The Legacy

by Carol Ashby

  Chapter 23: Pleasing the Crocodile

  It had been two days since Claudia disappeared from the women’s dressing area in the Baths of Titus, and Lucius was deeply worried. He wasn’t worried because he cared about his sister’s safety; he was worried about what her disappearance meant for his own.

  When Graecia had run back to the house after discovering her mistress had vanished while she was fetching some perfume that Claudia insisted she must have, Malleolus had immediately mobilized a search. The good thing―one of the attendants had overheard some strange woman telling Claudia that Portia would have a carriage just outside the city gate and they would be taking the Via Tiburtina and Via Valeria. The bad thing―Claudia was going with the woman willingly. It wasn’t a kidnapping; it was an escape attempt.

  With the daytime carriage ban inside the city, the women had to walk or use litters, and the slaves Malleolus sent running along the streets to intercept them should have had no trouble catching up. No such luck. For the last two days, his steward had posted slaves to watch continuously at each of the five city gates that someone heading to the east or northeast would have had to use. Again, no luck.

  Graecia knew of two girls named Portia who were Claudia’s friends. Malleolus had visited their houses to make sure they hadn’t given her refuge there, but both claimed they hadn’t even spoken with her since her father died.

  Malleolus had also gone to the home of her best friend, Aemilia, and tried to learn something that might give them a clue to where Claudia might have gone. Aemilia had heard about Lucius’s plan to marry Claudia to Sabinus, and she refused to tell him anything. Malleolus had then checked at the homes of every one of her friends that Graecia could name. Finally, he’d sent a slave to each of the three Drusus estates near Rome to see if she’d gone to one of those to hide. No luck.

  Claudia had vanished into thin air, and neither Lucius nor Malleolus had the slightest idea of where to look for her next.

  When the door slave entered the library to announce that Flavius Sabinus awaited Lucius in the atrium, it was with some trepidation that he instructed the slave to escort Sabinus to him.

  Lucius stood as Sabinus entered the room. “Another unexpected pleasure to see you today, Flavius Sabinus.” He smiled what he hoped was a welcoming smile.

  “It’s good to see you as well, Lucius Fidelis.” There was a smile pasted on Sabinus’s face, but his eyes reminded Lucius of a cat playing with a mouse before it killed it.

  “I’ve come to visit my future wife. Our conversation was cut short earlier this week when she felt ill. I trust I’ll find her in undiminished beauty and more receptive to my attentions today.”

  Lucius’s stomach knotted. “Unfortunately, she won’t be able to see you this morning. She’s gone out.”

  That was certainly true.

  “When will she return?”

  “I’m not quite sure.”

  That was also most certainly true.

  Sabinus walked over to the desk and picked up the stylus that Lucius had set down on his wax tablet. He began slowly rolling it between his thumb and middle finger.

  “I heard a most surprising rumor this morning.”

  Sabinus fixed his reptilian eyes on Lucius. A chill ran up Lucius’s spine. It was all he could do not to visibly shiver.

  “What would that be?”

  “I heard you were searching for Claudia all over the city. I heard she had run away because she didn’t want to be married to me.”

  Lucius swallowed hard. He had no idea what to say.

  Sabinus gripped the stylus like a dagger and drove it into the wax tablet. Lucius jumped.

  “I’m sure you know that no one…no one…ever runs away from me unless I allow it. If they try, they don’t get far.”

  The crocodile fixed his eyes on Lucius. “And no one who does anything to damage my reputation walks away unscathed.”

  Lucius swallowed hard again.

  “You should have told me yourself, Lucius. As soon as you knew she’d disappeared. I don’t like finding out two days later than everyone else. I have many contacts throughout the city, and I could have found her right away, before she got herself hidden so well.”

  The crocodile’s eyes remained locked on Lucius. It was unnerving to keep looking into them, but he instinctively knew not to take his eyes off a predator.

  “You have caused me embarrassment, Lucius. I expect you to fix it. You are to squash that rumor and replace it with another that Claudia has been kidnapped.”

  “I’ll do that right away. This very day, I’ll offer a large reward for information leading to her return and the capture of the kidnappers. How best can I do that to quickly let the most people know who need to know?”

  “I can take care of that. You merely need to provide the 10,000 denarii that will be the reward.”

  The crocodile pulled the stylus out of the wax, then drove it in again with even more force before dragging it across the tablet diagonally.

  “And then you will find her and bring her back here to marry me.”

  He dragged the stylus back across the wax tablet.

  “That is, if I decide I still want her. I don’t accept damaged goods, Lucius, or used ones, or anything that’s gone out of fashion.”

  He lifted the stylus from the wax and snapped it.

  “There’s a time limit on my patience, Lucius.”

  He held the two broken pieces out in front of him before slowly opening his hand to allow them to fall to the floor.

  Lucius stared at him, frozen in place.

  “Well, Lucius?”

  “Yes, absolutely. It’s a terrible thing that a girl could be kidnapped in broad daylight in the heart of Rome. I’ll gladly offer the 10,000-denarii reward for the safe return of my sister. Did you want me to draft the reward announcement? Perhaps you’d prefer to do it so it’s done exactly as it should be.”

