Bottle It Up: (A Between the Pines Novel)

by Lisa Shelby

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “It would be if you hadn’t signed that stupid contract. I’m still pissed he let you do that, by the way.”

  “Amelia, you aren’t supposed to know about any of this. Please tell me you’ll keep it between us. Josh and I will figure this out.”

  “The three of us will figure this out,” Max says sounding a little put off that he wasn’t a part of my equation.

  “That’s what I like to hear,” our driver says, smiling at me in the rearview mirror.

  “Hopefully, Josh will actually speak to me about it, and I won’t have to work this all out through his lawyers. It’s just so confusing. He was one hundred percent supportive of Max and me. The pictures they took conveniently didn’t show he and Max talking. And they sure as hell didn’t print the part of him telling us how happy he was for us and how glad he was to hear what a romantic trip we were having. He was completely on board, but when he talked to me after the pictures came out, I didn’t even recognize the person on the other end of the phone.”

  “Em, you’ve always only seen the good in Josh, and as much as we love him, the rest of us know just how selfish he can be. He loves you, and he’ll come back around, but he’s got to get over feeling sorry for himself first. It is all about him after all. He’ll get to worrying about you eventually, but for a bit, he’s only going to see how this is affecting his life. Nobody else is going to register in his mind for a bit. You know that, right?”

  I sigh, not wanting to acknowledge she’s right. But her eyes meet mine in the mirror again and no words are needed.

  Lightening the mood, she changes the subject to Paris, and before I know it, we’re taking the exit off the highway and entering our hometown. The town full of everyone I know and love who right now are thinking the absolute worst of me. When we pass the road that leads to my parents’ house, my first tear falls opening the floodgates.

  I’m able to keep the tears to myself until Max turns in his seat clearly about to ask me something, but when he sees my tearstained face, his eyes soften. “Baby?”

  “I’ll be okay. Being home just makes it all so real. I’ve let so many people down. I have no idea how I’m going to face my parents.”

  “We’ll do it together.”

  “I think I need to do it on my...”

  My words stop, and my world begins to spin at the sight of the cars in my driveway. Miles’s truck is front and center, and the rented SUV says Josh or maybe someone from his team is here as well.

  “Shit,” Amelia says under her breath.

  Max doesn’t say a word and is out of the car before it’s in park. When it’s just the two of us in the car, Amelia and I connect via the rearview mirror again. “It’s gonna be okay, Emmy. Just promise me you’re going to put yourself first this time. Promise me?”

  Before I can make her any promises I’m not sure I can keep, my door opens, and the large hand I’ve been holding openly for the last week reaches out to me. I take it but drop it as soon as I start walking toward the house. Instantly feeling like we’re doing something wrong now that we’re home.

  Now, not only do I have guilt for all the lies I’ve told, but for not walking hand in hand with Max as we walk into the line of fire.

  Amelia walks ahead of us, and before she gets to the front door, it opens with Miles on the other side. She walks past him, and when Max and I reach the threshold, he pulls it open wider, stepping out of our way. No welcome hug. Just a wide berth.

  I break out into a cold sweat from his reaction, and at the sight of Josh, Jace, and Reeves in my living room. The walls of my own home quickly begin to close in on me.

  Josh is pacing the floor, knocking needles off my slowly dying Christmas tree every time he passes it. Jace is sitting in the loveseat next to the fireplace, and Reeves is hanging back by the sliding glass door in the kitchen nook where Max heads after giving me a kiss to my temple.

  I shrug my coat off and go to hang it up in the hall closet when Miles finally speaks. “Why don’t you give me that, and I’ll take your bags to your room for you?”

  He takes my bags, and Amelia takes my coat and scarf, hanging them up for me, while Reeves fades into the background in the kitchen.

  Feeling like a stranger in my own house, I take a seat on the couch and wait. Wait to see if the man pacing my living room is going to be the man I heard on the phone before I left France or if it’s going to be the person I grew up with who loves me.

