This Deep Panic

by Lisa Stowe

  “I get that,” Tessa said, her eyes on Ramon as he lifted the girl into the back seat of the truck. “But please don’t leave us.”

  Something in her voice must have penetrated Ramon’s panic because he paused, stared at Tessa, and took a step back toward them. “Do I know you?”

  Tessa’s blush deepened until Sharon wondered if she was going to self-combust.

  “Yes.” Tessa stared at the ground, and then raised her chin. “No. You used to come by where I work. Where we worked. That’s all. McDonalds. In Sultan.”

  Connor’s eyes widened as he looked from Ramon to Tessa. Sharon understood. This Ramon was muscular, fit, and probably handsome when he wasn’t so upset. Maybe in his mid-twenties. He looked like someone who saved people from an apocalypse. All the things Connor wasn’t.

  “We’ve been following you, man,” Connor said finally. “Because Tessa-”

  And now, Sharon realized, Tessa was about to be humiliated. “Tessa saw your truck cross the Wallace in Sultan,” she said, cutting in abruptly. “She figured if you did it, we could. Connor hot-wired this jeep and we followed you.”

  Tessa looked at her with gratitude. Connor just looked confused.

  “Okay, but…” Ramon studied Tessa for a moment longer, and then seemed to finally see their clothes. “I do know you.”

  “Get in the truck, Mother,” the old man said, ignoring the conversation. “Mayhap you kids should follow us. Be safer than being out here alone. We’re going back to look for our girl. And then we’re hunting up old logging roads to get us to Index. To find Artair’s brother.” He gestured at the teenage boy who was already getting back in the truck.

  “Good plan,” Connor said. “I mean, since Sultan is gone. There’s no going back that way.”

  “Follow if you want,” Ramon said, heaving the old woman up into the truck. “But we can’t wait. We need to find my niece.”

  Tessa hesitated, then grabbed up their remaining bags of burgers and threw them in the back of the jeep. Connor jogged around to the driver’s side.

  While the old man got the truck turned around, Connor started up the jeep. Sharon hesitated, watching them. If she slipped away, right now they’d probably never notice. But then Tessa caught her arm and pulled her to the jeep. Reluctantly, she got in the back and sat alone on the bench seat.

  She’d just go along a little further, she decided. Just to make sure Tessa and Connor would be okay. And then she’d find her death.

  Connor pulled out and the jeep rattled over the rough ground, following the truck.

  Sharon looked out the front window at the devastated woods they were entering. What was waiting for them? That teenage girl in the truck with Ramon. She’d seen something, Sharon was sure. Maybe the shadows, that fog, had followed them.

  Either way, an unfamiliar emotion tickled deep inside. It was like a spark of light where there had been only the blackness of her death. She saw it as a final responsibility before the end. To make sure the two kids who had been kind to her made it somewhere safe.

  But there was something else there, too. A tugging, a pulling forward. A tiny spark of anticipation.

  It was strange to feel anything other than rage and pain, and Sharon wasn’t sure she wanted it. She let her thoughts probe at it, like a tongue poking a hole where a tooth had been. There was irritation at being pulled from her goal, but at the same time there was something that just might have been relief. If she was going to die anyway, maybe going out as a hero was better than dying alone. She’d stay with the kids a bit. Just to make sure they were okay with these strangers.

  The darkness, her end, could wait a little longer.

  6

  Ben drove back up the logging road slower than he’d raced down. Ramon gripped the door handle so tight his hand throbbed. He stared out one window, then swung around to stare out another, terrified that he might be looking the wrong way for the few seconds when they might pass Alegria. His neck muscles ached with tension and his heart felt like a trapped bird, fluttering frantically in his chest. Marie sat next to him, one hand a barely felt warmth on his arm. She wasn’t looking out the windows though. Instead she sat with her eyes downcast. Every few minutes Ramon felt a shiver move through her but he couldn’t tear his eyes from the passing forest to help her.

  He might miss Alegria.

  He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her tight to his side. He didn’t know if she was cold or afraid, but holding her close was all the comfort he could spare. A tremor moved through her again.