  The crocodile smiled with his lips, but not his eyes. “I would be most happy to help my future brother-in-law by getting the announcement out. You’ve chosen wisely in offering a reward that shows how serious you are about rescuing your sister from the kidnappers. Very wisely, indeed. My people will be looking for her as well. You will pay me the reward if they find her.”

  “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your help in rescuing my sister.”

  “I’m sure you can’t.” Sabinus stood staring at Lucius for much too long without speaking. Finally, he turned to leave.

  “I’m expected at the imperial palace. I’ll take care of the message. You be ready to pay the reward.”

  He paused at the door. “You don’t want to disappoint me, Lucius. You really don’t.”

  Lucius sat down as soon as Sabinus left the room. His knees felt weak, and his hand was trembling when he looked at it. At that moment, he’d give anything to be able to go back to the day before he betrothed Claudia to Sabinus.

  Father had always said that only a fool chose to spend his time with dangerous company. His father had been right.

  Chapter 24: A Good Day

  They had been at sea for a week, and everyone had settled into the ship’s routine. Philip still heard Claudia crying every night. It kept him from getting a full night’s sleep, and it made him wonder if she slept at all. Every morning she rose puffy-eyed to stand by the railing, staring into the water. That still worried him, but at least she wasn’t crying during the day.

  He’d discovered a rhythm for the daytime that seemed to help. A few games of Conquest in the morning and poetry reading in the afternoon kept her from grieving all the time. He found it enjoyable as well. It had been a long time since he’d faced as good an opponent, even though she’d just learned the game. Her reading poetry was a feast for both eyes and ears. All he needed to do was make sure they read from something that hadn’t been a favorite of her father.

  Claudia had just finished reading a poem by another gifted poet that she’d never heard of
before Philip introduced her to him. When she looked up, Philip was lounging in his chair with his legs stretched out and his clasped hands resting on the top of his head. He was smiling contentedly as he gazed at her. She was used to men staring at her, but he was different. He looked at her like she was a real person whose company he enjoyed, not just something to desire.

  He was an enigma. How could someone who was so horribly disfigured be so happy all the time? Something terrible must have happened to him, but it didn’t seem to affect his positive outlook at all. How could that be?

  “May I ask you something personal, Philip?”

  “Anything you want.”

  “What happened to your face?”

  She spoke the question gently, not fully expecting he would tell her. It surprised her when he smiled and shrugged.

  “My scars are from a burn. When I was six, my little sister Ariadne wanted some of her favorite soup. It had just been lifted from the fire and was sitting on the counter. I thought I was big enough to get her some if I used a stool. When I was climbing, I tipped the pot over. It poured down one side of me. It burned my face, neck, part of my chest. It scalded my eye, too.”

  “That must have been horrible!”

  Sympathy filled Claudia’s eyes, but not pity. That was good; Philip didn’t need or want her pity. He’d grown content enough with the way he was. He’d decided a long time ago there was no point in being otherwise.

  “The pain was bad, and it took a long time to heal, but I’m glad it was me who got burned and not Ariadne. It doesn’t matter much that I have scars, but it would have been hard for a girl to have her beauty ruined.”

  “You could grow a beard to hide them.”

  “No beard will grow on the scar.” He smiled wryly as he rubbed his scarred cheek. “I guess I could grow half a beard and always stand so you only see my good side in profile. Or I can just shave the hairy side and look Roman instead of Greek. At least shaving only takes me half as long.”

  Her eyes widened as he joked about it.

  He faked a sad face as he slowly shook his head. “It is very hard for a Macedonian to have to settle for looking like a Roman.”

  He didn’t get the response he intended. He’d expected a laugh or at least a smile, but she didn’t realize he was joking. Now she was looking at him like she felt sorry for him, and he didn’t want that. No man would, but he really didn’t need her pity because he actually was content enough with the way he looked. There was a time when he would have given almost anything not to have the scars, but a man has to decide to be content with what can’t be changed. One more attempt at humor, and maybe she’d get it.

  “I really don’t mind being ugly, Claudia. It has some advantages. It makes it much easier to know if a pretty woman wants me for my handsome face or my family’s fortune.”

  He winked as he smiled broadly at her, and she returned his smile. The look of pity was gone.

  “If she were smart, she’d want you for your kind heart. That’s what I like most about you. Anyway, you’re not really that ugly.”

  A chuckle escaped as he shook his head at her unsuccessful attempt to give him a compliment so he’d feel better. Unless she wanted to lie, there wasn’t much she could say. She clearly didn’t understand him, but he didn’t expect that a beauty would. He was an ugly man on the outside, but it was only what was inside a man that mattered. For the most part, he was content being the man God had made him.

  “Maybe not ugly enough to scare away small children, but pretty women―that’s another matter.”

  There was only one pretty woman Philip didn’t want his appearance to scare, and she was sitting contently next to him and looking right at him. His ugly scars didn’t seem to bother her anymore since she’d just asked him about them. She was the first woman who ever had.

