by Sarah Hill
She saw one of the salt licks left out for the cattle a few feet from where she was walking and sat down next to it. Licking her index finger, she swiped it across the lick and then placed her finger to her tongue. Maysen told her she shouldn’t do that because the dyes in them could poison her, but it was only a tiny taste. It helped to drag herself out of the overwhelming thoughts swirling in her head and back to the present.
Looking out across the pasture, she watched as one of the calves jumped around bucking its head and legs in different directions. Giggling at the sight helped release some of anxiety pent up inside her. Laughing had a way of lifting her spirits in some of the darkest moments. When she was younger and her mom left her for days at a time by herself, she’d walk to one of the fields and watch the calves play. It gave her a bit of happiness and made her feel like she wasn’t so alone all the time. Maybe that’s how she’d unconsciously wondered to this field, feeling a pull from that part of her childhood.
The calf ran to its momma and began nursing. Rylie pulled her legs against her chest and rested her chin on her knees, smiling. Those little guys sure were rough, butting their heads against the udders the way they did. It amazed her that they didn’t get kicked more often. It had to be uncomfortable for the heifers, yet they just kept chewing the grass as if nothing was happening. Rylie heard a motor in the distance and looked over her shoulder. The feed truck was coming down the dirt road towards the gathering cattle. It was an old beat up Ford pulling a trailer behind it. Spotting Maysen and his sister hanging on to the railing of the trailer, she stood up and waved. Maysen’s eyebrows scrunched together as he pulled his work gloves off and stuck them in his back pocket. Grabbing on to the railing he pitched himself over the side in one smooth motion and jogged over to her.
Shielding her eyes from the sun, she smiled and said, “Hey. I guess luck was on my side this morning. I didn’t know if I’d see you today.”
Maysen grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close, kissing her softly. Though his lips were warm, she felt chills go down her spine from the unexpected show of love. “Good morning, beautiful. Listen, I know I’ve haven’t been myself the last few days. I just needed to think and get my bearings. I need to finish feeding, but are you free this afternoon?” he asked, looking intently into her eyes.
It took her a second to shake the fog from her head and jerk her head into a nod. “Yeah. I don’t have any plans.”
Kissing her forehead, he said, “I’ll see you later then.” He turned and ran back towards the slow-moving trailer from which his sister was already bucking untwined bales, leaving an explosion of hay in the trailers wake.
Rylie watched him jump back onto the trailer bed and fall right back into the groove of feeding the cows. The uncertainty she’d been feeling about their future just moments ago melted away as she watched the cattle trot towards the hay trail and start munching. Unable to keep the elation she felt from spreading across her lips and placed her hand over her mouth to hide the grin that now adorned her face.
Rylie was brushing her hair for the third time when she heard the familiar horn of Maysen’s truck blare from outside. Looking in the mirror one last time, she pressed her lips together and grabbed her notebook. As she past through the kitchen where Del sat peeling potatoes and watching T.V., she waved and said, “I’m going out with Maysen for a bit.”
Del’s knife paused atop the potato she was holding. “Will you be back for supper?”
Rylie paused and said, “I’m not sure.”
“Well, where are you going?”
Shrugging, she laughed and said, “I don’t know that either. I promise to be careful wherever it is.” She leaned over kissed Del’s cheek and ran out the door. She hadn’t felt this light in days and she didn’t want the feeling of euphoria to fade. Hurrying out the gate to Maysen’s truck, she hopped into the passenger’s seat and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Hey!” she exclaimed, with a smile.
“Hey,” Maysen repeated. “You ready?”
Rylie nodded and said “Yes, I’m not sure for what, but most definitely ready!”
Grinning, Maysen backed out of the driveway and started up the gravel road. “Have you eaten lunch?”
“No, but now that you mention it, I am a little hungry. Are we getting lunch?”
