An Inconvenient Princess: A Retelling of Rapunzel

by Melanie Cellier

  And I had thought Arthur was bound to like her much better, but he was standing here with me, not over there with her. And he had never shown any indication of finding me boring, or disappointing. In fact, now that I thought about it, what prince could afford a wife like Liesa? Maybe a girl with a diplomatic tongue and a practical streak was exactly the right type for a prince.

  I held my breath while I looked at him, waiting for him to notice me.

  “I know you’re staring at me, Penny,” he said with a laugh in his voice, not taking his eyes off the others. “I must look dreadful. Tell it to me straight out. How terrible do I look?”

  “You look perfect,” I said quietly.

  He immediately turned to look at me, a light in his eyes that ignited a fire inside me.

  “What do you think of my sister?” I asked quickly, before he could do or say anything.

  “Anneliese?” He looked back over toward her. “She seems fun. And lively. And brave. And loving—of you, at least.” He looked back at me, grinning. “And a little obnoxious. Dare I even say…irritating? How does one girl get into so much trouble?”

  “Hey!” I said, despite the delighted smile spreading across my face. That was exactly how I felt about her, but that didn’t mean he was allowed to say it. “No one but family is allowed to talk about my sister that way.” I had put up a hand to swat at him playfully, but he captured it and drew me toward him, the burning heat back in his gaze.

  When he had pulled me close against him, he looked down into my eyes. “And what if I were to become her brother-in-law, would I be allowed to say it then?”

  “Umm…” I tried to tear my eyes away from his lips. “I suppose that might be acceptable.”

  He chuckled. “What’s that? No more to say, oh glib girl of mine?”

  I shook my head, and he chuckled again. “Good.” And then he pressed his lips against mine and every last word went flying out of my head.

  Epilogue

  I looked around the room, packed to capacity, and smiled. Anneliese met my eyes across the small crowd and winked before disappearing out the door. I shook my head, wondering what she could be up to, and got roundly scolded by my oldest sister Rynn who was attempting to fix some flowers that had fallen from the magnificent arrangement of my hair. I had never worn it in such an intricate fashion before— but then I had never married a prince before, either.

  It wasn’t Rynn’s favorite activity, but she’d taken over from my next oldest sister when Eva kept getting called away by her children. I had expected Eva to have Hope, her newborn, with her, but somehow, her entourage of little Jack, Jill, Jordan, and Daniel had sneaked in as well, clearly sensing my room was the hub of action for once. I couldn’t remember them ever showing much interest in being in here before.

  And, of course, where Jill went, little Amelia followed. My middle sister Sophie and her husband Henri had been the last of my siblings to return to Astoria for my wedding—as reigning monarchs of Briadell, they couldn’t be away from home for too long. But from the moment they had arrived, their two-year-old daughter in tow, Amelia had been obsessed with her older cousin. The two of them had become inseparable. I didn’t envy Sophie the task of tearing her daughter away to go home once the wedding was over.

  Every now and then, one of the adults would call for all the children to leave the room, but the young ones must have sensed the lack of conviction in everyone’s voices because they made no move to leave, and no one made any real attempt to get rid of them.

  “Penny, I found…oh!” Rapunzel slipped in the door and then stopped to stare at the chaos. My whole family had been together in Astoria for two weeks now, but the poor princess still wasn’t used to what it was like when all of us gathered in one place.

  Two of the children went rolling across my bed, disappearing down the other side with shrieks of laughter.

  “I’m coming to get you,” said Anneliese, making large lumbering motions with her arms as she shuffled after them. There were more shrieks. She must have sneaked back in before Rapunzel arrived.

  “And this,” said Ellie to the room at large, “is why I’m not ready for children. Not yet, anyway. There’s far too much to do first.”

  “That’s what I said,” said Rynn behind me, her pregnant stomach bumping against my back as she tried to stick another wayward flower back in. “I managed to hold off for a few years. I imagine you can, too; but your time will come eventually, Ellie. Especially since you’re a princess. They won’t let you wait forever.”

