‘Well, no,’ she said. ‘We were planning on making a trunk call tonight if that’s okay. After we’d let you all in on the secret.’ She looked at her watch. ‘We’d best wait another hour or so or we’ll wake her up too early. As we all know, Mummy’s not an early morning person.’
Ronan looked at Clara lovingly. ‘Clara’s agreed to marry me in the autumn. After the wedding, if we save enough money, we’ll go to England for our honeymoon, so Clara can see her mother. And we’ll go to Dublin to see Grandma.’
‘How wonderful.’ Kathleen clapped her hands. ‘We’ll have to start planning straightaway.’
‘We want to have our wedding at the church in Gullumbindy,’ Ronan said. ‘With Father Fogarty doing the honours.’
‘How lovely,’ Kathleen said. And now,’ she added, ‘I feel a glass of champagne’s in order. I just happen to have a bottle in the fridge. Then you can ring Jessica.’
When everyone had been poured a flute, including a mouthful for Freddie and an inch for Marcus, James proposed a toast: ‘To Ronan and Clara.’
‘To Ronan and Clara,’ reverberated around the room.
James gazed at his smiling family. The only glitch on the horizon was Jessica. How would she cope with this news? The small church in Gullumbindy would be a bit different to Christchurch Cathedral in Dublin where Jessica would have been in her element had Clara married Charles Fitzpatrick. True to her word she hadn’t tried to make contact with James for any more money since they had been in Australia. So he wondered if she would be able to afford the fare to Australia for the wedding — unless she had found another source of funds. Would she even want to come?
CHAPTER
39
While Clara went to the phone to ask the overseas telephone exchange to get her mother on the line, Ronan stood with his back to the fire and looked around the room. Marcus and Freddie had gone to bed, but Lillie, Ma and Dad were still here in the living room discussing wedding plans. Ronan felt as happy as a pig in mud. Clara was already so much part of his family’s life that he could see how thrilled they were to welcome her formally into the fold. The only one who had seemed slightly hesitant was his father. Maybe he was worried they were too young to make such a commitment. Then again, Clara had been even younger when she had become engaged to Charles Fitzpatrick, and his father had seemed okay with that.
In the background he could hear Clara talking to her mother. All of a sudden she raised her voice and he moved to the door.
‘What do you mean I can’t marry him?’ she shouted down the phone. ‘You’ve always adored him. And Aunt Kathleen’s your best friend.’
Feeling anger rise up inside him, Ronan rushed to join her.
‘She wants to speak to Aunt Kathleen,’ Clara said, putting her hand over the mouthpiece.
‘Why?’
‘God alone knows. Can you get her?’
Mystified, Kathleen went to the phone. When she came back into the living room, it was as if every last drop of blood had been drained from her body. Ronan watched her move to the drinks cabinet and pour herself a stiff glass of whisky. He had never seen her drink whisky before.
‘What was all that about?’ he asked her.
‘Perhaps Mummy had too many gin and tonics last night. Or she’s lost her marbles,’ Clara muttered in disbelief. ‘She sounded really odd on the phone. She wouldn’t talk to me. She wanted you, Aunt Kathleen.’
‘She hadn’t had too much to drink,’ Ma said.
‘Well then, tell us what she said?’
Ma shook her head. ‘I’m afraid I can’t do that. Not yet. I need some time.’
‘Time for what, Ma?’ Ronan demanded. ‘What could you need time for? Obviously Clara’s mother doesn’t think I’m good enough for her daughter. Did she say why?’
Ma looked at him. Tears started rolling down her cheeks. ‘I’m afraid I have to go and lie down now. Could we talk about this in the morning?’ She stared forlornly at his father. ‘I need to discuss what Jessica told me with James.’
‘This is ridiculous,’ Clara exclaimed. ‘I mean … What’s Mummy going on about? She sounded so adamant that I should come home right now and not get married to Ronan. I think she definitely must have gone quite batty or —’
‘Oh, Clara, I’m so sorry …’ Ma said. She looked to Ronan. ‘So very sorry …’
A silence prevailed as never before. Normally this room was full of chatter, laughter and music. Now it seemed as if it was in mourning.
‘Maybe she thinks it’s too soon after breaking off with Charles Fitzpatrick,’ James suggested helpfully.