  “It’s okay, baby,” he said. “We’ll find her. Don’t worry.” Even to his ears the words sounded distracted and false.

  They were roughly half way back to their campsite, with the kids in the old Willys jeep following, when Marie suddenly gripped his hand so tight he caught his breath. When he looked to her, he saw she also had hold of Artair’s arm.

  “Ben, stop the truck,” Artair said quickly.

  “Here.” Her voice was slow and soft as if she talked in her sleep.

  “What?” Ramon asked. “What’s here? Are you going to be sick?”

  “No…Alegria.”

  Ramon pulled loose from Marie and jumped out of the truck. He stood a moment, hands fisted, nerves screaming for him to go. Somewhere. Anywhere. The woods were quiet. A few small birds flitted through the branches of downed trees. He pulled in a ragged breath and ran to the edge of the road, staring into the ruined forest. Nothing moved. No shape of a small girl in the shadows. He jogged back to the truck, his insides twisted into knots of despair.

  “She’s not here.” He stood in the muddy road, gripping the edge of the truck door.

  Marie raised her head, pupils dilated, skin pale. “She’s here. She’s not here.”

  Ben and June had turned to look over the front seat and June reached out to place the back of her hand against Marie’s forehead. After a brief pause she shook her head.

  Ramon didn’t know what to do. He’d agreed earlier to trust Marie, but she wasn’t saying anything to trust. It sounded like she was arguing with herself. He met Artair’s eyes and the boy shrugged. But then Artair opened the door, got out, and walked to the edge of the dirt track where he stood, looking around.

  The truck idled roughly, the noisy engine knocking like an old man coughing. Ramon caught Ben’s eye and signaled to him to turn the truck off. Then he walked down the road in the direction they were headed. Behind him he heard the jeep engine shut off and doors open. He scanned the ground, not sure what he was looking for. He didn’t know anything about tracking. But maybe the mud and rocks were enough to show an imprint of a shoe.

  “Ramon!” Ben called out.

  He turned to see Ben standing next to the truck, one hand on the hood. Marie was outside as well. She stood in front of the truck, head down and hands up slightly, palms upward as if testing to see if it was raining again. And then she lurched backward as if yanked over, and came down on her bottom.

  “No!” she screamed.

  Artair ran to her side and lifted her in his arms. Ramon saw her speak to him, and then he was turning, running for the truck.

  “Come back!” he yelled to Ramon. “Everyone, back inside!”

  There was no hesitation now, no questioning whether Marie was suffering hallucinations or truly seeing what they couldn’t. Behind him, the kids jumped into the jeep. Ramon ran the few yards back and climbed in the truck next to his niece. Artair slammed the truck door and reached across Marie to hit the lock button.

  “There!” June’s voice was low, cracking on fear.

  Something moved through the trees. Too big to be Alegria. A broad, hulking shape moving over downed logs like they were mere branches.

  “What the fuck is that?” Artair asked.

  Ramon’s thoughts stuttered over what his eyes tried to tell him. The massive body, moving on all four limbs, was covered in bristles. Its teeth and claws were long and darkly yellow.

  The thing stopped in the logging road righ
t in front of the truck and rose upright. It was large enough that its arms spanned the width of the hood as it grabbed both front wheel wells. The truck rocked violently as the thing shook it.

  “Time to go, Father,” June said, her voice oddly calm and even. “Why don’t you start the old Crusher up?”

  Ben stared at her, mouth agape. The truck rocked again and then the thing lifted the front end a few feet, letting it drop so violently that they were thrown up off the seats. Ramon tasted the hot copper of blood as he bit his tongue. June reached across the seat to turn the key in the ignition. As the engine cranked over, she pushed against the steering wheel. A loud horn blew out the notes to the old song Tequila. The thing took a step back, cocking its head to one side.

  Ben seemed to come to his senses. He shoved the truck into gear, hit the gas, and the truck surged forward.

