by S L Davies
Branwen’s feelings were so confusing when it came to her brothers. Sometimes she would look at them in a way that she knew she shouldn’t. Like when they would hug her and hold onto her a little longer, or at night when she could hear Karney in his room with a girl, she would imagine it was her in there, doing the things they did. She didn’t want to think about her brothers the way she did, but she couldn’t stop herself. Branwen thought she was broken - she couldn’t help but wonder if the people that had her before her mam and da had broken her. Uncle Dyfed and his boyfriend Uncle Rauri, told her one day how the people that had her, her biological parents, had raped her when she was little. That night she had slid her fingers inside her to see if she could feel her hymen. She didn’t know what it would feel like, if there was one there, but she could only believe Dyfed and Rauri, they wouldn’t lie to her.
“What happened Little Raven?” Finnbarr asked, using the nickname that her whole family used. She liked it when they used it, but the kids at school had taken to teasing her about her name and her looks.
She looked so different to Finnbarr and Karney, she knew the reason was because she didn’t have the same mam and da as them, but it wasn’t something they told anyone. As far as Mam and Da were concerned she was theirs and they were hers. Branwen felt like she belonged, she didn’t long to know more about her biological family, she was loved, and she was a Murphy just as much as Finnbarr and Karney were.
“Siobhan, she doesn’t let up. Finnbarr I know that I’m not really your sister, I know that we don’t share blood and that’s why we don’t look like each other, but fuck, Siobhan she just won’t stop,” Branwen rambled.
Finnbarr frowned and put his hands on Branwen’s cheeks, looking down into her eyes. Branwen’s heart started to pound and her lips dropped open. She didn’t want to think about her brother this way, but it was times like these that Branwen couldn’t keep her thoughts from roaming about what it would be like to kiss Finnbarr or Karney.
“You listen to me, that bitch don’t mean nothin’, you’re our sister, we don’t share blood but who the fuck cares. You’re ours, Little Raven,” he growled.
Tears prickled at Branwen’s eyes and she nodded her head. Finnbarr ran his thumb under her eyes, to wipe the tears that trickled down her cheeks.
“They never let up Finnbarr, they say I’m not a real Murphy, that I’m just the spare or the charity case.”
Finnbarr frowned again, he leaned forward and kissed Branwen’s forehead, she closed her eyes and soaked in Finnbarr’s scent. He smelt like a mix of vanilla and cinnamon. He pulled her into his chest, holding her tight against him.
“You’re no spare or charity case Little Raven,” he whispered into her hair.
Branwen wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed him to her, unwilling to let go, while she soaked in Finnbarr’s strength.
Chapter Three
2 years later
“What the hell are you doin’ get off of him,” Branwen roared as she rounded the corner and saw the three boys that had the new kid pressed against the wall.
One of the boys, named Connor, looked over his shoulder and sneered. He was a slimy son of a bitch. His father worked for Branwen’s father and he always walked around like he was king dick of Northern Ireland. The truth was, he was just some lowly lackey that worked for her father and Uncle Dyfed. But it never seemed to stop him from throwing his weight around.
“Well if it isn’t the Little Raven coming to the rescue,” Connor snarled in her direction.
Branwen narrowed her eyes and glared at him. However, the distraction she caused gave room for the new boy to get away. He looked over at Branwen, with conflict on his face. She could see that he wanted to protect her, but he was powerless against the three boys. She nodded her head at him subtly to let him know that she was going to be okay. The boy nodded and turned, running around the corner. She didn’t know his name, only that he had started at their school that morning. The rumors were thick about him, that he was the son of the Russian mafia, that he was here as a spy, all sorts of garbage that Branwen couldn’t be bothered with.
Connor and his three minions started to advance on her as Branwen stepped back towards the way she came.
“Where are you going, Little Raven?” Connor asked, his lip curled in a sneer.
“Just walk away, Connor,” she said, attempting to stop her voice from trembling. She knew it was stupid to stand up against Connor and his gang, but she couldn’t stand by and watch them beat up some innocent kid because he was different to them. She hated injustice and wouldn’t stand back and let it happen around her.