  “Hah,” said Ellie, a martial light in her eyes. “Cambren isn’t king, so the Anuran court doesn’t get a say. And they’ve been wise enough not to press the issue.” She grinned. “I think they might be worried our children could end up amphibious.”

  “Ever since the royal family granted Conrad his own title for ‘services to the crown’, I’ve been hounded by well-meaning-but-overly-nosy courtiers,” said Rynn. “Apparently the nobles of Farthendale are obsessed with heirs.” She rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t help that Davina is convinced we need to have children at the same time so they can ‘also be bosom-companions for life’. She will feel the same way about you, Penny, as you will be her sister-in-law.” She sighed. “Honestly. If this is how the lot of you felt whenever I bossed you around as children, I will say I fully repent and apologize now.”

  I twisted around to grin at her. Rynn and Conrad had been the first to arrive, traveling down from Farthendale with Arthur weeks before the wedding. I knew that Arthur somewhat hero-worshiped his older cousin, and I had been delighted to finally meet him. And equally relieved to discover that my oldest sister was overjoyed to have her youngest sister join her in Farthendale. She wasn’t even put out that I would now outrank her. She seemed suspiciously overjoyed, in fact…

  “You’re going to be a princess, too, Aunt Penny, just like Aunt Ellie,” announced Jill, appearing at my knee, as if in response to my thoughts.

  I grinned at my niece. “That I am, Jilly-girl.”

  “I want to be a princess,” the three-year-old announced.

  “Well, who knows, maybe one day you will be.” I cast a glance at her mother, but Eva was busy with Hope. She never talked about what would happen once King Eston died over in Guthward, but we all knew she and her husband Phillip were likely to be named heirs long before that happened.

  We were all waiting for them to be called back to take their rightful place in the court of Phillip’s home kingdom. It hadn’t happened yet, despite his finally finishing his studies at the university here in Torina. I suspected it wouldn’t be long, however. King Eston would want them back with him, preparing for the role.

  “You take your time with babies, Ellie,” said Sophie. “They’re exhausting.”

  Eva looked up and chuckled. “Exhausting? Wait until you have five!”

  “No, thank you,” said Sophie, sounding horrified, and we all laughed.

  “It’s a big day for more than me,” I commented.

  Everyone stopped what they were doing as we all exchanged glances.

  “Mortimer,” we all said in unison, and then laughed again. Six sisters weren’t likely to agree on much, but this was one area in which we all felt the same: there was nothing but relief to know we were all going to finally be rid of our fairy godfather.

  “So, I’ve invited some old friends,” said Anneliese abruptly.

  I looked at her warily.

  “I didn’t mention it before now because I wasn’t sure if they’d be able to come. But I popped out now to check, and they’re here.”

  “Who is it, Liesa?” asked Rynn, obviously a little affronted on my behalf that Anneliese would have invited someone to my wedding without asking.

  “Thomas and Cora,” she said, and I smiled. There was nothing mischievous about that. I was delighted to have them.

  “Oh, good,” I said. “I’m glad they could come.”

  “The reason they nearly didn’t make it,” said Liesa, “is because Cora’
s pregnant. Even more pregnant than you, Rynn.”

  “Oh, how wonderful!” I exclaimed, but something about the twinkle in my twin’s eyes was giving me a sinking feeling. “Why are you looking like that Liesa?”

  “Well, it turns out that Mortimer got a real telling off by the Fairy Council after you asked them to free us of him. They said they were giving him one last chance. They said they’d heard of a deserving young couple who he had failed to assist when called upon to do so. A couple who actually wanted a large family this time…”

  “No!”

  Gasps rose all around me.

  “And where did they hear that, hey, Liesa? I can’t believe you would do that to poor Thomas and Cora!” I stared at her, appalled.

  “What?” she asked innocently. “They wanted children. And, besides, we didn’t turn out so badly, did we?”

