Rafferty (Default Distraction Book 2)

by A. S. Roberts

  I turned on the balls of my feet to face her as I concentrated on exactly what it was she wanted to say. I found her with her arms wrapped around her body as if to offer herself comfort.

  ‘Once she thought the sun rose and set in you. If she could have chosen any boy in the whole wide world, you know damn well she would have chosen you. I love that you’re back, Raff, but the reasons you gave me for being here, well they worry me. You nearly broke her in two, but somehow she survived. She’s more than just my friend, I love her like a sister. I love her like I love you. I… I don’t honestly believe she’d survive you leaving her again.’ I watched as Winter wiped her fingers across her cheeks to remove a few tears that had fallen. ‘I think after all these years you need to accept that it’s all in the past, and leave it as a distant memory that can then hopefully fade.’

  I looked down at the floor and stubbed the toe of my Dr. Martens onto the slate. ‘I appreciate your love and concern for her, Winter. But the life I’ve had over the last few years has opened my eyes to what I really need from life.’

  ‘Are you telling me you still love Lauren?’ she questioned me with a hardness to her voice.

  ‘No, I’m not saying that at all. All I want is to…’ I struggled to provide a definitive answer. ‘All I want is to mend a few bridges, so we can all move forward. Okay? Happy now?’

  For a few seconds she stared at me, as if she was trying to read between the lines. I raised an eyebrow at her in question.

  ‘Mend a few bridges?’ she quietly questioned. ‘I can understand that needs doing with Mum and Dad, but with Lauren?’

  ‘Yes, with Lauren.’ I crossed my arms over my chest. ‘She’s not married, is she?’ She confirmed what I already knew by shaking her head.

  ‘So, what if we need to sort out all the crap that happened between us? And I didn’t even try to put things right.’

  I watched her offer me a sad, resigned sort of grimace. ‘What if you should have thought about that years ago?’

  ‘I have thought of it, more than once a day, every single day, every fucking month and every lonely year, since the day I left her.’

  I walked towards her and gathered her up into my arms, the way a big brother should always be able to do for his little sister. I had so fucking much to make up for and I knew it. I had promised myself that I would spend the rest of my life trying to make things right, as long as those I loved were willing to let me.

  After a few seconds, I leant back, kissed the top of her blonde hair and released her from my hold. Stepping away from her I turned around once again to face the door. ‘See ya in the meeting.’

  ‘Yes, see you there,’ she replied. ‘Oh, Raff.’ Her voice rose in volume. ‘Before you go. Did Flint get on the plane?’

  ‘I’ll tell you later when you morph back into my sister and not some holier than thou events planner.’ I gave her amused but indignant looking face a quick wink and a smile, before I retreated to the safety of the other side of the aluminium door, as once again it swung shut behind me.

  I drove down the lane, looking from left to right and taking in all the Christmas lights twinkling through the snow bespattered windows of the houses. Slowly, I pulled up across the road from my nan’s shop and switched off the engine. Opening the car door was difficult as the winter winds were so strong. I pulled my hood up over my head and ran across the narrow lane. With relief, I pushed open the door and heard the welcoming ring of the antiquated bell.

  ‘Bloody hell… It’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey,’ I exclaimed as I walked through my nan’s shop doorway with my eyes searching for my cousin Amy.

  Unfortunately, I then heard the glass panes rattle in their rotten, wooden frames. The door had slammed behind me, as it caught on the cold gust of wind that was blowing up a storm in the lane outside. I closed my eyes and clenched my fists, waiting for the glass to fall out and shatter onto the floor behind me. It was the last thing my cousin needed, coping with our nan and trying to run a shop that had been my nan’s life’s work was more than enough for one person and I didn’t want to add to her ever-growing list of woes. Luckily, the smash of glass never came and I let out the breath I was holding.

  ‘Whoops! Sorry, Amy! That was close, wasn’t it?’ I offered her a grimace.

