More than Survival (A Zombie Apocalypse Love Story Book 1)

by Kate L. Mary

  When he finished, he tossed me a blanket as he got to his feet. I clutched it to my chest, trying to ease the pounding of my heart as I watched him move about the room. Cleaning the blood from his hands, putting away the supplies he’d gotten out. Then he lowered himself into the chair in front of me as if he owned the place.

  “So…” The man held my gaze like he was waiting for me to say something. Only I didn’t know what he wanted me to say.

  “Who are you?” I asked, starting with the most pressing question.

  “Sawyer.” He ran his hand through his hair, but it was so greasy it barely moved. He let out a deep breath that sounded exhausted. “My name is Sawyer. I got caught in this storm and was doing my best to get back home when I heard you scream. Wasn’t sure if I’d find you in all that snow, but there you were.” He paused and looked around the room, and something about the way he held himself seemed tense. Stressed even. “Are you all alone here?”

  “Yes.” I swallowed, hating how weak that answer sounded and willing the next words to come out firmer. “My uncle is out. I expect him home any time.”

  Sawyer nodded and his shoulders relaxed a bit. “Good. It’s too dangerous for a woman to be alone these days. Especially a woman like you.” His eyes moved to the blanket I had clutched against my chest, and even though I was covered, his gaze made me feel more naked than ever.

  “Thank you for saving me.”

  His gaze moved from the blanket and once again focused on my face. “Aren’t you going to tell me your name?”

  “Lucy.” I didn’t really want to tell him anything, but my name popped out before I could stop it. Again, my cheeks flushed, and I looked away from the man in front of me. Something about him made my body tremble. Maybe it was his blue eyes. They were intense, but pretty, and very searching. Like he wanted to see all of me, inside and out. No one had ever looked at me that way before.

  Sawyer said nothing, and I kept quiet as well, taking a moment to make a mental checklist of the weapons hidden in the room. There were ten of them in all, two of which were within arm’s reach. Sawyer was so close and so big that I knew when he did decide to attack I’d be defenseless unless I was armed. I doubted he would wait long, either. Not with as vulnerable as I was right now.

  He moved and my body stiffened, but all he did was lean back. He threw his right leg over his left knee, settling in like he wasn’t in any hurry to attack me, but it was pretty obvious he wasn’t planning to leave either. Which meant I wasn’t out of the woods yet.

  We sat in silence for a few minutes. Me trembling, Sawyer alternating between studying the house and looking me over. Every time his blue eyes swept over my body a quiver worked its way through me. I wanted to get up and get dressed, but I was afraid to put my back to him, certain he’d attack as soon as I wasn’t looking.

  “Do you have any food, Lucy?”

  I jumped at the sound of his voice, lost in my thoughts about what Sawyer had planned for me and how I might possibly defend myself against him. When I looked up to meet his eyes, they narrowed on my face. I felt like he could read my mind, and for some reason that made me flush with embarrassment.

  “Stew,” I said, unable to think of a reason to lie with his gaze so focused on me. He’d find it anyway if he decided to look for it. “There’s some stew in the kitchen.”

  Sawyer nodded once, then slapped his hands against his knees and stood. “Good. I’ll get some for both of us.”

  I was on my feet the second his back was to me. He headed for the kitchen while I scrambled to my room—well, tried to anyway. With the throbbing in my shoulder and the shaking in my legs it was more like a shamble. Like one of the dead.

  Once in my room I shut the door behind me. There was no lock, but at least I’d have a moment to collect myself if I heard him headed my way. My shoulder throbbed with every move I made, but it didn’t stop me from grabbing a long sleeve shirt out of my dresser and pulling it over my head. I tucked it into my pants, then pulled a sweater over it. It was the biggest, baggiest one I had, and it allowed me to tuck a knife into my pocket. If he tried to attack me now he’d get a big surprise.

