All or Nothing

by Becca Van

  She hadn’t been able to save her mother from dying, but if she’d thought things through more carefully, Kat may have been able to save Rosita. The Latino woman had been more than a cook and cleaner to her and Niki. She’d been their second mother. Now, her Mom and Rosita were both dead, and it was her fault.

  “Kat, what’s wrong?” Jalen’s deep voice pulled her back to the present.

  She’d been so lost in her self-analysis, she’d momentarily forgotten where she was. That seemed to be happening more and more to her, and it scared the fuck out of her. Kat began to think she was going crazy. Maybe it would be better for everyone if she had herself committed. They’d all be a lot better off and wouldn’t have to worry about her anymore.

  Kat felt like a burden. She felt as if she always had been and always would be.

  Niki was in love with her three cowboys and didn’t need her to protect her anymore. Kat was free to do whatever she wanted now.

  Maybe it was time to explore the world.

  “Nothing’s wrong,” she said as she glanced at Jalen before looking away.

  Jalen grasped her chin, turning her back to face him. When she tried to shove his fingers off, he just tightened his grip, but she wasn’t all that surprised that he wasn’t hurting her. “That’s the biggest crock of shit I’ve ever heard.”

  Kat sighed quietly when he removed his fingers from her face, but then she squeaked when he lifted her by the waist and set her down in his lap. She blinked up at him with shock. He and his brothers had never been so forceful with her before. In fact, she’d kept them running around chasing their tails and trying to keep them guessing by being as unpredictable as she could.

  He combed his fingers into her hair, grasping the tresses at the back of her head to hold her still.

  When she saw the determined resolve in his gaze, Kat decided not to fight him right now. She’d pick her battles and use her sharp tongue to protect herself when she felt threatened. While she didn’t feel physically threatened at the moment, she knew that if she kept hanging around with him and his brothers, her emotions were going to be in jeopardy.

  Danger, Kat Russo. Danger!

  “You have no idea how much you scared us, do you?”

  Kat frowned at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  Dante tapped her arm. “Watch your mouth, love. If you keep spitting out all those cuss words, you’re going to end up over my knee with a red ass.”

  She glared at him through narrowed eyes. “You wouldn’t dare.”

  He kept his gaze pinned to hers. “Try me.”

  Their staring contest lasted for over a minute, and if Mica hadn’t shifted on his stool, drawing her gaze, she would have won. She scowled at him, but he didn’t seem the least bit intimidated by her. He smiled and winked at her.

  If it wouldn’t have made her appear childish in their eyes, she would have screamed and stomped her foot.

  “You don’t remember freaking out at the library this morning, do you, baby?” Jalen asked drawing her attention.

  “What the fu…hell are you talking about?”

  “Raiden called me after getting a call from Shyann. One of the kids in the back of the library dropped a pile of books on a desk causing a loud bang,” Jalen explained. “You dropped to your knees and crawled under the serving counter. You were still there when we got there. Shyann tried to talk to you, but you were unresponsive.”

  Kat shook her head in denial, her eyes wide as she stared up at him.

  “You have PTSD, Kat. We know all about that after serving in the Marines. Let us help you, baby.”

  “I don’t need your help,” she stated emphatically while scowling up at Jalen, but her insides were fluttering, and not in a good way. Kat was scared. She’d never done anything like what Jalen had just told her before. She was terrified that she was going insane and didn’t have any idea how to stop the downward spiral.

  “Yeah, you do, sweetie.” Mica stroked a finger down her cheek.

  She would have turned her glare on him if Jalen hadn’t been holding her head still by her hair.

  “You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, love,” Dante said. “We’ve all been where you are.”

  “I don’t believe you,” she whispered, trying to keep her tears at bay by blinking rapidly. Kat hated showing any emotions, but right now she was struggling with everything as she tried to come to grips with what they’d told her.

  She was so embarrassed, she wasn’t sure she’d ever want to show her face in the library again.

