As her hand pulled away from mine as she was hastily removed, my heart had descended heavily. I wasn’t allowed to go with her due to the situation and it all came flooding back. I’d felt like a useless fucking teenager again, scared for her and Gabriella and I had to admit, I was scared for my fucking self. For the first time since she’d got ill in Vegas all those years ago, I felt impotent – money was useless and there was nothing I could do to help them. I had sunk to the floor and prayed for all I was fucking worth that the people she was with knew how much the lives they had in their hands meant to me.
I knew I didn’t deserve them. I knew I could have been better in my life. I swore to anyone that might be in that empty room with me that I would do so much more if only they saved them both.
The paediatrician touched my shoulder and brought me out of my painful thoughts and then she left the room. I wasn’t alone with Gabriella, but the nurse kept her distance and watched the monitors from the other side of the room.
So, to lift the pain away, I began to tell her all about her mum and I and how much we both loved each other and her. I told her about how we’d fallen in love and how after far too long apart we’d finally found our way back to each other. I told her about our love for her and her big brother Flint and how the two of them made our lives complete.
I knew I swore several times as I spoke to her, but I didn’t care.
My baby girl needed me to speak to her, to show her she wasn’t alone in her plastic bubble and I needed to tell her everything. I told her things about her mum that she would never witness, things from almost two decades ago when Lauren had been young and how she made my heart smile when she even so much as looked in my direction and caught my eye.
My words kept on flowing as did the tears down my face and she kept on sleeping soundly, unaware of what had happened in this hospital a few hours ago. But I knew she was listening to me. Holding her hand, I could feel the beat of her heart rhythmically slowing as she relaxed into the sound of my voice.
Or maybe I was imagining it, but it made sense to me.
It appeared my voice was as soothing to her as sitting here opening all my heart up, was to me. Finally, my tears and fears began to run dry and as silence filled the room, I watched Gabby with her eyes still firmly closed as she turned her head a little towards me and tried to find my voice.
‘We’re going to be okay, little one,’ I whispered to her. Then I wiped my face on my sleeve and pulling myself together I spoke a little louder to let her hear what she was looking for.
‘The doctor says we’ll soon be taking you home. I surprised your mum with that one too. Only a month ago, I took her out for a drive and half way to where we were going, I pulled over and blindfolded her. When we got to the village I got her out of the car and made her hold on to my belt on my jeans as I led her into what used to be your great-nan’s shop. Through we went, until we came out of the other side and into what used to be the apple orchard that was your great-grandad’s pride and joy. You see I’d bought the shop, flat and extensive land behind it and had started to build a home there for us all. She hadn’t got a clue. The shop has been restored and will always be there for Vera and the family to visit when they need to. I don’t think I’ve ever managed to get one past your mum like that before.’
I smiled as I put my head down onto the plastic again.
As I did so, a sound came from behind me and I watched my baby daughter open her blue eyes.
‘Hello, my girl,’ I whispered as our eyes found each other’s.
‘I thought that was my title?’ Lauren’s voice rushed over to me and my heart leapt at the sound. I broke eye contact with our daughter to watch as Flint wheeled my beautiful, but tired looking wife’s wheelchair into the baby unit.
‘Always.’ I nodded to her and mouthed that I loved her as Flint pushed her over to my side. I grabbed her hand and lifted it up to my mouth to kiss it and together we watched as Flint looked at his baby sister for the first time.
‘And forever,’ she whispered back.
With both hands, I lifted her hair from her shoulders. I placed the necklace I’d first given her so many years ago back around her neck and watched the pendant find its place against her skin, just above her heart. She looked down to watch what I was doing and then back up to meet my eyes and gave me a small smile. Denying myself no longer, I lifted her chin up higher using my forefinger and thumb. Then I placed a loving kiss onto the lips of the woman who held my whole life in her hands.
‘Always and forever, my girl.’
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When naive, British physiotherapist, Frankie Jones, is offered the job of a lifetime, she decides that letting go and moving on is exactly what the doctor ordered. But when she comes face to face with a sexy and irresistible blast from her past, she realises that she just can't walk away.
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Rafferty (Default Distraction Book 2) Page 30