Fight

by Nicole Dykes

  Aiden is sitting on the edge of the bed, unfastening his tie with his suit jacket laid neatly over a chair. My heart is pounding as his eyes roam over my body, looking pleased. “You’re beautiful, Shaw.”

  My heart flutters as he stands, removing his tie and dropping it on the floor before walking toward me. I can do this. I’m living in his home and I care about him. The feeling is mutual. And I’m certainly attracted to him. Especially when he dips his mouth to my neck, kissing me softly there.

  My fingers work on his buttons before I push his dress shirt over his broad shoulders. He doesn’t have a six pack like Carter or Dean, but his stomach is firm, his arms are defined, and he has a sexy dusting of light chest hair.

  I drag my hand over his stomach, and he sucks in a harsh breath. “You’re driving me crazy, Shaw. Please tell me you’re on birth control.”

  I nod my head having an IUD because there is no way in hell I want kids now, or maybe ever with knowing how messed up the world can be.

  He holds my face in his hands and kisses me sweetly. “Good. I need you.” He pulls back, looking into my eyes, seriousness back now. He looks worried. “Have you been tested?”

  Is he really asking me that?

  I put my hand on his forearm. “What?”

  He swallows, straightening his back and staring intensely in my eyes. “Shaw, I care about you.” His eyes drag over my body again and he looks almost pained as he meets my eyes. “But I can’t catch some disease either. My reputation would never come back from it.”

  Well this is sexy.

  Of course, I’m sure in real relationships, you have this talk. I’ve only been with Carter, but I know he’s been with others. Still I did go to the clinic for my yearly exam only a week ago. “I’m clean. I can show you the test results if you’d like?”

  He shakes his head. “I trust you. Do you trust me?”

  I raise an eyebrow asking, “Do you have something?”

  He chuckles like that’s ridiculous. “I told you, I’ve only had casual sex before and casual sex requires a condom.”

  Good to know.

  I don’t tell him that I’ve never used a condom before because I don’t want to be lectured. “Okay.”

  He smiles and his lips meet mine again, bringing us back into the moment and I’m grateful.

  I want to give our relationship a real chance.

  I can’t believe she moved in with this asshat, but I have to try to be happy for her. I can’t support her and her mom on my fighting salary. Not yet anyway.

  And as long as Pam is getting care and Shaw is taken care of, how much can I complain?

  I ring the doorbell of the ridiculously large house and before I know it, Shaw’s arms are wrapped around me. “Carter! You asshole, you’re finally here.”

  I chuckle and hold her small body to mine, breathing her in. I haven’t seen her for almost a month even though she invited me over the first week she moved in.

  It’s taken a lot to force myself to come here. To watch her playing house with someone else.

  She pushes me back, but she’s smiling brightly. I can’t deny that she looks good. All healthy and shit. Her skin has been kissed by the sun even though it’s fall. She doesn’t look like she’s been starving and has even filled out in a too perfect way that almost makes me groan seeing her cleavage in the tank top she’s wearing.

  “You know it’s fall right?”

  She laughs and shoves me again. “It’s the weekend and I don’t have to go anywhere. I love this tank top. Now get in here.” I walk inside and feel how warm the house is despite the cool air outside.

  I look around at the large living room to our right and the staircase to the left. “Jesus.”

  She laughs and takes my hand for a tour of the massive house she now lives in. She only briefly shows me the master bedroom, I’m assuming she shares with him, before moving on to a guest room and then an office.

  We then tour the main floor with a huge kitchen that doesn’t look like it’s ever been used, a dining room, and a living room with a flat screen television bigger than the wall of my bedroom in the loft studio apartment I’m living in.

  She walks me down to the basement that has a gym, a game room, and a home theater. “Wow, Shaw.”

  She shrugs her small shoulder. “Crazy, right?”

  I force a smile saying, “Insane.” I look around again, knowing there is no way in hell I can ever give her this. I want to be happy for her.

