“I shall see you on my return.”
After Graham left, Reese eased his aching muscles into the hot water. Steam billowed around him. He tipped his head over the rim of the tub, resting his arms on the edge. He didn’t know how long he lay there for. The water had long grown cold. The chill was nothing compared to the ice running through his veins. Each word he threw at Evelyn replayed over and over, stealing the warmth from his body.
As he felt remorse for his actions, he also grew more confident about how he could win Evelyn back. Ideas kept forming one after another. His newfound determination prompted him into action.
He finished bathing and dried off. Reese didn’t call for Kemp to dress him. He dressed in a leisurely fashion since he would remain at home this evening, making plans to win Evelyn’s heart. He slipped on trousers, leaving his feet bare, and pulled on a white chambray shirt over his head. It was one he wore when working with the horses. He saw no need to be uncomfortable in his own home. It wasn’t like there would be any visitors this evening. Also, he planned to make himself scarce if Graham persuaded Evelyn to return home. Reese owed her an apology, but he didn’t quite know how to humble himself at her feet.
Chapter Fifteen
Reese padded over to the adjoining door, peeled it open, and searched the bedroom to make sure Evelyn hadn’t returned. When he saw the bedroom empty, he opened the door wider and strode around the room. He inhaled the fragrance of Evelyn that perfumed the air.
He walked to the vanity and lifted a bottle of perfume to smell the sweet scent. His fingers ran over the hairbrush next to the variety of ribbons and hair bobs that lay in a neat line. He opened the lid to a small trinket and noticed it full of buttons. Reese trailed his fingers over the decorations and realized they were the buttons from her wedding nightgown that he had ripped from her body. Their wedding night was ingrained in his memory as the most pleasurable of encounters he had shared with Evelyn. He placed the trinket back on the vanity.
His steps took him to the divan where a book lay open. Reese sat down and started reading the page she had left off on. It was a book of poems. Not just any poems, but love poems. The opened page had a heart-wrenching piece about a love unrequited. The poet poured their emotions into words of a love freely given but never returned. Heartache leapt from the pages, causing Reese’s guilt to notch another ring higher. His eyes devoured the poem.
When he finished, he traced his fingers over the words as if he were trying to soothe their bruised edges. Evelyn had creased the top of the page to find it again. He knew she resonated with the passage. Every word written was the actions of a selfish bastard set on revenge to destroy the victim. The words described him. Reese wondered how to fix the mess he had created.
He kicked his legs up and settled amongst the cushions. His head rested on the nest of pillows and he turned on his side, flipping the pages of the book. Evelyn had dog-eared other pages. He read every poem that had touched her heart. Not every sonnet was of a tragic love never returned. No, there were others filled with love and hope. Evelyn even made notations on the pages, remarking on passages that held an impact on her.
A few hours later, Reese had more insight into how he could woo his wife. He would need to proceed with caution and treat her like the treasure she was.
Reese reached the end of the book and paused. There were a few pages filled with Evelyn’s hand. She’d dated the pages, starting with last December. As he started reading, Reese realized that Evelyn had used the back of the book as a journal, detailing her most intimate thoughts. He closed the book. He didn’t dare read her private memories. No. Reese debated with himself to drop the book and leave Evelyn’s room. He had taken so much away from her already. He had no business stealing what was only for Evelyn to cherish.
However, the weak side of him held all the strength. He made himself a promise. He would only read the passages to help him better understand how to proceed with his wife. And for no other reason. He wouldn’t use Evelyn’s words to help seduce her. No, that would be too devious.
Reese opened the book to the back and devoured every word Evelyn had written. His guilty conscience kept tugging at him to cease, but her words held him entranced to continue.
December 27th, 1821 ~ Before bed
The festivities continue and the air is lively. My family embraces the holiday season with gusto, each day more joyous than the last. We have a guest staying with us this year. He arrived the day after Christmas. Lucas’s friend from school, Lord Reese Worthington. I heard Lucas explain to Uncle Theo that Worthington needed a place to stay while he came to terms with his new standings. His father recently passed, and Worthington is now an earl. During dinner, Worthington kept drawing my eye. I felt a connection with him deep in my soul. The pain in his eyes reflected my own. I wish I could help ease whatever troubles him.