‘No. It’s not that,’ Ma said, moving towards the door. ‘Nothing to do with that at all. It’s my fault. Totally my fault.’ She looked at James imploringly. ‘Please … can you come with me?’
After they both disappeared through the door Ronan was so confused he found it difficult to think. One minute he’d been on top of the world and now that world had come crashing down like a rugby scrum. How dare Jessica spoil his and Clara’s happiness! He looked at Clara, whose eyes were wet with tears.
‘I don’t get it… How can it be Aunt Kathleen’s fault?’ she sobbed.
‘I honestly don’t know,’ Ronan said, and went and put his arms around her, trying to calm her.
‘I want to ring Mummy back,’ she cried.
Ronan felt Ma was trying to shield Clara from Jessica. Why, he had no idea. But he felt the best thing to do would be to get Clara out of here. Away from the phone.
‘Come for a walk with me down to the river,’ he said, giving her a squeeze. ‘In the morning we can see if we can work it out.’
Clara glanced at Lillie, who was looking totally bewildered.
‘Do what Ronan says,’ Lillie said. ‘Although it’s cold, it’s a lovely night with the moon out. I’m sure it’ll all be okay in the morning. There must’ve been a misunderstanding, that’s all.’
‘Yes,’ Clara said, solemnly. ‘I suppose you’re right.’
Outside on the verandah, Ronan took Clara’s hand. ‘No matter what that was all about, it won’t make any difference to us,’ he said. ‘I promise you.’
Clara started sobbing. ‘She’s always been like that. I bet it’s because she wanted me to marry Charles so she could go and live at Drominderry House. That must be it. I can’t think of anything else. Sometimes she behaves like a spoilt brat.’
Although Ronan was completely bewildered by what had happened, he tried to sound upbeat. ‘Well, she’s not going to spoil our happiness.’ He led her down to the riverbank and he pulled her down beside him. ‘Nothing can spoil that.’
He kissed her tenderly and wiped her tears away. Soon a small smile appeared on her face. ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘you’re quite right. Nothing can spoil that, can it?’
* * *
The next morning Ronan and Lillie were in the kitchen washing up the champagne flutes when his father came out about eight o’clock. Ronan thought he looked as if he hadn’t had a wink of sleep. His hair seemed greyer and his shoulders stooped. Marcus and Freddie were off rabbit trapping with Arthur and Clara was still asleep.
‘I’ll take your mother a cup of tea,’ James said, glancing at the kettle on the stove.
Lillie jumped up. ‘I’ll get it, Dad. And I’ll make some toast. You sit down.’
She put some bread in the toaster, lifted the kettle from the stove and filled the china teapot. Covering it with a floral cosy she put it on the painted wooden tray, together with a piece of toast with butter and what Ronan knew was Ma’s favourite ginger marmalade.
‘Is Ma okay?’ she asked, worry etched in her grey eyes as she handed her father the tray.
Ronan thought Dad seemed sadder and crosser than he had ever seen him. Then he seemed to pull himself together and gave them both a forced smile.
‘I’m afraid she’s had a dreadful shock. And so have I.’ What he said next sent a chill through Ronan. ‘I’m not sure if she’ll ever get over it. Or if I will, either.’ He looked
out the window at the softly falling rain. ‘If any of us will.’
Ronan felt sick inside. What had Jessica said that was causing this sort of reaction?
‘I want to see her,’ he demanded.
‘No, Ronan,’ James said. ‘Not now.’
He picked up the tray and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Ronan and Lillie standing in shock.
Ronan made to follow him. ‘I’m going in to see her,’ he said to Lillie. ‘This is bloody ridiculous.’
‘Please don’t, Ronan. It’ll only make matters worse if Dad said not to. Why don’t you go and see if Clara’s awake? You can take her a cup of tea.’ She came over and put a hand on his shoulder. ‘Give them time to sort out whatever the problem is.’
* * *
Much to Ronan’s consternation, Ma stayed in bed all morning. At one o’clock he was surprised to see Father Fogarty arrive and go with Dad into the bedroom. As he left the priest seemed quite disturbed. Ronan asked him what was going on, but he just shook his head.