  I’m working on it.

  We go upstairs, my eyes still drifting over every piece of furniture and square foot of the place. “Where’s Pam?”

  She beams at that and pushes the door open taking us out in the back yard that has an underground pool and patio. She walks to a guest home and knocks gently before opening the door.

  “I hope she’s awake.”

  My gut hurts thinking about how I haven’t checked on Pam in person yet. We walk down the hall and Shaw grins wide when she sees her mom is sitting up in bed. “Mom! Look who I found?”

  Pam looks behind her and when she spots me, she smiles, “Carter! How are you sweetie?”

  She looks skinny, but better than she did in the hospital. She still has oxygen to help her breathe, but her eyes are wide open. “Hi, Pam. I’m fine.” I lean down and give her a hug. “How are you?”

  She looks around, not looking nearly as comfortable as Shaw, but she’s smiling, “I’m doing great.”

  I nod my head as Shaw comes over to the bed and sits on the edge. “The doctor Aiden found is hopeful.”

  “Cautiously optimistic,” Pam corrects, but Shaw doesn’t retract her statement. Pam takes Shaw’s hand and looks up at me. “Shaw is doing amazing in her first semester. Can you believe our girl is in college?”

  I nod my head and take a seat in a comfortable chair by her bed. “Yeah. I can,” I look over at Shaw, “and I’m glad.”

  Shaw looks down at her feet briefly and I know that shame is still there. She hates accepting help. She changes the subject when she looks over at me. “How are Cooper and Ben?”

  Pam’s interest is piqued now as she looks over at me. “They’re fine. They’re tough like their brother.” I don’t tell her that they always ask about her because I don’t want her going over there.

  They do seem to be doing okay, but their dad has been drinking more and more. His outbursts are getting worse and I’m this close to taking them with me next time.

  How I’ll make that shit work, I have no idea.

  Pam looks slightly concerned, but still has that smile on her face. Always the mama bear wanting to make everything okay. “They are strong. I’m glad they have you.”

  I wish I could be better for them.

  We talk for a while and then Shaw and I go back to the main house, settling on the couch. “You happy, Shaw?” It’s hard to ask, but I need to know the answer.

  “Yes.” There is a sadness in her eyes though. “My mom is doing a little better and college is great.”

  “And Aiden? That fucker better be treating you right.”

  She gestures at the surrounding room. “I mean, look around. He treats me like a princess.”

  She’s never been the princess type, but I bite my tongue. “Buying you things doesn’t mean he treats you right.”

  She sighs and then lays her head on my shoulder. “He does. He really does. I’m okay, Carter, but I worry about you every day.”

  My chest tightens and I feel stiff. “Why?”

  “Because you’re my best friend. And because you work for those bastards.”

  I cringe, knowing how we both felt about the men I work for when Dane was working for them, but I don’t feel that way anymore. I don’t necessarily like some of the shit they’re into, but as far as I know they don’t traffic humans, and the other shit just seems like a necessary evil. Something that will always be around.

  Drugs, prostitution, gambling… that shit is old as time and not going anywhere.

  As long as
everyone is a willing participant, I don’t have much against it. Call me immoral, but I’ll call you a fucking hypocrite if you think you’ve never sinned.

  “I’m fine, Shaw.”

  “I miss you.”

  I smile and kiss her temple. “I miss you too, but I’m here. Always here.”

  She nods her head and I look at the clock. Well, fuck. And right after that statement, I have to go.

  “I have a fight tonight. I have to go.”

  She nods her head, still resting on my shoulder. “Have you lost yet?”

  “You’re really going to jinx me with that shit.”

  She giggles and lifts her head, looking at me. “Don’t lose.”

  “I never fucking do.”

  We stand and she walks me over to the door, just as Aiden’s shiny black car pulls up. I’m glad I’m on my way out, but honestly wish I didn’t have to see him at all.

  He climbs out of the car and approaches us, cold and cool as he takes me in. “Carter. I didn’t know you were coming over today.”