  She sighed and hurriedly finished tidying away the pieces of scrapbooking papers she had in her hand. I watched her close the well-worn wooden drawer, by lifting the brass cup handle and sliding the wood back into place at the right angle. Then she jumped down backwards off the steps, holding tightly to the long pole that served as a handle. As her feet found the ground, I watched as she became lost in thought for a few moments. She was a beauty, my cousin. With her thick chestnut brown hair and her dark eyes, I couldn’t believe some man hadn’t found her, fallen for the amazing person she was and refused to let her go.

  I looked away, not wanting her to see me appraising her, and allowed my eyes to wander around my second home. My nan’s shop would be somewhere I would always find comfort and solace. “A Stitch in Time” had diversified several times over in the last ten years and it no longer just sold haberdashery items. If you had a need for it in your life, then one of the sectioned glass counters, or one of the many different sized wooden drawers that were built floor to ceiling along the walls of the shop, probably contained it. The only problem was people didn’t seem to need places like this anymore. Let’s face it, all you had to do was search online and with one click you could have almost anything delivered to your door. I knew what Amy was trying to do and I loved her so much for it, but trying to save our nan’s shop was, I was saddened to admit, futile.

  I jumped up to sit in my favourite place in the shop. It was the same spot I had been sitting since I had been tall enough to push myself onto the counter that ran down one of the side walls. It had been my favourite spot, because it had made me tall enough to see everything that was going on in the small but perfectly laid out space. I used to love to watch my nan with her customers, it all came so naturally to her. She would listen intently at the things they said they needed and when she didn’t have quite what they were looking for she would find them something else. Then, in clever conversation, she would convince them it was better than what they had originally wanted. She would look up at me, sat here watching her and taking it all in, and offer me a small smile. Her customer service was something I had been adamant would be offered in my tearoom, The Fairy Garden. Whatever generation, we all yearn to be looked after properly and I was sure that was why my business went from strength to strength while others crashed and burnt.

  Nan was an amazing lady and here in this tired and, it had to be said, somewhat tatty space, I would always feel close to her. Even now, when she was away for respite care at our local care home, I could feel her in the shop with us. Her blood, sweat and tears had been poured into the place. In doing so, she had left some of her soul and compassion rubbed deep into the wood grains that made up her home.

  Lots of important events in our lives had happened here. My dad had proposed to my mum in here. Amy had been dropped off here with our nan as her mum left for a new life in America. My brother Mark had been benched during a football match and had punched through one of the glass counters in temper as a teenager – Nan had torn him off a strip or two, then calmed him down and patched him up. When my world had fallen apart when Raff had left me, she had offered me her crisp, white hanky from the pocket of her apron and spent many hours talking me through my pain. I often went over the words she had said to me then.

  “Sometimes I think we meet the right person at the wrong time. In my experience, some people need to be with the wrong person to realise what they once had. Only after fighting, failing and with their heart bleeding in pain, can they look back and appreciate what they had, but let go. If two people are meant to be together, call me old-fashioned, but I believe that love will always find a way.”

  I looked down at my hands holding the thick, wooden edg
ing and smiled at the memories. Our nan had long since given up asking me to not sit on the ancient counter. I let go of my reminiscences and looked up at Amy again, who also seemed to be in a world of her own.

  ‘Earth to Amy, I have news!’ I spoke loudly attempting to get her attention.

  I watched her sigh and then shake her head as she came out of her daydreaming. As her eyes found mine she offered me a huge grin.

  ‘Where did you go to?’ I teased her and smiled at her reaction.

  She shook her head at me. ‘It doesn’t matter. Come on then, spill it,’ she said and returned my smile.

  ‘I need your full attention before I do,’ I stated and I pointed towards the opposite counter, wanting her to jump up onto it and sit down.

  First, she walked towards the door, shot the bolt across and turned the sign to closed. Her hand hovered for a few seconds over the fairy lights that decorated the main window. I knew she was looking for a reason to leave them on. The pretty coloured lights gave the run-down shop an extra Christmas sparkle and showed all the handmade items our nan had made. She walked back, having decided to leave them on.