  Claudia watched the twinkle in Philip’s eye. How could he be so unconcerned about his appearance that he could joke about it? Appearance mattered so much to her friends. They all wanted to marry a handsome, rich man from a prominent Roman family.

  “Well, you might not be as handsome as my brother Titus, but you’re at least as nice. He’s not married yet, either. He hasn’t found the right woman to marry even though he’s very good looking.” She smiled at him. “Anyway, I enjoy your company no matter what you look like.”

  “And I enjoy yours. Now, shall I read again, or would you like to?”

  “You read. I think you have a beautiful voice for poetry. I love to close my eyes and let your voice wrap around me.”

  She leaned her head against the back of her chair and did just that. With her eyes closed, she could imagine that wonderful voice coming from the handsomest face. Or from no face at all―just a gorgeous voice floating over the images being painted by the words.

  As Philip resumed reading, he was glad she liked his kind heart even if she closed her eyes because she didn’t like looking at him. No woman could actually enjoy looking at him. He’d accepted that fact years ago. But the heart of a man was so much more important than his appearance. As he glanced at the beauty lounging in the chair beside him, he found himself wishing she might be a woman who would agree with him.

  Claudia sat watching the beginning of the sunset. It had been a good day. Philip was so kind to spend much of his time with her. She wasn’t sure what he would normally have been doing onboard, but whatever it was, he was willing to not do it so he could help her. He had a gift for pulling her out of the black thoughts that dragged her downward, for focusing her mind on something other than Father and his death.

  When they were playing Conquest, she could focus so completely on military strategy that only the game and her clever opponent seemed real. Reading with him wasn’t quite as effective as playing the game, but it was still much better than staring at the shoreline or trying to talk with Penelope and Junia.

  She looked over at him. His blind side was toward her, so she could look at him without him knowing. He was an ugly man, but she didn’t mind looking at him anymore. His scars had become something familiar, and that made them no longer grotesque.

  Junia had already helped Penelope prepare for the night, and she came from the cabin for Claudia. “Are you ready for me, mistress?”

  “Yes. I’m coming.”

  As she rose from the chair, Philip rose as well.

  “Thank you, Philip, for helping me have such a good day.”

  “It’s been a good day for me, too. I trust you’ll have a good night as well.

  For the first time since Father was killed, she’d made it through a whole day without tears. It had been a very good day, and she expected a good night, too.

  The lions came at midnight, with the screams and the blood flooding Claudia’s mind. She woke in a cold sweat, and the tears began. She thought she’d turned the corner, that the horrors in her mind were over. But they weren’t. The night was as if the good day had never happened. The flood of desperate tears soaked into her pillow, and it seemed they would never end.

  Philip awoke to the sound of her sobbing...again. It would be another short night’s sleep. He ran his fingers through his hair. He’d figured out how to keep her reasonably cheerful during the day, but what on earth could he possibly do to help her at night? He really had expected tonight to be different.

  He rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling, asking God to give her relief from the anguish that was ripping her apart, until the sobs finally died away.

  Chapter 25: Someone to Cling To

  It was shortly after dawn, and Philip stood on the cabin top with Hector. Claudia was sobbing again in the room beneath his feet, and he was trying to decide whether he should go to her or get Junia. Suddenly, the sobbing stopped. Claudia stumbled out the door and over to the railing. He was already halfway down the ladder when she started to climb over. He jumped the remaining distance to the deck and ran toward her.

  He reached her just in time to wrap his arms around her as sh
e began to step off into the sea.

  She struggled against him, twisting her body, slamming her head back into his chest, trying to break free and complete her step into oblivion, but she was no match against the muscular arms that encircled her, holding her firmly against his chest.

  “Let me go! I just can’t bear it anymore. Please!”

  “I won’t let you do this to Titus. You can’t make him lose both you and your father. If you won’t try to go on for yourself, do it for him.”

  Her struggles ceased. She went limp, and a torrent of tears began to flow. While one arm still held her tight against his chest, he slipped the other behind her knees so he could scoop her up and return her to the deck. He’d released her and taken a step back when she spun and wrapped her arms around his chest, clutching him as if she’d die if she let go. Racking sobs shook her whole body.

  At first, Philip hesitated, his arms held away from her. He’d never been in the arms of a woman who wasn’t a blood relative before. Then he wrapped his arms around her trembling body and held her tight, just like he would a frightened child. As her tears soaked into his tunic, he placed his hand on the back of her head and stroked her hair. Penelope had always liked that when she came to him for comfort when she was a little girl. He had no way to know what grown women liked, crying or otherwise.

  “It’s going to get better, Claudia. Just give it time, and it will get better.”

  He longed to tell her how Jesus knew all her pain and how he could help her bear it, but she wouldn’t listen, and she couldn’t possibly understand, even if she did.

  Her voice was muffled against his chest. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t stand the dreams every night. I haven’t slept through the night since Father was killed. I’m so tired...I just can’t go on like this.”