Forget Me Not

by Katt Rose

  “He’s back again.”

  I nearly jumped out of my skin from the low voice. Audrey peered over my shoulder. “You just about gave me a heart attack,” I gasped.

  “I’m sorry.” Audrey studied me closely and pressed a hand to her forehead. “I know you. I think I do.”

  My heart dropped, as I knew her mind had turned fuzzy. My mom turned on her heel and set a brisk pace for her bedroom. I followed cautiously, yet curiously. Audrey sat on the edge of her bed and flipped frantically through a blue photo album. My heart ached as I realized it was the album I made for her to remember.

  Audrey glanced up at me with me of a familiarity. She tapped a page in the book and held it toward me. “This is you.”

  I focused on the photo of my mother and myself on the page. “Yes. That’s me. I’m your daughter, Emmy.”

  “So the book says. I’m sorry, I don’t remember you that well.” Audrey looked at me in earnest. “Can I show you something?”

  “Of course.”

  Audrey set the book aside and went down the hall. She opened Aaron’s door like it was nothing at all. My feet faltered as some invisible force stopped me from entering. Audrey bustled around the room like she’d been doing so her whole life. She looked over her shoulder and with slight impatience she gestured me inside.

  I grudgingly entered the forbidden barrier and focused on slowing my heart. Audrey seemed to notice my uneasiness. “What’s wrong?”

  “I-uh.” I took a deep breath and willed my words to co-operate. “It’s this room to be honest.”

  Audrey clucked. “He’s everywhere, isn’t he?”

  My jaw dropped. “Do you remember Aaron?”

  Audrey looked deep in thought. “He’s the young man in the album, right?”

  “Yes.”

  Audrey blew out a low snort. “I dream about him all the time but I don’t know that I remember him entirely.” She lowered her voice. “He comes to me in my dreams.”

  Goosebumps took over my skin. “He comes to me, too.”

  Audrey went down on her knees and pulled a notebook from under the bed. She held it toward me. I took the book carefully and opened it curiously. My breath cut short as sketches of a bear were scribbled about. I flipped through the pages quickly and the sketches ranged from life like detail to tribal. “Where did you get this?” I breathed.

  “I drew them.” Audrey placed her shoulders back. “Do you know the spiritual meaning of a bear?”

  “No,” I said slowly. “I don’t.”

  Audrey nodded eagerly. “The bear as a spirit animal is believed to be a powerful guide to emotional support and healing.” Audrey lowered her voice. “It’s also feared and admired for its strength.”

  The room grew cold. My eyes frantically worked the room, looking for a dark figure. Audrey stepped beside me and grabbed my arm. “He’s not here. You don’t need to fear him.”

  I shook her arm off. “Excuse me?”

  “You and I both know who I’m talking about. He’s not the one to fear.”

  “What do you mean? Who should we fear?”

  “I don’t know.”

  My thoughts began to turn as I took a step closer to my mom and grabbed her by the forearms. “I think you know something. Think. Who should I fear?”

  Audrey glanced at my tightened hands unsurely. “I don’t know. I can’t make out a face.”

  Frustration tore through me. “Do you remember the night of the accident? Were you there?”

  Audrey’s eyes widened. “I don’t know.”

  My hands shook her. “Think, Mom, think! Were you there? What aren’t you telling me?”

  Fear replaced Audrey’s confusion. “Let me go, let me go!” Audrey shook me off and shoved me hard. I hit the ground with a thud and I saw her feet shuffle away.

  Dammit. Good job, Em. Real smooth. I sat motionless on the cool ground until something caught my eye from the corner of the bed. My body moved stiffly as I raised myself to my hands and knees and crawled toward the mark. Clever boy. My fingertip traced the roughness of the floor into a square. I bit my lip and scanned the room for a thin, strong object to help me pry. I grabbed one of Aaron’s thin screwdrivers he used to adjust the bindings on his board. The flat blade sank into the crevice and I pried up a portion of the floor. I couldn’t help but smile at the clever vandalism. Mom would have freaked out on you.