However, it would appear Charlie enlightened his heart. Their conversation at dinner made his eyes shine. He laughed at Charlie’s quirky sense of humor, and I watched him touch her hand. Not a friendly touch, but a stroke of seduction. I know I read too many romantic novels, but I saw the seductive caress of his finger slowly sliding on the edge of Charlie’s hand to the tip of her finger.
Of course, Charlie was oblivious to Worthington’s attention. Charlie kept rattling on about her horse, Sapphire. Which is probably why Charlie gained Worthington’s notice. He has his own breeding program and loves horses as much as Charlie, if not more.
After dinner, the atmosphere in the drawing room continued in the same manner. Worthington never strayed far from Charlie’s side. When we sang carols, he coaxed Charlie into singing a duet with him. Then, before we retired for the evening, he convinced Charlie to join Lucas and him on an early morning ride. Charlie needed no encouragement. Only Charlie grew frustrated when Sinclair said he would meet them too. Sinclair joined our family for dinner, like he does every week.
I should not laugh, but it was a comical affair to watch. Charlie kept growing more agitated with Sinclair. I wonder when Charlie and Sinclair will realize the attraction that sizzles between them. Oh, how I ache to experience that emotion with another. Would it singe immediately, or would it slowly burn into an inferno of passion out of control?
I think I will go to the library to find a book to read to take my mind off my twisted emotions. I feel off-center as if the universe is sending me toward a direction that I am unsure where to follow. A book will help to settle me, it always does.
DECEMBER 27TH, 1821 ~ After a visit to the library
Oh, my! Oh, my! If I thought I was unsettled before, I am a wreck now. I cannot believe I allowed myself to act so wantonly. But I could not help myself. His teasing nature, his gentle caress ... Oh, my! Not to mention the lightening effect of his lips as they pressed to mine. Not pressed. No, too tame of a word. Devoured. Yes, devoured is the correct term.
I should have left immediately. But when he drew me into his arms and settled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me in a tingling embrace, I became lost. Lost in love. Is it foolish to profess my love for him so soon? Love at first sight only exists in silly novels. It is not for real. However, I now know that to be false. I love Reese Worthington with all my heart. As his kisses continued, I only fell harder. He drew my sweetness inside of him, his gentle caresses awakened me from the fog I had existed in for so many years. His embrace wrapped me in a cocoon of security. I had finally found my home.
........
Or so I thought.
REESE GREW CONFUSED. She thought? What did that mean? His mind drifted back to that evening, recalling each of her memories with his own. He had been reading, trying to forget his troubles, when an angel appeared in the doorway dressed in a white nightgown with her hair tumbling around her shoulders in disarray. When she noticed him, she’d paused in her tracks, her mouth opening in surprise. A mouth that tugged at his insides. His throat had dried, and he sat spellbound at the beauty before him. Never had he experienced an attraction so strong. He w
ondered why he hadn’t felt it during dinner and afterwards singing with her. However, he didn’t stop to ponder why.
He’d strode to her side before she left and teased her about a kiss she had to grant him for interrupting him. Her blush grew, and she tried to back away. But Reese would have none of that. He had to kiss her. No, he needed a kiss like an addict needed a drug. Her petal-soft lips beckoned him closer. When she tipped her head up to meet his tease, he didn’t hesitate to take what she so freely offered. It was at that moment Reese lost himself. Lost to every emotion he thought he possessed. Her kiss knocked him senseless. He wanted more. No. Reese craved more. Her whispered sighs echoed in his soul. How would she sound when she moaned? Or when she screamed?
