by S L Davies
“What happened this morning?” Karney suddenly asked, breaking the silence.
“What do you mean?” she asked stopping to look up at him.
“Between you and Kodiak, you were both up in the room for a while after we left,” he said, a small wry smile forming on his lips.
Branwen felt her face flush as she reached out and gave Karney a shove, “that’s none of your business,” she said, but couldn’t stop the small smile from appearing on her lips.
Karney raised an eyebrow and smirked, “did he at least treat you right? Was he gentle and did you use protection?”
“Yes, to all of the above, it was good, now can we stop talking about this please?” she said, her face felt like it was on fire with embarrassment and she could only imagine that her cheeks were bright red.
Karney reached out and ran his fingers down over her cheek, before tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, “did you orgasm?” he asked, his eyes darkening. It was the same look that Kodiak would get when they were fooling around, she knew that look, she imagined that if she touched the front of Karney’s pants, he would be hard. The thought made her rub her thighs together to ease the throbbing that was beginning at her apex.
“Yes,” she said huskily.
Karney gave a small smile and leaned forward, kissing her gently on the corner of the lips. Branwen held her breath, she knew that they couldn’t take it any further, what they were doing was wrong. No one would understand and she didn’t want to hurt Kodiak. She knew it was weird, she wanted Kodiak, but she also wanted Karney and Finnbarr. When Karney pulled back, he laced his fingers between hers and continued to walk towards the house. Branwen let go of the breath she had been holding, her head was in a daze. So much had happened, and it wasn’t even lunchtime.
Chapter Eight
It felt like Branwen blinked and it had been three months since her sixteenth birthday. The Murphy family watched as their mam went downhill. She rapidly lost weight and soon she looked skeletal. She was no longer the mam that Branwen knew. Cancer was an ugly disease and when it affected a person’s brain it seemed to make it so much worse.
“Where the fuck is the Raven? I’m fuckin’ hungry, bitch,” Mam screamed with a hoarse voice from the makeshift bedroom that they had made in the sitting room.
“Brigid, that’s enough, Branwen isn’t your slave, she is your daughter, now stop that,” the nurse scolded.
That was something they had to get used to. Her mam had become so nasty as the disease took control of her brain. Branwen knew that it wasn’t her mam, but when she hurled abuse it was hard not to take it to heart. Their da hired a nurse, which had been a god send. The nurse understood the disease, she understood Mam’s personality change and was able to handle their mam when the family was struggling.
Branwen brought the soup she had been heating up, into her mam’s room. Machines beeped and the smell of the room was one of antiseptic. Mam looked so tiny in the hospital bed that sat in the center of the darkened room. Her eyes were huge in her gaunt face, and when she looked at Branwen, it was with no recognition. Mam remembered the name of all her children but couldn’t tell who they were when she saw them. It was so painful.
“Who are you?” Mam growled.
“It’s Branwen, Mam,” Branwen said patiently, it made her heart clench with pain every time she had to look at her mam.
“Branwen,” Mam said with a smile, “my sweet girl, my Little Raven.”
“I’ve brought some soup for you,” Branwen said, coming closer to her mam’s bed.
“Oh, sweet girl, I’m not really hungry,” her mam said, with a moment of clarity washing over her face, “come sit by me, put the soup over there.”
Branwen placed the bowl of soup on the small table and climbed into the bed beside her mam, careful not to lie on any of the various cords and tubes that came from her mam’s body. Mam put her arm around Branwen’s shoulder and stroked her long dark hair.
“I’m so proud of you,” Mam started, causing Branwen to look up into her face. Any confusion that had been there previously was now gone and it was like looking at her mam, the one that she had grown up with. “Little Raven, the day your da and Uncle Dyfed brought you home to me, was the happiest and yet saddest day I had ever experienced. I was so sad because the state those people had put you in was just awful. You were black with dirt, your poor bottom and vagina was swollen and abused. You wouldn’t say a word, we still don’t know what your real name was. It was your Da that named you Branwen. It means Raven, your Uncle Dyfed said that you were like a little bird. So that was the name they chose.”
