Lawfully Chosen

by Ginny Sterling

  This afternoon was no different.

  She felt so light hearted as he jokingly cleared their spot, so the blanket didn’t have lumps underneath from the pecans and branches. He lay it out and sat down, holding out his hand towards her. She placed her hand in his and felt herself yanked forward eagerly, putting her directly into his arms and upon his lap. Laughing happily, she threw back her head but the moment changed from lightheartedness to intimacy the moment he kissed her neck tenderly.

  “Will, no,” she began and pulled away from him, knowing that they were alone and the temptation was there. Instantly, Will released her and got to his feet. She watched him step away, and crouch down, his back towards her. He picked up several pecans and turned back towards her. “I’m sorry,” she began hesitantly and saw him shake his head with a knowing look.

  “No, I should be apologizing to you,” Will told her and brought her the pecans. “I feel so much, so overwhelmed, in moments with you. This is us…”

  “Nuts?” she asked, staring down at her hands holding the nuts and his hands cupping hers.

  “No,” he laughed aloud. “Well, maybe? But no. I feel like this is us because we are out here alone. A shell around our innermost persona, but when someone takes the time it takes for us to open up,” he stopped talking and kissed her cheek. “It’s delicious and you just want more. I am sorry I seem to keep touching you or kissing you but-“

  “Stop, you don’t have to say anymore,” she interrupted softly. She saw his mouth open to speak again, and she shook her head. “You don’t have to explain because I feel the same. I just get nervous because I’ve never cared for someone like this.”

  Will stood there for several moments, holding her hands in his, as he looked down into her eyes. She could see the unspoken questions and the need that he felt for her. She was keenly aware of her own heart thumping in her chest that must match his own. Slowly, he leaned down towards her.

  His lips hesitated briefly over hers as if to give her time to pull away. Penny wasn’t missing this for the world. This seemed to be a pivotal moment to her in her mind. His lips touched hers and she felt that same sense of oneness steal over her that she’d felt each time he laughed, looked at her or smiled her way. Simple, innocent, chaste kisses eventually deepened as he held her close to him.

  She couldn’t imagine anyone else ever kissing her the rest of her life. The boys she’d dated before could never inspire this longing, trust, and commitment from her. Penny felt silly even thinking it, but she could see a future with Will and prayed he felt the same.

  He broke the kiss and brought her hands with the pecans up to his lips, kissing each one of her fingers softly. “Someday, I want you to know what you mean to me. I would do anything for you…”

  Penny must have looked surprised, because he suddenly flushed nervously and released her. As he stepped back and looked away, she cursed her foolishness. The man was nervous, shy and skittish when it came to him revealing how he felt; she needed to be more decisive if she wanted to continue down that path to find out what he thought. She wished she could read his mind or see into his soul. There was no rewinding now, the moment was broken and she felt a keen sense of loss at knowing that she wanted to hear more words of love from him.

  “You mean a lot to me too,” she began and saw him run his fingers through his hair. He was thinking or nervous, that was a sure sign. “I look forward to our time out here, you know? I don’t mean to interrupt your train of thought or what you were saying – I just don’t know if we are ready for all of this.”

  Penny felt just awful seeing him close himself off. It was as if she saw the walls he’d worked on suddenly there back in place. He was afraid and she didn’t know how to get back to the man she’d had a glimpse of. Will had trust issues but expected her to do so implicitly.

  “Don’t turn away and don’t shut me out,” she said bitterly, feeling a lump in her throat. He glanced at her in surprise and wonder, letting Penny know she’d hit the nail on the head.

  “I’m here. I care for you and trust you more than anyone but you have got to be patient with me. Let me be who I am, but you should be there for me when I need you too. Don’t shut me out or turn away when I need more time or make a mistake. You care for me, then give me that consideration.”

  Will pulled her into his arms wholeheartedly and simply held her. Neither said a word. She was glad of it. Feeling his arms around her made her feel secure and the strength in his arms gave her the impression that he needed the connection between them too.

  Penny couldn’t speak if she’d wanted to, she felt too fragile and it was like everything going on in her life was too much for her. Ruby, Bonnie, Will – it was overloading her emotions and she wanted the best for all of them, but most of all – she wanted the best for herself.

  After some time, she realized that he’d began to sway, holding her. Penny couldn’t have picked a more perfect gesture than simply being with the man she cared for and enjoy the feeling being cherished. She lay her head against his chest as they danced in the warm breeze that played a silent melody for them.

  “I needed this,” she admitted softly. “I think we both do, just to be held here under the trees by each other.”

  6

  The attention Will was showing her kept her mind off of other things. For instance, she knew Bonnie had taken some money from her purse. What she did not realize until yesterday evening was that Bonnie had also taken her gun that she kept stashed in the box on the mantle. She had heard a noise outside and went for her gun before walking outside to check it out only to find that her gun was gone. She never intended to use it, it had been her fathers and in the family for as long as she had known. Now it is gone, and she could only assume that Bonnie had it.

  “Will? I have something going on that I don’t know what to do with”

  ”What is wrong?”