  “I’ve been trying to get him to come over since I moved in.” Shaw teases, but Aiden doesn’t look too pleased.

  I could say something shitty about taking a tour, but I don’t want to fuck things up for Shaw. If she likes this guy, I’ll do my best to be civil. “I needed to check on Pam. I haven’t seen her for a while.”

  He nods at that. His jaw ticking and I know he’s jealous. As much as I care about Shaw, I’m not going to tell him he has nothing to worry about.

  Because as soon as I can, I’m coming back for my girl.

  I watch Carter walk to his car and drive away, my heart aching as he leaves, but I’m so happy he finally stopped by.

  Aiden walks into the house and I bounce in behind him on a high from seeing Carter. I wrap my arms around his neck and go to kiss him, but he pulls away. His hands are braced on my hands, holding me back from him. “Do you really think I want to kiss you right now?”

  I stare at him utterly confused. “Why wouldn’t you? I always kiss you when you get home.”

  What the hell is going on? Things have been great with Aiden. He works a lot, but it’s still been nice. Right now he looks furious. “I don’t know where your lips have been.”

  I flinch and pull my arms away from him, stepping back. “What?”

  Aiden points toward the door. “You didn’t mention that your little friend was coming by my house.”

  He’s sure to emphasize that it’s his house and I wince. “I told you I wanted him to visit. To see the home, you said was ours.”

  “It is our house, but it’s also my house and do you really think I want you entertaining your ex-lovers here when I’m not home?”

  I try like hell to listen for any hint that he’s joking, but he’s not. “He’s my best friend.”

  “He’s not to be here when I’m not.”

  I fold my arms under my breasts and glare at him. “You can’t tell me who I can and can’t see. That can’t happen.”

  He takes a step closer to me, towering over me in an intimidating way I don’t like. I’m brought back to the day we fought. The day he hit me, but I stand as tall as I can. “In my house, I can tell you that. I don’t want him here.”

  “He’s my friend.” I barely recognize the pleading in my voice.

  “He’s your ex-lover who you so kindly told me you still think about.”

  I cringe, thinking about my own words. “That was before.”

  He backs me up against the wall and I can feel his fury, but he doesn’t touch me. “Before what? We fucked? Now you don’t need dick, so you don’t fantasize about your friend?”

  I stare up at him, tears burning my eyes. I can’t believe the cruelness in his voice. “I was angry when I said that.”

  He glowers at me, looking almost pained and I know that he’s jealous of Carter. I get it. He’s right, I wouldn’t be happy if I came home and found him with an ex. I would still try to trust him though. Not accuse him of anything.

  “Nothing happened. I don’t see him that way anymore.” That’s not exactly true, I think a part of me will always see Carter that way, but I’m really trying with Aiden.

  I want it to be perfect.

  “I want you to quit the diner.”

  My eyes widen as I look up at him. “What?”

  “You heard me. It’s ridiculous that you’re still working.” He takes a step back and gestures around his house. “You have everything you need and I’m sure it’s only adding stress when you should be focusing on school.”

  “I only work twenty hours a week.”

  “That’s twenty too many. You’re a full-time student, Shaw.”

  I try to decipher this whole conversation, but I swear it starts to make my head hurt. “What does that have to do with today?”

  “Honestly?” He takes a step closer to me, his eyes raking over my body and then back to my eyes. “I see so much potential in you, Shaw. So much. But you can’t truly be who you’re supposed to be when you are hanging on to that old life.”

  My lips part to say something, but I don’t. I don’t want to fight with him. “Aiden,” I place my hand on his firm bicep. “I’ll think about it, okay? And you don’t have to worry about Carter, but he will always be my friend.”

  He places his palms on the wall, on either side of my head, his lips brushing over my forehead. “You’re mine, Shaw. I don’t want him around you when I’m not around.”

