When Fake Changed Everything

by J P Sayle

  We’d been friends for forever; the fake boyfriend shit was messing with my head that’s all. Yep, that’s all it was.

  Resigned to the lies I was telling myself, I went to see what other tortures Jamie was going to inflict on me.

  Four hours and more minutes than I wanted to count later, we sat in a diner eating a well-deserved burger. The heap of bags, and my now meagre bank account, attested to why my feet ached along with my temples.

  “Did I really need five shirts, four pairs of pants, three pairs of shoes and that gunk to put on myself?”

  Jamie

  I SWALLOWED THE BITE OF food I was chewing and wiped my lips with the napkin before I turned my attention to Todd. I’d been waiting for him to say something ever since he’d laid one on me in the shop. But no, he started off by complaining about what I’d made him buy.

  “All the things you bought today were long overdue. When was the last time you actually went shopping for anything that wasn’t a tool or piece of equipment for work?” Sucking my lips together, I valiantly tried to keep the giggles to myself.

  He looked so lost while I could see him trying to work it out.

  When all I got was a shoulder shrug, I couldn’t help but hammer my point home. “See, I was right, it was long overdue.”

  We continued to eat our burgers, both of us apparently not wanting to discuss the mind-altering kiss. I’d been kissed a fair bit over the years and I’d received some pretty mind-blowing kisses. And I’d like to say I could give as good as I got. But nothing prepared me for when Todd laid one on me.

  Boy, oh boy could he kiss. He took it to a whole new level I’d never imagined existed. He’d melted all the grey matter in my head and made me lose the ability to think. All I was capable of was feeling while immersing myself in the kiss. The fucking thing touched every part of me, all the way down to my toes.

  I gave a mournful sigh. How were we ever going to go back to the way things were?

  “What is it, Bluebell?”

  His quiet concern touched my inner sadness and I gave him a smile that I hoped masked my own worries about how he might just have ruined me for anyone else. He’s always held your heart.

  And wasn’t that the truth.

  “Did I fuck things up by kissing you? I’m sorry. It was just an impulse… I was worried the shop assistant was getting ready to try it on with me.” There was humour in his voice, but also fear.

  Impulse, was that all it was? My heart sank. Why would it be anything more than that?

  “Nah, it’s not the kiss… I was just figuring out what to do with… your hair.” It was the best I could come up with, and I knew it would be enough to deter him from nagging at me.

  There was now a scowl firing at me as he sat back, almost as if I was going to start cutting at his locks.

  “Keep any ideas about taking me to a beauty parlour to yourself. It ain’t happening, not in this lifetime. The clippers I have, work just fine.” His hands trembled as they roamed over his cropped, untidy hair.

  The messy style, though I’d never admit it, suited him, but he was too much fun to let it go. “What, you mean you wouldn’t go and get your hair cut for me?” I fluttered my eyelashes and gave him my biggest smile. The one that always got him doing anything I asked. I kept it going until he sagged against the red vinyl seat in defeat. Laughter rippled up my chest at his hang-dog expression.

  “I’m only kidding… well sort of. You really could do with a trim.” I chortled, but let the subject go when he paled. “Finish your burger before it goes—”

  “Well, what do we have here? Out for dinner with your boyfriend?” a snotty voice asked, shutting me up.

  My boss stood not more than three feet from us, glaring down at Todd. The discussion the day before about being seen in public sprung to mind.

  “Hello Brent, this is Todd Garret, my boyfriend.” I shifted my gaze to Todd offering him a ‘please play along’ smile. “Todd, this is my boss, Brent.”

  Todd dropped his napkin to the table and offered up his hand, “Hey, nice to meet you. Bluebell has mentioned you a few times.”

  The way he said it inferred the exact opposite and I clamped my lips together to stop a silly grin from appearing. This was the Todd I loved, the one who always stood up for me. Showing his unwavering support, no matter what the circumstances were.

  When Brent took Todd’s hand in what looked like the weakest handshake of all time, I could see that Todd was sizing him up. Something crossed Todd’s face and was gone before I could decipher it.

