The Homestead on the River

by Rosie MacKenzie

  After ten minutes or so, she stood up and went back to her car and sat for some time. She thought of scaling the fence and seeing Rathgarven’s house. But, being a well-known bookie, she was sure Donoghue would have guard dogs. So she started the engine and drove back to Drominderry House, where another happy reminder of her childhood at Rathgarven was waiting. At the thought of Seamus her heart lifted.

  It was cold and wet the next afternoon when Seamus brought his manuscript to the flat Lillie was sharing with Grandma. Alice was out playing bridge with Lady Fitzpatrick and another couple. Lillie asked him to read it out to her. She thought he wrote beautifully and with great soul and told him so.

  ‘While you were off gallivanting yesterday,’ he said, ‘I stopped to chat to your grandma when she was sitting down by the water. I was carrying my manuscript and she insisted I read it to her. She’s a much harsher critic than you. But she gave me some great ideas.’

  ‘She used to write articles for English magazines, so she knows what she’s talking about.’

  Lillie showed him a photo of the gold chalice his father had saved from the ashes when Rathgarven burnt down in the uprising. Grandma always carried it with her, saying it was her good luck charm. Last night she and Lillie had been looking at it together.

  Seamus held the photo up to the light. ‘I’m mighty glad my father played a part in saving your father and his brothers. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.’

  Lillie smiled shyly. ‘That’s a lovely thing to say.’ She took the photo from him. ‘Maybe one day you could write the story of this chalice. How it came to be at Rathgarven in the first place and how your father saved it.’

  ‘I have indeed thought of writing about those tragic times. Maybe I will. And Rathgarven could play a role.’

  Lillie felt so comfortable with Seamus, she ended up telling him how her father had gambled on a horse race and Donoghue had literally snaffled Rathgarven as payment of his debt. How much she loved the place and how heartbroken she had been to leave. How it had nearly killed Ma. Dad, too. And how Ronan had been distraught.

  ‘That’s where I was yesterday. Trying to have a look.’

  ‘Did you succeed?’

  ‘No, it was all locked up. Marcus and Freddie were too young to worry too much when we left. But I think Ronan lost a bit of himself when we drove out that last time. As did I. Even though I love Eureka Park, there was something about Rathgarven that got under my skin.’ She looked towards the water. ‘And now that I’m back by Kenmare River, I realise how much I miss it too.’

  ‘Well, if the weather’s okay let me take you out for a row tomorrow.’

  Lillie smiled. ‘That would be lovely.’

  The next morning dawned bright and sunny, so in the afternoon they set off in the rowboat. Out in the cove Seamus stopped rowing and leant over and took Lillie’s hand. For some time they sat there with the sound of the water lapping against the side of the boat.

  ‘Is this not heaven,’ he said, gently rolling his thumb over her skin.

  Lillie sighed. ‘It’s beautiful.’

  Now he lifted her chin and kissed her on the lips. Yielding her body to his, she felt a warm shiver of desire run up her spine and down to her groin. But when he lifted her blouse and put his hand on her breast, she moved away. Even though she was sure it would be different with Seamus, she still had depressing memories of that day with Brad Hickey by the river at Eureka Park. And how soon afterwards he had broken up with her. She didn’t want what she had with Seamus to be spoilt. Although many girls of her age in Australia were on the Pill, Lillie wasn’t. Not only was it proclaimed a mortal sin by the Catholic Church — one would burn in hell for daring to take it — Lillie was also too embarrassed to go to a doctor to ask. In any case, in Ireland it was illegal.

  ‘It’s okay,’ Seamus said, when she pulled back. ‘I understand.’

  He ran his hand through her glossy hair. ‘I don’t think you realise how beautiful you are,’ he said, kissing her on the forehead. ‘I thought that the first time I sat next to you on the bus from Cork.’

  ‘Did you now? Well, I didn’t think you were that hot,’ she lied, laughing.

  ‘So why did you blush to the bottom of your shiny black shoes when I asked if you were going to that dance at Kingdom Hall in Sneem?’

  ‘I did not,’ Lillie exclaimed.

  ‘Ah. But you did.’

  Lillie was blissfully happy. Seamus made her feel so special. She may not be tall and slim like Clara, but Seamus seemed to like her just as she was, curves and all.