  Penny hated to burden him – he had picked up some fried pies and they were snacking on them under the pecan trees. She really loved her afternoons with him, or she could talk share and just be with her friend. Since that afternoon a few days ago, they’d kept things light between them. Driving the car filled her afternoons with excitement, something she missed since she had stopped going to motion pictures or dancing when her mother had left.

  “My gun is missing.”

  ”WHAT?” Will very nearly roared, sitting up from where he lay on the blanket. The birds overhead in the trees launched into the air, disturbed and alarmed at the sound of his voice. Penny herself had jumped at the tone but he’d caught himself and was bringing himself under control. She knew he wasn’t angry with her, but more with the situation – or at least that was what she told herself. She’d never seen him lose his temper before and this seemed to be very close to it. He took several deep breaths and asked her calmly to tell him what happened.

  ”I thought I heard a noise last night – and I went to go get it, and it’s gone. I don’t know what to do or who to report too, that’s why am asking you,” she began anxiously.

  “Do you have a serial number or any information on the gun?”

  “No, it was my daddy’s. It’s been in my family forever that I know of. I couldn’t even tell you what kind of gun it was, because they scare me and I don’t want to touch them.”

  “Was it loaded?” he bit out and she hated that he was so upset. She was beside herself at the thought of it being used to hurt someone.

  “I think so – I know that sounds so stupid, but I really never touched it. My mother had kept it in the box, and when I moved I put the box on top of my mantle.”

  ”Do you think there’s a chance that Ruby has it?”

  ”No,” she admitted softly looking away. She knew that she suspected Bonnie but even thinking it made her feel awful. She felt guilty by association.

  “But you suspect someone, and you don’t want to say…” Will said aloud for her.

  “Yes, remember I said Bonnie took some money out of my purse and I di
dn’t want to say anything or do anything about it? I’m wondering if she took my gun too.”

  ”If Bonnie comes to your house – I do not want you to answer the door,” Will said firmly and then shocked her. He took her hands in his and looked almost embarrassed or anxious. “How do you feel about going to visit my parents farm?”

  “Absolutely not,” she said quickly, pulling her hands away from him.

  “Why not? Look at is this as a small getaway, I’m sure if you explain to Joe then he will understand and let you off of work. You can’t stay in that house by yourself unarmed with a known felon down the street.” Penny could see he was getting frustrated at her refusal, but she’d struggled for a long time to get where she was now. She couldn’t start over.

  “Bonnie is not a felon.”

  “Not yet, but her boyfriend sure is. Look I’m not supposed to discuss this, but I received orders today to start investigating how Clyde Barrow escaped the McLennan County Jail just south of here.”

  “What? He was in jail?” Penny was stunned that he’d even told her.

  “Yes, and the rumor is that Bonnie smuggled a gun into him.”

  “Noooo,” she gasped feeling faint all of a sudden.

  “I’m afraid that your tender heart, your gift for seeing the best in people, will get you hurt. Everyone is a friend to you, but sweetheart they aren’t friends. Please consider getting away for a little bit and staying safe. For my sake at least.”

  “I appreciate that – but I have to believe that Bonnie is doing the best she can right now. She’s probably like a cornered animal and lashing out.” Penny abruptly stood up and shook out her skirt – they had been lying on the blanket for quite a while talking. But she needed to get up and move around, talking about Bonnie and the trouble that she was getting herself into simply did not sit well with her.

  “If you won’t go out to my parent’s farm, and you won’t leave town, I will get you another gun. But I want you to keep it in your room and near you at all times. Don’t let it out of your sight. And promise me that if someone bothers you, you will tell me immediately. If it’s money causing you to stay here, I’ll help you.”

  “Look, I can’t go to East Texas – I have no money and cannot start over again for nothing. I have my job and home here and I’m building a life here. I have my friends, even if you don’t like them and it’s my life to deal with. Appreciate the offer of the gun, and yes that would be a comfort. I appreciate you giving me driving lessons, it’s been tremendously fun. But that is about as far as I’m willing to take from you.”

  “Penny – I am more than willing to help. I just want you safe.”

  “And I appreciate that, but I’m not looking for a sugar daddy and I am no sap. I think maybe you should drive me home now.” She had abruptly ended their afternoon interlude. While the thought of Bonnie taking her gun had made her upset, the idea of him trying to control her or tell her to her friends could be made her nauseated. Or even the fact but she might have possibly hurt his feelings by standing up for herself made her feel physically ill. She watched as he abruptly folded up the blanket into awarded ball, normally he would shake it out and folded nicely. And she would gather up the basket. This time, it was not the case. He put both in the trunk quickly and hopped in the car without a word.

  They rode silently back to her house, and he insisted on walking her to the door. When she got home, there was a note on the screen door for her. She pulled the note off and walked inside inviting Will to follow her. Inside of the note was three dollars, and a simple phrase scribbled on the paperwork.

  Thanks for the loan.

  Will looked at her – skepticism on his face. Penny knew that the color had sunk out of her own cheeks, with thinking how horrible this looked.

  “I didn’t loan her the money? I swear it. I couldn’t have, I needed it. And I did not lend her the gun, I want to assure you of that.”