  Not stopping his back and forth path across my hardwoods he finally speaks. “This is really fucked up, Emmy.”

  “I know it is, and I’m so sorry.”

  “How the fuck could you do this to me?” His voice growing louder.

  Max leaves Reeves in the kitchen to stand behind me. His way of saying take it down a notch before he has to step in, I’m sure.

  Scooting to the edge of the couch, I hope he’ll stop moving and look at me. I say I’m sorry once again.

  “You’re sorry? Is that all you have to say right now?”

  He finally stops and looks at me, so I stand to meet his steely glare, reminding myself we’re in my house and in this situation because I was trying to help him.

  “What else do you want me to say, Josh? Do you think I enjoy the entire world thinking I’m a cheating whore? I can’t wait to explain all of this to my family! Oh wait, I don’t get to explain because I signed a contract that says I can never tell them the truth! I’m sorry I’ve embarrassed you, but you’ll have everyone around the globe feeling sorry for you and women lining up to comfort you, but I’ll forever be the gold-digging slut who cheated on Josh West. So, yeah, sorry is about all I have to say right about now.”

  “What contract, and what truth?” Miles says from the hallway.

  But Josh ignores him and pulls me into his arms. “I’m such a selfish prick. I’m so sorry, Em.”

  I don’t say anything because what is there to say?

  I’m sorry.

  He’s sorry.

  And yes, sometimes he can be a selfish prick.

  “Would someone like to fill me in on what the hell is going on? What fucking contract?”

  Miles is the only one in the room who doesn’t know what’s going on, and the silence is deafening until Jace’s phone rings, and he nearly jumps out of his skin fumbling with his phone. When he finally catches it, he accidentally pushes the speaker button.

  “Hey,” he says, standing to leave the room, but the person on the other end of the phone cuts him off.

  “Why hasn’t the money hit my bank account yet, asshole? I flew all the way to fucking Paris to get those shots for you, and I haven’t seen a damn dime.”

  Jace turns crimson red as I watch my best friend's heart break when he realizes the person he trusts with his career and his heart has betrayed him.

  Jace reaches to hang up the phone, but Josh grabs it from his hand. “What pictures haven’t you been paid for?”

  Clearly not noticing a different person’s voice speaking, the idiot on the other end of the phone sings like a canary.

  “Don’t play stupid, Jace, the ones you set up for me to get of Josh West’s slutty little fiancée. I did my part, so now it’s time you did yours. Where the fuck is my money?”

  “Ron, stop talking. You’re on speaker—” Jace yells toward the phone from the other side of the room with a once again pacing Josh, but he cuts him off before he can finish his warning.

  “Ron? As in Ron Benson the paparazzo?”

  “Who’s askin’?”

  “This is Josh West, you asshole!”

  “Well, shouldn’t you be saying thank you then? Jace said this was all your idea. Busting your fiancée would be big news for you. Aren’t you signing some new movie deal this week? You’ll have all of America feeling sorry for you. I made that happen for you. Now where’s my money?”

  Josh presses the red button on the phone and throws it down on my coffee table.

  “Tell me this is some kind
of joke, Jace? Tell me it hasn’t been you all along?”

  His question is met with silence.

  I move to stand next to Josh, but he holds his hand up to stop me. A moment later, Max takes my hand in his, standing by my side.

  “Why? Why did you do it when you knew what it would do to me?”

  “Why, Josh? You really have to ask me why?”

  “Of course I do! I have no idea what could have been going through your head to make you do something like this!”

  “Of course you couldn’t because all you do is think about yourself! How do you think I felt when after years of hiding our relationship you take it a step farther and get engaged? Not only am I hidden but now the world sees the man I love pretending to be in love with someone else. I have to watch her on your arm for the entire fucking world to see when it should be me, Josh! Not her! Me!”