“You’ll see.” Maysen winked and then turned his attention back to the road. He turned down a dirt road and they bumped their way down it for about ten minutes. Then he veered off the road and drove through a field of grass until they came to a stop in front of a barbed wire fence.
Raising her eyebrows, she looked at him and asked, “Are we hunting rabbits for lunch?” Other than the tree line a couple hundred yards past the fence, there was nothing but pasture grass for miles.
Chuckling, Maysen got out of the truck and disappeared around the back. He reappeared at her door, opening it and offering to help her out. Taking his hand, she jumped down from the seat and then watched him as he reached into the back of the truck and pulled out a basket. “Fancy a picnic?” he asked, raising the basket above his head.
“Seriously? I’d love to, I’ve never been on a picnic.”
Maysen reached past her and shut her door, then took her hand in his. At the fence, he stretched the barbed wire apart, placing his foot on the bottom wire and pulling the top wire up with his hand. “After you.”
Rylie stooped down and went through the space he’d created. She turned back and watched in awe as he grabbed one of the wooden posts and heaved himself over the top. After he’d pulled the basket through the wires, he took her hand again and led her towards the trees. As they entered the shade of the trees, Rylie looked up into the canopy and closed her eyes. She breathed in the smell of the creek and surrounding cottonwoods. She always loved the creek; it was a place she could be Rylie Skeet, the dirty little tomboy nobody paid attention to.
“I adore the creek. I think it runs through my veins.” Rylie opened her eyes and turned her gaze back to Maysen, who was quietly admiring her a few feet away. “What?” she asked, feeling her cheeks flush.
“Nothing. I just can’t get over how beautiful you are.” Snapping out of his daydream he reached his hand out to her and said, “Come on.”
They didn’t go far. As they came around a short bend in the creek, there was a small mound of earth that rose two feet above the creek. It was covered in thick blades of grass and soft fern. The nursery rhyme, Little Miss Muffet Sat on a Tuffet rolled through her head. “Are we eating curds and weigh?” she asked, giggling.
Maysen’s forehead creased and his nose scrunched. “Curds and weigh?”
“From the nursery rhyme.” When he continued staring at her like she’d lost her mind, she huffed and said, “Little Miss Muffet?”
“Yeah, I know the rhyme.”
“That little area made me think of a tuffet,” she said, pointing at the area above the creek.
“Okay. Well, I hope you won’t be disappointed because we aren’t eating curds and weigh.” Maysen pulled a blanket from the basket and spread it out across the soft grass. Sitting down, he patted the spot next to him and then started pulling containers from the basket. He peeled off the top of one Tupperware container revealing fried chicken and gave her a playful look.
“Where did you get that?” she asked, amazed at his planning.
“I asked my mom to fry some up for us,” he said, pulling out a small round container and shaking it front of her. “Potato salad and,” he said, as he reached back in and pulled out a glass milk bottle. It had been washed and refilled with a transparent brown liquid. “Sweet tea.”
“My favorite,” she gushed.
“I know. I also know how much you love the creek. I found this spot yesterday on my walk and knew it would be the perfect spot for a picnic.”
“You went for a walk yesterday? You should have stopped by; I would have come with you.”
Maysen shook his head and said, “Nah. I was walking to clear my head and think. If
I brought you along, I wouldn’t have been able to sort things out.”
Rylie felt an uneasiness drop into the pit of her stomach. “Oh, I see. Were you able to sort out what you needed to?”
“I did,” he said, handing her a paper plate and napkin.
Taking the plate, she frowned and asked, “and?”
“Have you told Mrs. Matthews you’re taking the scholarship?” he asked, pouring tea into two plastic cups.
“What? No. I don’t know if I am,” she said, anxiety poking at her heart.
“You have to take it, Rylie,” he said, his eyes meeting hers. “Listen, I have played every scenario in my head and the only one that makes sense is you taking the scholarship.”
“What about us?” she asked, the space in her stomach hardening as she braced for the worst.