  I reached into the hole and pulled out a Ziploc bag. My eyes studied the bag in the dim room light and let out a laugh. Two joints lay in the bottom, along with a lighter. I set the bag aside and felt the presence of Aaron. For once, it didn’t feel lonely. I pulled out a handful of change, random candies, and a small wooden box. My hands grabbed the wooden box tenderly and I scooted into a comfortable position. I flipped open the lid and stifled a surprised yelp.

  My trembling fingers clasped the golden chain as I held it up. Flashbacks to Aaron’s accident knocked the breath out of me as I remembered this chain catching the light before being pulled from the wreckage. “What the hell,” I gasped.

  My eyes hungrily peered into the remains of the box as I opened the folded letters. “It’s okay. We don’t need to worry. He will never know. Trust me. I love you.” I let the paper drop as I scanned a few of the handwritten scrawls, all draped in love tones. I shook my head trying to make sense of this. Near the bottom of the box was a faded strip of photographs. Aaron was next to someone but the face was hidden. My fingers frantically opened the last letter with a trembling hand. My eyes read it hesitantly and as the words sank in, I felt ill. The sickness began to grow as the anger set in and I began to weep.

  "Again, when a righteous man turns away from his righteousness and commits iniquity, and I place an obstacle before him, he will die; since you have not warned him, he shall die in his sin, and his righteous deeds which he has done shall not be remembered; but his blood I will require at your hand. Ezekial 3:20”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  “Are you okay, Emmy? You’ve been very quiet this morning.”

  I forced a smile. “I’m okay. I had a restless sleep, I’m not used to the noises in this house.” The bear flashed through my mind. “Plus you had a bear wandering your yard.”

  Aunt Sam scowled. “Again? I thought they should be hibernating.”

  “It seems to be a restless winter for all.” I stood and pushed back my chair. “I’m going to get head out. Thank you for letting me stay over.” I glanced at my mom, who pushed around the food on her plate mindlessly. Audrey met my gaze and stared blankly. I let out a sigh and Aunt Sam walked me to the door.

  Aunt Sam gave me a reassuring squeeze. “I’m glad you came over. It was nice to see you.”

  A weak smile formed and I shuffled anxiously. “I’ll try to come around more often. It’s hard for me to be here.”

  “I know it is.” Aunt Sam opened the door and I stepped out into the day. My boots crunched methodically over the hardened snow. The sun bounced off the white landscape, nearly blinding me. I shielded my eyes and slid into the car. My ignition coaxed the engine to life and I began the drive home. I idled at a stop sign, and the pocket in which I shoved Aaron’s box began to throb. Without hesitation, I took a left instead of right and drove for the church.

  The car coasted into the nearly vacant lot and I stared at the building, my mind battling what I was about to do. I had no proof but an old letter and a gut instinct. Shit. Here I go. The car door swung open heavily and I marched with force to the building. The door was unlocked and my legs did not hesitate; they carried me purposely to the office that I sought. I raised my knuckles to the door and rapped loudly.

  “Come in.”

  I stepped inside cautiously and stared at the Reverend at his desk. His glasses were lowered to the bridge of his nose, his graying hair was tidy, and his eyes meaningful. As I studied him, some of the venom I possessed drained away. He looked harmless. My eyes broke his stare and they began to wander the office. God is everywhere.

  “Emmy. What
a surprise. Please, have a seat. What can I do for you?”

  My gaze took in his open arm that gestured me to sit. I did so, rigidly, cautiously. The Reverend waited for me to speak. I slipped my hand into my deep coat pocket. My fingers traced the box, willing it to give me the strength I so needed. I cleared my throat. “You knew my brother?”

  The Reverend nodded solemnly. “Of course.”

  “How well did you know him?”

  The Reverend frowned and leaned back into his plush leather chair. “I can’t say I knew him particularly well. Why do you ask?”

  “I’ve been thinking about him a lot these days.”

  “Being home must bring a lot of memories back to life.”

