by S L Davies
I want you to promise me something, I want you to look after Karney and Little Raven. Particularly Branwen, she is going to hurt, she has had to deal with so much hurt in her short life already, and I know that my death is going to add to that. I can see the way you and Karney look at Little Raven, I can also see the way that she looks at you boys, it’s the same way she looks at Kodiak. I know that what I’m suggesting is probably immoral, and no doubt people won’t understand, but to keep this family strong, I truly believe that you three boys are who Little Raven needs.
Your da won’t always be the patriarch of the Murphy family, but I know that one day he will step down and Little Raven will turn the Murphy family from a patriarch to a matriarch. When that happens, she is going to need all the support she can get. And that mean’s having three very strong men in her life, to not only protect her but to fulfill her every need to do the job well. Don’t hold back from loving Branwen in the way you desire. It is going to take people a while to understand, there are going to be those that say horrible things, but Finnbarr you are all stronger than them. And the three of you, Karney, you and Kodiak will be even stronger when you have Little Raven as your focal point,” he stopped reading and looked up at her.
Branwen had tears in her eyes as Finnbarr folded the letter and put it in the pocket of his jeans.
“What do you think?” Finnbarr asked.
“I can’t believe that Mam saw it, that she gave it her blessin’, I’m just, it’s a lot.”
“I know, we will go at your pace, when you are ready. I talked to Kodiak, I showed him Mam’s letter after her funeral,” Finnbarr said.
Branwen’s eyes widened as she looked over at him, “what did he say about it?”
“He said that he wasn’t sure if he could be in a relationship like that, he knew about the way Karney looked at you, he said that it made him jealous, he wanted all of you, but felt like he was already sharing,” Finnbarr explained.
Branwen’s heart ached, she knew that Kodiak was jealous of Karney, it was what most of their recent fights had been about leading up to the final breakup. Branwen could tell that Kodiak wasn’t happy.
“I love him so much Finnbarr, but I don’t know how to show him. I don’t even know if something like this could work. But I think it wouldn’t feel right without Kodiak. I don’t know what to do,” she said biting on her lip, to stop the tears from falling.
“Let’s just go slow. There is nothing that says we must be in a relationship now; we can move at a snail’s pace. And when Kodiak comes back from university, then we can discuss it more and see if he is open to it,” Finnbarr said with a smile.
Branwen nodded her head and sighed. She didn’t know if this could work. She had heard of polyamorous relationships before, she read reverse harem books, she knew that in fiction they worked, and the families lived happily ever after, but could that be the life for her. Could it work? Could she have her happily ever after? Branwen just didn’t know, she felt so overwhelmed, yet the idea of being in a loving relationship with the three closest men in her life, twisted something in her heart. It brought her a longing that she knew could only be quenched by making a fantasy a reality.
Chapter Ten
2 years later
The day in the bath that she shared with Finnbarr was long gone. Branwen had spent a lot of time thinking about a relationship with the three most important boys in her life, she kept going around in circles as to whether it could work. No matter how she looked at it, she kept coming up with the same scenario, people thinking they were sick and twisted. There was an invisible tension between her and Karney, every time they were in a room together. It was as if what they did together was at the forefront of their mind. Branwen was filled with guilt, but at the same time, she wanted a repeat. Maybe she, was sick.
“Branwen,” Kodiak screamed from the front door, as it ricocheted against the wall in the entrance.
Branwen ran for the entrance. Kodiak had finished university a few weeks earlier and was working with his father. Andre Isakov and the Murphy family worked closely together. It was good to have the backing of the Russian’s as the Italian’s tried to step into the Murphy turf more and more. Branwen had heard her da and Uncle Dyfed talking about how the drugs that the Italian’s were selling, were defective and kids were dropping dead. They were fighting hard to have it not creep into the Irish and Russian’s turfs, so that the heat didn’t fall on them.
