by Apryl Baker
Angel looked up to give him the tongue-lashing he deserved, but she couldn’t get the words out. This man was looking at her like he knew her. He glanced from her to the boy and back again. Recognition sparked in his eyes, but it made no sense. She’d never met him.
“Mateo, di gracias a la señora.”
“Gracias, señora.” His voice was soft, but strong. It even held a hint of defiance. Her heart clenched. He looked so much like what she imagined her son would. Her eyes burned as the grief of losing her baby washed through her.
“De nada,” she whispered. When the man put his hand on top of the child’s head, everything within her wanted to rip the boy away from him and scream, “Mine.” Stop it. He’s not yours.
“Again, Señora…?”
“Kincaid. Angel Kincaid.”
“Señora Kincaid. Thank you for saving my son.” He gave her a smile and took the child’s hand, leading him into the hotel.
It took everything she had not to follow them into the hotel and…and what? Was she seriously standing here considering kidnapping another man’s son just because he looked like Kade? Shaking her head, she looked around for her phone that had fallen when she dived for the little boy. It was over by one of the planters along the hotel sidewalk.
Lily had not hung up. In fact, her tiny voice was squawking loudly.
“Hey, I’m fine.”
“What happened? One second you were there, and the next it looked like the phone was flying through the air.”
“An idiot wasn’t watching his son, and I dived to get the little boy before the car hit him.” She rubbed her hip, which started to sting about the same time her back did.
“Is he okay?”
“Yeah, but his father is an ass who’s just going to go back to talking on the phone and not paying attention to his kid.”
“That’s terrible. Some people don’t deserve kids.”
“No, they don’t.” She glanced at the hotel entrance once more, before going back to hailing a cab. The instinct to find the little boy was so powerful, she dug her nails into her palms.
“Are you okay, Angel?” Lily’s question snapped her attention back to the phone. They were using FaceTime, so she wasn’t surprised at Lily’s concern. She couldn’t even imagine what her expression must look like.
“Yeah, it’s just the little boy…” She shook her head and climbed into the taxi that came to a stop in front of her. She gave him the address.
“The little boy?” Lily prompted when she didn’t say anything.
Angel sighed, her heart breaking as they sped away from the hotel. Her stomach clenched, and her muscles tensed. This was not good. It had been a while since she’d let herself feel the grief of losing her son. She hadn’t even gotten to hold him. The hospital disposed of him as medical waste. Standard procedure, they told her.
“It’s just that he looked so much like Kade.” A small smile tilted her lips as she remembered staring up into his green eyes. “His eyes were green, like mine, and I kid you not, Lily, he had my brother’s nose. He’s exactly what I pictured my own son would have looked like.”
“Oh, honey.”
“I’ll be fine.” She brushed away a stray tear. “Sometimes the grief hits me when I’m not expecting it. I need to go home, take a hot bath, and ride it out.”
“Is there anything I can do?” Lily asked, her expression soft and gentle.
“No, but thank you. Now, back to Nik. If you want to come to my place instead of waiting there like the obedient little woman, you are more than welcome to. I could use the company, honestly.” This time a bath and a box of chocolate wasn’t going to get rid of the awful feeling rolling around in the pit of her stomach or the pain in her heart. She needed a distraction.
“Ohh, I can do that. Meet you there in twenty?”
“Perfect.” Angel said her goodbyes and closed FaceTime, trying to think about anything but the empty expression on the little boy’s face. It bothered her so much she started to twist her fingers, a nervous habit she’d picked up from Lily.
By the time she reached her apartment, it felt like she couldn’t breathe. She paid the cabby and tried not to run on the way into her building. The elevator ride felt torturous. What was wrong with her?
She managed to unlock the door without too much trouble, but her stomach decided to put its two cents in. Angel barely made it to the bathroom before she threw up. Her entire body shook. This was bad. How had seeing that child brought about this kind of a reaction? It made no sense.