  I cracked the door, then took a couple deep breaths before heading out. I had just set foot in the living room when I was greeted by the sound of Sawyer humming in the kitchen. The cheerfulness caught me so off guard that I sat down without thinking. He didn’t seem like he was dangerous, but I couldn’t let him fool me. Maybe he was doing it to throw me off. Anything was possible, and I wasn’t going to let him get the jump on me. If one of us were going to die, it would be him. Not me.

  After less than five minutes alone, Sawyer came back into the living room. He had a steaming bowl of stew in each hand, one of which he passed to me without saying a word. I took it, still too stunned to know what to say, and watched as he settled onto the couch in front of the low fire. It wasn’t enough to keep me warm, but it took the edge off. The stew would help, too.

  Sawyer didn’t look at me as he started to eat, and after only ten seconds of my stomach growling, I found myself eating as well. We ate in silence, watching each other from time to time. I was eyeing him, trying to get a good read on him so I could figure out what his plan was. Why he was watching me so closely though, I wasn’t sure. He could be biding his time, but it felt like more than that.

  “This is a nice setup you have here,” Sawyer said after a bit, the awe in his voice obvious. “It’s probably the most impressive place I’ve seen.”

  “My uncle was a prepper, so he was ready when all this went down. My parents died and he took me in. Raised me like his own. It’s been just the two of us for the last eleven years.”

  As soon as the words were out I slammed my mouth shut. Why the hell had I just told this stranger all that stuff? He didn’t need to know all the personal details of my life. I had the urge to slap myself on the forehead.

  Sawyer nodded like it was totally normal that I had just spilled my guts to him. “Nice. You got lucky. I had to steal most of the stuff I have, which isn’t always easy and rarely comes without violence. Should be used to it by now,” he shook his head, “I’m not though.”

  I took a big bite of stew, but had a hard time swallowing it. Just hearing him mention violence made my stomach clench. He was dangerous. I had to keep that in mind. Despite his humming and the gentle way he had taken care of me, he would try to do me harm if given the chance. It was possible he was just trying to get information out of me before doing his worst.

  “So, it’s just been you and your uncle out here this whole time?” he asked, barely looking up from his stew. He was eating it so fast I half expected him to lick the bowl clean when he was done. “Eleven years in the middle of nowhere. Seems lonely.”

  “It has been. You’re the first person I’ve spoken to other than my uncle since this whole thing started.”

  Again with the information! I felt like I wasn’t in control of my brain or the words coming out of my mouth, and I had no idea why or what to do about it. You’d think after all these years of not talking to another person I’d be shy, but no. Instead, I just threw out every thought that entered my mind without any consideration as to what the consequences might be.

  Sawyer paused mid-chew and his eyebrows pulled together. He acted like he was trying to work out some kind of problem. “You’ve never been to town?” I shook my head. “Never been around any men other than your uncle?” I shook my head again, this time slower, and Sawyer looked me up and down. “You’re what, twenty?”

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  He let out a low whistle. “Damn. So you were nine when this started and your uncle’s been hiding you away since then.” He looked me up and down for the second time, then frowned. “No wonder.”

  My heart was pounding like crazy. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing.” Sawyer shook his head as he took another bite, chewing it slowly. Not looking at me. After a few minutes of silence he said, “I’ll probably stick ar
ound until your uncle gets back. With this storm he could be gone longer than usual and I’d hate for anyone to find you alone. I know it’s unlikely this high up in the mountains, but it’s still possible. I found you, after all.”

  My heart almost stopped completely. I wanted to protest, but I couldn’t because I’d have to admit that my uncle wasn’t coming back, and that was information that he never needed to know.

  I sank lower in my chair, cringing when my shoulder throbbed. Thinking about how vulnerable I was made me shake with fear. I was hurt and alone, and even though I was capable when it came to survival, I was still naïve about a lot of things. There was no doubt in my mind that the man in front of me saw what an easy target I was, and I hated how right he was.

  If only Seamus hadn’t disappeared.

