Her Perfect Life

by Hinze, Vicki

  “Yeah,” Jake said with enthusiasm. “It was awful, Mom.”

  “Well, I’m sorry that happened to Mark, but I assure you that it won’t be happening here.”

  He cut a glance at her laced with doubt.

  “Jake, your dad and Blair are going to remarry just as soon as the judge says they can. Nothing is going to change there.”

  Jake looked to C.D. but didn’t say anything, and Katie didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t exactly in a position to offer long-term assurances for C.D.

  C.D. didn’t seem to know what to say, either. “It’ll be fine, Jake,” he said, keeping his response generic.

  Jake didn’t look reassured.

  “Mom’s not going to get goofy.” Molly stood up and dusted the loose dry grass from her bottom. “Mark’s parents were always goofy.”

  Katie gathered the food and put it back in the picnic basket and Jake stuffed trash in an empty bag.

  C.D. got to his feet and struggled a bit to get his cane under him.

  “Knee get stiff?” Katie asked.

  “A little.” He grabbed an armful of their gear and headed for the car.

  Jake dumped the trash in a can left on the street then met up with C.D. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

  “Of course.” C.D. stowed the gear in the backend of Katie’s Highlander. “What’s on your mind, champ?”

  Jake looked up at C.D., as earnest as any man ever looked at another. “My mom loves you, and I think you love her, too.”

  C.D. nodded, and Jake went on. “She’s been through a lot—way more than she’s told me, and probably more than she’s told you.”

  “Yes, I know.”

  “Don’t hurt her, okay, C.D.?” Jake’s voice trembled. “My dad… He doesn’t realize sometimes. Blair reminds him, and that makes him better. But my mom, she needs to be happy, C.D. They hurt her. She told me.”

  “She did?”

  He nodded. “She didn’t say how or anything, but I know it had to be bad. I think about it all the time,” he confessed. “It gets me that I can’t make it not hurt her anymore.” He blew out a shuddery breath. “That’s why she can’t go to the beach. The sand makes her remember.” He glanced at Katie then back at C.D. “That’s why no one can hurt her anymore. She can’t take it, and she shouldn’t have to, you know?”

  C.D. nodded. “Because one person can only be hurt so much and stand it?” he asked, just wanting to make sure he was clear about what was going on in Jake’s mind.

  He nodded.

  “Don’t worry, son.” C.D. hugged Jake. “I’d die before hurting your mother. You have my word on that.”

  Jake looked up at C.D. “That’s a promise, right?”

  “Yes, that’s a promise.”

  “C.D.,” Katie shouted to him. “There’s no water in the cooler.” She sounded as anxious as she had at the table on Thanksgiving. “Where’s the water?”

  They’d emptied the last bottle of water, but Jake held one in his hand. “Take your mother that water, Jake.”

  “C.D. I can’t find any water.” Wild-eyed, pale and panicked, she fell to her knees and scratched through their things, screaming at him. “Oh, God, no. No. There is no water!”

  Chapter Twelve

  “Molly was right. Mom’s freaking out,” Jake said. “She was thirsty.”

  “It’s worse than that, Jake,” C.D. said. “Extreme thirst. Probably days.” Yet Katie didn’t seem to understand why she always had to have water with her. Why would that be? “Hurry.” He nudged Jake’s shoulder. “Take your bottle over to the old house. There’s a spigot just outside the back door on the right. Fill the bottle and get it to her.”

  “It’ll be hot.”

  “Do it now, son,” C.D. said, letting Jake hear the urgency in his tone. “Hurry.”

  Jake saw Katie, digging through the cooler, rustling through everything she could reach, searching for water. “She’s totally freaking.” He ran.

  C.D. rushed to Katie. “Jake is getting your water, honey.”

  “I need it, C.D. Right now.” She looked for Jake over her shoulder. “Too far.” She fisted her hands, swerved her gaze to her daughter. “Molly. Molly, I need water. I need water, honey.”

  Molly picked up her bottle, nicked the edge, and the water spilled out of her bottle and onto the ground.

  Katie stared at it, soaking into the ground, and tears filled her eyes. “Oh . . . God.”