When she reached the front entrance, her breath caught in her throat as Kodiak was standing holding Andre in his arms. Blood was pouring from Andre’s body. “Quick bring him into the dining room and lie him on the table. I’ll get the medical kit and ring Da.”
Kodiak shook his head, “your da, fuck, your da he is gone, Little Raven.”
Branwen frowned but she didn’t have time to give it more thought, as she raced through the house, pulling towels from the linen closet, medical kits from their place in the bathroom and a jug of warm water. Andre was laid out on the table, his face was pale, and his breathing was shallow.
“I’m gonna cut his shirt off,” she said, looking up at Kodiak, who was pale as his wide eyes took in the state of his father.
Branwen took the scissors and snipped away Andre’s blood-soaked shirt, she hissed when she saw the wound in his chest. Branwen wasn’t a doctor, but the wound didn’t look good. She didn’t know if the bullet that caused the wound had hit something vital. He needed to go to the hospital, but that wasn’t something that they did, people asked questions at hospitals, garda were often called. Branwen looked up at Kodiak and bit her lip.
“Kodiak, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do much. I can’t see if the bullet has hit something vital, he needs to go to the hospital,” she said quietly.
Kodiak shook his head, “he would kill me if I sent him to the hospital, you know that, no hospitals.”
“I’ll do my best to clean him up, but I can’t promise I’m gonna be able to save him,” she said watching Kodiak’s face and the myriad of emotions that flew across it.
Kodiak looked at her with dark eyes before nodding his head in understanding. Branwen sucked in a sharp breath and nodded. She put the gloves on and proceeded to clean around the wound so she could see better what was going on. The fact that Andre was still breathing was a good sign, the bullet obviously hadn’t pierced his heart. However, there were still other organs that it could have hit, that would cause just as many problems.
Da had never got rid of the makeshift hospital bed in the sitting room after Mam died, so she knew that she could put Andre there. The nurse had shown Branwen how to insert a drip and she had picked up other bits of medical information online. YouTube was a wealth of knowledge. So, she would be able to at least give Andre good after care, but whether he would live to receive that care, she didn’t know. Branwen wasn’t about to operate on him. The wound wasn’t huge, the amount of blood that he had lost made it look so much worse than it was.
Once the wound was cleaned, and Branwen saw the bleeding had stopped, she was satisfied to move Andre into the sitting room. “Well he is breathing, and not struggling for air, so I don’t think it’s hit his lungs, and the fact that he is alive tells me the bullet didn’t hit his heart, so the only thing we can do is wait. Move him into the sitting room, I’ll set him up with an I.V to give him fluids, and I think Uncle Dyfed dropped off some morphine too, so I’ll give him some of that, it will keep the pain at bay.”
Kodiak nodded and lifted his father easily from the bed. Kodiak had grown into his body; he was so tall, but he was full of muscle. It seemed like he didn’t have to do much to build that muscle, he really was a beautiful man. Branwen shook her head, scolding herself for lusting after Kodiak while they were trying to save his father’s life.
Once Andre was laid out on the bed, Branwen noticed just how pale he really was. He seemed to blend in with the stark white hospital bed sheets. His dark hair laid flat against his forehead and sweat beaded across his brow. He wa
s still breathing steadily and as Branwen checked his pulse, it was strong and gave her hope that he would survive. She busied herself connecting I.V lines into his veins, it took her a few goes before she finally was able to successfully find a vein. Once Andre was set up with fluids and some morphine to ease the pain, all they could do was wait and hope to God that he woke up.
Kodiak was pacing the sitting room, his hands twisting in front of him, and his brow was creased with worry.
“Kodiak, come on, let me make you a cup of tea,” she said quietly, drawing his attention.
Kodiak stopped pacing and looked at Branwen for a moment, before nodding his head and following her out of the sitting room and into the kitchen, where Branwen went about making cups of tea for them both. She looked over at the dining table, it was covered in blood, from Andre and scattered with bloody cloths and Andre’s shirt. Branwen shook her head, she would think about that later, right now Kodiak needed her.