  “Are you helping her?”

  “No!”

  “I’ve got to make sure because you cannot help criminal. You have to decide what you want in your life. Do you want someone that cares deeply for you and wants the best for you, or someone who put you in danger?”

  “Will, I promise you I did not give her the money, nor did I give her the gun. Here is where I stored it,” she showed him the box on the mantle and the bullets were still inside loose. He took the box and held it for moment, staring at it silently.

  “Will? Do you trust me?”

  ”I do, God help me I do. I trust you– I’m just afraid. My heart tells me one thing, in my mind warns me of another. I have been betrayed before in the past, and it hurts. I do not want to have that happen again. If you will not leave your house, or go into hiding, I want you to take my gun. I want you to understand that this is registered to me. If this goes missing or get stolen or get used in a robbery, it all falls back on me. If you tell anyone what I told you about Clyde, it all leads to me. You’re my girl and they know it at the station. I am trusting you with my life and my future.”

  ”Will, no,” she began and tried to hand him back the gun he was pushing into her hands. She hated guns and was terrified of them. That was part of the reason she didn’t know if her fathers was even loaded, she never touched them.

  ”Yes, because I can’t leave you here unprotected, I can’t stand the thought of someone I care for being taken advantage of or in danger.” Will grabbed her and kisses her thoroughly there in the middle of her living. It’s like the last bit of the shell around him has dropped away, revealing his innermost thoughts. He was worried about her and cared about her. Ruby came flying through the front door at that very moment and to a complete an abrupt stop when she saw the two of them in each other’s arms.

  “Whoops! I think I’m interrupting something?” Will leaned down and kissed Penny gently on the cheek – whispering in her ear. His words and warm breath gave her chills of anticipation and desire.

  “I love you Penelope, I need you to be safe for me.”

  Penny stood there in shock. Will still held the box in his hand, with his back to Ruby, he placed his gun in the box quietly without a word, looking at her firmly. Penny nodded at a loss for words at the intensity in his eyes and the gesture he was making. He was putting his future in her hands and trusting her with everything. He handed the small wooden box to her, nodded and turned around with a wide smile at Ruby.

  “Good evening Ruby – did you have a nice time out?

  “The best – I went dancing. Maybe sometimes we can get you to go with us?

  “Someday,” he said and looked over his shoulder at where she stood, holding the box behind her now out of sight. “I will see you soon, Penny.”

  She watched him walk out the door and immediately retired to her bedroom, feeling lost and alone. She slipped the small box underneath her pillow case, and peaked out the window shade to watch his car off into the night

  ”Things getting serious between you two?” she asked flippantly, leaning on the frame od Penny’s doorway. She pulled the cloche off her head and shook out her smoothed curls.

  ”Ruby, he’s a really great guy”

  “I’m glad – you deserve somebody. I just never thought it would be him. He’s too straight-laced and you need a little fun in your life. Live a little chickee, come dancing with us next time we go out,” Ruby told her. Penny stood there silently. She wanted to hear all about Ruby’s night out, but she couldn’t tear her eyes from the road where Will was leaving in his car.

  ”I think he is just what I need,” she whispered but Ruby had already left her alone.

  7

  May 1930

  “Bonnie what are you doing here?” Penny exclaimed in surprise walking into the kitchen. She’d overheard Ruby talking to someone early one Sunday morning, and walked in to see that both of them were seated at the small kitchen table having a cup of coffee. They looked awfully chummy and cozy. Bonnie look just as cool and casual as she always had, but there was a hard edge to her now, so
mething she had never seen before. Her eyes were different. Where she’d always been friendly, her eyes were now cold and flat. Bonnie actually had the nerve to pull out a cigarette and light it in the small room.

  “Please don’t smoke in here,” Penny asked politely. It was like the two were circling each other for dominance in the small room. Bonnie eyed her up and down, making her feel like she was lacking somehow in her eyes. Was it because she herself wasn’t some hoodlum?

  “What you’re too good for this now? I thought you used to be fun, one of the gang? You seem a little stuffy nowadays, acting like you are better than everyone. Is that because of your sheriff?”

  “Bonnie, I have never smoked. You were the smoker. It’s never been welcome in my home and Ruby you know that. There seems to be a lot of rules and lines that you don’t mind crossing lately and I don’t really want to be a part of it.”

  Bonnie stood up abruptly, walked across the kitchen and put her cigarette out in the sink, watching Penny the entire time. It was like a silent standoff between the two. Bonnie was dressed beautifully but it was obvious that Clyde was having some sort of influence on her. She’d never seen her looking this brash, this arrogant before. It was as if she simply would do what she wanted and cared nothing for the consequences. Penny stood there in her threadbare wrapper pulled tight around her neck, her hair disheveled from sleep and aggravated beyond belief that the woman had the nerve to show up.

  “Penny relax, she’s here to talk,” said Ruby amicably. Penny knew that the woman was well liked, it was simply a matter of trust. She didn’t trust Bonnie to keep from helping herself to anything in her home and she didn’t have much anyhow. What was stopping her from taking anything else? Would she do it at gunpoint? Her own gun, at that?