A Greek Affair

by Linn B. Halton

  No wonder he prefers not to think about it. It was a simple virus that did the damage in the first place.

  ‘So you choose not to tell people about what you’ve been through because you’re scared they’ll look at you differently, or because you’re always waiting for something to go terribly wrong?’

  He turns to face me. ‘Since splitting with Tricia I haven’t been close to anyone and in a way that has made my life a lot easier. The only person I worry about is Bella.’

  ‘So starting over again with someone new in your life is a responsibility you can’t handle?’

  He nods. ‘Look at your reaction, Leah. You just put your hand over my heart as if you were checking it was still beating. Now I’ve told you, will it make you treat me any differently?

  I know my face is probably as bathed in shadows as Daniel’s is to me, but even so I keep my expression calm and relaxed. ‘Of course not. I’m just sad to think of what you’ve been through but I would never have guessed.’

  ‘Ha! Good attempt, Leah, but your body language is definitely saying something else. This conversation has not only killed the passion but now you’re considering every little word before you say it. I’m not made of glass and I won’t break. The heart I have is strong but I’m not sure it’s fair to inflict this future on someone else. Particularly someone who has already been given such a rough ride in life. And that’s what my conscience has been wrestling with this past two and a half weeks.’

  Now it’s Daniel’s body language that is giving him away, because despite what his mouth is saying, his arms don’t loosen their hold. We’re each gripping the other as if we never want to let go. Whether I like it or not, what I feel is a wide range of conflicting emotions but that’s not a bad thing. It helps to understand why he’s been so incredibly hesitant to get into another relationship; but I can’t pretend it isn’t a shock or the last thing I could possibly have expected him to say.

  I decide that there’s only one way to show him that he’s wrong and that’s to reignite the passion. It’s a risk but one worth taking. He responds instantly when I press my lips to his and tease them open with the tip of my tongue. I swing myself around to sit facing him, desperate to prove I refuse to let this change anything between us. But any thinking is brought to an immediate halt as Daniel leaves me in no doubt whatsoever that he’s fit and strong. And willing.

  Afterwards, we lie together, drifting in and out of sleep and the conversation we had seems like something out of a surreal dream. Just the closeness of him and the way he wraps his arms around me makes me feel at peace. Daniel isn’t a taker and he isn’t a user. That endears him to me even more so and yet I realise that is the battle to be fought and might be what will ultimately threaten to keep us apart.

  You can’t escape from the realities of life, can you? There’s no point in pretending that Rosie, Mum and Dad won’t factor in every decision I make in the future. Responsibilities and relationships often seem to conflict with our hopes and dreams and yet people like Antonio will always serve their own interests first. I’m not like that and neither is Daniel. It’s rarely as simple as being able to grab what you want from life, or even what you believe will make you truly happy. But tonight, my mission was to make Daniel feel wanted and appreciated; he makes me feel special and I hope I’ve made him feel special, too.

  Some Goodbyes Are Harder Than Others

  It’s early when I steal out quietly, so as not to disturb Daniel. I hardly slept, so many things were whirling around inside my head. I shower and change, then pack my suitcase, switching into auto pilot mode. Heading downstairs with my camera, it’s time to gather my thoughts and grab a quiet cup of coffee out on the terrace.

  It’s another stunning day, the line where the blue of the sky meets the azure blue of the water is almost impossible to distinguish. It’s time to ground myself and I go through a mental checklist of the photos I’ve taken. Villas done, tick. Temple of Zeus, the National park, Syntagma and Kolonaki done, tick. The wonderful views taken from Lycabettus Hill are a real bonus, although for me they represent a memory to cherish forever. I stand, then wander around and grab some shots of the ocean and the picturesque garden. Even looking down onto the sandy shoreline of the Astir Beach Club in nearby Vouliagmeni, there’s hardly a soul to be seen this morning.

  Why am I here if my feelings for Daniel are going to come to nothing because I’m asking too much of him? Before I can even contemplate the answer to my own question, his voice comes out of nowhere. I turn to see him standing next to me.

  ‘I wish you had another day here and we could spend it lazing down there on the beach like tourists.’ He sounds wistful, leaning in to kiss my cheek and add a cheerful, ‘Good morning.’

  ‘You were sleeping peacefully when I slipped out. I didn’t want to spoil your chance for a lie-in.’

  He grabs my free hand, wrapping his own around it. Just the feel of his skin sends a little shiver down my spine and when I look up into his eyes it’s a curiously intimate moment.

  ‘I seldom sleep like that, in fact I can’t remember the last time I had a dreamless sleep that was so restful.’

  Reluctantly, I withdraw my hand to replace the lens cap on my camera so we can head inside. There’s a glass of water and Daniel’s pill box on the counter top, next to two mugs of coffee and a plate of fruit.

  ‘I’ll grab the yoghurt while you get the dishes,’ I offer.

  Moving around each other in the kitchen, it’s like some weird dance in slow motion. Every single movement seems to mean something, as if we’re disturbing the air around us and the other person can feel the effect rippling outwards. It serves only to increase the awareness of our proximity.

  ‘What time will your taxi get here?’

