discarded clothes draped over the chair in the corner. But the reality is that Levi's little sister isn't just at school. She's gone. And she has been for a few years now.
Silently, I close the door and turn toward the correct one this time.
I take a piss before sitting on the edge of the bathtub and dropping my head into my hands.
Anger swirls inside me, fueling my need to storm over to Warren's trailer and rip him limb from limb for trying to take away my girl. My need for vengeance eats at me, and I fear that if this goes on too much longer then I'm not going to be able to stop myself. My patience only goes so far when it comes to Kenny. I really fucking hope Dad knows that.
I have no idea how long I sit there, but eventually I pull myself together and make my way back down to the kitchen.
"Everything okay?" Levi asks, his brows pulled together in concern. Maybe I really was gone a while.
"Yeah. Where's Jay?"
"He had to go, his sister called."
"Right." I sit back down, but really I know I need to leave. I just don't want to go back to the Bay knowing that the other half of my soul is here in this shithole.
Thankfully both mine and Levi's phones buzz simultaneously and gives me the perfect excuse to stay.
We both stare down at the same message. The address staring back at me ignites butterflies in my belly.
"You in?" Levi asks hesitantly.
"Fuck yeah I'm in. I fucking need this."
"I was afraid you were going to say that," he mutters as I crack my knuckles, already more than ready to go up against whoever Daz thinks is good for it tonight.
"I guess I'd better feed you then," he says, turning to the refrigerator.
"Nah, let's go and get pizza or something," I suggest. This house is depressing as fuck, and I can't imagine that Levi really wants to be here any more than I do, despite the fact that it's his house.
"Even better idea. You can drive."
We head to the other side of the Heights, closer to where tonight's fight is being held and hopefully far enough from where Warren might be. I'm all for being here and being close to Kenny, but I don't need him to know I'm sniffing around. Not yet, at least. I'm not ready for Cole to go down for first-degree murder.
"You don't need to do this, you know. You've got nothing to prove," Levi says as I hand him my shirt, ready to get into the ring.
Tonight's warehouse is just like all the others I've fought in over the years. Dark, damp, and smelling like stale sweat and death. It suits my mood perfectly.
"I do. That motherfucker needs to know what's going to happen when I get my hands on him."
"I think he's probably already aware. He's a stupid motherfucker if you ask me. He knows what you're capable of."
"Yeah, which is why I know he's got a plan. He could never take me, even when I tried training him."
"Yeah," Levi mutters, concern flashing across his face.
The guy Daz matches me up with is brutal. I have no idea where he found him but fuck, he gives me a run for my money.
I might win, but it's not by much, and by the time I stumble out of the ring after being declared the winner, I'm feeling every single punch he got in.
"Fuck, I knew you shouldn't have fought tonight," Levi chastises, wrapping his arms around my waist and helping me toward the exit.
"No, that was exactly where I needed to be," I correct him. I needed the pain. I needed to expel some of the energy that's been festering inside me for the past few days.
"You sure you're okay to drive?" he asks the second I rip my car door open and all but fall inside.
"Yep, more than capable. You want a lift?"
"Nah, you’re good. I'll make my own way."
"You sure?" I ask, not really wanting to abandon him but more than ready to fall into my bed.
"Yeah, fuck off and sort yourself out. Your brothers are going to have a shit fit when they see you."
"They can fuck off," I mutter, revving the engine and pulling my door closed.
Levi gives me a wave as I pull out of the lot and I make quick work of getting the hell out of the Heights. The turn toward our old trailer park taunts me as I pass. It would be so easy to head down there and go and knock on that cunt's door.
I almost do it. But at the last minute, I remember Dad's words and tell myself once again that I need to trust him. I have no reason to think he's going to screw me over with this, no matter how much waiting fucking blows. He's proven again and again since he took us in that he wants to do right by us. I have to cling to that and have faith. What else have I got right now?
Thankfully, I manage to get to the bathroom to shower and then to my bedroom without being intercepted. I'm amazed I achieve it after the number of messages I've received since I skipped out on school earlier, but I figure they're both too deep in their girls to care about what I'm doing right now.
The gasp that falls from Aimee's lips the next afternoon when she sees me reminds me of how my face looked when I stared at myself in the mirror this morning.
Both Ace and Cole tried to rip me a new one for fighting—again—but with the situation as it is, neither really had a leg to stand on. They've both done enough fucked-up things over the years; me fighting is a drop in the ocean.
Aimee, however, looks really concerned.
"Conner, this is like the sixth time you've turned up at school like this," she says softly, her eyes bouncing from one cut to the other.
"It's nothing," I snap, really not needing my tutor girl giving me grief over my shitty decisions.
"I'm just worried about you. This isn't you, it—"
I turn to look at her sitting beside me at the library table. It's where we meet three times a week so I can help her with her math, but unlike every other time we've done this, today I really don't want to be here.
"This isn't me?" I bark. She sits back a little, her eyes widening at my tone. "You don't fucking know me, Aimee, so don't even try. You've lived here in the Bay for your entire happy, privileged little life. Not a
ll of us are that fucking lucky."
I stare at her as her eyes fill with tears, and I immediately feel like an asshole.
"I-I'm sorry." She pushes her chair out quickly, ready to flee, but I'm faster. I wrap my fingers around her wrist and pull her back down.
"No, I'm sorry. That was out of line. I'm sorry." My hand falls to hers and she squeezes, although she soon stops when I wince in pain.
"I'm sorry." She lifts my hand so she can inspect my knuckles. "I'm just worried about you, Conner. You're better than this."
"Trust me, I'm not."
"You are," she breathes, her voice too soft, too sweet, but I already feel like a cunt for barking at her so I can hardly tell her to shut up.
"Shall we?" I gesture toward her textbook, hoping it will make her stop looking at me the way she is.
"Conner." She laces her fingers with mine as her other hand lands on my thigh. "I really like you, I think you know that. Let me help, please." Her hand begins to move, and for a second it feels so good that I let her. But right before she touches where she shouldn't, I reach out and stop her.
"We've got work to do."
I pull my hand from hers and twist away, dragging the book between us and picking up a pen.
She's a sweet girl. Using her right now would be so easy, but I can't. My life is already a big enough mess…
I don't need to make it any worse.
Chapter Nine
Kennedy
I’m barely functioning.
Between Warren’s constant attention, his clingy, obsessive mood swings, and Jayden and Levi’s big brother routine around school, I’m a wreck.
But I stuff it all down, paste on a smile every morning, and kiss Warren on the cheek like the dutiful, doting girlfriend I’m supposed to be.
Thankfully, my period came and I’ve been able to avoid his advances. But it doesn’t stop him from using my hands and mouth at his every whim.
I feel so dirty, so used and worthless. I keep telling myself I’m doing it to protect Conner, to keep his family safe, but the lines between reality and fantasy are starting to blur. I’m starting to lose myself again...