‘I’m afraid I’d be breaking your mother’s confidence to tell you that, Ronan. She will explain it all in her own good time.’ He looked out the window to where Marcus and Freddie were playing with their kite. Dingo was running around in a state trying to catch it. ‘In the meantime, I thought I’d take those two larrikins in to the Hogans for the night,’ the priest said. ‘They’re expecting me for dinner. In the morning they can drop Marcus at the bus for Tamworth and Freddie at school.’
‘But why?’ Ronan asked. ‘I mean …. What’s the matter?’
‘I’ll get their things ready,’ Lillie said, throwing Ronan a look that made it very clear that she was more than happy her little brothers were getting away from whatever was happening here.
Half an hour later they were gone and James came out to where Ronan was sitting on the back verandah with Clara and Lillie.
‘Can I go and see her now?’ Ronan asked, jumping up.
‘No, son. She’s writing you a letter. Father Fogarty suggested it. I’m afraid she’s not up to seeing you right now. But she wants you to know. In her own words.’
‘Gees, Dad! Wants me to know what?’
James sighed deeply. Reaching for his pipe he knocked it on his shoe before pulling out his leather pouch and filling the bowl. Holding his silver lighter to the bowl he took a long, deep draw. All the while, Clara, Ronan and Lillie continued to stare at him in confusion.
‘I’m afraid it’s up to your mother to tell you what happened, Ronan. It’s not up to me.’
‘I don’t give a damn,’ Ronan said, trying to push past him. ‘I’m going in to see her.’
His father held up his hand to stop him. ‘No, Ronan, please! Don’t do that. Let her try and come to terms with this in her own way.’
‘Come to terms with bloody what…?’
‘Swearing won’t help matters,’ James said. ‘Try to be patient.’ He looked at Lillie. ‘Maybe you could take your mother a cup of tea, Lillie.’
* * *
When Lillie knocked on the door of her parents’ bedroom there was no answer.
She knocked again. ‘Ma, it’s Lillie. I’ve brought you a cup of tea.’
‘Come in,’ her mother said.
Once inside she got a dreadful shock. Ma was on the bed, sitting propped up by cushions, a pad of notepaper and a pen in her hand. She looked as though she had aged twenty years in the space of a day. Her eyes were red from crying and her beautiful face was all blotchy.
‘Oh, Ma,’ she said, going over and placing the teacup on the bedside table. ‘What’s happened?’
Kathleen put the pen down and wiped her nose with a handkerchief. She took a deep breath. ‘Lillie, dear Lillie … What have I done? I’ve ruined Ronan’s life. Clara’s too.’
Lillie’s heart gave a dreadful lurch. ‘What do you mean, Ma? How could you have done that?’
Ma looked towards the window and then back again to Lillie. ‘What’s happened is just too awful. But I can’t tell you now. I must tell Ronan first.’ She started crying and Lillie put her hand out to comfort her. ‘I’m writing him a letter,’ Kathleen sobbed, picking up the pen again. ‘Father Fogarty suggested it.’
‘Why would you write him a letter? He’s in the kitchen. I can get him and you can tell him now.’
Kathleen tried to curtail her sobs. ‘No. Don’t send him in. I wouldn’t be able to tell him. It’s best I write it in a letter.’
It was such a strange thing to do, to write a letter to someone who was in the same house. Lillie wondered if Ma hadn’t had a stroke or something. Or was she having a nervous breakdown?
‘But what’s so bad you have to put it in a letter?’ she asked.
‘Darling, please leave me now. I can’t explain. Not until Ronan knows.’
Lillie looked at her mother forlornly. ‘But …’
‘Go, Lillie. Please. Leave me be.’ She picked up the notepad. ‘Leave me to finish this letter.’
Lillie shook her head. ‘Okay, I’ll go. But Ronan and Clara are so confused. And upset. We all are. Dad looks dreadful.’
‘I know, darling. But there’s nothing I can do to make things better. All I can do is try and explain to Ronan in this letter.’
Lillie felt she had no option other than to let Ma be. ‘Well at least drink that cup of tea,’ she said, pointing to the teacup. ‘And I’ve put a shortbread biscuit on the saucer.’
Kathleen tried a smile. ‘Thank you, darling.’
Lillie gave her a small smile and went back to the kitchen.
‘What did she say?’ Ronan asked as soon as he saw her. ‘Did she explain what’s going on?’
‘No,’ Lillie said. ‘She didn’t.’