  Brent shifted his beady eyes to me, then back to Todd as he spoke, “Bluebell? I’m sorry you’ve lost me.”

  “Jamie. It’s what I’ve always called him. Look at those beautiful baby blues, don’t they remind you of a dainty bluebell? It’s what drew me to him the moment I met him. They remind me of the beginning of spring when the flowers start to bloom.”

  The sigh escaped before I could stop it, and with it came a furious blush. My insides were all gooey and warm like a hot chocolate pudding. Todd spoke with such love and affection that I could almost believe he meant it. I leant on the table with my elbows and cupped my face, partly hiding my cheeks. “Oh, stop that, you sappy sod.”

  Todd turned his gaze towards me and my lungs simply forgot how to work. There was so much conveyed in that moment, I was convinced Todd could take up a career as an actor. I really believed he loved me, not as a friend but as a real boyfriend. It tugged at my heartstrings better than Eric Clapton could pluck on his guitar.

  I was so fucked right now.

  “Oh, isn’t this cute,” Brent said with an ugly sneer.

  It broke the spell and I moved my gaze back to him. “Yes, it is. We were just finishing up. I’m sure you’re too busy to linger.” The ‘why don’t you fuck off’ smile I gave him didn’t work, and he remained standing by the table.

  “So I take it you will be coming with Jamie to the party on Saturday?”

  Why was he asking that?

  Todd nodded, his hand slipping across the table to take hold of mine. The reassuring squeeze settled the ball of knots in my belly.

  “Yes I am, and I can’t wait to show him off. He is going to be the belle of the ball, all dolled up in his finery. Have you seen him all beautified?” Todd’s question was met with a curt “No,” before he carried on. “Then you’re in for a real treat.” Not elaborating further, Todd gave my hand another squeeze before releasing it to pick up his burger.

  The way he dismissed Brent had me cheering on the inside, but as I had to work with the prick on Monday, I relented. “Well, it was nice to catch up. I’ll see you on Monday.” Giving my best fake smile, I picked up my own burger and took a big bite of the now lukewarm food.

  I let out a breath the moment Brent gave a mean-eyed stare at Todd before stalking off without saying goodbye. Choking on my burger, I picked up my cherry soda float and took a big gulp. Swallowing, I let the cherry flavour boost my mood before I set my glass down and stared at Todd.

  “Were you trying to provoke him? What was that about me getting dolled up? I have no intention of wearing my usual clothes. I’ve picked out a nice sedate suit to wear.”

  “Hell no, you will not dumb yourself down for those assholes. No way, Bluebell, it ain’t happening.”

  His blustering was really cute, but I had to put him straight. “I’m not doing it for them, silly. I’m doing it for you. I know this is a fake date and all, but I didn’t want you to be embarrassed by me.” I tensed at the glower gracing Todd’s face. I battled on. “I know you wouldn’t be seen dead with a guy who wears make-up, flouncy clothes, and high heels.”

  His hand rose, along with a glint of steel in his dark eyes. “You can stop that shit right now. When have I ever been embarrassed by you? When? I’m hurt that you would even think that you need to change who you are for me.” With that, he got up out of the booth. His back as rigid as a board, he strode out of the diner, not once looking back.

  The genuine
hurt I’d seen on his face made me ashamed. Never in all the years we’d been friends, had he ever spoken to me with real anger. I felt the stab to my heart and it bled for what was, I could see, a really stupid thing that I’d done.

  I’d classed him the same as all those other people who’d judged me for the way I was. He was right. He’d never once looked at me like I was a freak. Tears blinded me and I blinked them back. Working to swallow past the ball lodged in my throat, my brow pinched tightly.

  I needed to fix this, but how? It was my own stupid fault for telling fibs in the first place. If I’d just accepted the date and not embroiled myself in all this pretence, I wouldn’t be in this mess.

  You wouldn’t have got the best kiss of your life either.

  I couldn’t argue with my own logic, even if it hurt to think I’d ruined my lifelong friendship with Todd. You haven’t. Get up and go and beg for his forgiveness.