Whilst Kodiak was at university, he had met a girl, the rumours said they were inseparable and madly in love. Branwen cried for most of the night, when she found out, she was destroyed. No matter what Kodiak did or said, she was going to love him, that dark haired Russian boy held her heart in a way that only Karney and Finnbarr did. It wasn’t that her heart was compartmental, but it was that they had a piece each. She found it still so hard to explain, and that was one of the reasons that she hadn’t acted on her feelings. She wanted to be in a relationship with all the boys, but there were so many obstacles that felt so enormous that Branwen didn’t know if she would be able to get over them.
“Little Raven?” Kodiak said, pulling Branwen from her thoughts. She looked up at him and noticed the tears in his eyes. “Little Raven, I need to tell you something.”
Branwen frowned but stepped towards him, reaching out and taking Kodiak’s hands in hers. “You can tell me anything,” she said looking up into his dark eyes.
Kodiak inhaled a deep breath and sighed, “shit, okay, Branwen this is bad.”
“Kodiak you’re starting to frighten me, what is it?” she said feeling her panic begin to rise and her heart beating hard in her chest.
“Your Da, he, shit, Branwen, your Da and Uncle Dyfed, they were shot too.”
“What the fuck? Where are they, I need to help them, Karney and Finnbarr where are they?” she screamed as she let go of Kodiak’s hands and turned for the door. She had no idea where the job was, but she was prepared to search all Northern Ireland for them.
Kodiak encircled her waist with his thick arms, holding her tight against his chest. Tears were breaking from her eyelids and falling down her cheeks. Kodiak held her tight to him and pressed his head against her cheek.
“Little Raven, they are gone, they were killed. Karney and Finnbarr managed to get away, but your Da and Uncle Dyfed didn’t make it. We were ambushed by the Italians,” Kodiak whispered in her ear.
“No, Jesus no,” she screamed feeling her legs go weak underneath her, as she collapsed. If Kodiak hadn’t been holding her, she would have fallen to the floor. Sobs erupted from her belly and she screamed out her pain. She was gutted, completely broken. She would get angry at the Italian’s later, but right then she knew nothing but the pain that filled her heart.
Her two greatest protectors were now dead. It brought her little comfort to know that they would be with her mam, it meant nothing to her. Right then, Branwen just wanted her Da and Uncle Dyfed. Her sobs turned into groans, until she had to escape Kodiak’s arms and run towards the sink, where she vomited, bringing up everything in her stomach. Kodiak took her hair in his hands and held it back from her face while she puked until there was nothing left.
Branwen slid to the ground and brought her knees to her chest, she closed her eyes, begging for the darkness to take her away. The front door slammed open and heavy footsteps sounded through the house.
“Branwen,” Karney roared as he ran towards the kitchen. “Oh, Little Raven,” he whispered as he knelt on the floor beside her and wrapped her in his arms.
“I’m so sorry Little Raven, I’m so fucking sorry. I let them down, they are dead because I didn’t see the Italian cunts,” Karney growled.
Branwen couldn’t say anything, her voice wouldn’t work, she didn’t have the energy to speak a word. All she wanted was to curl up and die, she wanted her mam, and her da. She wanted Uncle Dyfed, she wanted to go back to the day before she turned sixteen when everything was good, everything was happy and normal. And no one was dead.
Chapter Eleven
The days moved like a blur. Branwen walked around their family home and kept check on Andre like she was in a daze. Andre was still breathing and alive, he hadn’t woken, but his wound was healing. Her da and Uncle Dyfed had been laid out together in Da’s bedroom. She had been so shocked when she saw the damage that they both sustained. The men weren’t just shot and killed they were slaughtered. The morgue had patched them both up as best they could, but the damage was just too extensive. Branwen was glad that they didn’t have to take their bodies into the afterlife. Uncle Dyfed had always loved his face and muscles.
Uncle Rauri had been inconsolable when he arrived at the house after Karney told him what had happened. He destroyed most of the living room, smashing the television, and vases. It took Karney and Kodiak to hold him down to stop him from his rampage and potentially hurting himself.