Panic attack. This had to be a panic attack. She’d never experienced them before, but what else could this be? Falling to the floor, she curled up and tried to calm down. It was going to be okay. Everything was going to be fine.
The more she told herself that, the tenser and sicker she became. Dragging herself up, she swiped her phone off the sink and called Kade. Maybe hearing his voice would help.
“Finally.” The growl that reached her ears brought tears to her eyes. “Why the fuck didn’t you answer your damn phone?”
“Kade…” The words were barely a whisper, chock-full of tears.
“Angel, what’s wrong? Are you hurt? Where are you?”
“Home.” She tried to pull in air, but she strangled on it. “Come home, Kade. I need you.” Then she hung up, unable to deal with any more questions.
The doorbell rang ten minutes later. Lily. Angel found she couldn’t move from her position on the bathroom floor. All she could see were those tiny green eyes boring into her own. Expressionless and as empty as a barren wasteland. Why did they look like that?
“Angel?”
Kade’s roar caused her tears to flow harder. If only he’d been able to see the little boy. He’d know what Matthew should have looked like. It wasn’t fair.
Kade found his wife lying curled up in a fetal position on the floor, and terror gripped him. Was she sick, hurt? He rushed in and picked her up, carrying her to the bedroom. Lily stood in the doorway, eyes wide and concerned. He paid her no mind when she went into the bathroom.
“What is it, moye serdste? Tell me.” He didn’t mean to sound so angry or demanding, but he was scared. He’d never seen her like this.
She only cried harder.
“Maybe it’s the little boy she saved.” Lily came out of the bathroom with a wet cloth. He took it and wiped Angel’s face as best he could.
“Little boy?” he muttered as he wiped away the tears.
“She said he looked like you with her eyes and her brother’s nose.”
Kade’s head snapped up, and he stared at his future sister-in-law. “What?”
“We were on the phone, and the little boy stepped out into traffic. His father wasn’t watching him, and Angel ran to save him. She said looking at him brought back her own grief at losing her son. Maybe this is a manifestation of that grief.”
She saved a child who looked like him. That would do it. They’d been talking about their son recently, wondering if they might want to try to get pregnant again. Seeing a child who might look a little like him would definitely set her off.
“I’m going to make a pot of coffee. Getting something hot into her might help.”
“Thank you, Lily.”
“No worries.” She smiled and left the room, closing the door behind her. He was grateful for the privacy.
“Shh, baby, it’s okay.” He rocked Angel like a child as she sobbed. “I’m right here. It’s okay.”
Kade wasn’t sure how long he sat there, holding her while she cried, but he was grateful when she finally spoke. Angel was scaring him.
“He looked like Matthew.”
Kade closed his eyes and pulled his own grief in tight. He couldn’t let it show, not right now. She needed him to be strong.
“I know, baby.”
“No, Kade, you don’t understand.” Her words were barely above a whisper, but he heard them. “He was a mirror image of you. My eyes. It’s what our son would have looked like.”
&nb
sp; “Honey, it’s because we’ve been talking about having another baby…”
“No.” Angel pushed his arms away and stood. “He looked like Matthew. He was even around the same age as our child would have been. If you could have seen him…” She cleared her throat and dashed the tears away. “Everything in me said he was mine, Kade. Walking away was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. This isn’t grief, it’s my body telling me that child is mine, even though I know he isn’t. My son died.”
Kade’s heart broke seeing the anguish on his wife’s face. “Angel, he’s not Matthew.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” she railed. “My brain tells me it’s not him, but my heart says he is. Illogical, but my body is telling me it’s not illogical, that I need to go back and snatch him and never let him go. It makes no sense, but that’s how I feel. I had a panic attack when I left him with that bastard.”
Kade took a deep breath and let it out. How was he going to argue with a mother’s instincts, wrong as they might be?
