‘Ollie, we’ve reached an agreement in regard to future contact with Rosie and the financial implications arising from our divorce. Can you come back in and we’ll run through the terms? Antonio and I would like to get this signed off as soon as possible.’
Only a Fool Would Get in my Way
Harrison quizzes me as he drives me back, wanting to know every little detail and is clearly delighted that I’m walking away with the result I wanted.
‘I feel … elated! And strong.’
He’s laughing as I’m having a hard time containing my jubilation. I feel victorious. I gave nothing except for what I was prepared to give in fairness to Rosie.
‘I need a drink – and make it a large one!’ I exclaim.
‘Yes, ma’am. Will the bar in the station do?’ Harrison pulls into the car park and points to a sign advertising The Whistle & Flag.
I glance at my watch. I have just over an hour until the train departs.
‘Perfect. And when you see Ollie, later, can you thank him for me? I’m not the easiest client and I’ve been so driven by my emotions that I haven’t always listened to his advice. He did an amazing job talking to Antonio, though.’
‘Did Antonio say anything at all about your sister?’
‘Only that they split up not long after the disappearance and he doesn’t know where she is. A part of me longs to have news of her. Knowing what I do about Antonio, now, perhaps it is within my heart to forgive her. But maybe her whereabouts will always remain a mystery because she can’t forgive herself. Kelly knew perfectly well that after what she did my world would fall apart and that Rosie’s life would change forever. I feel like I never really knew the person she was, because you have to be cold-blooded indeed to do that to anyone, let alone your twin sister. I used to be able to feel her presence, in here.’ I tap my chest. ‘But now there’s nothing; any link has been severed and that’s why I feel Kelly will never return to us. I can only hope that wherever she is, she’s safe and happy.’
‘Maybe she fell under his spell and if he fooled you, he could also have fooled her. But I guess you’ll never really know that for sure.’
I shrug off any thoughts of Kelly. That’s now a thing of the past for me and the only one who can change that is Kelly herself. If she ever does come back, I know I’ll deal with it.
Harrison pulls into a parking space.
‘This is the thirty-minute parking pick-up zone; will that be long enough to enjoy that celebratory drink?’
I nod and open the door; Harrison locks the car and we head off towards the bar.
I have to walk quickly to keep up with his long strides. He turns his head slightly to look at me as I trot along half a step behind him.
‘How’s Daniel?’ His lips curve upwards in a teasing smile.
‘He’s good. Fifty-three days until he flies home.’ I smile up at him but I can still see his concern. ‘Daniel has been a tower of strength. He understood that today was crucial for me but now it’s sorted, I can finally think about moving on. I will admit that so much hangs on Rosie’s reaction and he has similar concerns about Bella. She, too, has to adjust to a new father figure coming into her life when her mother remarries, in addition to Daniel stepping back into a more hands-on role again. We have a mountain to climb to make it all work and so much could still go wrong. The decision isn’t ours alone.’
Harrison is already perched on a bar stool and as I hoist myself up next to him we exchange a look of reluctant acceptance.
‘What can I get for you tonight, guys?’
‘Red?’ Harrison looks at me and I nod. ‘Two glasses of a Shiraz, please.’
The bartender walks away and Harrison begins to drum his fingertips on the bar counter.
‘Come on, say whatever it is that’s on your mind,’ I urge.
Now Harrison isn’t even looking at me.
He reaches inside his pocket and pulls out his phone. After tapping away for a few moments he hands it to me.
‘You need to read this article. It appeared in the York Daily Recorder over two and a half years ago.’
The headline makes my stomach lurch.
Dr Terry Carpenter takes over as dig coordinator at Upper Reach after colleague falls ill
It has been confirmed that Dr Carpenter will take over supervision of the dig, after complications following a viral infection hospitalised fellow lecturer and archaeologist, Dr Daniel Preston.
The site has been run by the university for several years and accounts for an important part of the field work experience which attracts budding archaeologists to York.
A representative confirmed that Dr Preston’s condition continues to worsen after the virus caused irreparable damage to his heart. He is currently on the waiting list for a heart transplant. A group of colleagues are planning a charity walk to raise funds in support of the hospital where he’s being treated.
The university has set up a page on their website where people can register an interest in taking part or can make a donation to the fund.
Harrison is studying my carefully blank face.
‘You knew all along?’ He levels the accusation at me.
‘Daniel told me on that last night we were together.’
He lets out a huge sigh of relief. ‘Thank God he told you. I’ve been dreading breaking the news to you. Why didn’t you tell me?’
I pass the phone back to him.
‘Because I still have to get my own head around it and I also felt it was his secret to tell. It happened a few months after he split from his wife and even Bella doesn’t know. He’s strong and fit, but when I felt his scar…’
I look across at Harrison and give him a sorrowful look. ‘The last couple of weeks have felt like overload. I’m not ignoring anything, just side-lining a few things on a temporary basis until I have the energy to deal with them properly.’