  Chapter 5

  SAWYER

  We ate in silence, studying each other while we both pretended not to notice the other one doing it. She was jumpy and I couldn’t blame her. I was a stranger, and a man on top of that, and she was alone in the cabin. Anything could happen, and she got damn lucky that I was the one who had stumbled upon her and not some other asshole. The world was crawling with them now. Hell, maybe it had always been crawling with them, but in this day and age they seemed to multiply, growing in numbers with every week that went by. When you had no one to answer to, it didn’t take long to realize that all those baser instincts you’d been trying to suppress could just come on out. There were no real consequences, after all. It took a strong person not to give in to the little voice whispering in his ear, especially when almost everyone around him was giving in. Unfortunately, the world had a hell of a lot more weaklings than I’d ever realized.

  I shifted and Lucy’s head jerked up. Her hand moved to her hip, probably without her even realizing it, and I had to bite back a smile. She had a weapon. Good girl.

  My spoon scraped against the bottom of the bowl and I shoved the last little bit of stew into my mouth. “This was great,” I said, the words coming out a little muffled.

  “Thank you.” She kept her head down but her eyes lifted to look at me once again. They were brown and piercing and damn pretty. Just like the rest of her was.

  I tried my best not to think about the soft skin hidden beneath her oversized sweater, but it was impossible. She’d been flawless, perfect, and it had taken every ounce of strength inside me not to run my hands over her body when she’d been stretched out on the couch in front of me. God, it had been a long time since I’d seen a woman without clothes on. Too long.

  I cleared my throat and stood before my imagination got the best of me. Lucy’s bowl was empty as well, so I took it from her and headed into the kitchen. I needed space and something else to think about so I didn’t make an ass of myself. Her earlier words were still ringing in my ears, and I knew that she wasn’t just young, but inexperienced as well. She’d been here almost her whole life, hidden away from the world. If she was scared of me now, she’d be terrified of the thoughts going through my head.

  “Did you make it?” I called as I pumped water into the washbasin. It was freezing cold, and before I’d finished cleaning both of the bowls, my body was covered in goose bumps.

  “Yes,” Lucy called from the other room. “And I killed the rabbit.”

  She killed the rabbit? I craned my neck so I could look out into the room. Lucy’s back was to me and she had her sweater pulled up a little, giving me another glimpse of her milky skin. I almost looked away—I hadn’t turned into a creeper yet and I wasn’t planning on it now—but I froze when I saw her adjusting the position of a knife that was tucked into her pocket. Despite everything going on, I felt a smile curl up my lips. She was something else.

  “I’m impressed.”

  Lucy didn’t respond and when I went back out into the other room—the bowls clean and lying upside down on the counter so they could dry—I found her still in the chair. Her knees were pulled up to her chest and her arms were hugging them while her eyes followed me across the room.

  Having her watch me was unnerving and thrilling at the same time. I tried not to think about her as I laid wood out in front of the fire so it could dry, but it was damn near impossible.

  “I’m putting the last dry log on right now,” I said.

  I tossed the log in and sparks flew up around it, floating into the air and up the chimney. It wasn’t going to help a whole lot, but it would be better than nothing.

  I didn’t move right away, staring at the log with my back to Lucy as I lost myself in thoughts that had nothing to do with the cabin I was standing in. Being here with her had all kinds of feelings resurfacing that were playing tricks with my brain. I hadn’t been around a woman in five years. Too long, but at the same time, not long enough. If I’d had a say in things, that wouldn’t have changed.

  Floorboards creaked behind me and on instinct I spun around. Less than a foot away stood Lucy, her knife out and her eyes wide with fear. Her gaze moved from me to the knife so fast that I barely had time to register what was happening before she made her move. She rushed toward me, bringing the knife low like she was aiming for my gut. My heart jumped and I dodged out of the way, grabbing her around the wrist at the same time. I twisted it lightly and she let out a whimper as the knife fell from her hand and clattered to the floor at our feet.