“I know how insane I sound.” Her shoulders slumped. “If you had seen him, you’d understand. Everything in me says he’s mine, Kade. How do I ignore that?”
“Baby.” He stood and wrapped her in his arms. “I am so sorry you’re hurting, but he’s not ours.”
“I know.” She shook with more sobs, and all he could do was hold her, helpless to do anything to take her pain away.
“Why don’t you lie down and rest for a bit?” He led her over to her side of the bed and helped her with her shoes. Then he tucked a throw around her and sat with her until she cried herself to sleep. This was too much. He had to find a way to help her.
He found Lily sitting at the bar in the kitchen, sipping a cup of coffee, pale and concerned. “How is she?”
“I’ve never seen her this bad.” Granted, he hadn’t been there to see her in the days after Matthew and Peter died, but somehow he thought this was worse than that dark time. “Do you know where she was when she saw the kid?”
“Macy’s, I think. Birthday shopping for you.”
He winced. He’d told her not to bother, that he didn’t want any big fuss over his birthday, but she’d never listened to a word he said.
Lily’s phone buzzed, and she made a face before muting it. “Dodging work?”
“No, dodging your asinine brother. He ordered me to stay put, but he was mean about it.”
“So, you came over here?” When she nodded, he pulled his phone out and called Nik.
He picked up on the first ring, panicked. “I can’t find her, and she’s not answering…”
“Calm down. She’s here.”
“The fuck? Why the hell isn’t she answering her phone?”
“I told you there’d be consequences for how you spoke to her.” He listened then nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll keep her here until you can come get her.” He ignored Lily’s outraged gasp. “See you soon, brat.”
“Why…”
He held up a hand before she could light into him. “There’s a lot going on, Lily. He’s trying to protect you, even if he went about it wrong. When the Kincaid men worry, we can sound angry and gruff, even hostile. It’s because we’re scared. You need to cut him some slack.”
“Protect me from what?” Her blue eyes deepened with worry. Lily reminded him of Snow White with her blue eyes, alabaster skin, and black hair. Even her voice had this musical quality to it. He remembered how Nik had made fun of Snow White for being stupid enough to eat a poison apple from someone who obviously wasn’t trustworthy when he was a kid. Now he was engaged to a Snow White lookalike. Kade chuckled at the comparison.
“What’s so funny?” Lily’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“Sorry, I was just thinking of something.” He poured himself a cup of coffee. “You and Angel will both be getting a protective detail until the threat is handled.”
“Threat?”
“A drug cartel I investigated when I worked in Miami.” He turned and leaned against the sink, sipping the coffee. “They could use you to get to me.”
“I don’t understand.”
Kade explained his past with the cartel and the present danger they were all in. He watched it sink in and grew alarmed when her already pale face went completely white.
“Don’t worry, Lily, we will keep you safe.”
Before she could respond, they heard the key in the lock, and then the door slammed against the wall. Nikoli stormed in and stopped inches from Lily. He looked mad enough to wring her neck, but he didn’t touch her. Lily had a phobia about being touched. No matter how upset Nik might get, he always put her first, which meant giving her time to realize what he was about to do. According to his brother, her fear wasn’t nearly as bad as it used to be, though.
She took a steady breath and gave him a half smile. Nikoli wasted no time grabbing her, hugging her so tight it looked like he might choke the air out of her lungs.
“Lily Bells, I swear to God, if you ever do that to me again, I will…shit, I don’t know what the hell I’ll do. Just, please, for fuck’s sake, don’t do that to me again.”
“I’m sorry,” she murmured when he let her move enough to breathe. “I didn’t know what was going on. You should have told me before you summarily decided to go all caveman.”
Nikoli let out a breath so hard, her hair fluttered. Kade watched him swallow his irritation. His little brother had a thing about authority. He might get away with that in Lily’s bed, but she sure as hell wasn’t letting him act like a domineering asshole outside the bedroom.