However, Connor terrified her. He always made her feel so uneasy when he looked at her. There was something about Connor that was inherently evil. And caused a shudder to run up her spine. Branwen continued to move backwards, to get away from him, but the more steps she took away the more Connor and his gang advanced. She knew that there was going to be no escaping and she would have to fight her way out. Branwen silently thanked Karney and Finnbarr for teaching her to fight, she didn’t want to have to use violence, she didn’t particularly care for it, but she wasn’t the type of girl that would lay down and let someone walk all over her either.
Branwen stepped back again, but this time she hit a firm body that she hadn’t noticed behind her. Glancing over her shoulder she saw that it was Connor’s younger brother, Michael. Branwen inwardly groaned, this was going to be bad, she knew although she could fight and she would give it all she had, she wasn’t going to escape this without pain. Michael put his hands around Branwen’s waist. She stiffened in his arms, ready to slam her head back into his face. Thankfully the Kelly brothers weren’t tall, giving her more of a chance.
“Let me go, Michael,” Branwen growled.
Michael chuckled as Connor reached for her, but she was quicker. Branwen threw her head back with everything she had, feeling the crack of Michael’s nose hit her skull. Pain shot through the back of her head, but she refused to succumb to it. Michael wailed and instantly let go of her body, to clutch at his face. Branwen didn’t turn to look at him, knowing that now wasn’t the time to get distracted. She threw her arm back with a clenched fist and aimed for Connor’s face, knocking him in the cheek. She watched as his head snapped back.
“Bitch,” Connor roared, reaching out and snagging one of her arms in his.
Branwen, tried to yank her arm out of his clasp, but his grasp was too tight. She threw another punch, this time into his stomach, causing him to grunt. In the background, Michael was still crying, while Connor’s friends stood watching with wide eyes. None of them expected her to fight back.
“Grab her fucking arms,” Connor roared at his friends.
Instantly they all jumped into action and started to pin her against the wall, holding her fists above her head. Branwen screamed and continued to flail, fighting hard and kicking her legs to get out of their hold. She was a good fighter, but she was no match for the four of them.
“Lay her on the ground,” Connor demanded.
She felt her body get pulled off the wall and slammed into the concrete. Her head ricocheted off the ground, causing her to cry out as stars danced in front of her eyes. Darkness threatened to overcome her, but she refused to give in. There was no way she was going to let the Kelly brothers and their band of merry men, win. Branwen kicked out trying to dislodge the two guys, Angus and Patrick, but it didn’t seem to matter what she did she couldn’t get them to let go. Connor climbed on top of Branwen’s waist, pinning her thighs and preventing her from kicking. He looked down on her and gave her a wicked smile that filled Branwen with dread.
Connor grabbed her breast hard in one hand and gave it a squeeze. Pain radiated through her chest and she sucked in a hissed breath, biting the inside of her cheek. Branwen wouldn’t let Connor know how much he was hurting her. It was this sort of sick shit that got him off. Just like his father, both were evil pieces of shit. With his other hand Connor shoved his way up under
her shirt, flipping the edge of her bra from her chest, exposing her breasts.
“Oh boys, would you look at those pretty pink nipples,” Connor said as he exposed her chest for the four boys to see. Michael had stopped wailing and when she looked up at him, he was glaring down at her, his eyes filled with hatred, and his face covered in blood. His nose was broken and sitting crooked.
“The Little Raven, princess to the Murphy throne. I am going to break your cunt in,” Connor growled, “However, seeing as you broke my brother’s nose, I think it only fair that he gets first taste, what you reckon Mikey?”
Michael gave a terrifying grin as he knelt beside her, lowering his head to Branwen’s chest. Branwen roared and started to throw her body about, trying with everything she had to dislodge the guys around her. Tears started to sting at her eyes as she realized she couldn’t get away and she was about to be raped by the Kelly brothers and their friends. She would never be able to look at the face of her family again. She wondered if anyone would believe her. A sharp pain spread through Branwen’s nipple and she couldn’t hold back the scream, as she felt Michael bite down into the sensitive flesh of her breast. She screamed again, fighting with everything she had. Connor gave her a stinging slap across the cheek.
