Monsters (Kaliya Sahni Book 3)

by K. N. Banet

  “That’s between him and me,” Raphael countered with a smirk.

  “He and I used to fuck,” I reminded the man down the hall.

  “Well, we certainly weren’t talking about you in bed. I’m not like that and never figured he was, either,” he said, putting his hands into his pockets. “And don’t try to use that like it’s going to bother me.”

  “It doesn’t? It did once upon a time. I remember you asking questions about it,” I murmured, watching Raphael’s eyes flash to that black and red as his secondary scent filled the house.

  “Why are you trying to pick a fight?” he asked, tiny black veins growing from his eyes.

  “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “But I’m not purposefully trying to. I’m just curious how my current lover and my ex-lover talked about me…in my own house.”

  “Mmm…you’re going to have to work to find out,” he taunted, a smile forming.

  I pushed off from the door and walked closer to him, taking my time with slow but purposeful steps. It had been a fun few hours, getting out of the house without him, but being alone in his presence again felt better. I didn’t know how okay I was with this new normal, but I couldn’t deny it was nice to be with him without any watchful eyes.

  “I work very hard to get what I want,” I whispered, running my nails over his abs, feeling those muscles tighten in anticipation. I had never had a lover like Raphael, who made me feel like sex was fun, good, and made me genuinely want it. I could never deny it felt good, but he made it easy.

  “Oh, I know,” he whispered in return. “Cassius and I may have touched on that.”

  I laughed as I grabbed his shirt and pulled him toward my bedroom.

  9

  Chapter Nine

  I was reading through a new book when Raphael fell onto the couch next to me and groaned. I tilted my head slightly to look at him out of the corner of my eye.

  “When is Paden going to call?” he asked, his head falling back, and he stared at the ceiling.

  I looked back at the passage I was reading and shook my head dismissively.

  “It’s been three days. Information gathering takes time, and he needs to find something Cassius and I haven’t already before it’s worth it for him to call,” I reminded the man beside me.

  “I’m tired of working out and eating. It’s literally all I do, every day.”

  “Not true. You’ve also been absorbing every bit of supernatural knowledge I can give you.” I turned the page of my book when I hit the end of my skimming exercise. I was looking for anything that sounded similar to Raphael. This particular book had been hard to get because there were few copies. It was considered debunked by the majority of supernaturals but had loads of incorrect information on several well-known species and references to others I could only assume were also incorrect. But it was more information. Some things in the book felt like complete fiction, but so did Raphael. All I was looking for was anything that sounded like what he could do.

  “Yeah…” He didn’t sound happy.

  I closed the book because this was apparently a conversation.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, gently tossing the book onto my coffee table. I used to read in my office, but reading in my living room was more common now, wanting to be in the public space I shared with him.

  “I’ve learned a lot over the last…what is it, nine months?”

  “You have and yeah, right about nine months,” I confirmed, nodding as I hoped he would say more.

  “What’s the point?” he asked softly, his head turning to me. “Reading about what everyone else can do…I don’t know what I’m going to do when this is all said and done. What do I offer that others don’t? And I don’t expect you to let me live here forever, so I need to figure out somewhere to go.”

  “I’m glad you’re thinking about that now. Better to have some idea of your options before it’s time to decide on something.” I looked at the book I dropped, needing to look away from him. The idea of him leaving was both wonderful and awful, the two sides of my feelings warring.

  “I’m not trying to end things between us, of course,” he said, leaning closer to me. “But I think we skipped a few steps.”

  “You need some time living on your own,” I agreed, turning to him again because I had seemed somewhat normal. “I wasn’t thinking you were breaking this off.”

  I was thinking about the day you leave when I can break this off without having to live with it in my house, haunting me all the time.

  “Yeah, so I’ve just been thinking about what happens after. What comes next for me? I’ll try to find a job. Should I work with other supernaturals or humans? How will I pay my bills and should I try to…I don’t know, make a name for myself? That seems to be a popular thing to do in your…our world.”