  “Mom.” Jake ran straight to her, his chest heaving, his face flushed. “Here, Mom.” He wrapped her hand around the bottle as Blair had at the table. “Here’s your water. It’s right here. Drink.”

  “Oh.” She took it with both hands. “Oh, thank you. Thank you.” She drank greedily.

  Molly handed Jake her bottle and motioned for him to go refill it, too. He ran all the way, going and coming back.

  Katie emptied the bottle, searched for another, and Jake passed her the full one. “Thank you so much, honey.”

  Her relief and gratitude was so raw it had C.D.’s eyes burning. Katie’s torture had definitely included withholding water from her for long periods of time. Yet she didn’t realize it. Should he mention it to her?

  Molly turned and looked right at him. “No. She has to see it for herself.”

  Surprised, C.D. looked at her, knowing Molly was right. Katie didn’t talk about captivity, and only now was he beginning to understand why. She had memory gaps. Blackouts. Something. He made a mental note, not that he’d need a reminder. If he lived two lifetimes, he’d never forget that panic on her face and in her voice. He’d just put an ice-chest filled with bottles of water in her Highlander—in all their cars.

  Katie would never be without water again.

  * * *

  Katie dressed in a gray wool suit with a pale pink blouse, gray heels and her favorite eel-skin handbag. She took extra care with her hair and makeup, and was a little surprised by her reflection. She was still too thin, but she had gained a solid ten pounds. At least she didn’t look anorexic anymore.

  “Katie, we’re going to be late,” C.D. shouted from the living room.

  “I’m coming.” She snagged a black coat and joined him. “How do I look?”

  “Gorgeous enough for Sam to regret what he’s doing—God forbid.”

  She stopped dead in her tracks and the truth settled over her. “I don’t want him to regret it, C.D. He’s happy with Blair, and I thought—I believed—“ She sobered and demanded an answer, “C.D., are you happy with me?”

  He pecked a kiss to the tip of her nose. “You know I am.”

  “I know you love me,” she corrected him. “But I’ve known people who loved people and were totally miserable with them, too.”

  “Do I look miserable?”

  “Not at the moment, no.” He didn’t. He looked tense, but charming and relatively content.

  “Do I act miserable?”

  “No.” He always seemed content, too. Nearly perfectly content.

  “Then I must not be miserable.”

  Katie went serious, clasped his face in her hands. “Not being miserable isn’t enough, C.D. What I want to know is if you’re happy.” She searched his eyes. “Are you happy with me?”

  “Katie,” he said, hesitant but determined. “Where do you see us five years from now? Ten years from now?”

  Her throat went dry. “I—I don’t know. We’ve never talked about it…”

  “Do you think we should talk about it?”

  That depended on what he had to say. If they were together, then yes. If not, then she’d rather not know.

  Coward. Coward. Coward.

  About this? Absolutely, she was. Absolutely. “I guess so, but not now, C.D. We’re due in court.”

  “When?”

  “After court is over?” she suggested, half hoping he’d postpone it until later. Much later.

  “Okay.” He turned for the door. “Let’s go, then.”

  She didn’t move.

  “Katie?”


  Her heart didn’t want to beat. She was too afraid to move. “I—I don’t want to go.”

  He looked stricken. “Because you don’t want to divorce Sam?”

  “No. Of course, I want to divorce Sam.” Her certainty surprised even her, but there it was: truth in its bare bones. “Because I’m afraid of what comes after.”

  “After?” C.D. frowned, wrinkling the skin under his eyes, between his eyebrows. “You’ve lost me this time, Angel.”

  Good grief. This was no time for his internal radar on her to go on the fritz. Why could he read her mind at other times, and not now? She summoned her courage and said what she had to say. “Tell me I’m not going to have to face the rest of my life without you. Can you tell me that?”

  “Sure.” He offered the solace she sought. “Katie, you’ve been a part of my life since the moment I met you, and you’ll be a part of my life until I draw my last breath. I swear it on my wings.”

  A part of his life. Not what part, but a part. Imperfect, but then they were, too. She could live with a part. She could be content with that. And she could breathe again. The air she was taking in really was nourishing her lungs, and she could breathe again. “Okay.”