  ‘Well?’ she questioned as she crossed her arms over her chest.

  ‘Ok, you’re going to be shocked at what I’m about to say, but before you go off on one, please understand that I. Have. Thought. About. It.’ I looked down at my hands and realised I was trying to placate her with them as I spoke.

  ‘Go on then,’ she probed and I watched her brow furrow.

  ‘Okay, you know that group, band, whatever they are… that have been doing up Falham Manor for the last couple of years?’

  Her eyes opened as wide as I had ever seen them, almost perfect circles were staring back at me in wonderment. At last, her mouth opened to reply, ‘Of course, I do live here too, you know… and it’s Raff’s band. They’re called Default Distraction,’ she answered, shaking her head at me.

  ‘Well… Winter called me a few hours ago and she needs my help with their opening day.’ She didn’t say anything, I could feel her staring at me as she tried to work out what the hell was going on. I started to tap the wooden surface underneath me with my fingernails in agitation. It felt like minutes before she spoke again.

  ‘She needs your help with what?’ Her tone was understandably one of concern. I had known she would react like this, knowing the history between me and Winter’s older brother, Rafferty.

  ‘Half of her chefs have come down with some sort of lurgy. You know the shit and vomit sort of lurgy. They can’t go near the kitchen, let alone the food. She needs help preparing the food for the big open event they’re having on Sunday.’

  I watched her taking in what I had just imparted to her.

  I could almost read the thoughts in her head.

  A few years ago, I had opened a beautiful tearoom in the old coach houses of Falham Manor. They had been sold with most of the other out buildings of The Manor itself. The Fairy Garden was doing astonishingly well. The risk of opening my own business had been daunting, but the hard work and the success of the place had somehow helped to heal some of the pain I had been carrying around for years.

  We should have known then, with the sale of the outbuildings, that The Manor was also in trouble and would eventually have to be sold, too. It was happening throughout the country when upper-class families no longer had the money to sustain their substantial properties. It had been a shock however when we had learnt, via Winter, that The Manor had been bought by Default Distraction.

  Slowly, I had mulled it over and realised that although they may have bought the building, there was no way in hell they were likely to ever see the inside of the place. They probably owned real estate all over the world. The reasoning in my head had helped to calm the panic attacks that had been reawakened by the news.

  Then, all of a sudden, I was receiving information from other villagers. They’d seen Rafferty, he was back for a week to oversee the renovations and imparted just how good he looked. Then the questions started.

  “Have you seen him?”

  “Do you know why he’s back?”

  “What are they going to do with the old place?”

  When I’d replied, “No, I haven’t seen him and I didn’t know,” to most of their questions, they would then look at me in sympathy or sometimes, even worse, in pity. Often, they replied how it was such a shame we had lost touch with each other, and what an ideal couple we’d made when we were younger, then they’d add at the end “Never mind, that was years ago, you’ve both moved on since then.” The conversation was often over after that and they’d say their goodbyes and leave me with my thoughts. He had most definitely moved on, but I was devastated to admit that I wasn’t so sure about me.

  Winter began to subtly warn me when he would next be back and I often managed to take myself away for a few days.

  Amy shook her head at me. ‘I can’t believe Winter would ask you. I mean, I know you’re a superb cook and are probably the very best person to help her. But, let’s face facts, you’ve been steering clear of the actual Manor house for the whole of the time they’ve been doing it up… I’m sorry, Lauren, but we both know why, don’t we?’ I could feel my eyes filling with tears at her words. The pain he had left in my heart came pounding back. I refused to let the tears spill and I swallowed down the tight constriction that was building in my throat.

  ‘I know, but she’s our friend and she needs help. I’ve decided I need to do this and I need to show…’

  ‘What?’ she interrupted. ‘You need to show Raff that you no longer care, is that it? And if it is…Why? Why would you put yourself through that?’ I could hear the concern in her voice as she pleaded with me to rethink my decision.