  “Well…I would recommend getting into what you wanted to do as a human, but the Tribunal will have you killed if you try to join any sort of human military, so…” I was at a bit of a loss. “How long have you been thinking about this?”

  “A couple of months,” he said softly, looking away from me. “It doesn’t help that I feel completely fucking useless helping you and Cassius when we’re trying to solve what’s going on with me.” He gave me a rueful smile. “That’s a feeling of inadequacy I’ve been stumped on for months.”

  I chuckled softly at that, shrugging as I did. “It’s fine. Really.”

  I wished I could help him more, but I’d had a purpose the moment I left home. I had known what I wanted to do and hadn’t had to adjust to being a new supernatural. I always knew I was a naga, always knew the abilities I had. There was a security in that, something Raphael didn’t have. I once compared him to werewolves or vampires, the types of supernaturals who were once human and had to adjust, but even they had more to go on than him. They had people around them to tell them what they were, their limits, and what they needed to survive. Raphael had none of that, and for a moment, I pitied him, regretting the harsh way I had treated him when we met. There was no one in the world we could find to teach him, to offer him any sort of familiarity.

  “Is it?”

  “You’ve saved my ass more than once,” I pointed out. “Don’t discount that. I don’t. Sure, Cassius and I have to do the work for part of this, but let’s be honest for a moment. We’re not getting to the truth of this without at least one fight. I’m glad we’re on the same side because we’re probably going to need you.”

  He sighed but nodded. I knew he didn’t like violence, not in a pansy-ass, pacifist way, but he held himself to better standards than just punching his way through life, and I could respect that. He wasn’t afraid to throw the punch, but he didn’t like killing.

  “Did you like working in construction?” I asked, remembering how he used those jobs to fund his on-the-run lifestyle.

  “I liked the hard work, and I could blend in with other people most people didn’t want to look at. I don’t know how much you know about human politics—”

  “I understand the turbulent feelings going on in the area,” I said quickly, waving a hand to stop him from explaining. I didn’t much care for talking about human politics, laws, and the rest of it. I had enough injustice in the supernatural world to deal with, and getting mad over what humans were doing to each other was just a recipe for disaster. “I try to keep my head down when it comes to human situations around me, but I understand. Most supernaturals are like me, by the way. Unless it’s going to disrupt our lives, we keep our heads down. We can’t get involved in that. Exposure is too risky.”

  “That’s another thing I don’t understand and how it’s going to affect me. Werewolves are members of human society but also supernatural and follow the Tribunal. Humans are beginning to open up to the idea of fae and witches. What would happen if humans find out about me?”

  I groaned and rubbed my temples.

  “The best thing you can do is stay a secret, Raphael. I remember when the werewolves decided to come out. It was
a population issue. There’s so damn many of them and too many cameras. Modern technology was going to doom them faster than the rest of us. The fae have another realm to disappear to if things get too risky, and witches can blend back into human society. I don’t know a single species who wants to be discovered. As for humans, most don’t want to learn about more than what they already know.”

  “Like…if they don’t see a monster, they can ignore it,” he said softly. “I grew up like that, I guess. Even knowing werewolves were real, I still…blocked it out. Assumed everyone was human. Werewolves were people I saw giving interviews on TV or in videos on the internet.”

  “Exactly. It’s a survival instinct of humanity that has worked really well for them so far. There are exceptions. The paranoid or the prejudiced ones will cause problems, but the vast majority of humans really want the monsters to stay in their closets and under their beds. I don’t go out of my way to disrupt that. You shouldn’t, either. Whatever you did for five years to stay a secret, keep doing. Let the other species work their own shit out. It’s not your problem. A werewolf, fae, or witch is never going to out you. No one is. Promise.”

  “Really?” He frowned. “Why?”