“It’s like we said before, you’ll come home for visits and I’ll come to New York whenever I can get away. We’ll make it work. I know I distanced myself from you and I want to apologize.”
“You don’t have to apol-” she started.
Maysen placed his hand over her mouth and said, “Yes, I do. I know it probably felt like I was ignoring you or angry, but the truth is, I was scared. Plain and simple. I hoped you’d win the scholarship until you did and then it was like the world shattered around me. I realized that if you left, we may not be together in the end. As I thought about the last year, especially the last several weeks,” he paused and smiled at her causing her to blush. She knew he was referring to their nights in the tree house and found it hard to not look away. “I realized, nothing can tear us apart,” he said, kissing her and smiling.
October 2010 ~ Morning
Del was in surgery for just over four hours when Rylie stepped outside to call Spencer and see how his day was going. He picked up after the fourth ring. “There’s my beautiful wife. I wondered when I would hear from you. How’d the surgery go?”
“Still going,” she answered, leaning against the cement wall of the hospital. She’d been sitting way too much this morning and chose to stand up for a bit to stretch. “The doctor just let us know that the surgery is going well and they are halfway there. Del was a little more clogged up than they realized and they had to go another route midway through. So, it’s taking longer than we thought. Norm had a few errands to run, so he left. I think he hates hospitals so much he made an excuse to get out of here. I don’t blame him; he’s been here almost the same amount of time as Del. He needs to get out and take breaks more often. Anyway, I figured I’d call you and see how things were going.”
“Everything is going smoothly so far. Alex was a trooper waking up. He got dressed, ate all his pancakes and was on time for school. I’m proud of him and I must admit, of myself too. I didn’t think I’d make a good substitute for you, but it turns out I’m not too bad at this single dad thing. At least, so far. It is only day one.”
“Enjoying the single dad thing, are you?” she joked.
“I didn’t say I was enjoying it. I said I wasn’t bad at it. It isn’t something I would ever want to do without my best friend.”
“The feeling is mutual, my love. I wish you were here to help me get through this,” she said, grimacing.
“I offered and I would still book plane tickets for Alex and I in a second, if you wanted me to.”
Rylie kicked at a pebble laying on the cement and said, “I know. I was just too frantic to allow myself to stop and think about what to expect. I didn’t think about how it would feel having to wait hours like this and the kind of support I might need. It would be nice to have a warm hand to hold.”
“Say the words and I’m there.”
Spencer’s voice sounded hopeful and as much as she wanted to give in, she knew now wasn’t the time. She still had things from her past to face before she even considered him and Alex coming to visit Del and Norm with her. “Soon. I think I’ll be ready soon, just not yet, Spence.”
“Okay. I’d say I get it, but I don’t. I will just say, one day I hope I do. I love you so much, Rylie.”
She could hear the emotion in his voice and it broke her heart. “I love you too. So much more than you’ll ever realize.”
Spencer sighed on the other end of the phone. “Well, I better get back to work,” he said and then added, “hey, Rye?”
“Yeah?”
“When you get back, I want to plan a family vacation. Maybe we’ll even get time have a romantic dinner, just the two of us.”
Smiling to herself, she said, “That sounds amazing. Where would you like to go?”
“You know what, I think I’d like to surprise you. I’m going to plan the best vacation for you and Alex. When you get back, I will have an entire vacation planned,” he said.
She heard the delight in his voice and laughed. “I can’t wait to see what you have up your sleeve.”
“This will be one of my favorite projects. I love you, Rye. Talk
soon.”
“Talk soon, my love.” She ended the call and took a deep breath. Spencer was such an amazing man. She was truly blessed with the best husband a girl could ever hope for. Scanning the parking lot, she saw her car rental and debated going for a drive to clear her mind, but she knew she’d never be able to leave with Del still in surgery.
Looking around, her eyes rested on a young girl sitting at one of the steel tables that dotted the hospital courtyard. She was holding a cigarette in one hand and immersed in the book she had on the table in front her. Rylie made her way towards the girl.