“Stop fighting us, Little Raven, you’re not gonna get outta this one,” he growled.
Suddenly Michael’s body was ripped from hers. His teeth scraping along her breast, causing more pain. She cried out again. When Connor’s body was knocked from her waist and her hands were loosened, Branwen looked around and saw Finnbarr and Karney, their fists flying into the Kelly brother’s faces. The new boy had Angus by the throat against the wall and was hitting him hard, while Patrick ran around the corner of the building. Branwen quickly moved herself against the wall, bringing her knees up tight against her chest. She didn’t even bother to lower her top, too shocked and frightened to do any more than to hold herself tight. Tears fell over her cheeks, dripping off her chin.
Branwen wasn’t aware of what was going on around her, until she felt a pair of familiar arms pick her up and cradle her to a chest that she knew. Looking up she saw her Uncle Dyfed, with a frown on his face. He gently lowered her top to cover her breasts and marched away with her. Branwen didn’t know how long she had been curled against the wall, or what happened to the Kelly brothers, she didn’t know where her brothers were, she just knew that now in the arms of Uncle Dyfed she was going to be safe.
Chapter Four
“Where is she?” Branwen heard her da ask, his voice was booming throughout Uncle’s Dyfed and Rauri’s home. Branwen was laid out on the couch, with her head on Rauri’s lap, while he stroked her hair. She stared off into the nothingness. Her mind was filled with images of Connor and Michael on top of her. Her breast was aching from the wound that Michael had caused. She hadn’t even looked at it yet. She couldn’t bring herself to move.
“She’s in the sitting room with Rauri. Iden don’t go in there with guns blazing, she’s not goin’ to respond to that,” Dyfed said calmly.
Branwen heard her father’s footsteps come in the room, it amazed her that she was able to tell the difference between the steps of her family. Her father was very light footed, almost like a ballerina when he walked. He crouched down in front of Branwen and looked into her eyes. She stared up into his blue eyes and broke.
“Daddy,” she cried.
“Oh, Little Raven,” Da said, pulling her into his arms and clutching her tight against his chest, “sweet girl.”
Her tears soaked into her father’s neck as she cried and let out all the pain and anguish that she felt.
“They are not getting away with this, Little Raven, I’m goin’ to make ‘em pay,” he said as he kissed her hair.
Branwen nodded her head, she wanted them to pay, she hated the Kelly brothers. Branwen laid in her father’s arms until her tears dried and her sobs turned into hiccups. She lifted her head to look up into her da’s face. His eyes were red rimmed, which told her that he had been crying along with her. Branwen knew her dad was a tough man, the garda would love to imprison him and Dyfed for their business, she wasn’t clueless to what they did, but underneath the tough exterior her dad had a soft heart, especially when it came to her mam and his children.
“Da, they are here,” Karney said from the entrance to the sitting room.
Da looked up over at Karney, who filled out the entire doorway, he had not only grown to well over six and a half feet tall, but he was built, with a massive frame. He had a frown on his face that was identical to their da as he looked over at Branwen.
“I’m comin’ now son,” Da said with a nod. Karney nodded to show that he agreed and turned leaving them alone again in the sitting room. “I’m going to go and finish this, Little Raven.”
Footsteps sounded in the room, and when she looked up, she saw Rauri coming in the room with her mam. Her mam’s face was tear streaked and her hands were shaking. “Oh, my girl,” she cried, when she looked at Branwen being held in her da’s lap.
“She’s alright Brigid, she is going to be alright,” Da said as he tried to calm Mam down.
“Iden, you and Dyfed, you end them,” she growled.
Da stood and sat Branwen back on the couch, he went to Mam and took her in his arms, holding her tight against his chest. “They are going to regret ever hurting our daughter, and their father is done too,” Da said.
Branwen knew that it meant that he was going to kill them. She knew that she should be concerned and that she should stop him, ask for leniency, but she didn’t have it in her. Maybe she was as evil as the Kelly brothers, but she didn’t care that her father and Uncle Dyfed were about to kill two teenage boys and potentially their father, none of that mattered to her. She wanted it to happen. They tried to take something from her that wasn’t theirs to take. It should scare her how much she wanted revenge.