  * * *

  Now it was starting to get quite cold in Kerry with the nights closing in and Alice thought it was time she went back up to her hotel in Dublin.

  ‘Why don’t you stay on down here?’ she asked Lillie one afternoon as they sat by the water, rugged up against the stiff breeze. ‘You could stay for Christmas. Margaret told me how much she loves having you here. She says Charles has perked up no end with you and Seamus around to do things with.’

  ‘That does sound tempting,’ Lillie answered. ‘I have an open ticket so I may think about doing just that.’

  Grandma was no fool. Lillie was sure she knew exactly what was going on with Seamus and herself. She was torn. Christmas without Ronan at Eureka Park would be sad as it was, but if she wasn’t there it might be dismal, particularly for Freddie. And she wanted to enrol at Sydney University. But she was desperately in love with Seamus and should a day go by without her seeing him, she missed him. Of course she could apply to a university here in Ireland, but she wasn’t sure if they would take someone from Australia. Maybe if she went back home, they could both see how it panned out. If they couldn’t live without each other, either Lillie would come back to Ireland, or Seamus might come to Australia. In the meantime they could write and there was always the telephone. This, she told herself, was a grown-up decision.

  ‘I know. And I’ll miss him, too,’ she said to Grandma. ‘But I promised Ma and Dad, and myself, that I’d go to university. And Seamus will probably go back to Dublin after Christmas. In any case I promise I’ll try to come back next Christmas.’

  However, when Lillie told Seamus she was leaving, and had promised Grandma she would try and come back next year, he persuaded her to stay on a little longer.

  ‘I can’t see how another few weeks would hurt,’ he said, kissing her tenderly. ‘Then when you callously leave me to flit across the world, it’ll only be a year till you’re scurrying back to your handsome Irish lover for next Christmas.’ He ran his finger across her top lip. ‘I think I might survive that long. Any longer and I’ll have to be going on a hunger strike.’ He patted his stomach. ‘Mind you, I could probably do with that.’ They were lying in front of the fire in the boathouse, toasting marshmallows. Seamus leant down and kissed her again. ‘Surely you could grant a poor sod a few more weeks of happiness?’

  It was during this conversation that Lillie told Seamus about Ronan and Clara. She’d thought of telling him before but had put it off, as she wasn’t sure how he would take it. After all, he was Charles Fitzpatrick’s friend, and it wasn’t your everyday family story. When Lillie explained everything that had happened, beginning with Ma falling in love with Dermot O’Sullivan and ending with Ronan having signed on with the Australian Army to go to Vietnam, Seamus stood up and went to the small fridge in the corner of the room to fetch a bottle of wine.

  ‘Well, I’d better not tell Charles that,’ he said, pouring Lillie a glass of wine. ‘Though it’s some story — a writer could make a good tale of it.’ He handed the glass to Lillie. ‘I must say Charles did seem besotted with Clara.’

  ‘Did you ever meet her?’

  ‘No. She was gone before I got there.’

  ‘If she hadn’t come to Australia, none of this would’ve happened. She’d be married to Charles, and Ronan wouldn’t be in Vietnam.’

  ‘Ah!’ Seamus said, wrinkling his forehead and giving her a lopsided grin. ‘Do you not think that brother of yo
urs was there for the taking? It takes two to tango, my sweet. And no doubt your darling Ronan was easily got. But I can understand why you need to get back to your family. It’s been a traumatic year by the sounds of it.’

  A week later, Grandma’s carer, Bette, caught the train down from Dublin, and now that her leg had healed, drove her back to her hotel in the car Lillie had rented. Seamus assured her he would drive Lillie to Shannon airport when it was time to go. She would then fly to Dublin where she would board the connection for her return flight to Sydney. Saying goodbye to Grandma this time wasn’t nearly as traumatic as it was when Lillie was a fourteen year old. This time she was sure she would see her again next year. Even so, she held her tightly before she got in the car.

  ‘Take care, Grandma.’

  ‘And you take care,’ Alice said, brushing a tear away with her hand. She looked at Seamus. ‘You make sure you hold her to her promise to come back next year.’

  ‘Ah, that I will, Mrs O’Sullivan.’

  As they watched the car head down the driveway and away from Drominderry House, Seamus put his arm around Lillie and she rested her head on his shoulder. Much as she wanted to be with him, she felt guilty that she hadn’t gone back with Grandma.