  “But you’ve always known this was how it had to be. You’re my manager, you’ve been involved in my image and have known all these years that this was the way it was, and you still chose to be with me.”

  Josh tries to calm himself. His fists are flexing, but he lowers his voice, closing the distance between himself and the man he loves.

  “Well, maybe I got tired of being your dirty little secret. Watching the world fall in love with the two of you was too much.” The venom in his voice stinging Josh and stopping him in his tracks.

  “So, you thought it was okay to scare the shit out of Emmett and threaten her? To smear her name in the press by letting the world think the worst of her? If you were uncomfortable with all of this, why didn’t you say something before she signed the contract? If you were pissed at me, why not take it out on me? Why do this to her?”

  “What fucking contract?” Miles bellows from behind us.

  “Later, Miles,” Amelia whispers.

  “Answer me! Why do this to her?”

  “Because I loved you! I didn’t want to hurt you. I thought the threats would scare her off, and she would come back home. I thought she’d be gone, and things would go back to normal, and nobody would ever get hurt. I figured after I paid her ex to break into her house here in fucking Podunk, Oregon, that would be enough. It wasn’t supposed to go this far.”

  “Well, turns out you were wrong mother-fucker,” Miles says, charging the room, but Reeves stops him before he can get his hands on Jace. He puts his hands up, taking a step or two back.

  “You disgust me.”

  Jace’s demeanor changes. Reaching out to Josh with tears in his eyes. “Don’t you see I did this for you? For us.”

  “No, I don’t see that. But I do see you getting the fuck out of my life.” He throws a glance in Reeves's direction, and his bodyguard takes instant action by grabbing Jace by the bicep.

  He tries to pull out of Reeves’s grasp, but he’s no match for him, and when he can’t escape you can see the desperation take hold and an entirely new and vicious side of him comes pouring out of him as he’s dragged from the house.

  “Don’t do this, Josh! I will fucking destroy you. Do you really think the studio is going to sign you as their new action star when they find out you’re a fucking fairy? Think about this because there’s no going back.”

  It’s Miles who steps in front of him once Reeves has dragged his fighting body to the front door. “Get the fuck out.”

  Miles goes to close the door in his face, but he pushes on it with his free arm.

  “You know I have all the proof I’ll ever need. I have videos and pictures you have no idea about. You’ll never work again.”

  Amelia pushes her full weight against the door and shuts him out. We can hear him screaming all the way to the car, and I can only imagine what my neighbors must be thinking.

  “I’ll be right back,” Max says, heading out the front door.

  Taking Josh by the hand, I pull him down onto the couch, and he plops down next to me.

  “How could he do this?”

  “I’m so sorry, Josh.”

  “I’m finished.”

  Miles pulls the loveseat over until he’s sitting in front of Josh. “Dude, a little fucker like Jace is not going to bring you down. However, I may take you down if you continue to keep things from me, and more importantly, don’t start being yourself around the people who love you the most.”

  “Like you would have wanted a queer as a best friend?”

  “Do you really think I didn’t know?”

  Both mine and Josh’s eyes nearly fall out of our heads. But it’s Josh who says what we’re both thinking.

  “What do you mean you knew?”

  “C’mon, man. I’ve known you your entire life.”

  “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

  “I figured you’d tell me when you were ready.”

  Amelia squeezes herself into the loveseat next to Miles with a sweet smile adorning her face.

  “You knew too?”

  “Of course I knew,” she replies, taking his hand in hers. “I also love you like a brother and couldn’t care less. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy.”

  “Why do you think I was so suspicious of the two of you getting engaged?” Miles says. “I love you and Emmy both, but I had a feeling something was up. I had a very strong hunch somebody was going to end up getting hurt in the end. Sure wish I hadn't been right about that.”

  “You guys know I would never do anything to hurt Emmy. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

  “Let’s talk about what exactly is happening.” Miles sits back in the chair, and Amelia settles in next to him with his arm behind her resting on the back of the loveseat. “Start at the beginning and let’s figure this shit out.”