“I mean it, Nikoli.” She pushed away from him far enough to look him in the eyes. “I will not be spoken to like that. Ever. For any reason.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry, dushka.” He kissed her forehead, almost reverently. “I was scared…and…”
“And Kade explained it to me,” she interrupted. “You get a pass this time, but never again.”
Kade broke in before the heat pouring off them scorched the walls. “Now that that’s settled, Nik, have you put in the call for more security?”
“Yes, Blackhawk Security will provide us with six men. Three more will be heading to Becca on the next flight to Chicago. They should arrive at your offices in about an hour.” His arms tightened around Lily, his face fierce. “No one is going to get near our women.”
“You head home, and I’ll go to the office as soon as Watkins gets here.” Kade rubbed his forehead, the migraine blooming enough to make him wince.
“Where’s Angel?” Nik frowned, looking around. Took him long enough to realize his sister-in-law wasn’t in the room.
“She got upset earlier and had a bit of an episode. She’s sleeping now.”
“Episode? What…”
“Lily can tell you about it on the way home. I have some calls to make, so I’m throwing you out.” He didn’t want to get into how Angel reacted to the child until he could wrap his head around it himself. He’d call Dr. Horn. The therapist might know how to help her. He’d gotten her through the worst of her fears from being kidnapped and tortured, or at least shown her how to emotionally handle them.
Once Nik left and he checked his voicemail, he went back to their bedroom. She was still sound asleep, her vibrant red hair splayed out behind her on the pillow. His Angel looked pale and haunted, even in sleep.
How the fuck was he supposed to help her?
Chapter Four
Juan tossed his keys and wallet onto the small desk in the hotel room, his mind running a thousand miles a minute. Did she know? How could she, though? She thought the boy was dead. Hell, Juan had been surprised the kid survived. Children born at twenty weeks were not viable, but Mateo had defied death. It was why Juan agreed to train him. Even as an infant, he’d had the strength of will most adults lacked. That strength would serve the boy well in the cartel.
He told his whore to get into bed. Mateo sat quietly on the couch, staring straight ahead. Juan tossed him the iPad to keep him occupied while he was busy. Then he pulled
out his phone and called Tomás.
“Juan, my friend. I trust New York is handled?” The jovial voice belied the murderous bastard it belonged to. Tomás ran the cartel because he was ruthless and not afraid to punish those who disobeyed or turned disloyal. He’d seen him cut the fingers off a four-year-old and feed them to her father once. The man was insane.
“Sí, Tomás. The issue has been resolved, but I have other news to report.”
He kept his tone serious to alert his boss of the gravity of the situation. The man had a hard-on for Kincaid. Tomás’s little brother had been killed in the raid Kincaid led down in Miami. It garnered him a death sentence, and Tomás had stolen his child from him just as Miguel had been taken from Tomás.
“Speak.”
The coldness in that one word sent shivers racing over his skin. Juan was an evil bastard, but Tomás scared him. “I ran into an old friend. Angelique Kincaid.”
“Kincaid.” Tomás went from cold to downright scary. “I thought they separated.”
“That was the last intelligence we had. She moved to Boston, and he was in Atlanta. Sometime between then and now, they reconnected.”
“And they are in New York?”
“She is. I am not sure of Kade.”
“Find out. And, Juan?”
“Sí?”
“I want them alive. Both of them. And bring the boy to me.”
“Of course.”
Juan hung up the phone and looked at the child. He was playing a game and not paying attention to the conversation, but he had no idea his parents were being discussed. Juan felt a twinge of something like fear run through him. Tomás would use Mateo to torture his parents. He’d brutalize the kid before killing him in front of Kincaid. Juan had put distance between him and the boy over the years, but he had cared for him all this time. If he had to be the one to butcher him, it wouldn’t be as easy as his other marks. He might not love the kid, but he was responsible for him.
He’d butcher him in the end, but he wouldn’t enjoy it.