  “They’ll die for it,” I answered simply. “There are a lot of ways to get the death penalty from the Tribunal. That’s one of them. Since the Tribunal formed, only werewolves exposed themselves willingly or even considered it. Fae have had some unfortunate run-ins with scientists and governments, and witches…well, they’re getting lazy, in my opinion. I think they’ve stopped giving a shit.” I snapped my fingers. “Hasan once threatened to take the werecats public as a PR stunt against the other members of the Tribunal because exposing werecats could lead to everyone getting exposed. That was an interesting day.”

  “So, for all the criminals and evil people in the supernatural community, the one rule everyone follows is…don’t tell the humans?” He seemed disbelieving.

  “Yeah, I guess that’s exactly what is,” I confirmed, chuckling. “Whatever you choose to do, you’ll find out there are going to be humans you can tell and humans you want to keep in the dark, but you can only tell them about you.” I pointed at him, hoping I was clear enough. “If you have to bring them into supernatural society fully, they become your responsibility. They also become subjects of the Tribunal because you’re a subject of the Tribunal. If they break the rules, you will be expected to kill them or die with them if you refuse to take responsibility.”

  “Right. Because there are a lot of ways to get the death penalty from the Tribunal.”

  I chuckled again at the look on his face. This was my sort of dark humor.

  “It’s really not all that bad,” I promised. “You just…make it work. I don’t put any effort into humans not finding out about it, except for a couple of easy rules. I don’t shift in front of them. I don’t show my fangs to them. Simple things. I’ve had over a hundred years of practice, so it’s second nature now, but it was never hard. Hiding from the humans doesn’t impede daily life, either, Raphael. We’ve been doing it so long, we run an entire government and economy right under their noses, and they have no idea.” I waved a hand around my house. “Does it look like I’m hiding?”

  “No. No, it doesn’t. Fake names and accounts, right? Stuff like that?”

  “Yup. When you’re ready to go out on your own, I’ll introduce you to my favorite people to do all of that stuff. They make sure nothing looks like fraud to the humans. And don’t worry about the money.” I snorted at just the idea that money worried him. Did I want to financially care for him forever? No, but I wasn’t concerned about it either. “It’s pretty typical for a new supernatural to get assistance from someone. If there’s no one around you willing to help, you go to a ruler or someone, and they’ll go out on a limb for you. I guess the best example would have been Carter…” I felt a wave of regret. That damn boy. I missed him. “Um…he was turned into a vampire against his will. The Phoenix nest took him in because it doesn’t do them any good to leave a vampire without anyone to teach him. They gave him his first job in their own businesses until he adjusted, then he got to explore his options more. He owed them loyalty and community but nothing too terrible. The same thing happens with werewolf packs. I’m fine playing that role for you.”

  He only nodded, letting silence consume the conversation. I picked my book up once I decided he wasn’t going to talk anymore.

  “Thank you,” he whispered softly.

  “You’re welcome,” I said in exchange. I opened the book to where I was and started reading again, trying to shove away the tidal wave of emotion threatening my composure.

  I was halfway through my reading material, and Raphael was gone when my phone buzzed in my pocket. Figuring it was Cassius or Sorcha texting me, I didn’t look at it immediately. When it went off two more times in twenty minutes, I pulled it out.

  Paden: I think I might have something for you.

  Paden: I need you to get back to me. I don’t want to send this over text.

  Paden: Kaliya, your phone is always on you. Pick up.

  I jumped up from the couch and sent the book to the floor, walking quickly to my office as I typed a response, then closed myself into my office, but didn’t lock the door.

  Raphael could need me.

  I called Paden as I sat down.

  “Took you long enough,” he muttered.

  “What do you have?” I asked, my heart thumping too fast in my chest.

  “Some whispers leading to Sedona. Not that he’s there now, but that he might have been in that area before. I’ve been given a couple of names so far, all of them cover names.”