  This time when she looked at me her eyes were bigger than ever and they were swimming with fear. She pulled out of my grasp and I took a step back, putting space between us so she’d know that I wasn’t going to hurt her. I lifted my hands and worked on keeping my expression non-threatening, but with the way my blood was moving through my veins, hot and fast, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to pull it off.

  “Shit.” I scooped the knife up off the floor and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. “You know I’m not going to hurt you, right?”

  She nodded, but everything about her told me that she didn’t believe it.

  I took a step closer, holding my hands out in front of me like I was approaching a frightened animal. “Lucy, you can trust me. There are a lot of men out there who would—” Terror flashed in her eyes and the words died on my lips. Shit. She was innocent, but not oblivious, and bringing all that up would only scare her more. I needed to reassure her. “Never mind. Just know I’m not one of those men. I promise that I will never lay a hand on you without your permission. Okay?”

  She blinked and some of the fear disappeared, but in its place was something else. Curiosity? That’s when it hit me what I had said. I’d been thinking about her injury and how she would need help keeping it clean over the next few days, but the words could have been interpreted as something else. It could have come across as me saying that I wanted to put my hands on her—and God did I—but I would wait for her to ask me for it.

  “I mean taking care of your injury,” I whispered. “I won’t ever touch you in any other way. Okay?”

  Just saying the words hurt, but I knew I needed to reassure her. Plus, I couldn’t imagine a scenario where I would want to get involved with this girl. She was young, had spent her whole life out here with her uncle who had probably seen to her every need. Odds were she cooked and did the laundry while he took care of everything else. Getting involved with her would just be an obligation, and one I wasn’t going to allow myself to get roped into again.

  “Ok-kay,” Lucy stammered.

  Despite everything, I couldn’t help wondering if somewhere in the back of her mind she was thinking about other things. Things she probably only had a vague idea of, but things that at the age of twenty she had to be wondering about. One look around the room was all it had taken to notice the extensive collection of books lined up on the shelf, many of which were steamy romances exactly like the ones Mollie had loved.

  I held the knife out to her. “If I give this back, will you try to kill me?”

  When she shook her head her auburn curls danced around her shoulders. They were still damp from the snow, but drying nicely. “
No.”

  I gave her a hesitant but friendly smile as she took the weapon.

  She tucked it in her pocket, her eyes still holding mine, and I let out a deep sigh.

  It had been a crazy day. I’d started out from my house early, hoping to beat the weather. When the storm moved in it was fast, and I’d spent the next several hours wandering the forest. If this girl hadn’t screamed, I might have died out there.

  When the realization hit just how close I had come to death, my body slumped from exhaustion.

  “Come here,” I said, motioning toward the couch at my side. “It’s getting late and I’m exhausted. I want to check your dressing before I pass out.”

  Lucy didn’t move.

  “I told you—” I grabbed her hand and gently pulled her toward the couch, being careful not to scare her. “—I won’t touch you like that.”

  She didn’t resist, but she did narrow her eyes on my face at the words like that. Heat rushed to my face like I was twelve years old, not thirty-one. Shit. When was the last time I’d been embarrassed by something? I couldn’t remember. I’d been alone for so long, and the years before that had mainly been about survival. There was little room for emotions other than fear and sadness these days, especially not childish things like embarrassment.

  “I’m going to take a look at your injury,” I said, giving her fair warning before doing anything else.

  Lucy just nodded.

  I moved the neck of her sweater aside, hoping to save us both from having to repeat the experience from earlier, but sighed when I realized she was wearing a long-sleeve shirt underneath. The other shirt was fitted, meaning there was no way that I’d be able to get a look at her injury while she was wearing it.

  Shit.

  “You’re going to have to take your shirt off.” She sucked in a deep breath but I kept my eyes down. “I’m sorry. I can’t do anything through two layers, and that bottom shirt is too tight for me to be able to get a good look.”