  “Okay, let’s hurry. A ticked off judge is not a good thing.” He held up her coat.

  She shrugged it on. “But nothing’s in dispute.”

  “I know that, but still. Why tempt him into a bad mood? Ticking off a judge is never a good idea, you know?”

  Katie walked out and saw a black Lotus parked in front of the cottage. “Did you get a new car?”

  “No.” He thumbed his key ring and the door locks clicked open. “I’ve had it a while. I’ve just been driving the Hummer because I like it.”

  Liar. For some reason, he hadn’t wanted her to see the Lotus. Now, why would that be? Katie slid him a suspicious, sideward glance. “A Lotus is a very expensive car, C.D.”

  “Yeah, it is. But it was my consolation for losing you, and what else was I do with my money?”

  No family. She slid onto the buttery leather seat and then waited for him to get inside. “Barbie must have done an amazing job with your investments.”

  C.D. cranked the engine and backed out of the driveway, then shifted, and took off. “She has done a good job,” he hedged. “I told you that.”

  “Not ‘Lotus’ good, you didn’t.” Katie swatted his arm. “Just how good a job did she do?”

  “Really, really good.” He smiled.

  This wasn’t making sense. “C.D., you’re being deliberately evasive.”

  “Yeah, I am.” He smiled. “We’ll talk more about it after the hearing.”

  “What difference does the hearing make?”

  He stopped at a stop sign, then made a left and pulled into the courthouse parking lot. Sam and Blair were standing beside their Beemer. “Trust me.” He turned in and parked. “I adore you, sweetheart, but you’re too generous for your own good.”

  The truth hit Katie. “You were serious. You said I had more money than I could spend in two lifetimes—at Thanksgiving, when the family was going to chip in so I could have my garden center,” she reminded him. “You really meant it.”

  He didn’t answer.

  “C.D., you gave me a commission. That’s the money you were talking about, then, wasn’t it? You weren’t talking about my six years’ of pay.”

  He checked his watch, then kissed her quiet. “Later, honey. We’ll sort it all out later.”

  “But, C.D.—” Just how much money had he given her?

  “It’s really not important right now.” He nodded out the windshield. “Sam looks like he’s about to have a stroke.”

  He did. He was a total wreck. Katie got out and walked up to him and Blair. “What’s wrong?”

  “The press has found you, Katie,” Sam said anxiously. “We did everything that lieutenant from the base told us to do. But somehow they got wind of the hearing. The judge has closed it to the public, but when we come out—I don’t know how we’re going to keep them away from you.”

  Katie had refused to meet with the press, and PR personnel at Paxton had moved heaven and earth to help keep her location a secret. She’d even bought her car in C.D.’s name, and his name was on the utilities for the cottage—she hadn’t so much as signed a check at the grocery store. Paxton had set up a Post Office Box for her at the base. She’d returned all the offers for books and films and interviews unopened. How had she goofed? How had they found her?

  “Where are they now?” Katie asked.

  “In the main parking lot,” Sam told her. “There’s about fifty of them.” He sounded mortified. “I told C.D. to come in this way. Usually only the judges are allowed to park here, but Judge Haines made an exception for us. Special circumstances.”

  Blair clasped Katie’s arm. “Honey, they’ve called the house so much, we’ve had three unlisted numbers since you got home.”

  Katie couldn’t grasp it. “But I’m calling the same number.”

  “That’s a special cell we got in Miranda’s name just for you and us,” Blair said. “We’re still averaging over a hundred calls a day, Katie.”

  “Oh my stars.” She couldn’t believe it. “Why didn’t you tell me they were making you crazy?”

  “You had enough going on,” Blair said. “Sam and I, well, we couldn’t do much, but we could do that.”

  C.D. grimaced. “They’re camping out at your house, too, right?”

  “No,” Sam said, red-faced. “Judge Haines issued a restraining order on all the places Katie typically is, and the President himself appealed to the press. Drs. Muldoon and Firestone said it was essential to your mental health that they leave you alone, and the press respected that. At least, until now.”

  “I’m sorry.” Guilt swamped Katie. “I had no idea. I guess I should have thought about it, but I didn’t.”

