I pressed my lips back to hers. Gently and with as much love and tenderness as I could find, I kissed at her smile.
My eyes snapped open as my mobile began to vibrate in the back pocket of my jeans. I ignored it and closed them again. I knew she’d heard the noise the moment her body began to tense up and she broke her mouth from mine.
‘Your phone?’
‘Mmmm hmmm,’ I mumbled onto her skin as I began to nip at her jaw bone.
‘Perhaps you should answer it?’
‘Nah.’
‘What if it’s Flint?’
With those words, I came out of the thick air of lust around us and lifting my head I refocussed on the almost naked woman in my arms. Given a few more minutes, my semi-erect dick would have completely awakened and I’d have happily been pounding into her again. Her eyes sparkled as she questioned me and I knew she was thinking the exact same thoughts.
‘Okay.’ I reached into my back pocket and pulled the phone out.
Taking a quick look, I saw Winter’s name flash over the screen as it pulsed in my hand. I used my thumb to swipe to answer and almost growled with anger into the phone.
‘You’ve gotta be fucking joking me, Winter.’ I spoke with annoyance in my tone. ‘This better be important.’
‘We can’t find Amy. Lauren and I left her asleep on the settee when we came to watch you play and now she’s missing.’
I was about to answer that she’d probably gone home without them when she spoke again.
‘She’s really drunk, I’m worried about her.’
Lauren heard every word Winter said and her eyes gradually opened wider in concern as she pushed me away from her.
‘We’re coming, give us five.’
I stepped back and lowered her to the ground. I quickly put my dick back into my jeans and buttoned up the fly. Then placing my open palms on the now empty wall in front of me, I inhaled deeply to bring myself back. All at once she was picking her hastily dropped jeans and knickers off the floor and forcing her legs hastily into them.
‘Thank you, I need to go,’ she whispered. From the corner of my eye I watched as she zipped up her jeans, wiggled her feet into her Converse and pulled her top back up.
‘I know,’ I offered. ‘Fuck it.’ Resigned to the interruption, I pushed myself off the wall and stood in front of her, watching as she tried to tidy herself up, getting more amused the longer it went on for.
I smiled and offered her my hand. ‘You look sensational. You know you can brush yourself down and realign your creased clothing as much as you want. But nothing will remove the flush in your cheeks, your nipples pushing through your top as they cry out for more of my attention and the fact you look like I’ve fucked you… nothing.’ I smiled at her as she took hold of my offered hand. I brought it up to my mouth and brushed my lips over her knuckles to hear her gasp once again. Then the boy inside me took over, breathing in sharply I plunged her hand inside my jeans and used it to straighten my dick out. My eyebrows lifted and waggled at her in amusement.
Automatically, her hand instinctively held me, moving as I directed her. Her eyes grew wider the more she touched. It took all I had not to change my mind about helping to look for her cousin. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes as I exhaled. Once I was sorted, I could feel her touching the metal work that although wasn’t new to me, certainly was to her. Her eyes began to question mine and I breathed in again to pull her inquisitive fingertips out from my jeans.
‘Oh, my God.’ She looked at me in shock and amusement. ‘What was that?’
‘Later,’ I answered, winking at her and her thoughtful expression. It took all I had not to laugh at her furrowed brow.
‘I can’t believe you did that. Tell me, you didn’t just do that?’
Not releasing her hand, I lifted it up in mine, turned her around in my hold and with my arm loose over her shoulder, I began to walk us back down the corridor to find my sister.
‘Oh, yeah… I did.’ I glanced down at her as we walked and as she looked up at me, I gave her a quick wink. I watched her roll her lips inside her teeth as she smiled and her eyes opened wider at me as she began to shake her head a little from side to side. She was no fucking innocent and I loved it.
‘I’ve been waiting for years to feel your hands on me and I couldn’t wait any longer. I’m annoyed at the interruption, but the anticipation of what’s going to come tonight will keep me going.’