  I’ve watched a lot of movies and I’ve read a lot of romance books, the male is always possessive of what he thinks is his. This is okay then, right?

  Part of me likes that he cares enough to want me to himself, but the other part… definitely feels uneasy.

  “I am yours, but he’s my friend.”

  He sighs and places a kiss on my forehead. “I still want you to quit the diner.”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “Always so stubborn.” This time he kisses my lips and then smiles down at me, which makes me smile.

  This is the part I like.

  ‘’I walk into the diner, looking around for Shaw. Her boss told me she cut down her hours considerably, but said she was supposed to be working now. I smile when I spot her, just a glance of her always speeds up my heart in a way I should probably be concerned about.

  She sees me and waves, walking over in that ugly ass uniform that she looks so fucking beautiful in. “Carter, hi. What are you doing here?”

  I hold up the papers in my hand. “Ben and Coop wanted you to have these drawings for Christmas.”

  She smiles and takes them, tears forming in her pretty eyes as she looks at them with so much fondness. “I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas.”

  I can’t either. Time just keeps flying by. “I know.”

  “They both know how to spell their names now.” She says it like she’s in a daze, lost in thought and I nod.

  “You okay, Shaw?”

  She looks up at me answering, “Yeah I’m fine.” She looks around the diner, slowly. It’s snowing like crazy out and the diner is actually pretty empty. “Aiden wants me to quit.”

  I chew on the inside of my cheek thinking about that fucker telling her what to do, but I don’t say anything negative. “Maybe you should.”

  She looks surprised. “You really think that?”

  Yeah, but I would never tell her to. “If you want to, yeah. I mean… you’re going to school and taking care of your mom.”

  She’s thinking it over, but I know my best friend. She’s conflicted. “It’s like that last piece of my old life.”

  I know what she means. “That’s probably a good thing to let go of, isn’t it? Your old life… it was tough.”

  She deserves better.

  She smiles sadly. “It wasn’t all bad.” She groans, but she’s still smiling. “For Christ’s sake, I’m going to the country club tonight.”

  I fight a laugh and shrug. “That’s not bad.”

  She eyes me suspiciousl
y. “Oh my God, Carter Donovan, have you been to the country club?”

  She says it in a teasing tone that does make me laugh. “Yeah. The guys I work for really like to throw their money around.”

  She’s grinning now, clearly amused. “And?”

  “And I’ve never been that fucking full in my life, Shaw. Damn, I think I still dream about the food there.”

  She giggles at that and it’s a beautiful sound. “You’re getting used to the finer things too?”

  I shrug, chuckling slightly. “Eh, I wouldn’t say that, but if they want to feed me, I won’t fight them. Why are you going there tonight anyway?”

  She looks nervous as she tucks her hair behind her ear. “To meet Aiden’s super rich family and friends. Sounds like a blast, right?”

  Internally, I’m afraid for her, being around a bunch of rich douchebags we grew up hating. On the outside, I try my best to seem optimistic. “I’m sure there will be good food then.”

  She smiles, looking like she’s going over so many thoughts in that head of hers. “I just don’t want to completely lose myself.”

  I nod my head and smile. “There’s no way that will ever happen. You’re Shaw. Nothing can totally change you.”

  She’s beaming up at me like that was exactly what she wanted to hear. “Thank you.” She looks at the pictures in her hands. “And thank you for this. I really want to see them.”

  “Maybe I’ll bring them by here soon. That is if you’re not going to quit.”

  Her small shoulders lift, “Maybe I should. My mom…” She swallows tightly and then takes a deep breath. “She’s getting the best care, but who knows how many more Christmases I’ll get with her.”

  That thought pains me, but I know she isn’t wrong. I give her a clipped nod unable to form actual words.

  She hugs me and we say goodbye before I head out to my car. Taking a minute to look back through the window, I see Shaw laughing and smiling brightly as she pours a cup of coffee. This is the Shaw I know well. The one with hope and who’s so kind. Smart, but still a dreamer.