  “Yes.” I paused and forced my gaze to burn into his. “And I think I’ve missed something. Something important.”

  The Reverend furrowed his brows. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

  “He shall die in his sin, and his righteous deeds which he has done shall not be remembered; but his blood I will require at your hand.”

  The Reverends arm twitched slightly. “Emmy, I still don’t follow. I’m sorry.”

  “Do you know the verse?”

  “Of course. It’s a powerful statement. Revenge is a strong emotion.”

  My gaze darkened and the anger crept into my veins. “I need you to hear me. Stay away from my mom. Stay away from us.” I pushed the chair back loudly. “I’m on to you.”

  The Reverend stood abruptly. “I think there has been some sort of a mistake.”

  I backed out slowly. “Stay away from us. I don’t know why you did it, but I intend to find out.”

  I slammed the door closed and marched down the hall. My heart hammered in my chest unevenly and my limbs began to shake as the adrenaline coursed through. What have I done? I hopped in my car and drove for home, replaying the accusation in my head over and over. The drive home was a blur. I parked in the driveway and made my way into the home quietly. It was not the warm embrace I had hoped for; there was a damp chill in the air. I opened the fireplace and used the fire poker to stir the dying embers. The cool air rushed in and reignited the orange glow. I tossed some kindling in and watched as the last remains of life transformed into a hot flame. The fire grew, devouring the dry kindle with a snap and crackle. When the new flame was ready, I fed it some logs and latched the door closed.

  With Chase fast asleep I rummaged through the fridge mindlessly. It was nearly empty. I bundled up and headed to the grocery store and wandered the aisles, filling the cart. As I headed to the check out I nearly collided into a familiar face.

  “Craig!”

  Craig looked amused. “I sure hope you don’t drive like that.”

  My posture relaxed. “Funny guy.” I studied him briefly. “Sorry, I was distracted. There’s a chance I may have over stepped my boundaries with your dad.”

  Craig raised a brow. “Oh, how so?”

  Uneasiness stirred in my gut. I bit my lip, unsure of how much to tell him. “Um, I may have accused him of being responsible for Aaron’s crash.”

  Craig’s smirk dropped and he lowered his voice. “What in the hell makes you think that? Look, its no secret my dad and I don’t see eye to eye, but that’s a little far fetched. Don’t you think?”

  The blood rushed to my face as the heat of embarrassment set in. “Look, I’m sorry. I am. It’s just that….well, I found a box hidden with some of Aaron’s things. There was this letter that was along the lines of threatening and biblical. I just thought…”

  Craig’s glowered darkened. “You can’t just go around accusing people of murder.” My face paled and I said nothing. Craig took a step closer. “That is what you’re saying, isn’t it? Murder.”

  My eyes remained glued to the floor. “I may have jumped the gun a little bit. But something was missed at the accident. I can feel it. Aaron wasn’t the only one in the Jeep that night.”

  Craig stopped mid step and turned to face me, confusion heavy in his features. “Why would you think that?”

  “I was there, Craig. Don’t you remember? I was there with Aaron until his last damn breath. He told me so himself.”

  Craig shook his head. “Leave my family alone.”

  Craig turned on his heel and stormed away. Leave my family alone. His words echoed in my head. How ironic, that was the last thing I said to his father. I paid for the groceries and placed them in my trunk. A sharp breeze swept through, causing me to shiver. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on edge. The parking lot was vacant, but my nerves were on edge. I shook my head and sat in the car. Instead of heading for home, I headed to my mom’s. As I pulled in to her driveway, disbelief set in at the sight of a familiar vehicle. I stuck the car in park and ran to the front door. Without knocking, I stepped inside and rounded the corner that led me to the kitchen. My feet came to a halt. My eyes widened as I stared at my mom, aunt Sam and the Reverend. He looked at me sheepishly and stood quickly.

  “What are you doing here?” I scowled.

  Audrey stood and held her hands out calmly. “Emmy, it’s okay. He’s just worried about you,” she soothed.