  We all looked around at each other, and I had to admit she was right. For all the trouble Mortimer had caused over the years, we had all managed to find our happily ever afters. And if he hadn’t sent me to Rapunzel’s tower, I would never have met her, never have freed her.

  And I might never have met Arthur. Or not for years, anyway. I might have only met him when he was already married to some other girl. I shivered at the thought.

  “Oh, you’re cold,” cried Rapunzel. “I’ll fetch you a wrap. The bride shouldn’t be cold!”

  She hurried out of the room, and I noticed Ellie watching her go. “Hasn’t anyone else considered the fact that Rapunzel is the true heir to Astoria?” she asked. It was the kind of point Ellie would notice.

  “Well…” I looked over at Anneliese. “No one’s said anything aloud. But the royal family welcomed her into their home with open arms, and now seem to have secured the whole situation very nicely.”

  “Oh?” Ellie looked curious, but Eva rolled her eyes.

  “I keep forgetting you don’t live here anymore,” she said. “So, you probably haven’t seen them together yet.”

  “Who?” asked Rynn.

  “Rapunzel and Crown Prince Casimir.” I grinned. “They’re wildly in love. He has been ever since he first saw her, but she took a little longer to come around. Not too much longer, though.”

  “Not that I’m too surprised,” said Eva. “It’s sweet, really.”

  “Even if a little sickening to watch,” I interjected.

  Eva smiled at me but continued unabashed. “They are the same age, after all. And it seems to be a great relief to the court.” Her smile grew. “How fortunate that they each discovered just how sweet and charming the other was.”

  I had to acknowledge it was all true. And on top of that, they’d been living in the same palace for nearly a year. I couldn’t actually find a single thing to disapprove of in the match. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if they were just waiting until after my wedding to announce an engagement.

  “Then Rapunzel will most likely become queen of Astoria eventually,” Ellie observed, smiling as though pleased that the situation had been so neatly resolved. “If only all problems of inheritance worked themselves out with so little fuss.”

  I agreed. I was quite delighted for Rapunzel to have a prince—as long as it wasn’t mine. I thought of Arthur and of how soon I would be seeing him at the end of a wedding aisle, and my heartbeat quickened.

  Rynn, still pressed against me, must have felt it, because she leaned down to whisper in my ear. “He’s going to think you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.”

  I grinned up at her because I knew it was true. It didn’t make any sense. After all, I had one sister who had been gifted with unnatural beauty—she had even attempted to turn down being a bridesmaid because she didn’t want to upstage me—and one sister who looked identical to me. But still it was true. One of the many wonderful things about love was that it didn’t have to make any sense at all.

  Rynn looked up, her eyes focusing in on Anneliese. “What about you, Liesa? When are you going to find your prince?”

  “Me?” Liesa froze, a nephew upside down under each arm. “Hopefully never.”

  “Never?” Eva exchanged a look with Rynn. “He doesn’t have to be a prince, you know.”

  “Although you’d be welcome to my brother-in-law, Prince Dauntry,” Ellie said, a little too innocently. “He’s handsome and serious and quite good at being a prince. I’m not sure what else he’s good at, but you could feel free to take him off adventuring for as long as you like.”

  Anneliese grimaced at our next-oldest sister. “Nice try. You’re forgetting that Penny was at your wedding, and she’s already warned me about him. A boring clod like Dauntry is the last person I would marry. Not that I’m interested in getting married at all. In fact, I don’t think I will. I have another goal in mind.”

  Oh dear. Why did I suddenly feel terrified for us all?

  “What goal?” I asked.

  She looked at me, eyes alight. “The Fairy Realm.”

  “Oh, Liesa.” Rynn shook her head.

  “What?” My twin sounded unbothered by her oldest sister’s disapproval. “I’ve been there once, I can get there again. I’m sure of it. I was only on the very fringe, but it was amazing.” She seemed to float off into a dream, and I sighed.