  We exchange glances then peer up at the clock on the wall in tandem, which shows that it’s just after 9 a.m.

  ‘An hour. I’m all packed and ready to go.’

  ‘Good. We can linger a while over breakfast then.’

  As we head back outside I wish I could stop time, conscious that each second that passes is one less we have together.

  Daniel is making a huge effort to be bright and breezy, so I follow his lead. We lay everything out on the table and take our seats next to each other. Simple things like reaching out and touching his arm, or when he passes me something and our fingers touch, seem even more meaningful. Sensual and pleasurable, given that we are both aware that inside the house the hands continue to move around the clock: counting down until it’s time to say goodbye, yet again. There’s still so much to say but it’s hard to know where to start and we’re running out of time. It’s Daniel who finally gets up the courage to begin the conversation.

  ‘You were right and I owe you an apology. I should have told you the whole truth from the very start and it was unfair of me not to do so. Even worse, I blew it the second time around when I flew out to see you with the express purpose of telling you what had happened and then bottled out. But you gave me yet another chance and came back here again, and that was clearly a big deal for you. Especially as you didn’t really know what you were walking into.’ He looks at me with anguish written all over his face.

  I smile and he does a double-take, a questioning frown creasing his brow.

  ‘I came back because I hoped you’d trust me enough to tell me everything, Daniel. Last night proved to me that your feelings for me are strong enough for you to overcome a huge hurdle. We both have baggage we can’t ignore. I have an anxious time ahead with a divorce looming and your daughter is going to need you even more as that wedding of Tricia’s approaches. As for the other matter … it’s a part of your life journey, as tough as it’s been to go through it. From what I can see you are thriving, and you’ve been given all the assurances from the doctors, but you act as if you expect your life to be cut short at any moment. What if Bella picks up on your anxiety?’

  It’s tough love, I know that and I’m not trying to judge him or his reaction to somethi
ng that is so emotive, as well as physically challenging. Walking around with someone else’s heart inside of you means you have life because they lost theirs. How can that thought not be a part of your every waking moment?

  ‘You make it sound simple but we both know there’s more to it than that.’

  I nod in agreement, my core full of compassion. ‘Of course there’s more to it, there always is, Daniel! But you’re fit and well now and as for the other problems, we just need to work out how we’re going to get around them. When it comes to future health issues, well, any one of us could get sick at any time. You can’t let it hang over you like a sentence that can’t be avoided.’

  His look is one of reluctant scepticism.

  ‘So you think we can do this, we really can make it happen and have our happily-ever-after?’

  ‘Why not? As you said, we’ll take it one step at a time. I wish I had a magic wand to solve all of the issues but what I do have is determination and patience. If you want this as much as I do, then together we’ll make it work somehow.’

  ‘But there are no guarantees—’

  ‘—for anyone, about anything in life. So what do you think?’

  His eyes search mine and I can imagine the range of emotions flashing through his mind right now. I lean in to him and kiss him gently on the lips. He pulls away, briefly, smiling across at me.

  ‘I want to be there for you on the end of the line whenever you need me, until we can be together again. If you have a problem with Antonio, then I want to know about it and if you need me urgently then I’ll fly back from Athens early. Is that understood?’

  Reaching out to touch his cheek a part of me longs to stay here, even though I know that isn’t possible. ‘Understood. We’ll find a way through this, Daniel. I know we will.’

  My voice sounds more hopeful than I feel at this particular moment. Tick tock; tick tock – our time together is running out. My mind tries not to focus on the fact that I need to savour every last moment we have together. Once again, I don’t want to leave him and this time, knowing what I know now, it’s even harder.

  I push the plate in front of me away, unable to find any hint of an appetite with all of this swirling around inside my head.

  ‘Focus on getting this divorce sorted and once that worry is behind you we’ll decide on our next step. Our time apart will either make us or break us.’

  Daniel reaches across to grab my hand as he speaks, entwining our fingers. I know we’re both thinking about last night and drawing strength from it. Here and now, this feels very real and my heart actually aches. It’s the same pain I can see reflected on Daniel’s face and I know we’re each struggling to maintain our composure with varying degrees of success. It’s as though we’re being slowly ripped apart with each passing second and, once again, it’s agony.

  ‘Falling in love with someone is ecstasy,’ Daniel’s voice is husky, ‘but it’s also painful in other ways.’ I nod my head in agreement because it’s as if he’s reading my mind.

  ~

  We stand, hugging each other, the sound of an idling engine setting my nerves on edge. As we let go we exchange a faltering smile and I can see how emotional Daniel is, too. I begin walking towards the car, then turn around to wave as he stands in the doorway of the villa. I want to imprint his image on my mind so I have it there for comfort until we meet again. My heart feels heavy and I’m struggling to breathe, as if I’m having a panic attack. What if things don’t come together once he flies home and this turns out to be the last time I see him? Could fate be that cruel?

  When he flew over to the UK he said he would understand if I changed my mind because it’s complicated. But the love between a man and a woman can be as powerful and all-consuming as the love between a parent and a child. We would both fight to our last breath for our kids and I don’t intend letting anything get in the way of our own happy ever after if it’s avoidable or fixable.