Branwen closed her eyes to trap the tears that wanted to fall as she listened to her mam talk, “it was Karney that first ever got you to speak. Those boys were instantly protective of you, but Karney, Karney the way he looked at you, I knew that his love was going to run the strongest. He was so gentle with you and so patient. He was reading you a book, one that you seemed to love. You looked up at him and said his name, to ask him to read it again. It was the only time I ever saw that boy choke up with tears. We reckoned you were about two when we got you, and you didn’t speak until you were at least four.”
Mam shook her head and sighed, as she closed her eyes. Her head lolled to the side and her mouth opened slightly. Suddenly Mam’s chest shuddered twice before buzzer’s started ringing throughout the room.
“Mam,” Branwen screamed as she leaped from the bed and looked down at her Mam, begging for her to start breathing again.
The nurse stood and reached feeling Mam’s throat for a pulse, before she shook her head, and shut down the machine that was buzzing. Tears flooded Branwen’s eyes and ran down her cheeks. “No, revive her, please bring her back,” Branwen cried to the nurse.
“I’m sorry dear I can’t do that, she has a do not revive order, I had to let her go,” the nurse calmly explained.
“No,” Branwen screamed, “Da, Karney, Finnbarr.”
Her screaming brought all three running, Branwen turned to look at them. All knew as soon as they saw Branwen’s face, what it meant, she shook her head and sobbed. It was Karney that stepped forward and pulled her into his chest. His body trembled under her hands as she circled her arms around his waist.
“Brigid, oh my beautiful Brigid,” their da called in the background. Branwen couldn’t lift her head from Karney’s chest. Her whole heart was broken, she had never felt a pain quite so deep before. She had no idea how to recover or how to relieve the ache.
****
The funeral wasn’t a big affair. Mam had only wanted something small and intimate, the Murphy family planned it exactly as she wished. Branwen hadn’t realised how many people that her mam had affected, there were people there that Branwen didn’t even know, from politicians to the local garda. Everyone seemed to be broken by the loss of their mam. The day was a blur of people all wanting to share some comfort. Branwen’s mood was as grey as the clouds that hung overhead.
After their mam was left behind in the ground, they headed to the pub, where the men drank copious amounts of whiskey and the women sat around remembering her mam. Branwen sat with her knees curled to her chest, staring at the people, hidden away in the corner.
“How are you coping Little Raven,” Karney asked as he slid into the booth beside her.
“I’m hurtin’, Karney, you know mam was talking about you when she died?” Branwen said.
Karney raised an eyebrow and his eyes widened, “yeah?”
“Yeah, she was telling me about when da and Uncle Dyfed brought me home, she said that you were the first person I spoke to, after two years of being here.”
Karney chuckled and reached out a hand, lacing his fingers with hers, “yeah I was, you loved this book, about a chipmunk, we had got to the end of the book and you turned to me and said ‘Karney, read again?’ I grew about ten feet, I felt so special that my Little Raven had chosen me to speak to,” he said with a grin.
“I love you Karney,” she said leaning
her head on his arm.
Karney kissed the top of her head, “I love you too Little Raven, more than you will ever know and probably more than is appropriate.”
Branwen looked up at him with a frown, “what do you mean?” she asked.
Karney smiled and gave his head a little shake, before kissing her forehead again. “Not today, one day, but not today,” he said quietly.
Branwen’s frown deepened, but she didn’t have time to think much more about it as Kodiak and Finnbarr joined them at the booth. Kodiak frowned looking between her and Karney, before sliding in beside Branwen and pulling her into his lap and kissing her cheek. Over the last three months, her and Kodiak hadn’t had sex again. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to, she wanted him as much now as she did on her birthday, it just felt like there wasn’t an opportunity. Branwen sighed and snuggled in deeper to Kodiak’s chest, drawing on the strength in his arms that were surrounding her.