  I wasn’t really surprised to hear that Liesa would rather go adventuring than settle down and get married. I just had a sinking suspicion that if she ever did find a man to her taste, it might be a fairy off in those mystical realms of hers. One of those young hotheads Mortimer had mentioned, no doubt.

  Even if she did get married one day, for Anneliese, the adventure was the happily ever after. A husband would simply be a nice extra. And it would be just like her to pit herself against not only the human kingdoms and her own family, but the Fairy Council as well when she did find one. At least she had enough fire to take them all on, whatever happened. And enough royal relatives to bail her out of whatever trouble she ended up in.

  The door opened again, but it was my mother who entered, not Rapunzel, a shawl hanging over her arm.

  “Mother!” I leaped to my feet and embraced her. Since coming back, I felt as if my eyes had been opened. For so many years I had thought that no one much noticed or cared about me except Anneliese. But how much of that had come from my own assumptions?

  My parents were an unusual pair, it was true, totally unequipped for life in a city or life with so many children. But they still loved me—I saw that now. They had loved me enough to know I needed to go after Anneliese. And they had loved me enough to welcome me back with open arms. I wanted to laugh now at my thought that they might sell the house while I was gone and quietly move away. They might not have chosen their life, but they wouldn’t have changed it now, either. I had needed to realize that for myself before I could recognize it in them.

  When I had returned, betrothed to Arthur, I had realized that Liesa and I were their only daughters to come back from adventuring unmarried. Despite having seven children, they had never been called on to host a wedding. And so, I had set to work on Queen Cassia here in Astoria and on Arthur’s parents in Farthendale.

  Mortimer must have been telling the truth about the gift he gave me. Because I hadn’t had much hope of succeeding—not when Arthur was a Farthendellan prince—and yet, here we all were, gathered for my family’s first Astorian wedding.

  Queen Cassia had been delighted to host it since she had not been able to host the wedding of her own daughter to Arthur’s older brother. And she had been eager to oblige the dear friend who had brought Rapunzel to her. (A fact I’m sure had nothing whatsoever to do with Rapunzel’s legitimate, fairy-supported claim to Queen Cassia’s throne.)

  And in the light of Queen Cassia’s warm invitation, Arthur’s parents had found themselves agreeing to the request of their soon-to-be daughter-in-law. And as far as I could tell, no one even seemed too upset at the arrangement.

  “You look beautiful, my dear,” said my mother. “Every bit the princess.”

  I smiled at her th
rough sudden, unshed tears.

  “We’ll miss you here,” she said, and this time I believed her and felt sad to be leaving her all alone. Anneliese I knew was only staying around long enough to be one of my bridesmaids alongside our other sisters.

  “Don’t count on having too much time for missing anyone,” said Eva wryly from behind us.

  I threw her a questioning look, and she smiled happily. “Mother and Father have invited us to move in now that you’re all going to be gone for good. They want to make use of this drafty old place, so we’re going to help them set up a school for orphans. It will be good practice for the one we want to start in the duke’s mansion when we return to Guthward.”

  “That sounds like a good use of the space,” said Rynn approvingly.

  My mother chuckled. “We never knew what to do with you all running around. But now that you’re gone, we find we don’t know what to do without you.”

  I stared at her for a moment before breaking into a smile. If I had ever needed confirmation of how wrong I had been, here it was. Far from wishing their youngest child gone, my parents were opening their home to many more children. I looked around my room, currently so full of life. I liked the thought that bright chatter would soon fill it again.

  Martin stuck his head in the door but nearly pulled out again at the chorus of greetings he received. “Princess Clio keeps asking me when the wedding is starting.” He grunted. “I think she just wants to hurry up and get to the dancing part at the end.”

  “Why aren’t you one of the bridesmaids, Martin?” asked Sophie, the old wicked gleam in her eye. “Or bridesman, I suppose. You’d look as pretty as any of us in a nice suit.”

  “As long as you wore a hat,” said our mother promptly, and we all fell about laughing as Martin stomped off in disgust.