Reese discovered the husky moans that whispered past her lips. They were music to his ears. He had swept her on his lap, plying her with more kisses and gentle caresses. How he craved more, but if he continued, he knew he would take her innocence. As tempting of a package she was, he wasn’t able to offer for her hand. The last thing he needed was a bride.
So, Reese pushed his urges down and advised her to return to her bedroom before he ruined both of their lives. To remove himself from any further temptations, he left the next morning before anyone had risen. He would miss their ride in the morning, but he would never forget the taste of her lips, her intoxicating scent, or the softness of her touch against him.
Reese had left for London to appease his appetite with one of his mistresses. But when he paid them a visit, an innocent angel consumed his thoughts. He left Angelica and Barbara in a tiff at his inadequate attention, promising he would make it worth their while when he returned. However, he never did. Reese didn’t want to sully his memories of an innocent temptress with tawdry affairs. So, he returned home to his estate and worked to put his affairs in order. Perhaps if he became solvent, the Duke of Colebourne would grant him permission to court his ward. If not, then Reese planned to make her his any way he could.
Reese glanced back at the page, needing to appease his curiosity at why Evelyn had changed her mind about their tryst.
.... IT WAS A MAGICAL MOMENT when my heart broke free and embraced the spark of life. But the name he whispered was not my own. My fragile heart fell, flipping over and over and shattering into a million pieces. My Prince Charming, who awakened me with his kiss, did not kiss me, Evelyn Holbrooke. No, he kissed Charlotte Holbrooke, my sister. My twin. The word devastation now fills my soul.
“DAMN,” REESE GROWLED.
He tore his hand through his hair in frustration. Evelyn’s heartbreak leapt from the pages, tearing a rip in his heart. From their earliest connection, he had caused her pain and continued to do so today.
JANUARY 20TH, 1822
I need to forget him, but I cannot. Every night when I close my eyes and drift to sleep, he comes to me in my dreams, coaxing away more kisses. I think I could handle these thoughts if they were only in my dreams. But they happen throughout the day at the most inappropriate times. At breakfast, at lunch, at dinner. How am I am supposed to carry a conversation when I forget what I am talking about?
Grhh.
FEBRUARY 25TH, 1822
Lord Reese Worthington
Lady Evelyn Worthington
Countess Evelyn Worthington
Lord and Lady Worthington
REESE’S SMILE GREW wide at Evelyn’s wishes.
MARCH 15TH, 1822
Uncle Theo surprised the family at dinner with an announcement. He decided to give all of us girls a London season. I tried to hold back my excitement at this news, but it proved to be too difficult. With a season, it will give me a chance to see Lord Worthington. When we arrive in town, we will surely receive invitations to the same balls and entertainments. It will be my chance to charm him. I know I will have to break free from my shyness, but for him I will.
Not everyone holds the same excitement, though. Abigail snuck away at the first opportunity. I can understand why, but still it bothered me. However, Uncle Theo made it very clear that Abigail is to join us in the festivities. In the morning, I shall talk with her to help ease her worries.
Charlie, on the other hand, is furious with Uncle Theo’s plans. She sees no reason for a season. Charlie does not want a husband. She is perfectly content with the horses. Nor does she need a season, in my opinion. Once Jasper Sinclair realizes the depths of his emotions for Charlie, my sister will not have to endure the upcoming season.
Jacqueline has kept her joy at a minimum. I think she will enjoy London, but I worry that she is very set in her ways and the man that captures her heart will have to be a resourceful gentleman to keep Jacqueline on her toes. However, Gemma shares my enthusiasm for our adventure. We poured over the fashion plates all evening and made plans on the sights we want to visit upon our arrival. I cannot wait.
APRIL 1ST, 1822
I might not have to wait for the London season after all. Uncle Theo has arranged a house party in our honor. He has invited many eligible bachelors as his guests, plus a few debutantes he thinks we will form friendships with. I hope Lord Worthington is one of the guests. I cannot wait.