Chapter Nine
2 years later
The two years since Mam had died, were the hardest two years that Branwen had ever faced. It was like there was a dark cloud that had fallen over the home. No one could break out of the funk. Their da was working with Uncle Dyfed more than ever, after they had found Branwen when she was a baby, their da had decided not to do the work of collecting money that was owed them, instead he sent men out to do it for him. However, once Mam died, he had a new lust for danger, it was as if he needed to release the anger that the world had dealt him. Branwen couldn’t blame him really, she wanted to release her anger too. It wasn’t fair. Of all the people in the world, why God had to take their mam.
Branwen and Kodiak were fighting with each other, they spent more time broken up than together. She knew that the reason was that she couldn’t get out of her own head. That the grief she felt over losing her mam was consuming her. Branwen knew it wasn’t healthy, but she didn’t know how to overcome it. By the time that school had ended for her final year and summer was starting, Branwen and Kodiak decided it was time to end their relationship for good. Kodiak was heading off to university, while Branwen was going to take over her mam’s role in the Murphy business. The role was simple really, it was patching up wounds when the boys came home with them, keeping track of the accounts for the household and their legitimate businesses and loving the family.
“Karney,” Branwen said as she swung the door open to his bedroom. Her eyes widened as she took in the sight in front of her. Karney was laid out on the bed, his head thrown back, his back arched and his cock hard in his fist as it furiously pumped up and down.
Branwen knew she should turn away, she knew she should leave the room, but something about it kept her there transfixed. The tension between her and Karney had been there for years, but over the recent months, it had increased. So much so that Kodiak had started to notice. He questioned whether Branwen and Karney had something going on. They had never acted or even voiced their desire, but they both knew it was there.
Karney opened his eyes and looked over at Branwen, a small smirk spread across his face. Branwen tightened her thighs together, feeling her pussy throb with desire. “Are you just going to stand there?” Karney asked.
Branwen’s voice seemed to have fled, as she took a small, timid step into the room, closing the door behind her. Branwen leaned her back against the wood of the door and continued to watch as Karney slowly stroked his hand up and down his cock. His foreskin was rolled back and the head of his cock purple and angry looking, like it wanted to explode. Branwen’s lips parted and she dashed her tongue along her bottom lip, as she took in everything Karney was doing.
“Why don’t you come and sit on the bed with me?” Karney asked.
Branwen shook her head, “Karney we can’t do this, it’s not right. People wouldn’t understand.”
“People don’t need to know,” he said huskily.
“Let me just watch you,” she whispered.
Karney groaned and his eye lids lowered, “will you touch yourself?” he asked.
Branwen bit her bottom lip but nodded her head, she undid the button and zipper of her jeans, pushing them down over her hips, followed by her panties that were now soaked with her juices. Karney groaned at the sight, the small patch of dark hair glistened with her moisture. Branwen slid her hands down over her stomach and hips, before bringing her fingers to her apex, and sliding them between her lips.
Her clit was swollen and begging to be touched. Her juices were dripping down onto her thighs, as she continued to watch Karney stroke his cock. “Little Raven, please make yourself cum, I’m so close I can’t hold it back much longer,” Karney groaned.
Branwen’s eyes rolled back as she slipped her fingers across her clit, pinching it lightly, feeling the pleasure shoot through her whole body like an electric shock. She continued to circle the bundle of nerves, as her legs quaked, and her breaths came in pants. She wanted to watch Karney, but her pleasure was too much. Her hearing was suddenly hypersensitive, as she listened to Karney’s small groans, and the hitch in his breath. Branwen’s eyes shot open as she felt the beginning of the orgasm take hold.
“Karney, god, I’m gonna cum,” she whispered hoarsely.
Branwen moved her fingers faster over her clit, feeling her pussy throb in time with her heart rate. She was so close to the edge, she pinched her clit once more, sending her flying into ecstasy. Karney let out a long groan, as strings of cum spread over his chest and stomach. They were both breathing heavily as they came down from their orgasms. Suddenly Branwen was hit with a heavy feeling of guilt. She couldn’t believe what she had done.