  * * *

  The weekend before she left Drominderry House, Lillie suggested to Seamus that they take a picnic to a small hidden cove that she had once gone to on a primary school excursion. Charles had bought a new outboard motor for the rowboat, so after Seamus had dragged it out from the workshop at the rear of the boathouse and put it on the back of the boat, Lillie got in with the picnic basket. They rowed out through the rocks and when they were in the open water, Seamus got the motor going. It was a beautiful autumn day with hardly a cloud in the pale blue sky. A formation of wild geese flew overhead and all around the boat fish jumped and dived. Across the water were the ever-changing colours of the Kerry Mountains, and as she looked at Seamus with the tiller in his hand, Lillie felt a huge rush of exhilaration.

  Seamus tilted his tweed cap and gave her a broad smile. ‘On a beautiful day like today on Kenmare River, and with a gorgeous lady by my side, what more could a poor sod ask for?’ When they reached the hidden cove, they dragged the boat up on the shore. Lillie laid out their picnic on a mohair rug under a tree. Seamus opened a bottle of champagne and handed her a glass.

  ‘Sláinte,’ he said with a wink.

  ‘Sláinte,’ Lillie said, taking a sip. She licked her lips. ‘Yum.’

  She gave Seamus a plate from the set in the wicker picnic basket that Lady Fitzpatrick had owned since she was first married. She then handed him the sandwiches she’d made earlier. When they’d finished the sandwiches, Lillie took out a bunch of grapes and some cheese. Soon Seamus was feeding Lillie one grape after another, and she was doing the same to him. When the grapes had all gone, Seamus leant over and put his head on her lap. Dappled light chased over the rug where they lay, and Lillie could hear the gentle sound of a soft breeze in the leaves and the water lapping against the speckled rocks.

  Just when she thought Seamus had fallen asleep, he surprised her by raising a hand to softly caress her cheek. Then he pulled her face to his and kissed her with such passion that she thought she would lose her breath. He tenderly undid the buttons on her shirt and exposed her left breast, gently placing her nipple between his lips. Fondling her other breast, he let his hand wander across her belly, sending such an exhilarating current through her being that, despite her best intentions, Lillie was lost. Unlike her experience with Brad Hickey, this moment was beautiful and joyous and had been waiting since the day she was born. When Seamus finally slid inside of her, thrusting gently at first and then more urgently, she experienced so much pleasure she cried out in ecstasy, never wanting it to stop. Now she knew that Sheelagh, and all the books she’d read, had not exaggerated the bliss of making love.

  As they lay together afterwards, Seamus stroked her hair. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, kissing her gently on the forehead. ‘I promised not to do that.’

  Lillie caressed his hand and smiled. ‘It was beautiful. I’m sure one time can’t hurt.’ She felt such happiness as she had never felt before.

  * * *

  All too soon it was her last night at Drominderry House. With her things packed Seamus took her out to dinner at a new cosy restaurant in Kenmare.

  ‘To the most beautiful colleen in all of Ireland,’ he said, raising a glass of champagne and pushing a small green box across the table to her. When Lillie opened it she found a silver Claddagh ring nestled in the plush cushioning. ‘So you won’t be going and forgetting me,’ he said, placing the ring on the fourth finger of her right hand. ‘Now,’ he continued with a gleam, ‘the important bit. You’ve got to be sure you wear it with the heart pointing inwards to tell the world you’ve got a jealous lover waiting back here in Ireland.’

  ‘You’re daft,’ she laughed, ‘but thank you.’ She leant across the table to give him a kiss. ‘It’s a beautiful ring. I’ll treasure it always.’

  The next afternoon Seamus drove her to the airport, dropping her at the front of the terminal. She had told him not to come inside, as she thought it would be too horrible waiting around in the airport, knowing that the inevitable would happen. And Lillie felt sure she’d burst into tears in front of everyone, which would probably embarrass Seamus terribly, not to mention herself.

  After Seamus carried her suitcase to the kerb, he took her in his arms and gave her a long passionate kiss. Standing back he smiled that lopsided grin she’d grown to love so well.

  ‘Don’t you be going off and falling in love with someone else. If you did that, I’d have to shoot the poor bastard.’

  For a moment they clung to each other. Then Lillie dragged herself away with tears running down her cheeks.