  Shyann probably thought she was crazy. Shit, what if the patrons of the library had seen her lose her mind? Would they start whispering about her behind her back? Would they try and avoid her and bypass her when they wanted help or when they were returning or borrowing books?

  The more she thought about it, the more upset she became, but she made sure to keep her face as blank as she could.

  Kat was already feeling way out of her depth in the presence of the three sexy Donnybrook men. The last thing she wanted, needed was for them to look at her as if she had two heads.

  “You are so fucking stubborn,” Dante snapped. He gazed at Mica with a raised brow, and Mica nodded.

  Jalen released her hair, and she turned to look at Mica when he stood. She sunk her teeth into her bottom lip when he tugged his shirt up over his head.

  Her insides melted, pooling with liquid desire as she stared at his tanned muscular chest, broad shoulders, bulging biceps, and washboard abs. While she tried to keep her gaze from wandering lower, she couldn’t seem to help herself. Even Mica’s thighs looked hard with muscle, but it was the impressive bulge between his legs she found herself fascinated with.

  She held her breath when he stepped closer and shivered when she felt the heat radiating off his large, sexy body. The urge to reach out and touch all those dips and valleys on his stomach was nearly too intense to ignore. She lifted her eyes to his and watched with fascinated wonder as he ran his large hand over his chest and stomach. It was only when he stopped and pointed to a spot low on his right side that she noticed a scar. It was still pink, and she could see where the stitches had been.

  “This is a knife wound, which was because of PTSD. It didn’t hurt and wasn’t life-threatening, but it was deep enough to need stitches,” Mica explained.

  Kat didn’t understand why he said it hadn’t hurt since it had needed sutures. She glanced at Dante when he let out a noisy huff. “I did that, love. I stabbed my own brother because I dreamed I was back fighting a war. When Mica called my name, I woke up alert and fighting and tried to take the enemy down. I only came to when Mica grabbed my wrist and pulled the knife out of his flesh, but the damage had already been done. It’s taking all of us time to get over killing and seeing the horrors of war. All of us still have nightmares, but we’re getting better. We no longer duck when we hear loud noises like a car backfiring. We’ve been talking to a psychologist, and that’s helped.”

  “We can call and make an appointment and go with you if you don’t want to go alone, baby. All you have to do is say the word,” Jalen said.

  Mica stared at her. “We want to help you, sweetie. We’ve been and sometimes are still going through what you are.”

  “We want to have a relationship with you, Kat,” Dante said, locking his eyes with hers. “We’re all attracted to you, love, and as much as you try and fight it, you’re attracted to us, too.”

  Kat slid from Jalen’s lap, backing away while shaking her head.

  Even though they’d seen her naked, Jalen had wrapped her in that quilt quickly, and she knew they hadn’t seen the marks on her body. She didn’t want any of them seeing her naked again. She didn’t want them touching her body and seeing what he’d done to her.

  Kat didn’t want them looking at her with pity or sympathy when they found out that her father had tortured her. Even Niki didn’t know what their dad had done, and she was going to make sure she took her secret with her to the grav
e.

  Chapter Four

  Mica felt as if they were about to lose her, and he couldn’t stand the thought of her running from them again. While she tried to hide her feelings, Kat had very expressive blue eyes. He and his brothers noticed whenever she was aroused and when she was scared. She might think she was hiding from them, but she wasn’t. They were all very adept at reading people, but her especially.

  Flinging his T-shirt aside, not caring where it landed, he stepped toward her, moving slowly so he didn’t spook her more than she already was. She gasped when she bumped into the wall, and her eyes widened as she stared at him in shock. Studying her intently, Mica could tell she was nervous and feeling exposed after they’d revealed what had happened to her. Normally, he would have let her get away from him and his brothers to calm down and build up her defenses again, but he had a feeling she wouldn’t come near them again if he didn’t act now.

  “You have no idea how fucking gorgeous you are, do you, sweetie?”

  She shook her head, licking her lips nervously.