  The Reverend tipped his head. “I’ll see myself out.”

  I followed him, despite the protests behind me. “I told you to stay away.”

  The Reverend straightened his shoulders. “I’m worried about you and I felt the need to share my worries. I know how hard this must be for you, for your entire family. There are many stages to the grieving process. There is no time limit.”

  Words left me as I stared at him. He slipped out the front door and shut it quietly behind him. Audrey cleared her throat behind me. “Emmy, can we talk?”

  “Sure, why not.”

  She took me by the hand and led me to the couch. She softened her voice. “I know how hard Aaron’s death has been on you, for me as well. There is something I need to tell you about that night.”

  My heart shuddered as I met her eyes. Please don’t say you were there. Please don’t say it. Audrey blew out a breath. “I was there.”

  Tears began to build. “What do you mean?” I whispered.

  “I saw the aftermath. I heard you screaming,” her voice broke and she paused for a moment. “I can not tell you the pain in which my heart felt. Chase held me back and convinced me to leave. Honey, it took everything he had in him to keep me away.”

  “So it was you. I heard you calling my name, I thought I was going mad.”

  Audrey shook her head. “I briefly recall the month leading up to the accident. My symptoms had only just begun.”

  “I know,” I whispered.

  “That’s why this is hard for me to share this with you. I don’t know if I can trust my mind to remember things clearly.”

  I met my mom’s faraway eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “What if I did it? What if it was me that caused the accident?”

  My throat went dry. My brain clicked slowly but no response came. Audrey shook her head and raised her large eyes to mine and began to cry. “He won’t last much longer. Now is the time to say good-bye. I remember the people at the scene repeating it over and over.” Audrey paused. “They also asked me for my keys.”

  After I gathered my composure, I gathered my things and left. I stepped into the darkening day and walked to my car in a zombie like fashion. As I neared, the flapping envelope under my wiper blade gathered my full attention. I reached for it numbly and opened the letter.

  All those you love are easily lost, some more than others. Stop digging.

  I shoved the letter into my purse and flopped into the drivers seat. There was only one person here who could have given me the letter. My only question was why.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Chase gathered his things for the night. I watched, battling an internal struggle of sharing recent events. In the end I decided against it. He had enough on his plate. Chase shoved the last of his meals into a bag and stood.

  “That’s everything,” he forced a smile.r />
  “Not thrilled to go to work, huh?”

  “Not even a little bit.” He glanced out the window. “Another storms blowing in. I packed extra clothes in case I have to sleep at work. Are you going to be alright?”

  “I’ll be fine. We have plenty of firewood and food.”

  “Okay.” He bent down and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “Have a good night.”

  “You too.”

  I leaned against the doorframe and watched him leave. Emptiness filled the room as soon as he was gone. A sigh escaped and I wandered the darkened house, replaying everything from today. My mind was fogged with confusion; there wasn’t much to go on. I pulled back the curtain and looked at the threatening sky. There was some time before the brunt of the storm broke loose. I gathered my keys and drove to the barn. The soothing scent of sweet hay met me, temporarily masking the heaviness I carried.

  Ace swung his head over the door and nickered an eager greeting. I cupped his nose between my hands and smiled. “You’re going stir crazy from being cooped up, aren’t ya buddy?”

  Ace blinked his chocolate eyes. “Want to go for a ride?”

  We were saddled up in no time. I contemplated for a millisecond about riding in the warm arena, but my heart tugged for the trails. I guided Ace outside and he began to prance eagerly. He knew the route by heart as I rode with a loose rein. We weaved our way between the trees as Ace’s hooves eagerly ate up the path. I focused on deep breathing and allowed my mind to clear. The gold chain entered my thoughts; I needed to find the owner. It would give me one more clue toward the puzzle. Don’t let it be my mom. Please. Don’t let it be her.

  Ace suddenly tensed. He began to dance nervously and I sat deeper in the saddle. “It’s okay bud, we’re okay.” I soothed and ran a hand down his stiff neck.