I turned and moved quickly in front of her, stopping her progression back to the others. With my spare hand, I placed my thumb and index finger under her chin and lifted her still dilated pupils to meet mine. Slowly, I twisted and lowered my mouth to hers, unable to go another moment without feeling her compliancy under my lips. Then I stood back up and looked at her as I gathered her into my arms.
‘I can’t fucking wait for them all to see that you are and have always been mine.’
She stood on tiptoe and brushed a quick kiss to my lips and then removing herself from my hold, she grabbed me by the hand and led me back down the corridor. ‘Come on, I need to find Amy and then you need to take me to wherever the hell we were off to before we got waylaid.’
‘Waylaid? Mmmm, it’s my new favourite word. Be prepared to be waylaid often.’ I nodded my head and laughed as I replied.
My mind was still full of the fact that after us all searching high and low for a drunk and missing Amy, we’d realised that she wasn’t actually missing at all. Cade remembered seeing Brody wander off into the room we’d left her in. When Luke had knocked on his door, and entered with permission into Brody’s room, he had found Amy being lovingly cared for by the lead singer of Default Distraction.
Apparently, he’d found her drunk and decided she needed his help. He’d held her hair while she was sick and then tucked her up in his bed, while he sat and watched her.
I had wondered what Winter was on to earlier as us three girls had sipped on the Champagne together, and now it all made sense. She’d put two and two together and worked out who the mysterious Daniel was.
He was Brody Daniels, lead singer of Default Distraction.
A wave of worry washed over me. I wasn’t proud of myself for leaving Amy by herself. Although in our defence she had been comfortable and asleep, and I knew we hadn’t been gone long. But far worse, we had left her in the care of the man she thought was called Daniel, when he wasn’t.
I knew the shit was sure to hit the fan on that one, but that was another story.
I touched the cold glass with my fingertips and looked out of the window at the white world and the starry, black night sky that surrounded us. The snow-covered land around us made me feel blanketed and protected. It was a welcome feeling, as my whole world had begun to feel like it’s very semblance was cracking under the strain of all the unconscious and unrealistic demands I had placed on myself.
If someone had told me last week that I would be here with Raff, having let him kiss and touch me to the point of then having sex with him in a hallway, I’d have told them that they were delusional.
But here I was, sitting down low in one of his expensive sports cars, as he drove me home. In the warmth of the car I could smell sex on my skin and I could feel his semen soaking my already damp knickers. That was all the proof I needed that I hadn’t been dreaming.
I looked down to the side where our hands were clasped together as Raff carefully drove us the short way up the drive, away from The Manor and back to my small flat above The Fairy Garden. His thumb rubbed over the back of my hand and shockwaves from that simple touch entered my system and travelled all the way to my core, where the dull ache of lust had spontaneously reignited again.
The car was quiet, the only thing I could hear was the whirring of both of our minds as we tried to unravel the years of hurt between us. I wasn’t sure how he felt, but I was struggling. My heart jolted hearing the recognisable sound of a small patch of exposed gravel, it crunched under his wheels as we entered the area of the outbuildings.
‘Okay, I see it,’ he replied.
As Raff leant further over his steering wheel, as he contemplated navigating his beloved car through the small opening in the light of the one orange lamp, and his hand left mine. I immediately felt a sense of grief at the loss of his touch. I pulled my now cold hand into my lap and pushed it down in between my legs.
Finally, we pulled up outside my tearooms.
Raff switched off the engine and adjusting his large frame as much as he could in the small interior of the car, he turned his body sideways to look at me.
‘Can I come in?’ he asked, as he tentatively reached out one hand. With his fingers, he pushed my long hair away from the side of my face and placed it behind my shoulder. I could now feel the strength of his eyes imploring me as he stared at the side of my face.
The words he asked, just about summed up the atmosphere that had wrapped its very unwelcome presence around the two of us. The passion we had felt earlier was still there in the background, but having to put it on hold to search for Amy had allowed the previous hurt to seep into our heads. It didn’t matter how unwelcome it was, it had taken hold and I could tell we were both having difficulty shaking it off.