Yes, Karney wasn’t technically her brother, they weren’t blood related, but he was all she knew growing up as a brother, just like Finnbarr. As if her thoughts conjured him up, the door suddenly swung open, knocking Branwen away and Finnbarr frowned at the sight in front of him. Branwen’s pants were still around her ankles, her pussy was soaked with her juices. Karney was laid out on the bed, his cock soft, but cum all over his chest and stomach.
“What in the ever lovin’ fuck?” Finnbarr whispered with a frown on his face.
Branwen’s face flushed as she quickly bent and pulled her panties and jeans up, before running out of the room. She was so embarrassed- she couldn’t believe that she had gotten so carried away that she would do something like that. What kind of sick person was she? How the fuck was she ever going to be able to look at Karney or Finnbarr the same? Branwen shut herself in the bathroom and ran a bath. Tears fell down her cheeks with her mortification.
Once the room was filled with steam and the bath full of hot water, she quickly undressed and sunk down into the depths. Branwen ran her hands up over her face and closed her eyes. She wasn’t just mortified - she was angry at herself also. She couldn’t believe that she didn’t control herself better. A knock on the door, caused her to sit up suddenly, water splashing over the sides of the bath as she brought her knees to her chest. She knew that it was going to either be Karney or Finnbarr. In a way she hoped that it would be Karney, at least that would be less embarrassing.
“Branwen, I’m comin’ in,” Finnbarr said on the other side of the door.
Branwen sighed and stayed silent as the door opened and Finnbarr popped his head around the doorway. Finnbarr closed the door behind him and slowly slid down the wall until he was sitting beside the bath. He looked over at Branwen, she could barely look at him. His face didn’t read disgust, but he looked concerned.
“Little Raven.”
“Finnbarr,” she said, at the same time as Finnbarr.
Finnbarr smiled and nodded his head, telling her to go first. “I’m really sorry that, that happened, I’m so embarrassed, I don’t know what got into me and why I even did it.”
Finnbarr reached out and ran his hand down over her arm, before kneeling and taking the cloth from the side of the bath and lathering it up with body wash. Slowly he began to wash over Branwen’s back and shoulders.
“I admit that I was shocke
d to see the two of you. But I’m not angry or disgusted. Little Raven, you are a beautiful woman, you were always a beautiful girl. I knew how Karney felt about you, he has loved you more than a sister for many years, but he didn’t know how to act on it, or how you would respond,” Finnbarr explained.
Branwen looked up into his green eyes and sighed. Finnbarr continued to soap over her back and shoulders, slowly working his way over her chest. Branwen’s nipples hardened, but he never went lower than the top of her chest. His green eyes darkened, and she knew that he wanted her. However, now wasn’t the time.
“Finnbarr, if we were all to be in a relationship, what would people say? How would that work? I love both of you, I have for a long time also. But I just don’t think that this is something we should be doing. People see us as siblings. They will think we are sick.”
“Fuck what they think,” Finnbarr growled.
“You say that now, but what about Da? What would he say and Mam, God, Mam would be rollin’ in her grave,” she said with a shake of her head.
“Wait here,” Finnbarr said as he stood and quickly left the bathroom.
Branwen lowered her head to her knees and closed her eyes. She wanted to be more than what they were, but she just didn’t see how it would work. It was sick, people would look at them like they were freaks. Her da, would hate them, Uncle Dyfed and Uncle Rauri would label them as weird or wrong. She couldn’t deal with that. Finnbarr came back into the bathroom and sat back down. He opened an envelope that Branwen recognised instantly. It was a letter from their mam, she had written each of them. Branwen’s letter told of their joy when Da first found her and how much happiness she brough to Mam’s life. Mam had asked her in the letter to take over the role in the family that she had played. Something Branwen was thrilled to do.
“I want to read the letter Mam wrote to me, maybe then you will understand. My sweet Finnbarr,” he began, “I know that I haven’t been able to teach you all that needed to be taught, but then maybe even if I wasn’t dying early, I would never had been able to teach you everything. You are going to grow to be a strong and fine young man, I can see this, because you are already most of the way there.