  When she shifted slightly to the side, he knew she was going to try and sidle away from him, but he couldn’t let her. Mica didn’t want Kat out of his or his brothers’ presence ever again. He wanted her living in their home, sleeping in their bed, and letting them take care of her.

  Kat and her sister hadn’t had anyone to look out for them for a long time. From what they’d said, the housekeeper had tried, but one woman could only do so much against violent criminals. He hated that she and her sister had lived like nuns, locked up in a convent full of abuse and venomous contempt.

  Mica braced his hands on the wall on either side of her head and looked down at her. He was the shortest of his brothers, but he was still inches taller than Kat. The top of her head wasn’t quite level with his chin. As he inhaled through his nose, he took in her delicious scent and almost groaned. She smelled so fucking good, he wanted to strip her down and lick her all over. Saliva rushed into his mouth at the thought of licking her sweet pussy.

  Kat would probably be shocked when or if she ever learned where his thoughts had gone. While she wasn’t naïve, she was innocent. She’d spent all of her life under lock and key and hadn’t even been allowed to go to fucking school. There was no way she could have had a boyfriend or sex. He shook his head. She’d had plenty of opportunities to lose her virginity since her escape over twelve months ago, but he didn’t think she had sex with any man.

  Again, moving slowly, he cupped her cheek and caressed her soft, smooth skin with his thumb. Her breath hitched, and when he glanced down to the base of her throat he saw how rapidly her pulse was beating. Raising his eyes to hers again, he watched with satisfaction as the blue darkened and her pupils dilated.

  Kat wasn’t immune to him at all.

  Mica couldn’t wait another second to taste her lush lips so he lowered his head. He stopped when his lips were barely brushing hers, waiting and hoping she’d make the next move. Holding his breath with nervous anticipation, he wished with everything in him that her arousal was strong enough and she was brave enough to press her lips against his.

  She breathed out a soft moan, the warm puff of her sweet breath tickling his flesh, sending a riot of goosebumps racing over his body. When her small hands clutched at his shoulders, he groaned, and when she closed her eyes and pushed her lips to his, he growled.

  Mica was in heaven as her lips moved softly over his, and while he loved having her kissing him, it wasn’t enough. He lowered his hand from her cheek, wrapped his arm around her waist, and pulled her soft, warm body tight up against his.

  The second her lips parted when she gasped was the moment he took control of the kiss. He slanted his mouth over hers, swept his tongue over her lower lip, then delved inside. She tasted way better than he’d remembered, and he knew without a doubt that one taste would never be enough.

  Mica glided his tongue along, then swirled around hers in an erotic precursor of what he really wanted to do. His blood heated and his muscles hardened. Lust went arrowing down to his groin, causing his cock to twitch and pulse as it filled with blood.

  Kat whimpered as she tried to get closer to him, her body arching into his. He caressed his hand up and down her side, getting closer and closer to the outside of her breast. Using his thumb to caress and tantalize, he smoothed it back and forth beneath her breast, and the second she arched her chest toward him again, he cupped the soft globe in his hand. She moaned, digging her blunt nails into his shoulders as she held him tighter. Mica lifted her up off her feet, holding her higher against him, and was rewarded when she looped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

  He groaned when her sweatpants-covered pussy pressed against his hard dick, and he was sure he could feel the wetness of her desire seeping through her clothes. Mica continued devouring her mouth with a feverish need as he moved from the kitchen into the living room.

  His brothers’ footsteps echoed behind him, letting him know they were following. Being careful not to jolt her, Mica sat on the sofa with her astride his lap and freeing his hands. He shoved one hand up under her shirt after tugging the material from the waistband of her sweats and caressed over the soft skin of her belly. She gasped, breaking the kiss and panting as she tried to catch her breath.

  He licked, sucked, and nibbled up and down the outside of her throat, savoring the sounds of her passionate response. Mica skimmed his hand up toward her breasts, and when he felt the front clasp on her bra, he snapped it open with the flick of his fingers. This time when he cupped her breast, it was skin to skin. Her flesh was like warm silk spilling through his fingers as he kneaded her. Taking her hard, little nipple between his finger and thumb, he rolled the sensitive nub, eliciting gasps and groans from her.