Mam came to where Branwen was sat on the couch and put her arm around her shoulders. “Are you hurt?” Mam asked, her voice shaking. Branwen nodded her head and sighed. “Where did they hurt you?” Mam asked, her voice becoming steely with anger.
Branwen lifted her top, getting her first look at the wound on her chest that Michael had caused. It wasn’t as bad as she had been expecting. Blood had dried around her nipple, and there were indents where his teeth had sunk into the pale flesh of her breast. However, Branwen had expected to see her nipple hanging off or gone altogether. Mam hissed in a sharp breath and her jaw hardened in anger.
“I’ll get the first aid kit and we’ll clean her up,” Rauri said from the doorway.
Branwen should have been embarrassed that her uncle Rauri saw her breast, but apart from the fact that he was gay and very in love with her Uncle Dyfed, she felt completely numb. Branwen didn’t know if she was going to heal from the pain that seemed to be a constant ache in her chest. She didn’t know if she would ever trust another boy other than Karney and Finnbarr ever again. They were the only boys she needed in her life. They didn’t hurt her, they didn’t try to rape her, they never tried to take from her. And with them she was protected.
Chapter Five
It took Branwen six months before she felt back to her normal self. No one told her that the Kelly brothers had been killed, but Branwen knew it was the case. The last she saw of them was the attack. Their father didn’t work for her da anymore and the Kelly brothers never returned to school. The rumors were rife about them. Everyone in school heard secondhand accounts of the attack. They all knew who Branwen was and which family she belonged to. Everyone assumed that if the Kelly brothers attacked Branwen, they were dead.
Branwen ignored the rumors, she didn’t confirm or deny what had happened to her. The only good thing to come out of the sorry affair was getting to know Kodiak. He was the boy that the Kelly brothers were attacking that started the whole event. Kodiak had come from Russia with his father only days before, he barely spoke English and was an easy target for Connor and his minions. Angus and Patrick avoid
ed the Murphy family like the plague, Branwen thought they were scared they would end up the same as Connor and Michael. She couldn’t blame them, there was a good chance that they would have, had it not been for Carter McConnell, one of the detectives the Murphy had on the payroll, explaining that he couldn’t protect Da and Uncle Dyfed if they killed the boys. Angus and Patrick’s families weren’t a part of the Murphy family organization, so the law was less likely to look the other way.
After the attack, Kodiak’s father came to see her da. Apparently, Kodiak had gone to find Finnbarr and Karney, telling them what was happening to Branwen. After they had saved her and her Uncle Dyfed came to get her, Kodiak ran home and told his father what had happened. The rumors about Kodiak’s father were true, he was the head of the Russian mafia, his brother had been killed by the Italian’s only weeks before, so Andre Isakov brought his son and wife out to Northern Ireland to take over the reins. Andre didn’t want problems with the Irish, so came to lend a hand. Branwen wasn’t around for the talks, as she wasn’t allowed to be involved in that side of the business, however, Karney later told her that Da and Uncle Dyfed accepted an alliance with Andre Isakov.
Every day after that Kodiak became Branwen’s best friend. They were the same age and although he was a tall lanky boy, he was still intimidating to the other kids in school. Combine that with her brothers and who their families were, Branwen was avoided, even the girls who once were nasty to her, now said nothing to her face. Instead choosing to whisper behind her back. Branwen didn’t care if they talked, it never bothered her. Kodiak and Branwen became inseparable over the six months and soon they were hanging out together after school as well. Karney and Finnbarr both trusted Kodiak and left them alone.
One afternoon Kodiak and Branwen were sitting in the bottom of the garden, books were spread out in front of them while they attacked the last of the homework before Summer started. It was one of those rare days in Northern Ireland where the sun was shining, making everything balmy. Branwen felt lazy and didn’t feel much like doing homework but having Kodiak by her side made doing her work more tolerable. Kodiak was a math genius, while Branwen helped him with his English.