‘I’m going to try Mummy again,’ Clara interrupted. ‘Whatever she said to Aunt Kathleen has upset her dreadfully. She shouldn’t have done that.’
‘Clara, there’s little point in ringing your mother,’ James said. ‘I don’t think she’ll tell you anything. Not until Kathleen does.’
‘My God! This is all so ridiculous.’ Clara was almost screaming now and Lillie thought she was going to lose it completely. She looked at Ronan. ‘She’s your mother, Ronan. Do something. Please!’
‘There appears to be nothing I can do. I’m so sorry, darling.’
James went over and put his arm around her. ‘Ronan’s right, Clara. There’s nothing he, or anyone else for that matter, can do. Except be patient.’
Lillie felt so distressed and confused that she wanted to burst out crying. But that would only make matters worse. As Dad said, all she and the rest of them could do was be patient.
CHAPTER
40
Just as Ronan was contemplating going in and confronting his mother no matter what, his father brought out a letter from her. Clara had decided to go for a ride on her own to try and calm herself down, so there was only Lillie with Ronan.
‘I think you should go off somewhere quiet and read this,’ James told him. ‘Ma said that if you can ever forgive her, she’d like to see you when you’ve read it.’
‘Jesus bloody Christ!’ Ronan no longer cared that he was swearing in front of his father. ‘Forgive her for what, Dad?’
‘Read the letter.’
‘What about Clara?’
‘When you’ve digested what Ma has told you, you should then tell Clara.’
Ronan held the piece of paper in his hand as if it were a grenade about to go off. ‘What does it say?’
James shook his head. ‘I’m afraid you’ll have to read it yourself. Quite frankly, I haven’t read it. It’s between you and your mother.’
‘Why the hell can’t she tell me what’s happening, rather than all this carry-on?’
‘Please read the letter, Ronan,’ James said. ‘In the meantime I’ll take Dingo down to the river. I’ll be there if you want to talk to me.’
After he had gone Ronan stood with the letter in his hand, shaking his head.
‘I think you should read it,’ Lillie said
. ‘Go into the living room. On your own.’
Ronan sighed. In the living room he chose the chair by the window. A sprinkling of sunshine fell on its fading Sanderson print. Slumping down among the soft cushions he started to read.
My darling Ronan,
I can’t think of any other way to tell you this. Although a better father, and a father who loves you more, would be hard to find, James is not your biological father.
Your father, dear Ronan, is his brother Dermot, who, as you know, won the DFC for his bravery in the Burma campaign and later died during a dangerous low-flying mission in Vietnam.
Ronan looked in horror at the paper in his hand. This must be some sort of sick joke. He knew Dermot O’Sullivan, whose portrait had hung in the hallway at Rathgarven, had been a Squadron Leader with the RAF and was killed in action as part of a British–Indian and French taskforce during Operation Masterdom in Vietnam just after the Second World War had ended. During the Burma campaign his feat of shooting down three Japanese fighter aircraft in one day was unmatched and he was awarded a DFC for his skilled leadership and enormous courage.
But Ronan had had no idea he had known his mother.
Jessica introduced us at the Tollygunge Club in Calcutta. At the time Dermot was seconded to headquarters from flying combat missions into South Burma. Over that period we fell deeply in love. During the months he was on Operation Masterdom in Vietnam he still managed to get back to Calcutta to see me. The day I learnt of his death was the saddest day of my life. A week later I found out I was expecting you. Although I was overcome with such fear for the future I knew I had been left a priceless gift.
We had already decided that when the war ended we would go to Ireland and be married at Holy Cross Church in Kenmare and Dermot was keen to have the reception at his family home. We had written to James and his mother to tell them this, and also to my beloved Aunt Mildred who lived further along the river from Rathgarven. This is where I first met James, never imagining that years later I would meet his brother in Calcutta and fall deeply in love. Dermot’s tragic death put an end to our plans.
Fortunately, Finn was in Calcutta at the time I found out I was expecting you. Together we decided that it would be best for me to return home to Ireland to Aunt Mildred’s. Being the great friend he has always been, he somehow found me a flight and helped me with the fare. As you are aware, he’d known the O’Sullivans since he was a boy. He told me he would wire James and his mother and tell them I was coming and that I was carrying Dermot’s child.
The Homestead on the River Page 34