  ‘I love you, Lillie O’Sullivan,’ Seamus called out when she was near the terminal door, making a nearby group turn around to see who the lucky Lillie O’Sullivan was.

  I’m stark, raving mad, she thought as she lifted her hand for a final wave. How could I leave a man I love like this?

  CHAPTER

  47

  Kathleen turned over the letter from Ronan. It was the third time she’d read it.

  All’s good, he wrote. I’ve been back in base camp at Nui Dat for over a week now. Food’s not too bad and I have the odd game of poker. Won a bit last night.

  Kathleen knew he couldn’t write much about the actual fighting, as it would be confidential and his letters would be censored. But she did wish that he was allowed to disclose more. To say how dangerous it was. Or whether he was in an area where there weren’t too many Viet Cong. Were there mines in the area he patrolled?

  I had a letter from Lillie yesterday. Imagine her meeting up with Seamus Flaherty again. Sounds as though the poor girl has fallen badly for him. Good luck to her.

  This made Kathleen feel dreadful all over again for what had happened to Ronan. Had he heard from Clara while he was in Vietnam? Would she even know that he was there?

  Give Marcus and young Fred my love, Ronan wrote. Dad too. And lots of love to you, Ma. I really miss you all.

  Kathleen smiled at the young Fred bit. Ronan had always called him that. They had such a special bond and she knew Freddie was missing him, and worried for him. Freddie was now up in Tamworth at school with the Christian Brothers, sharing a room with Marcus at the Thompsons. That poor Thompson family was all she could say. If the brothers fought up there the way they did here they must find it very tiresome. But to give the Thompsons their due, they never once let on that they did. Kathleen and James had become very friendly with them both over the years, and as far as Kathleen could see, they loved having the boys billeting there and often took them on outings and would go and watch their rugby games if Kathleen and James couldn’t get up to see them. Sometimes the four of them would be there sitting on the sidelines drinking coffee out of a thermos, the men throwing advice to the players and the wives gossiping. She missed the boys so m
uch when they weren’t here and looked forward to Friday nights when she would pick them up from the bus and they would talk over each other to tell her about the week.

  It was interesting to see how Freddie was growing into himself. He no longer gave in to Marcus like he used to. This, of course, caused more disagreements than ever. Nevertheless, every now and then she would find them down by the river fishing companionably — until one caught a fish and the other didn’t.

  ‘You stupid dill … you moved and scared my fish away.’

  And so it would go on.

  To give Marcus his due, he had never brought up the business of being James’s eldest son again. And when he was here on weekends he spent so much time helping Arthur, James, and the extra couple of stablehands they had taken on a while back, that Kathleen felt it might well be him who ended up taking over Eureka Park if Ronan decided to make the Army his full-time career. Although Freddie loved the horses, his great interest was the wild animals and birds around the place.

  ‘I think I’d like to be a vet,’ he told her one afternoon as they were trying to feed a baby bird that had fallen out of its nest. ‘A vet that works in a zoo.’

  Kathleen folded up Ronan’s letter and put it on the sideboard for James to read later. She checked the steak and kidney pie she had going in a low oven for James and Arthur’s lunch, then went outside and put on her riding boots and grabbed her Akubra hat. It was time to take Cosmo, sired by one of their new stallions, for a run. Although there were many other foals frisking by their mothers’ sides, Kathleen had fallen in love with this chestnut one nearly as much as she had with Shannon Boy. Every time she did her rounds of the paddocks to check all was well he would rush over and nuzzle his nose into her face. She had worked out a good routine, which gave them both some exercise. She would saddle up Cosmo’s mother, put her camera into the saddlebag, raise herself into the saddle and Arthur would then hand her Cosmo’s lead rope. With a wave to Arthur they would set off. Not once had Cosmo tried to break free. It was as if he looked forward to this game and there was no way he was going to spoil it. Today they twisted their way through the bush towards the hill near Snake Gully Road, where she coaxed the mare into a canter and the three of them raced up the track. At the top of the hill Kathleen dismounted and tied Cosmo and his mother to a tree to graze. Getting out her camera she wandered through the bush to see what she could find. There was a kookaburra sitting on a tree stump that would make a great photograph. On her favourite rock she sat down and gazed over Eureka Park towards the river she had grown to love so much.