  “How did you…” I was amazed. Three days and he already had a direction for us, people who had met this guy, and was knocking off the guy’s aliases? This was why Paden made so much money as an information broker.

  “I asked the criminals you and Cassius didn’t want to ask,” he said simply. “Shared his picture to a few I trusted. You know how these things go. Someone knows a guy, who knows a guy, whose aunt saw a healer who had some strange methods of doing his work, then up and disappeared after the treatment failed.”

  “No shit,” I whispered, leaning to rest my chin on my hand, using the desk to hold me up. “Any addresses?”

  “Possibly,” Paden said, thoughtful. “I’m going to send you the contact information for the man whose aunt saw a particularly similar-looking healer. He’s agreed to talk to you because it might help his aunt. I don’t know much about her situation, and he didn’t want to expose too much about her. She’s a law-abiding citizen, and he isn’t, you see. He’s trying not to expose her to the criminal aspects of his life.”

  “Of course. Send it over. Sedona isn’t a long drive. How long ago did his aunt see this guy?” Timeline was important. I wasn’t sure I wanted to chase a lead over five or six years old.

  “Two years ago.”

  That was the perfect answer.

  My computer dinged, and I saw the notification for my secure email. Paden’s information was there.

  “Thanks. Are you going to keep hunting for more?”

  “I will, but I figured you could work on this while you waited. You never know where these leads might take you.”

  “Thanks, Paden.” I hung up and typed in my password, opening the email. Paden wrote up everything he knew about the nephew, a young fae called Aaron. A small-time criminal, someone Cassius and I would never look at unless he escalated. He ran packages for the sort of people Cassius and I didn’t like, but he was paying the bills, and a look at his finances showed he was helping his aunt a lot. His aunt didn’t work, now living on assistance from the family, which was mostly her nephew and his own mother.

  I had respect for that. If I knew Cassius as well as I thought, he would as well. We would just have to convince Aaron we wouldn’t fuck with him, just wanted to know what he knew.

  I forwarded the information to Cassius and added my own notes, so he knew what I
was thinking. I went to find Raphael in his room, where he was propped up on his bed, reading a book.

  “We’re driving up to Sedona tomorrow,” I told him, leaning on the door frame as he looked up from his reading. “What are you reading?”

  “Cassius recommended it.”

  “That doesn’t tell me what it is,” I said with a smirk. “What’s the title? Did you find it here?”

  “He brought it over, actually,” Raphael explained, swinging his legs off the bed and standing. He walked the book over. “He thought I would find it interesting and knew I was getting bored. He said Sorcha was getting bored, too, with you and him doing everything.”

  I suddenly wanted to stab Cassius. He was trying to take care of my mate, and I didn’t need him to. As Raphael showed me the title, I felt a little hurt. It was a book of legends, one I already owned.

  “I have a copy of that,” I said softly. “You could have asked me or just taken it. I wouldn’t have cared.”

  “I…” Raphael put the book down on his dresser, but his eyes stayed on me. “I don’t like needing to ask you for everything. Cassius offered it, I recognized it from your shelves, and decided I wanted to read it, but I don’t want to have to rely on you for everything. I’m borrowing his copy instead.”

  “Yeah, it’s cool.” I pushed off from the door. “Sedona, tomorrow. Be ready to leave early.” I didn’t make it two steps before a thick arm wrapped around my waist and forced me to a stop.

  “Are you jealous I borrowed his book?” Raphael asked, his breath hot on my ear.

  “Should I be? Do you swing that way?” I tried to hide it with humor, but I knew I was caught. Denial, however, was a great defense strategy.

  “No,” he said with a chuckle, kissing the spot behind my ear. “I need to be independent of you, though.”

  I don’t want you to be independent of me.

  Wait. Yes, I do. Right? Yeah. I need him to be independent of me if I want him to get out of here without becoming my mate. I won’t do that to him. I need to solve this case, so he can go have his own life.