  The old Crusher slammed all of its weight, engine, old wood bumper, camper, everything, into the creature. Ramon heard the jeep behind them also laying on the horn. The thing went down under the front end of the truck, and the truck rocked heavily to one side as they drove right over it. He twisted to look out the side window and caught a glimpse of the jeep was coming fast.

  “That’ll take care of it,” Ben said. “Both of us hitting it.”

  “Don’t think so,” Artair said, his voice high with strain. “It’s getting up.”

  Artair was right. Ramon could the thing in the truck’s side mirror come up on one knee, and then stand to full height as if nothing had happened. He saw no blood, no bones sticking out, no sign a big truck had just driven right over it. Instead the thing took the full impact of the jeep hitting it without even staggering back.

  Ramon heard the screaming in the jeep. Connor must have thrown it into reverse because it started to back up. The thing caught the fender.

  “This is the old Crusher,” June said, still calm. “Might as well crush that thing, don’t you think?”

  Ben put the truck in reverse but Marie put a hand on his shoulder.

  “Wait,” she said.

  Ramon’s brain kicked into gear. He fumbled under the front seat and pulled the Glock loose with the sound of ripping duct tape. If a truck couldn’t kill the thing maybe bullets would. But Marie caught his wrist.

  “Wait,” she repeated softly. She turned slightly as if listening and then lifted her chin, tears pooling in her dark eyes. “Alegria comes.”

  Ramon looked out the passenger window in the direction Marie pointed.

  “What the hell?” Ben whispered.

  Something as silver as moonlight moved through the shadowed forest. As it came out of the trees, Ramon saw a wolf. He’d never seen one outside of photos or the zoo, but there was no doubt in his mind that this large, muscled animal was a wolf. It leaped easily over a downed tree and paused, looking behind it as if waiting for something.

  A girl came through the trees and put a hand on the wolf’s head. Alegria. But somehow taller, older, a slender young woman instead of a gawky thirteen-year old.

  Her eyes, meeting Ramon’s, were a strange gold, almost a deep amber, instead of dark brown. Leaves and twigs were twisted in her hair, not like she’d just run through a hedge, but as if she’d hung them like ribbons.

  It was Alegria. It was his beloved niece.

  But it wasn’t.

  The jeans and pink tee shirt she’d had on that morning were gone. Instead she wore a long brown skirt and short-sleeved tunic. Bark. She looked like she wore soft strips of bark.

  Marie reached across Artair, opened the truck door, and clambered over him even as he caught at her. She pulled free and ran toward her sister. Ramon shoved his door open and leaped out. Behind them, the thing shook the jeep again and kids screamed. Metal screeched as the thing dug claws into the hood. But all he saw were his nieces.

  Alegria cupped Marie’s face with both hands. Neither spoke. They looked at each other for only a brief second but Ramon felt like time slowed and stretched. He stopped near them, heart pounding. He wanted to grab his girls, hold them tight and safe, get them away from the insanity. But he stood still until Alegria lowered her hands and looked over Marie’s head to meet his eyes. He stepped forward but she shook her head, stopping him. He saw a tear track down her cheek.

  Marie came back and took his hand. “We need to be in the truck now.”

  “Not without your sister.”

  “We need to go, now.” Marie tugged at him.

  “Come with us, Alegria.” The weighted pain in his chest was his heart, breaking.

  Alegria glanced at him but then looked back into the woods. He saw movement again in the trees. Something else was coming.

  “Now,” Marie said, her voice tight with urgency. “She wants us safe. Please, Tío. Now.”

  Ramon gave in to her tugging and ran with her to the truck where he boosted her inside and then followed. With the doors shut again, he could only watch.

  “Is that…” Artair’s voice broke and he sucked in a deep breath. “Is that a…a grizzly?”

  A young boy came out of the woods to stand next to Alegria. And behind him was an immense grizzly that dwarfed even the silver wolf. The four paused like some sort of avenging forest spirits. And then, with a thunderous roar, the bear lunged forward, muscles rippling with power. The wolf leaped after him. Alegria and the boy followed at a run.