Aunt Susanna is coming to help us learn how to organize such an event. I have missed her tremendously. She is so comforting. How I wish I could confide in her and ask for advice. But I cannot. I must keep my secret, for I do not wish for Uncle Theo to become involved. I love him dearly, but he can be a bit high-handed in granting each of us our greatest wishes. I do not want Lord Worthington to feel forced to offer for my hand. No. I wish for him to realize that he cannot live without me, and he will do anything to make me his. Is this a foolish wish?
APRIL 10TH, 1822
He is coming. Lord Worthington will be a guest at the house party. I cannot contain the thrill coursing through my veins. Gemma pilfered the guest list, made a copy, and returned it before Uncle Theo realized it was missing. The list contained gentlemen’s names with the date of the house party written on top. Next to each gentleman’s name was a notation written in code. I am sure each code holds a meaning. But I do not care. The only thing I care about is that he will arrive in five days and stay for an entire week. Can I make him fall in love with me in such a short time?
APRIL 15TH, 1822
He has arrived. It has been over four months since I saw him last. The old saying about time making the heart grow fonder pales compared to the emotions rushing through me. He has only grown more handsome and charming. However, he still has a look of sadness in his gaze. Not only sadness, but also a hint of desperation. I want to soothe them away and replace them with happiness. I had hoped to have a chance after dinner to speak with him, but Lord Sinclair asked me to walk with him instead. I wanted to refuse, but knew I could not.
After we returned from our walk, Worthington was no longer in the drawing room. Neither was Charlie. I wondered if Lord Worthington coaxed Charlie away. But when I returned to our bedroom, Charlie was fast asleep. I cannot even describe the sense of relief I felt at seeing her lying in her bed, snoring away, oblivious to my state of mind. My greatest fear is that Charlie finds Worthington a worthy fellow. Her frustration with Sinclair has been more than obvious. If Worthington paid Charlie any attention, will my sister turn her regards to him? They share the same interests. They both love the outdoors and horseflesh. I pray not. Tomorrow, I promise myself I will attempt to draw his notice.
APRIL 16TH, 1822
I cannot stop my shaking. I want to burst into a song about my joyous emotions. This day could not have passed by more fabulous. I hope it does so again tomorrow.
After I confided in Charlie about my feelings for Worthington, we concocted a plan for him to take notice. Now that I sit and write this, the full justification of our actions settles in my gut. The deception gnaws at my conscience, begging for me to be honest. But I cannot. I worry Worthington will find me not to his liking.
Aunt Susanna paired Charlie with Worthington for the afternoon entertainment of pall-mall, but we switched places. When we wer
e younger, we performed this act many times, fooling our loved ones. We had not done so in years. However, the temptation was too strong. We excused ourselves and switched clothing. Worthington held no clue it was I who was his partner for the afternoon.
Throughout the game, he charmed me with his charismatic humor, teased me with his flirtation, and placed gentle touches when no one watched. If I did not love him before, I fear I fell harder today. My memories keep replaying every memory of our time together. I cannot even sleep this night. I am excited for tomorrow when I can be in his company once again. Tomorrow, please hurry.
APRIL 19TH, 1822
I feel my dreams slipping slowly away with each passing day. I am no closer to having Worthington fall in love with me than the day before. When he stole me away to steal kisses, I thought I had made progress. But when we are in the presence of others, Worthington ignores me. He even appears irritated with my company. His persistence to have Charlie notice him hurts deeply. I know in my heart that Charlie holds no feelings for Worthington, but it still does not stop the jealousy clawing away at my shredded emotions.
I thought I had finally gotten through to him when I touched his hand as we waited for Aunt Susanna to announce the afternoon festivities. The rain kept us inside the past two days and the gentlemen grew restless. I suffer from the same inflection. After I touched him, Worthington stopped focusing on Charlie and directed his attention toward me. I broke free from my shyness and talked with him. I talked to him as Evelyn, not under the cover of Charlie. And I saw the interest sparkle in his eyes, if only for a moment. It was there. I did not imagine it.
How the Earl Fell for His Countess (Matchmaking Madness Book 2) Page 14