  “We didn’t want you to know,” Sam said. “We were trying to protect you, Katie, so you could reorient on your own terms. But one of the jerks cornered Molly. Judge Haines issued a second restraining order to keep them away from the kids, notified the President, and he had a chat with the reporter’s employer. The others have all been respectful. They get what Drs. Muldoon and Firestone said.”

  “They all did that?” Katie was shocked.

  “They did,” Blair said. “It was admirable. You hear so much about the press not being respectful, but they were for you, with that one lapse.”

  He went after her daughter? Anxiety gripped Katie. “Was Molly upset?”

  “No,” Blair quickly reassured her. “The little ham loved the attention.”

  “This has got to stop.” Katie was shaking inside.

  “There’s only one way to stop it, Katie,” C.D. said. “Talk to them. After the hearing, just go talk to them.”

  Sam and Blair looked so hopeful. Their lives had been a wreck and had been made even more of one with all this. “Okay,” Katie said. “I’ll talk to them, but I’m not getting specific about what happened there, C.D. That’s between me and God, and that’s that.”

  “Whatever you say.” C.D. led her to the door. Just inside it, she stopped and turned to Sam. “I want you to know that I believe this is right for all of us. I loved you, Sam. I’ll always love you. But you belong with Blair. She makes you stronger and wiser and brings out the best in you. I never did, and I’m okay with that. I won’t regret our thirteen years. We grew up together, and we have great kids. Those years were well spent.”

  “Yes, they were.” Sam took her hand and brought it to his lips. “I love you, too, Katie.” His eyes shone bright. “But the truth is you’ve always been in love with C.D. I don’t blame you—he’s exactly right for you—and I don’t even think you realized you were in love with him. But I saw it every time you looked at him. I felt it every time you mentioned his name. He touched something in you I couldn’t touch. I was jealous of it, but I couldn’t compete with it. I didn’t want to have to compete with it.” He gave h
er a trembling smile. “I won’t ever regret our thirteen years, either. I admire you, Katie. The way you came back, and how you were with me and the kids and Blair. I thought you’d be…” Words failed him. “I don’t know what I thought you’d be, but you were good and kind and compassionate.” His eyes gleamed admiration. “And so strong. Katie, I was never more proud of you than then.”

  C.D. and Blair stood back, hearing every word and pretending outwardly to be deaf as stones.

  Sam bent down and lightly kissed Katie, and she raised on her tiptoes to receive his kiss.

  Blair smiled at C.D. “Bet you don’t see that every day in divorce court.”

  C.D. smiled back. “Bet you don’t.”

  “C.D.” Blair looked deeply into his eyes. “Oh, my gosh. Sam is right. You have loved her all along. This isn’t new love, just since she came back.”

  “He was right and wrong,” C.D. confessed. “I’ve always loved her. She loves me, but she wasn’t and likely never will be in love with me.”

  “Mmm…” Blair kept her thoughts on that to herself, and they walked into the courtroom.

  Judge Haines was in his fifties, had a broad nose and forehead and wide set eyes that were sharp and intelligent. He watched with curiosity as all parties sat at one table, rather than two, with the attorney seated between Sam and Katie, and Blair on Sam’s left, C.D. on Katie’s right. Normally that would have raised concerns, but the attorney—technically Sam’s—had taken great pains to inform the judge of the special circumstances in this case. And there was the matter of Katie’s notoriety to consider, as well. It wasn’t often that a case came before him where nothing was in dispute. That nixed a lot of the usual protocol, and frankly he was grateful for it. Because of all Katie Slater had endured already, he had no desire to see her upset further.

  Small mercies made all the difference to returning P.O.W.s. Small mercies, the support of loved ones, and the passage of time. Her husband was divorcing her, but truthfully, she didn’t seem upset by that; she was facing him smiling.

  Judge Haines took off his glasses and glanced under the table where she sat. She and C.D. Quade were holding hands, probably sure as certain their judge couldn’t see it. But of course, he could see it—a necessity these days due to security concerns. One never knew when a defendant would somehow get in with a gun. All the metal detectors in the world couldn’t stop a determined man.