  I shook my head at my words. ‘No, you’re wrong. I really need to show myself, once and for all, that I’ve moved on.’ I crossed my arms over the top of my thick cream jumper.

  I was doing this with or without her emotional backing.

  ‘What does Toby say?’ I felt my face react at the mention of my boyfriend’s name. Our relationship was only a few months old, but I already knew how he would react to my news and that concerned me.

  ‘I haven’t told him yet… It’s my business, not his.’ I heard Amy sigh as she realised she’d made me feel uncomfortable.

  ‘Forget I said anything,’ she added as she pushed herself away from the counter she had been leaning on. She walked the few steps across to where I sat. As she arrived next to me she took hold of my left hand in both of hers and gripped it tightly.

  ‘Look, take no notice of me. What do I know? I may have been married once, albeit for a short time, but I know that I’ve never really been in love, ever. As you know, I’m not sure it even really exists… well not for the likes of people like me.’ She shrugged her shoulders attempting to drive her point home. ‘As well as poor romantic decisions, I am also the queen of making appalling business decisions… instead of taking the opportunity of a lifetime when you wanted me to go into business with you, I stayed here to run Nan’s shop, thinking my business degree would turn a failing business into a thriving one. So, what the heck do I know?’ She turned her head to the side to look at me. I knew she was attempting to convince me of what she was saying and I appreciated her trying.

  I snapped myself out of my thoughts and managed a small grin at her.

  ‘Oh, come on! You never thought that Nan’s shop would get any better, even you’re not that stupid,’ I laughed, relieved that the fraught few minutes between us seemed to have passed.

  ‘Oi! You cheeky bugger. I could go off you, you know,’ she retorted.

  ‘No, you’re stuck with me. We both know the reason you stayed here at the shop. It was for love, not for any business reason.’

  ‘Yeah, you’re right, that’s the sort of love I do believe in.’ She smiled in acceptance at my words.

  ‘And what do you mean, people like you? Love can be just around the corner for us all, just waiting for our right moment to meet the
right person.’

  She shrugged her shoulders at me. It was a long-standing argument between us. I still believed in love, even after losing Raff. Even though I was the only one between us to have had my heart shattered into a million pieces, I wanted to experience that love again, it was addictive. I wanted to believe in the happy ever after.

  ‘So, let me ask you… Are you helping Winter for business reasons, or for love?’

  ‘Definitely business,’ I answered adamantly.

  ‘Then if you need my help, I’m all yours. I know it may surprise you, but I could do with the extra money.’ She knocked her shoulder against mine.

  ‘Pack a bag then, you’re moving up to The Manor,’ I added.

  ‘God, they won’t know what’s hit them. With the two Harper girls and Winter Davenport in the same place at the same time,’ she laughed.

  Still holding hands, we separately contemplated what the next few days were going to mean for us. I knew how many hours the three of us were going to have to put in to achieve everything that needed to be done. However, it wasn’t the hard work that scared me, but the thought that after all the hurt and pain I’d suffered and the grieving I’d gone through when he pushed me away and left me behind, despite my many avoidance tactics over the last few years, sometime this weekend I would with absolute certainty be seeing Raff.

  I heard Amy’s footsteps as she came down the wrought iron staircase, situated on the outside of the building. The stairs were the only entrance to my spare bedroom. I glanced around the kitchen and knew she was going to be able to see right through me as soon as she walked in. Ignoring the heavily laden surfaces, I put my head down and carried on creating the pastries and cakes that would be required today for The Fairy Garden.

  We’d had a fantastic girlie evening last night and probably let our hair down a little too much. I had realised quite early on into our evening, that it didn’t matter how much alcohol I was consuming, my body was churning around too much adrenalin for me to get drunk. My blood sugar wasn’t good when I’d tested it after they had left to go to their beds. I knew that having had no sleep at all last night, wasn’t going to help matters either. I hadn’t tested again so far this morning and wasn’t going to until I had time to sit down and eat properly.