  Chapter 28

  “Josh. Brother. I know you feel like your life is over, but you’re gonna figure this out. More importantly, I think you’re going to be happily surprised how people react should you decide to share who you really are with the world. Either way, you got us, and we love you no matter what.”

  The energy in my cramped living room is palpable. Josh has just bared his soul to Miles and Amelia and was met with nothing but love. Except for a few expletives whispered in both of our directions when he got to the part about me offering to be his fake fiancée, Miles and Amelia sat and listened. All the while, Max worked at my kitchen table on his computer with earbuds in to give Josh privacy.

  Eventually, Josh’s story became my story, and all heads turned to me. I timidly told my best friends how it had gone from an innocent crush to falling head over heels in love with Max while he sat across the room listening intently. He did his best to remain neutral, but I knew he was listening because try as he might, he couldn’t hide the small smiles that snuck out during certain parts of my story.

  Our story.

  He stopped what he was doing and gave me my full attention when I talked about his hometown. His family. His friends. His son.

  I laid it all out to them. My story may not be quite the same as Josh’s, but I wanted everyone to know how I felt about Max. How serious our relationship was to me, but that I also had every intention of holding up my end of the bargain for Josh, whatever that may be after the calamity I had made of our situation.

  “What do you think you’re going to do, Josh?”

  “Amelia, I have no idea.” Turning in my direction. “Emmy, do you think I could hide out here with you for a while? The thought of going to my place or back to LA alone sounds too depressing.” Now he looks at Max. “Would I be intruding?”

  “Never. You’re family. Of course you can stay here,” I say, not giving Max the chance to reply.

  “I actually have to head home.” Taking his glasses off, Max stands from the table joining us in the living room. “My son has a lot of questions right now, and I would rather be there to discuss them with him in person.”

  My heart shatters in a million pieces when I think what this could be doing to Nicholas. He worships his father, and now to the entire world, he’s the bad guy. The m
an who betrayed one of his favorite action heroes.

  There’s no stopping the tears once they begin to fall, but Max crosses the room and takes a seat next to me on the couch pulling me into his arms.

  “Shh...it’ll be okay.”

  “Max, I am so sorry.” I sob into his chest.

  “You don’t have anything to be sorry about, Emmett. I knew the risk, and I took it. And you know what? I’d take it again.”

  Pulling away from him, I scoot to the edge of the couch, my head in my hands, talking to the ground.

  “Max, Nick worships you. Because of me, he thinks you're cheating on one of his heroes. How could I have let you risk Nick? He’ll never trust me. If we are ever able to be together and make a real go of this, he’ll hate me.”

  “Em...”

  “No, I don’t want you to try to tell me this is going to be okay. This is so unfair to him. He’s just a kid and doesn’t deserve the undue attention he’s now going to get because of the poor decision-making of three adults. What were we thinking?”

  “Girl, you were thinking you were in love, and you wanted to be together,” Miles says, taking my hand in his. I finally lift my gaze from the floor. “There’s no way I could hide my feelings for Mason. Don’t beat yourself up.”

  Max rubs my back but remains quiet while Josh sits dumbstruck on the other side of me. Miles is still holding my hand and doing what he does best. Taking care of everyone in the room, but even he can’t say the right thing when it comes to Nick.

  “Man, I’m really sorry this is affecting your kid. I wish I could offer some amazing advice, but it’s gonna be tough. I wish you luck, I really do. Just know that while you’re home taking care of business, we’ll all be here with Emmett and Josh, and we’ll make sure they’re both okay. I know you’ve got my number. Don’t be afraid to use it.”

  “Thanks, Miles. I appreciate it.”

  Amelia wiggles her way out from the tiny section of the chair she was squeezed into and stands up, grabbing my free hand, pulling me up with her. She opens her arms, and I lean down and accept her hug.