His warm knuckles grazed over my cheekbone and at his touch I summoned the courage to turn to look at him and face my fears head on.
I nodded at him and at last I found the nerve to bring my eyes up to meet his.
‘Don’t ever let me down again, Raff.’ I watched him nod at me resolutely and I grabbed at the edges of the biker jacket he’d thrown on top of his now buttoned up, white shirt. I pulled his face to mine so I could press my lips to his. I wanted the connection between us to remind me why I needed to take a chance on him. His mouth found mine as he captured my lips with his, and between us we tried hard to erase the growing sense of unease.
‘I won’t,’ he answered as he pulled away and leant his forehead momentarily against mine. I heard the creak of his jacket brushing against the leather interior, as he shifted the whole of his body awkwardly across the centre console to wrap me into his tight hold. He pushed the weight of his body into mine and pressed his mouth fleetingly back to my lips.
As he began to relax back into his seat and the fraught atmosphere returned, I wordlessly got out of the car and waited for him to catch up. Once he was out, I moved towards the stairs that led up to my flat and began to climb them slowly, hoping that he would follow my lead. I was taking him into my inner sanctum, no one apart from the girls ever got to stay here. My little flat was my everything. I’d designed it, so that it offered me everything I hadn’t yet been able to find in another human being. When I needed solace, it wrapped its warmth around me in consolation. When I needed to escape, I came up here and closed its doors on the sometimes unrelenting world. When I was unwell, it offered me comfort and helped me to get better.
I was wordlessly inviting him up and knew I was opening up the whole of my heart by doing so. I wouldn’t survive him leaving me again.
Of that, I was convinced.
The instant I heard his heavy boots clang behind me, my body relaxed and quietened. My pulse that had been beating a loud drum in my ear receded and the prickle of my anxiety fell away. Somehow our lives had been guided to this point, I didn’t know how or why, but for the first time in as long as I could remember I felt at peace, knowing he was following my every step.
I placed my key to the door lock and tried hard to make it find its way home, but as my body began to shake with the cold and emotion I couldn’t guide it to where it needed to be.
Raff’s feet found the deeper top step behind me. I looked down and could see his black boots either side of my Converse as we stood there, my back to his front. His body moulded itself to mine and I felt the warmth of him begin to seep through my clothing. His left arm wrapped itself around my waist and his right grabbed hold of my shaking hand.
‘Let me help, Lauren?’
I nodded in reply and swallowed at the trapped emotional knot in the back of my throat. His hand gripped mine and together we found the barrel of the lock. I knew the significance wasn’t lost on him as I heard him sniff in my ear as the lock gave way and the door opened wide.
The warm air hit the bare skin of my face and shoulders as I stepped inside and slipped off the thick wrap I’d been wearing. I heard Raff close the door behind us and then I felt him stall on the door mat. I turned on the subdued lighting in the flat and watched as my place of comfort sprung to life.
‘If you’re staying with me, then drop the dead bolt.’ My voice sounded far more confident than I felt.
Unknowingly I froze in place, awaiting the noise I desperately wanted to hear. As the metal dropped into place almost instantaneously after I’d spoken, I exhaled and closed my eyes as I prepared myself for what I needed to do next.
I walked away from the doorway and Raff and into the small kitchen that was in one of the corners of my large, open-plan living space. Going to the sink, I washed my hands, then pulled open the fridge door and took out a small glass bottle, which I placed onto the side. Opening a drawer, I pulled out one of my glucose monitors, unzipped the case and turned it on. Still without turning to look at Raff, I picked up a lancet and clicked the hand-held device into my left index finger. I then squeezed a droplet of blood to the surface and placed it onto the waiting glucose monitor. I could feel him behind me taking in everything that was going on, but without saying anything I carried on. I opened another cupboard, dropped the lancet into the yellow sharps box and then looked at the reading on the screen in front of me.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and opened the app I needed to check my daily readings. When it displayed my level I refused to show my concern, I simply took out a syringe and holding the glass bottle upside down I drew out the correct amount of insulin. Then I unceremoniously dropped my jeans, squeezed the top of my thigh and pushed the needle home into the layer of fat at the top of my leg. I knew I had to start doing better with managing my disease, but until now I hadn’t felt the need to acknowledge let alone manage it.