‘I’m not trying to give you a hard time, Leah. I just wanted to check that you know what you’re getting yourself into.’ He means well and I know I haven’t been straight with him but I also know Daniel wouldn’t be happy if he overhead our conversation. The problem is that I need to talk to someone about this and Harrison is so great at listening and understanding what really matters.
‘I have no idea what the life expectancy is for someone who has had a heart transplant, but I believe there’s always a chance of rejection.’ My words have a hollow ring to them and I can see how worried Harrison is, loath to address such a sensitive issue.
I raise the wine glass in front of me to my lips and take a huge gulp.
‘Daniel takes a lot of medication twice daily and that will continue for the rest of his life. He has regular check-ups, though, and everything is fine according to his doctor. I did some online research and the days and weeks following the procedure are when the patient is most at risk. His prognosis is good, and many transplant patients go on to lead a very full life. I just wish he’d told me sooner because my reaction to his scar was one of total shock as it was so unexpected. He initially mistook that for hesitancy, as if it changed how I felt about him and that wasn’t true at all.’
We sit together looking across at our reflections in the mirror on the back wall of the bar.
‘How do you start a conversation like that when you’re only just getting to know someone? It can’t be easy, Leah.’
Harrison’s face reflects sympathy, tinged with sadness and I put my hand on his arm to give it a squeeze. It means a lot to me to know that he can see it from Daniel’s perspective.
‘He thought I wouldn’t be able to cope when I found out, but now he understands he was wrong. It simply put everything else into perspective for me. Antonio was the last unknown in the whole thing. Now that’s finally resolved I can focus on the future.
‘The rollercoaster ride that is my life isn’t quite over yet, but the end really is in sight. All of the right components are there for a happily-ever-after ending, but like everything in life, it’s all about timing. We hav
e two young girls to consider who have both been through so much already. It never was going to be simple, was it?’
‘No, but I doubt it could get any more complicated,’ Harrison mutters.
‘Daniel is a fighter and I’m a fighter, too. We can make this happen, Harrison, I really do believe that but I need to convince Daniel it can work, too. I know he has moments when it overwhelms him. He so badly wants to do what is right for Bella, Rosie and me. What worries me is that in the end he’ll decide we are better off without him in our lives.’
Harrison looks puzzled. ‘Why would he think that way?’
‘Because he genuinely cares about us and he can’t guarantee what his future will hold. Which is totally crazy as no one can do that, anyway. But it’s a nagging doubt in his head that won’t go away and I don’t know if he will give into it.’
Harrison extends his hand to cover my own and presses it gently. Sometimes there are no words to offer comfort and this is one of those moments.
The Heart Instinctively Knows When You’ve Found The One – Doesn’t It?
I didn’t make plans for this weekend because in all honesty I’m running on empty and it shows. The weeks of stress have taken a toll and what my mind and body needs now is a little rest.
Rosie seems to understand that I’m not quite my usual self and suggests I put my feet up, while she reads a book. Instead, I phone my neighbour, Naomi, to ask if she’ll do me a huge favour and take Rosie to Callie’s martial arts class this morning. When I break the news to Rosie she’s jubilant.
‘Aww, thanks Mum! What should I wear as I don’t have a uniform like Callie’s?’
Bless her, always practical.
‘It’s white, isn’t it?’
‘Yes.’
‘How about your white leggings and a plain white t–shirt? That way you’ll blend in. If you like it then we’ll get that uniform ordered ASAP.’
Rosie walks over to give me a hug and my heart constricts. I need to tell her about Antonio but I’m anxious about how she will take the news. After that, I’m hoping that I will be able to talk to her about Daniel in a meaningful way.
‘I really think I’m going to love doing this, Mum. Will you come with me next time?’
‘Of course, I will. I’m just a little tired today from the long trip yesterday, that’s all and I have a few boring things I have to do. I was thinking about ten pin bowling tomorrow, what do you think?’
‘Oh, that would be great, Mum!
Rosie charges off to change. When she reappears, she does a few kicks and arm movements reminiscent of the ninja turtles in action. They used to keep her glued to Nickelodeon and it makes me smile. But change is coming and somehow I have to start sowing the seed so that Rosie begins to think of life outside of her tight little circle.
‘Rosie, I know you love it here but what if we had a chance to make a fresh start somewhere new? Maybe closer to a town where there is more going on? There will be classes like this one and lots of other clubs to choose from. What do you think?’
She stops throwing herself around to stare at me with a pinched look.
‘We’d leave the forest and Grandma and Granddad?’
Before I can answer her the sound of a car horn announces the arrival of Naomi and Callie. Rosie is out the door in mere seconds, after giving me the briefest of kisses as she’s so excited.
Naomi opens the car window to call out.
‘Thought I’d take the girls out for lunch afterwards and back to mine for a film?’
‘Great, thank you. Is Callie up for ten pin bowling tomorrow and we’ll stop for lunch at the complex?’
‘Sounds good. Are you okay?’
I smile, shrugging my shoulders at the same time. ‘Ticking over. You know how it is.’ I feel jaded and wish I hadn’t tried to begin that conversation with Rosie just before she left. It was a stupid thing to do as I need to have her undivided attention.