  Huh! I’ve done exactly what I promised myself I wouldn’t do again and that’s to let my heart rule my head. But this time, it doesn’t matter, I reassure myself firmly, because this man is a keeper and together we have to find a way to make it work.

  ~

  I’m back in the UK. Feeling lonely and missing you like crazy and we’ve only been apart a few hours! What have you done to me, Dr Preston?

  I press send and then wish I could recall my text. It sounds way too needy. A few seconds go by before there’s a ping.

  Missing you more! I’ve been sitting here waiting for your text, not wanting to believe how far away you are right now.

  My visit with Daniel feels more like a dream than something that actually happened. But I can’t stop my heart from leaping at the thought that he might feel the same way. Now I simply have to begin working through the steps to sort out my divorce so that Rosie and I can finally move out from under the shadow Antonio created in our lives. Knowing it might be one step closer to the prospect of our being a part of Daniel and Bella’s lives only increases my determination. Could we eventually be together, as a blended family unit? Or will Daniel himself have second thoughts and decide it’s too much responsibility welcoming Rosie and me into his already fragmented life? What I have to accept is that the future is still very uncertain.

  Picking Up the Pieces

  I arrive back home feeling quietly optimistic one moment and fearful, the next. The result is that a very strange mood has settled over me. I make a monumental effort to appear light-hearted and upbeat but Mum and Dad aren’t fooled. Thankfully, Rosie is slightly distracted when she opens her present. But only a few minutes later she’s asking about Athens and Daniel.

  ‘How is Bella’s ankle now, Mum, and are we going to meet up with them when Daniel flies back to England?’

  Three pairs of eyes watch me, awaiting my response with a sense of hopeful anticipation.

  ‘Maybe, darling. Bella is fine now; it was only a bad sprain. Daniel is going to be very busy when he first arrives home but he will be in touch when he can.’

  I can read the expression on Mum’s face. She wants to know what happened but all I can give her at the moment is a reassuring smile.

  Rosie chats almost nonstop in the car, clearly having had a good time and lots of fun on her day out with Callie and her grandparents. Whenever she seems to be running out of steam I ask a simple question and she’s off again.

  Once she’s safely tucked up in bed I tackle my emails. Lots of new advertisers wanting space, several offers from hotels wanting to be featured and Wendy from Loving Life magazine confirming the publication date of my first article. I also have the deadline now for the second one.

  I whip through it all relatively quickly, then download the Athens photos from the SD card without even looking at them. I feel like a robot going through the motions efficiently but without any emotional attachment whatsoever. I can’t even get excited about the potential new business coming my way.

  I’m conscious that I have had no contact at all with Harrison since his last text on Saturday morning. I have no idea how his meal with the parents went and I feel mean. But he’s going to ask about Athens and I know only a phone call will do to discuss that, so I dial his number.

  ‘Hey, it’s me. I’m back.’

  ‘Leah, about time! Is no news, good news?’

  I bet he’s sitting there with his fingers crossed for me, as he’s that sort of a guy. But suddenly I feel awkward as it would be wrong of me to share Daniel’s secret. Even though I trust Harrison implicitly and value his opinion, it’s not mine to divulge.

  ‘First of all, how was the meal with Ollie and your parents?’ I feel bad that I didn’t text him Sunday morning but I know he’ll understand once I explain.

  ‘There was a pretty rocky start but it soon improved. Ollie was nervous and Dad sort of put him through his paces, almost vetting him; wanting to know about his background, why he decided to specialise in family law and divorce, and it took a while for everyone to begin feeling comfortabl
e with one another. I think it was only nerves all round, but the tension was awful for a little while there.

  ‘Ollie is very close to his family and once we moved on to that topic the mood lightened. He has three sisters and he trotted out a few anecdotal stories that were rather endearing. Actually, I felt a little sorry for him as being the youngest it seems he was bossed around an awful lot.’

  This is a two-way conversation and I need to focus, even though my head is still all over the place.

  ‘Did you discuss the future?’ I ask, tentatively.

  Harrison seems remarkably relaxed about everything, which is in sharp contrast to his previous levels of anxiety that had almost bordered on paranoia.

  ‘We thought it was best to tackle everything up front. Ollie and I are in the process of putting our houses on the market and once we have offers we’ll begin looking for our future home together.

  ‘My parents are throwing a party for my dad’s birthday in August and they were both in agreement that it would be a good time to introduce Ollie to the entire family. I am a little nervous about that as there are a lot of them. I have three uncles and two aunts and a horde of cousins. Plus, various friends who attend all our family parties. Of course, Ollie accepted the invite there and then out of politeness. I only hope he’s up to it on the night, as even I struggle to cope with them all. My family certainly know how to party.’

  ‘I’m so happy for you, Harrison. That’s one enormous hurdle you’ve jumped.’

  He doesn’t reply instantly and I begin to feel uncomfortable.

  ‘Well, I’m waiting. How did it go with Daniel? I’ve been worried about the lack of contact but Ollie told me to stay calm and wait until you were ready to talk.’

  I let out the long, deep sigh I’ve been holding in. It’s a mixture of joy, frustration and excitement. Plus, I don’t really know where to begin.