The morning of the funeral, Branwen was doing a final check on Andre, when his eyes fluttered open and he looked up at her. “Nice to have you back with us, Andre,” she said quietly.
“Little Raven,” he said before looking around the room and frowning, he looked down at his bare chest where the wound was, before looking back at her. “Your father and uncle?”
A tear escaped Branwen’s eye, “they are both dead, we bury them today Andre, you have been unconscious for five days.”
“Jesus,” he hissed with a sad shake of his head, before he reached out and took her hand in his. “Little Raven, you are the one to take over as the head of the Murphy family. Karney, he is too hot headed, runs in and does not think, Finnbarr is too timid. But you, you are not only strong and level-headed, but the Italians, when you get revenge on them will not expect a woman as the head.”
Branwen frowned, memories assaulted her of Finnbarr reading the letter from their mam to her, Andre’s words were the same. It was like her mam had known that Branwen would have to bury her da and uncle on the same day, that she knew something like this would happen and was preparing the boys for what was to come. Branwen wanted revenge, her sadness had passed for anger and now she was filled with nothing but the taste of retaliation. She wanted to obliterate the Italians and the entire Ricci family. She wanted them dead, she wanted their loved ones to have to mourn the way that she was mourning her father. Branwen sucked in a deep breath and nodded her head.
“I can see that you want revenge, and I know that you will have success. You are smart Little Raven, you will avenge your father and uncle’s death,” he said before closing his eyes again.
Branwen gave his hand a small squeeze before turning away and wiping the tears that escaped her eyes. When she looked at the door she noticed, Karney and Kodiak standing just inside the room watching her.
“What he said is true, Little Raven,” Karney said.
“Maybe so, but I can’t do this on me own,” she replied, as she busied herself checking tubes and fluids.
Branwen felt Kodiak’s arms surround her as he turned her into his chest, “you have us Little Raven, you will always have us.”
Branwen looked up at Kodiak with a frown, “do I? What about your girlfriend? What is she going to think about this?”
Kodiak gave her a wry smile and shook his head, “there was never a girlfriend, Little Raven, the only girl I have ever loved and wanted is right here in this room. The rumours about another girl, were just that, rumours created by bitches who were jealous because I kept turning them down.”
Branwen felt her lips part a
nd her eyes widen. She had cried for days thinking that Kodiak had a girlfriend, she was heartbroken and the whole time it wasn’t true. She guessed that’s what she got for not actually asking him herself, but rather just believing the rumours.
“You do understand that Karney and Finnbarr are a part of this too,” she said.
Kodiak smiled again and nodded his head, “I have known how they both felt about you for some time, and I suspected that you felt the same just as long. There will be times that I am jealous, that is for sure. But I am willing to share you.”
Branwen shook her head, “I don’t understand how you can be so readily okay to share me, I wouldn’t and am not willing to share you, it makes me so selfish and greedy.”
“Branwen, if you take over as the matriarch of the Murphy family you are going to not only need a number of men that you trust with your life to protect you. I also know that each of us bring something different to a relationship, and that is something you are also going to need. And I would be lying if I didn’t say that seeing you being fucked by one of my best friends did not turn me on a lot,” Kodiak explained, finishing with a chuckle.
Branwen’s cheeks heated and she put her forehead on Kodiak’s firm chest, “I do not want to hear about the little Raven being fucked in any form,” Andre croaked out from the bed behind them.
Kodiak threw his head back and let out a loud booming laugh, while Branwen wanted the earth to open and swallow her whole. “Papa, it is nice to have you back with us,” Kodiak said as he went to his father’s bedside and placed a kiss on Andre’s head.
Andre pat his son’s shoulder and gave him a weak smile, before wincing in pain, it was going to take time before he was completely healed and back to normal. “Moy syn, it is nice to be back, little Raven has been a good doctor it seems, she did not let me die.”