“Mind if I sit?” she asked.
The girl looked up from her book and frowned before taking a drag from her cigarette. “It’s a free country, but if you’re looking for conversation I’d look elsewhere. No offense, but this is a good book.”
Nodding, Rylie slid onto the chair opposite the girl and said, “I understand. I love a good book.” Pointing at the cigarette in the girl’s hand she added, “I just wanted to tell you why I was here really quick.”
The girls’ eyebrows cinched closer together as she narrowed her eyes at Rylie and said, “What, you want a drag? I don’t even know
you.”
“No. No, I definitely do not want a drag. I’m here because of cigarettes, though.”
“I don’t know what you’re trying to get at and I’m not trying to be rude, but would you mind spitting it out?”
Feeling an uneasiness in her stomach as she thought about the best way to say what she wanted to say, Rylie gulped and said, “You see, I’m here today because my guardian, the woman who raised me, is having surgery because her arteries are clogged with plaque.” She paused and then said, “plaque that formed due to smoking.”
The girl’s mouth fell open as she scowled at Rylie. “Are you
serious? You came over here to preach to me about not smoking?” The girl took another long drag from the cigarette and blew it in Rylie’s face. “According to the Surgeon General, second hand smoke is worse than the actual act of smoking. So, if I were you, I’d mind my own business.” The girl slammed her book shut and in one swift movement grabbed it and slid out of her chair. Rylie heard her mutter something that sounded an awful lot like, ‘Bitch’, before she stalked off to sit at a table further away. Shooting Rylie another nasty look, she shook her head and went back to reading.
Well, that went well, she thought to herself as she stood up and headed back into the hospital.
She wandered the halls, stopping to admire the pink faced babies through the maternity ward window. She’d always thought putting babies on display like a pet shop was an odd thing to do. Strangers peering in at other people’s babies was a little creepy to her. Of course, most were parents of the newborns and their family and friends and they probably weren’t paying attention to any baby but their own.
As she past by a couple vending machines, she stopped and scanned the contents to see if anything could tempt her. Her eyes landed on a bag of Twizzlers. She dug in her pocket and pulled out a five-dollar bill. Ins
erting it into the bill validation slot she watched as it was pulled in by the tiny squeaking spinners. Halfway in, it stopped and pushed the bill back out, causing her to growl in frustration.
“Seriously?” Remembering a trick she used in high school, she grabbed the ends, stretched the bill tight and ran it against the metal edge of the machine to iron out any wrinkles. Placing the bill back into the lips of the validator she whispered, “Take the damn money, you hunk of junk.” She pushed the bill forward and watched as the machine slowly started to suck it in and then stopped mid-way once again. Losing her patience, Rylie grabbed the bill before the machine had released it and it tore in half. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open as she looked at the mutilated bill in her hand. Gritting her teeth, she looked at the machine and said, “My name is Rylie Johnson, you killed the only cash I had, prepare to die!” She kicked the machine and gave it a shake as she groaned. Movement in her peripheral vision caused her to look to her left where a woman stood in front of the elevator banks holding her son’s hand and staring at her with a frown on her face.
“It ate my money,” Rylie said, pointing at the machine.
The woman got onto the elevator and pulled her son on with her, keeping her eyes trained on Rylie.
Rylie gave the machine one last kick and then headed back towards the waiting room. Maybe Norm was back and he could help keep her entertained.
As she past by the chapel, the sound of crying stopped her in her tracks. She backed up and peeked through the doorway. She saw an older woman crying into the chest of a younger man. Rylie assumed it was the woman’s son or some other family member. She wondered what had the woman in such agony. Did someone she was close to die? Maybe she’d received good news and they were tears of joy. Rylie went through several different circumstances in her head before she realized the man was staring at her. Embarrassed that she had been caught intruding on such a tender moment, she gave a weak wave and continued down the hall.