  With that thought ringing in my head, I paid the bill, grabbed all of Todd’s forgotten bags and trudged home. When I got to my apartment block, I could see Todd sat on the bench outside the front door. My neighbour was sat next to him, probably discussing the weather. It was his favourite topic. Well that and football season.

  Slowing my pace, I examined Todd’s face. The anger was still there, along with the hurt. It shone out of his eyes as clear as day. I’d known him too long to miss it. I sidled up to the bench giving both men a smile.

  “Hi Stan, it’s another beautiful day for sitting outside.” The autumnal weather was being kind to us. There was an unseasonal warmth to the air.

  “It is. I seem to have found someone you’ve lost.” His thumb jerked at Todd as he chewed on the gum he used to help stop him smoking.

  When Todd said nothing, I nodded, “I see that. It was good of you to keep hold of him for me. But I think I can take care of him now.” With a cheeky wink, I prayed that Todd wouldn’t have another pop at me until we were behind closed doors. When he got up and followed me up the stairs after saying his goodbyes to Stan, I breathed a little easier.

  Once we were inside the apartment, I dropped the bags onto the couch. Bracing for what was to come, I swung around and launched into my apology. “I’m sorry. I should never have implied that you would be embarrassed by me. I stupidly thought it would help. I didn’t want you to feel awkward.” I offered a watery smile holding up my hands when his face went mutinous. “Please, I’m not explaining myself properly. I know you’ve never judged me, but this is different. We’re going out as a couple. Yes, it’s fake, but the guys you’ve dated don’t dress like me. I wanted you to be comfortable.” It hurt to think about the types of guys he did date, so I pushed the thoughts away of jean-wearing, beer-swilling burly guys that matched him better than I ever could.

  “What’s that got to do with anything? I’ve dated guys that look like me. So what? You are my best friend, I’m proud to be seen with you. I always have been, and going on a fake date doesn’t change that.” He huffed out the last part, sounding really exasperated.

  “Okay, I get it. And again I’m sorry. I just don’t want this fake date thing to come between us.” I flopped down on the couch and tugged on my hair. “I wish I’d never said I had a boyfriend and put you in this stupid position to begin with. I should have just said yes to the prick and hoped he’d give up after that.”

  I squealed as I was lifted off the couch so fast that I felt a little queasy. I was flipped over and plonked onto Todd’s firm thighs. Not getting a chance to gain my bearings, a large hand landed hard on my bottom.

  Arching up in an attempt to get away, my hands flew up as I struggled, panting and swearing as another blow landed, then another. “Whatttttt, are you playiinnnggg at?”

  “I’m fed up listening to you say stupid shit, so I’m teaching you a lesson,” Todd growled, his palm landing again.

  Heat seared my ass and then something really unnerving happened. My dick started to plump. The warmth spread out from my ass and through my body. On a wheezing breath, I groaned and pushed back, my body taking over even as my brain screamed at me that the pain was not my friend. My cock, on the other hand, felt that it totally was, and ground down on the firm thighs beneath me, seeking friction.

  It took several more spanks for me to realise I was humping Todd like a dog in heat.

  I could feel the colour as it flooded my face. What was I doing? I was so close to coming in my underwear it wasn’t funny. I wiggled and gripped hold of Todd’s legs and shoved back. The move allowed me the momentum to shift away before Todd landed another blow.

  With my heart drumming in my chest, I scrambled off Todd’s lap and glared at him. My chest heaved and I inhaled then exhaled, willing myself to calm down. “I’m… I’m… why would you…?”

  “Spank you?” His brow rose. The intensity in his gaze pinned me in place.

  “Yes, that,” I said, squirming when his eyes dropped down to the more than obvious arousal his actions had caused.

  “You needed it.” With that he got up and sauntered to the bags I’d put down. Collecting the bags he walked to the door, then turned to look back at me, his gaze roaming down my body and making me feel exposed. “And I’ll do it again, any time you say stupid shit about dating other men.”

  He walked out, leaving me stunned. What did that mean? The cock throbbing in my pants was more than happy with the implication, but my mind didn’t have a clue how to respond.