Finally, I dropped the needle into the same yellow box, put away all the equipment I had used and washed my hands again.
I pulled my jeans back up and glanced over my shoulder at Raff.
I knew if I found any hesitancy whatsoever, then whatever had come to pass between us the last few hours would have to be forgotten.
‘So, do you still want to stay, Raff?’ I spun around to face him fully. He was leaning his backside on the back of my large settee.
His eyes came to find mine as he twisted his head in question at my words and I watched his arms cross over his chest. ‘Yes, I want to stay, Lauren.’
‘After what you’ve just seen?’ I questioned him again and watched every expression on his face to get my answer. ‘Diabetes controls my life, are you sure you understand that?’
‘Your illness makes no difference to how I feel about you, Loz.’
I saw no hesitancy in his face at all and took a couple of steps towards him. ‘You couldn’t handle it all those years ago, are you sure you can now? Diabetes doesn’t go away, not my type anyway. I have to test several times a day, I have to eat when I’m not hungry, and sometimes when I’m starving I can’t eat at all because my blood sugar isn’t at the right level.’
His left hand came up and swept his hair away from his eyes, it was as if he wanted me to see him more clearly as he spoke. ‘I was scared, Loz. I’ll admit it… When you first got ill, I was shit scared. I didn’t know what to do for the best and I know I waited far too long before we took you to the emergency room. But, I didn’t leave you with your parents because you were ill, it wasn’t the diabetes that made me leave you in Vegas.’ He was shaking his head slowly at me waiting for his words to reach me.
‘It wasn’t? So, was it because you wanted to
be with Ashley?’ I wasn’t sure which was worse, to be left for another girl or left because you were ill. My heart was pounding in my chest and my hands began to sweat as I waited to be put out of my misery.
‘Fuck no!’ he spat out into the air and believing his response I exhaled a shaky breath. ‘I knew what you’d started to think, I can still see the looks you used to give me when she hung around us and touched me when she was speaking to us all. And, I know… I know I was a horny teenager and wrongly lapped up the attention. But, I can categorically say, I had no intention of ever fucking her, no matter how hard she fucking tried to coerce me to.’
My head was a whirlwind. ‘Then why did you leave me, Raff?’
He crossed the few steps in between us to reach me and crouched down so we were at the same eye level. His hands found the back of my arms and he held me gently but firmly in his grasp.
‘Don’t you see?’
I shook my head at him. ‘No,’ I implored.
‘We were in the U.S. It wasn’t good old Britain with its free health care. I didn’t want to let you go, I wanted you where you belonged, with me. But, Lauren… I hadn’t got the money to buy you the equipment and the insulin you needed to take care of your diabetes. You must remember how we lived?’
I knew that I had been looking back for a long time now only remembering the good times, but in the back of my mind I did remember.
We had rented a two-bed duplex apartment in one of the seediest areas of Vegas, far away from the pretty twinkling lights and the rich people spending lots of money. Each month I’d been there, I’d seen how hard it was for the boys to scrape together the money to cover the rent, we never answered the door when we were late paying as we were scared we’d be chucked out and end up sleeping in Luke’s old car.
The place we lived in housed some of the hardest working people I’d ever met, it also housed the down trodden and unfortunately those who prayed on those weaker than them. We lived in the same place that the third-class citizens resided in, the cleaners of the twinkly lights, the street walkers, the drug addicts and those seeking to put their name up in lights. I could still see the dirty, old, single mattress that Raff and I slept on at night, covered with a sleeping bag. Some days we lived on Ramen noodles and on other occasions we didn’t eat at all. It had been a shock to my system when I’d first seen where he was living. But when he’d taken me in his arms that first night, all my reservations had been swept away.
Rafferty (Default Distraction Book 2) Page 15