  The old canopy blocked the back window but as the creatures raced past, Ramon and the others leaned to watch the rear view mirrors. The bear’s jaws clamped around the waist of the thing and flung it to the side of the road. The wolf jumped on it, biting into the throat and ripping flesh. Deeply black blood jetted upward, spraying the fur of the wolf. The bear sank teeth into the thing’s legs.

  It roared. Its claws raked the wolf and bright red blood bloomed in long gashes. But the wolf hung on, shaking his head, slinging black blood. The bear pulled backward.

  “My god,” Ben breathed.

  The bear tore the thing’s legs off and flung them with a shake of its massive head. Arteries hung from stumps on the creature like bloody rubber bands. The wolf braced its front legs and bit deeper, jaws working. It was only when Ramon heard the loud growling of the wolf that he realized the kids in the jeep were no longer screaming.

  The wolf severed the neck and the thing’s head toppled.

  Silence fell. The wolf and bear stood over the carcass. Blood gushed, then slowed to a thick river. But the thing no longer moved. After a long moment, Alegria and the boy held their hands out. The wolf and bear turned as if they’d been called. Blood caked the fur on both animals. When they reached the boy and Alegria, all four walked into the shadows of the trees as if there was no truck, no jeep, no monster.

  No family.

  “No!” Ramon shoved open the door again, jumped out, and ran.

  But in those few short moments that it took him to reach the forest fringe, they were gone.

  7

  Sharon sat, watching a fire burn, brisk and hot, sap snapping and sending sparks into the air. Ben, Tessa, and June moved through the motions of setting up the camp, gathering more firewood, simmering canned Dinty Moore beef stew in a cast iron pot near the flames. June stirred water into some sort of boxed biscuit mix. Artair and Connor had taken it upon themselves to be guardians and they walked the perimeter of the same small clearing they’d camped in the night before.

  Sharon wasn’t sure what they’d do if something like that monster showed up. But here they were, back where the others had started from.

  Marie helped June, but Sharon saw the girl watching the spur track that led to the logging road they’d been on. Half an hour earlier Ramon had thrown down the hatchet he’d been splitting wood with and gone back that way.

  Sharon sat on a rock a short distance from the others. She was pale and her skin felt clammy. She shivered but it wasn’t from the soft mist falling, or the coolness in the air. It wasn’t even fear as the sun left them and shadows lengthened, deepening between the trees.

&nb
sp; The agony was sharp and white hot, her breast burning a hole all the way into her soul. Her nerves screamed against the invasion, her stomach twisted in nausea. But all she could do was grit her teeth and hope it passed.

  She’d waited too long. She should have found a way to die sooner, before the pain reached this point. She pressed chilled, bluish fingers against her breast as if touch might cool the fire, put out the inner destruction as cells slowly killed her.

  The pain was unbearable. She couldn’t draw in a deep enough breath. She saw a sparkling halo around everything and knew she was about to pass out. She managed a shallow gasp. Her body shook as if trying to wake her, but she could feel herself slipping. She put her hand out as if to stop the pain, stop the darkness coming, stop the fall, even while something inside rejoiced in finally reaching the end.

  But then someone caught her hand in a strong grip. She was lifted back up, her fingers held tight. Air, cool and damp and clean flowed into her lungs. The agony eased, became an ache. The world came back, the crackling fire, the trees, the dripping soft mist.

  “No,” she whispered. “Let me die.”

  “When it’s time, daughter.”

  The old woman from Sultan stood there. The layers of her black dress moved in a wind that didn’t exist. Her long gray hair blew across her face, hiding her eyes and then revealing their darkness. A raven, so black its feathers were like midnight, perched on the old woman’s shoulder. In one hand she held a tall staff while with the other she gripped Sharon’s arm.

  “It is time,” Sharon managed to whisper. “It’s past time.”

  The old woman tightened her grip until Sharon felt her bones shift. “It’s time when I say it is.”

  And the old crone was gone.

  Sharon straightened, her skin now flushed with heat. Her breast throbbed, but it was manageable. She shook her head, wondering if everyone saw hallucinations as they fainted.

  But then she saw Marie staring at her, eyes wide, and knew if it had been a hallucination, Marie had shared it.