  Leave it be.

  As if I could. I stomped to the seat, ignoring the tightness in my pants and sat my stinging backside down. Burying my head in my hands, I groaned aloud. You are in over your head sonny boy. They were the words my mother had often said when I’d come home from school bruised and I’d headed straight for my bedroom to look at what I could wear the next day to provoke the bastards. Only I had no one to fight against this time but myself.

  This is all going to end in tears.

  With that sentiment running amok through my head, I shut my eyes and hoped that I’d survive what was coming next.

  Todd

  ON TREMBLING LEGS, I MADE it into the bedroom before they gave out. I slid down the door, the bags plopping onto the carpet next to me. The arousal sword-fighting with my zipper was on to a losing battle. There was no way I was going to have a jerk off session from the desire I’d got from spanking Jamie. It was just not happening. Growling down at my lap, I pushed my cock until it relented enough to stop pressing at my fly.

  With a loud moan, I banged my head against the door. What was I thinking? How did I end up spanking my best friend? My brow arched at the ridiculousness of the question. The moment he’d said he should have dated the poncey dick, I’d seen red. The mere thought of the guy touching what belonged to me, made me want to punch his lights out.

  I gulped past the panic rising in my chest. Oh shit. Jamie wasn’t mine and never would be, so I needed to get that idea right out of my head. Fake, it was all fake, nothing more than that.

  Then why kiss him?

  Burying my head in my hands, I scowled down at the carpet. I was too old to be playing these games with myself. I wanted to say it was a spur of the moment thing to kiss Jamie, but it wasn’t. For years, I’d thought about kissing his plump, lush mouth. Fuck, I could probably write a sonnet on his mouth. I wasn’t kidding, it was a thing of beauty. His top lip formed a perfect bow, whereas his lower lip was plump and ripe like a peach. It begged to be eaten in great greedy bites. And hadn’t I done that? Oh yeah, as if I could forget. It was forever imprinted on my mind, on my heart, and on my soul.

  It touched me in ways a kiss never had before. There was a rightness to it I’d never felt before. It was as if I’d found a piece of me that I wasn’t aware was missing until our mouths connected, then all the pieces of me came together, with Jamie slap bang in the middle.

  This was dreadful. How did I go back to being friends, when I wanted so much more than that? My heart sank as I slowly got up off the floor. The bags of clothes drew my attention and for
ced me to pull myself together. I hung the clothes up, reminding myself constantly it was fake, nothing more. Get that through your thick skull. Maybe if I kept reiterating the same thing over and over, it would eventually sink in, right?

  Two days later, I’d given up believing there wasn’t any way we could go back to the way things were before Jamie had moved the goal posts. Remember you’re the one who kissed him. All he wanted was a fake boyfriend for a night.

  Clenching my fists, my knuckles cracked loudly in the silent room. I stood at the window watching Jamie walk down the street, hips swaying enticingly.

  With a concerted effort, I stepped away and went to grab a bowl of cereal. I sat on the breakfast bar stool and stared off into space.

  Why was Jamie acting weird?

  All day Sunday and then yesterday when he’d got home from work, he’d acted like he’d taken a hit of heroin or some such shit. He was jumpier than a polecat with buckshot in his ass. He couldn’t sit still for more than two minutes. Then there was the strange way he’d kept staring at my body.

  I didn’t tend to worry about how I looked; working outside most of the time kept me reasonably fit. My belly could be a little firmer and I supposed some would say I was maybe a bit too hairy, but it never bothered me. It was what it was and I’d never wanted to change it.

  The cereal stuck at the back of my throat, refusing to shift as I glared at the breakfast bar like it was planning on insulting me. Did Jamie think I was unattractive?

  What does it matter? Friends remember.

  The food turned to cement in my stomach and forced me to stop eating. Emptying the bowl in the bin, I washed up my dishes and headed for a shower. My plans for the day were to stretch out on Jamie’s comfy couch and read one of the romance novels on my Kindle. It was my secret passion. I loved a steamy romance where a couple of mismatched men found their happy ever after.