  When the sofa cushions on either side of him depressed as his brothers sat down, he ignored them. As he scraped his teeth over the tendon beneath her ear, Mica pushed her shirt up until he’d bared her breasts. Not wanting to give her a chance to refuse him before he’d had a taste, he lowered his head to one of her breasts, swiped his tongue over the hard peak, and then sucked it into his mouth.

  “Oh!” she cried as he suckled on the peak. “What are you doing to me?”

  “He’s loving you, baby,” Jalen said before he crashed his mouth onto hers.

  * * * *

  Kat couldn’t believe she couldn’t seem to find the strength to make them stop. Having Mica suckling her breast while Jalen ravished her mouth made her hotter than she’d ever imagined she could be in her life. Her breasts felt heavy and swollen, and her pussy was so wet she was sure the borrowed boxers she was wearing had soaked through. Her clit was throbbing, and there was an ache deep inside she’d never felt before.

  Though she wasn’t naïve about the act of sex, she’d never experienced any of these feelings before. She was excited and trepidatious at the same time. Jalen glided his tongue along before curling it around hers. He tasted so good, so spicy and masculine she couldn’t get enough of his flavor.

  She wanted them to stop kissing and touching her, but she also wanted them to keep going.

  Large, calloused hands caressed up and down her side, and when they got to the waistband of the sweatpants, another surge of lust washed through her. She wanted to demand Dante to take them off and touch her more intimately.

  Mica lifted his mouth from her breast, held her waist, and lifted her above his lap. The sweatpants and boxers were yanked down over her hips, then her thighs, and off. Mica pulled the shirt up and off over her head until she was left naked to their gazes with only a thick pair of socks on. Kat knew there was a reason she shouldn’t be naked in front of them, but she was so aroused, for the life of her she couldn’t remember why.

  “Look at all those sexy curves,” Dante rasped out as he smoothed his hands over her ass cheeks.

  More of her juices leaked from her aching pussy.

  “I’ve never seen a more perfect sight,” Mica said hoarsely.


  “The most beautiful woman in the world.” Jalen took a hard nipple between his finger and thumb and squeezed it lightly.

  Electricity shot straight down from her breast to her pussy. If she hadn’t been once more straddling Mica’s thighs, she would have pressed her legs together to try and ease the ache.

  Kat felt as if her insides had melted and wondered how she hadn’t slipped to the floor at their feet in a pile of mush.

  Before she could refute their statements of sexy, perfection, and beauty, Dante sifted his fingers through her hair, turned her toward him, and slammed his mouth over hers.

  Kat moaned and he groaned as their tongues tangled with an erotic passion that just seemed to build the need inside her higher. Mica began drawing on her nipples again, alternating between one and the other until she thought she’d go mad with arousal.

  Jalen had slipped from the sofa to his knees on the floor right behind her and was skimming his hands up and down her back, her sides, and over her butt cheeks. Her pussy clinched and she whimpered into Dante’s mouth. As soon as he broke the kiss, Mica once more lifted her with ease and turned her before lowering her back down to his lap.

  Heat suffused her cheeks when she saw where Jalen was staring. His gaze was locked onto her pussy, and she gasped when he licked his lips as he raised his eyes to hers.

  Mica spread his legs wider, exposing her sex even more. Kat’s face was on fire with embarrassment, but before she could try and close her legs and get up, Mica cupped both of her breasts in his hands, and Jalen caressed a finger up through her slick folds. She jolted when he rubbed a finger over her clit. When he did it again, the muscles in her belly jumped, and her legs started trembling as he stroked her clit once more.

  The aching need between her legs intensified until she felt as if she was on fire. It was too much and yet nowhere near enough. She felt so empty and wanted, needed something inside of her to take the pleasurable pain away.

  She groaned when Mica licked and nipped at her neck, all the while kneading her breasts and strumming his thumbs over her nipples.