The girls are fidgeting in their seats, eager to get off and I wave to them, pretty sure they’re too busy chatting to notice. At least Rosie doesn’t appear to be dwelling on what I said, so I breathe a sigh of relief.
Closing the door, the quiet almost hurts my ears. I’ve had a headache now for the best part of twenty-four hours and the first thing I need to do is to take some painkillers. It was a late one again last night, as I was online desperate to find out as much as I could about heart transplant surgery. Daniel must have been through hell and I so wish I’d been in his life then to help him through it all.
As with everything you read on the internet there are some conflicting views and statistics. I tried to keep to either medical websites, or accounts written by transplant recipients themselves. It helped to reassure me that the prognosis for a long and happy life is down to having regular checks, taking those tablets and leading a healthy lifestyle, just like Daniel told me. It’s a huge relief and made for interesting reading. It rammed home how important it is that people sign up to the NHS Organ Donation register. When a death results in one or more people’s lives being saved or made better, it’s a truly wonderful legacy to leave behind. I signed up immediately and berated myself for not having done it before. Because of one kind donor I now have the chance of spending the rest of my life with Daniel and for that I will be eternally grateful.
Armed with a page of notes from my online research, I go into the kitchen and pop the kettle on, then grab my phone and call Mum.
‘Hey, it’s only me. Rosie is out with Callie for most of the day and I wondered if you wanted to call round later. I can tell you all about the appointment with the solicitor yesterday. I’m sorry I couldn’t really say anything when I collected her last night but I was too tired to go into it, even if Rosie hadn’t been there.’
Mum tuts.
‘My poor, dear girl. I knew there was more to it than you were letting on. What time works best for you?’
‘I’m about to make an important phone call so give me an hour, maybe an hour and a half. That’s another thing I want to tell you about. I’m confident everything is going to be okay, so don’t go worrying about it but it will be a bit of a saga.’
‘At least you sound optimistic this morning, so I’ll take that as a very good sign. We’ll see you later then, honey.’
I add an extra half a spoonful of coffee granules, savouring the rich, almost bitter aroma as the hot water hits the mug. I’m going to need this, I reflect, as I sit at the table and dial Daniel’s number. It rings an agonising five times before he picks up.
‘Hi Leah, it’s good to hear your voice.’
A tingling sensation starts to rush around my body, increasing my rate of breathing. I have to focus on remaining calm and sounding bright and breezy. I can’t deny that I still feel a little tearful after what I read last night but it would be a big mistake to share that thought.
‘I’m missing you like crazy. It would all be so different if you were here. All of a sudden my body seems to be rebelling and I have a pounding headache.’
‘You’ve been under tremendous pressure, Leah. It’s time to relax a little now the worst is over.’ His voice is upbeat and I wish I could see his face.
‘I’m home alone as Rosie is out for a few hours. Have you talked to Bella yet, today?’
‘First thing. She’s okay. I can tell from your voice you aren’t your usual self. Is it just that headache or is it something in particular that’s worrying you?’
‘Sometime very soon I’m going to have to sit Rosie down and tell her that Antonio will be coming back into her life. I don’t know whether to tell her about us first.’
There’s a brief pause.
‘I feel bad it’s yet another thing you have to contend with but can’t it wait until I’m back and we can tell Rosie and Bella together?’ His voice reflects the anxiety he’s feeling and I know he longs to be here to support me.
I keep getting flashbacks; watching Daniel laugh as I re-took the photos in the National Gardens and feeling his arms around
me as we lay together on the bed.
‘I really hope and pray our girls will love the family unit we will become together, Daniel. But in order to attain that, one of us will have to be uprooted. As you already have an established job and I work from home, it makes sense for me to sell the cottage. The next part isn’t going to be easy for Rosie, or me, I will admit, but if I sit her down and start the conversation I can gauge her reaction and talk through any concerns she might have. Kids are pretty resilient and what we will be able to give them is a loving family environment. I just wanted to hear your voice before I start the dialogue. I also need to talk to my parents because I’ve rather kept them in the dark, too. I think they all know something major is happening and it feels wrong to pretend otherwise’
I have no idea how many seconds slip by, but it feels like forever before his voice breaks the silence.
‘Look, are you sure this is the best solution, Leah? Leaving the forest is only one of the options we’ve discussed and I don’t want you rushing into this and then regretting your decision.’
Is he having second thoughts as I’ve feared all along? Is that why he wants me to put off sitting down with Rosie?
‘But it’s the only one that really works and we both know that.’ My heart is heavy as I acknowledge what my gut instincts are telling me. It’s going to take time for this to sink in and for all of us to grow accustomed to the idea. With just over seven weeks until Daniel flies back I need to get that initial conversation out of the way, before we next meet up. I want our future to kick off on a high with everyone signed up and looking forward to welcoming Daniel and Bella into our lives.
‘You’re one strong lady, Leah, but I think it’s wrong to rush this. I feel useless being over here when I should be by your side but it’s not for much longer.’
A Greek Affair Page 27